The woman marching toward us seemed ageless—and more than a little terrifying. My father’s warning that her gruffness was just bravado did little to reassure me as her piercing blue eyes landed on me and widened momentarily before narrowing. Her hair was the color of fire, brilliant shades of red and orange, streaked through with strands of white ash, and her skin was an even darker olive than my father’s. Her glowing blue eyes stood out starkly as she stormed up to where I tried not to cower next to my father and Raidyn.
Rather than attempting to escape what appeared to be the building fury in the Paladin woman descending on us, the rest of the battalion subtly drew closer to their leader and to me—though that was more by default, I assumed, than by a desire to protect someone they didn’t even know.
“Adelric, that is a human,” Ederra bit out by way of greeting when she halted a few feet from where we stood, her eyes flashing in a way that made me want to duck and cover my head.
“Yes. And she is also your granddaughter” was his succinct response.
A strangled noise came from my throat and I flushed. I attempted to smile—but my lips twisted, only one half even lifting, as I flinched back from the fury on her face. Great first impression, Zuhra.
“Hello,” I tried again and then snapped my mouth shut when my grandmother’s eyebrows lifted, her burning eyes raking over me. Raidyn coughed next to me, but I had a sneaking suspicion he was really attempting to hide a laugh. I’d never had the urge to elbow someone in the stomach before in my life, until that moment. Focus, I coached myself. You have to impress her. This woman holds the power to get you back to Inara.
I opened my mouth to try once more, but before I could speak, Ederra curtly announced, “I don’t have a granddaughter,” and turned her back on me.
It took me a heartbeat to snap my mouth shut and try to erase the devastation surely evident on my face. The sunshine on my cheeks was warm, the light breeze balmy, but I wrapped my arms tightly around my waist, suppressing a sudden shiver.
I don’t have a granddaughter.
It only took two more heartbeats for me to make a decision.
“Zuhra—”
I couldn’t tell if it was Adelric or Raidyn who spoke over the thundering of my heartbeat and the rush of blood in my ears, but I ignored the troubled tone and rushed after my grandmother.
“Wait!” I shouted.
She paused halfway across the field and glanced over her shoulder at me, her eyes wide but her lips downturned.
“You don’t have to want me,” I panted when I finally reached her side. “Just help me get home, please. Help me get back to Inara—to my sister. The rakasa got through and if she’s not dead yet then she will be s—”
“What?” Ederra’s hissed question cut through my pleadings. “What rakasa? What is the meaning of this?” Her voice rose as she looked over my head. If I’d thought my mother had mastered the glare, she had nothing on this woman. I was almost afraid the blue fire glowing in her eyes was about to erupt out and burn us all on the spot.
“I would have told you if you’d given me a second to do so.” Adelric’s reply from directly behind me was much calmer than mine would have been. How was he not shaking in his boots?
“I’m giving you half a second to explain what she’s talking about right now.” My grandmother—could I call her that if she refused to accept me as her granddaughter?—Ederra pointed at me as though I had single-handedly caused the entire catastrophe.
“Her sister has immense Paladin power, just as I suspected,” my father began. “Power that has been suppressed—unused—for fifteen years, ever since the night she was born and I was sucked through the gateway by the surge from her birth. And today, she finally touched the gateway in the citadel.”
A muscle clenched in Ederra’s cheek, her lips pursed into a thin line. My father’s words echoed in my mind: He was sucked through the gateway—by a surge from Inara’s birth? He hadn’t abandoned us at all then … he hadn’t left us willingly. And I already knew he’d spent fifteen years trying to reopen it with no success to come back. Everything my mother had believed … everything she’d tried to ingrain in us … was wrong.
“Please, let them open the gateway so I can get back,” I pleaded. “The rakasa that got through was huge. I have to help my sister and Sam—”
“How is it that you came to be here?” She cut me off again, her voice as cold as ever, brushing away my terror for my sister and everyone else trapped in the citadel with that monster as if it were meaningless.
“Something grabbed my ankle and pulled me through. But my sister—”
“Was it still open?” Ederra addressed Adelric, ignoring my plea yet again.
“No, it closed shortly after Zuhra was pulled through.”
“This girl opened the gateway by herself? Just by touching it?”
I nodded, jumping in before Adelric. “Yes, my sister did. And I have to get back to her as soon as—”
“Your sister is a danger to herself and to both of our worlds. She has already caused irreparable harm.”
“So you’ll help me get back to her?”
Ederra’s eyes burned cold. “No. I won’t.”
“But…”
She turned on her heel and strode away.
This time I stood unmoving, my hands trembling. Hot anger boiled through my veins, but beside it beat a desperate grief that pricked my eyes. Was I stuck here—forever? If Raidyn somehow was right, and Inara hadn’t died yet, every hour that we wasted not rushing straight back to the gateway was another hour closer to the possibility that I wouldn’t ever see her again. Had Halvor survived the attack? Could he have been able to get one of the weapons and stop the beast?
“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her.” My father hurried past me, following in his mother’s footsteps, heading for the castle that no longer looked as beautiful as it had to me at first. I wasn’t sure how meeting my grandmother and having her be so gruff could change the appearance of a building, but somehow it had. Now the glittering walls and golden turrets seemed as cold and unfeeling as she.
I stood in the center of that field, staring at the massive structure, surrounded by Paladin and gryphons—more living beings near me than I’d ever experienced—and had never felt so alone in my life. All the fear and grief Raidyn’s assurances had managed to assuage for a time came tumbling back up. It didn’t matter how beautiful this place was, or how many unknown family members might live within those walls, or if potential friends could have been standing within talking distance right now … I only wanted my sister. My quiet, secluded citadel. Sami. Halvor. Even my mother.
All I’d wanted to do for so long was to escape, and now all I wanted was to go back.
If only there was some way to return to the moment when I’d left Inara’s door unlocked and redo that brief second of distraction that had led to all of this. The Paladin had unimaginable power, but even I knew none of them possessed the ability to change time.
“Don’t lose hope yet,” a female voice said in my language.
I swiped at my cheeks furiously before turning to face a young woman with deep auburn hair and alabaster skin brightened by a splash of freckles across her narrow nose standing beside Raidyn. “Who said I’ve lost hope?” I snapped. “And why do you all speak my language?” It was irrational to be angry about that, I knew, but I couldn’t help it.
They exchanged a glance, a look that spoke far more than their words, and revealed a closeness that only served to remind me how alone I was here.
“She can be very intimidating,” the girl said.
“Sharmaine is right. It would be difficult to find someone who isn’t at least a little bit afraid of your grandmother. But that doesn’t mean things can’t change.”
I exhaled and added, with a bit more control, “I just have to get back there—as soon as possible.”
“General Adelric is doing what he can, I’m sure of it. And though she is the leader of the council, Ederra isn’t the only say. Perhaps the rest of the council will side with him—with you,” Raidyn offered. “My mother used to say ‘as long as you’re breathing, there’s always hope.’”
Sharmaine put one hand on Raidyn’s arm, a gesture that was so instinctive she almost didn’t seem to realize she’d done it. A strange flare of heat went through me to see her touch him, to witness the softness in her gaze when she glanced up at him. I swatted it down, baffled and disconcerted at my immediate reaction that I had no right to feel.
“I still think it’s true,” she said, almost too low for me to hear, and then turned to me. “Zuhra, I know you’re worried about your sister, but what’s done is done, and—”
“It is not done!”
Sharmaine startled at the vehemence in my tone and I hurried to continue.
“It can’t be done … because that would mean we can’t change anything. And that might mean she’s dead and she can’t be. She can’t be! Because … b-because…” That would mean it’s my fault. The words stuck in my throat, serrating my last strands of control. I buried my face in my hands, the only thing I could think to do to at least try and hide the sobs that unexpectedly overwhelmed me. I’d seen the monster diving toward Halvor. Surely he was gone. No one could have survived that. He’d only been a part of my life a short while, but I’d come to care for him—even though he hadn’t reciprocated the depth of my feelings. The thought of his death ripped through me. And Inara would have been next. Raidyn was wrong about knowing. He was wrong.
There was no way my sister would have been able to fight off that rakasa by herself, trapped in the Hall of Miracles. Not unless a true miracle had occurred. Unless …
Unless her power to heal herself was strong enough to keep her from dying.
I inhaled sharply and let my hands drop. Raidyn had folded his arms across his chest, watching me with hooded eyes, but Sharmaine had stepped closer. Her hand hung in the air as though I’d caught her mid-attempt to pat me on the shoulder.
“As long as you’re breathing, there’s always hope,” I repeated with a hesitant smile, despite my tear-streaked face.
Raidyn lifted one eyebrow, baffled at my sudden change of countenance.
“I have to talk to the council right away. Can you help me do that?”
“Um…” Sharmaine glanced over her shoulder to Raidyn.
“We can try,” he offered. “But”—he continued before I could thank him—“even if we are able to get them to convene, though you will surely find some allies there, you had best be prepared for the fact that some of them won’t be thrilled that you’re here.”
“It doesn’t matter. I can convince them. I’m sure of it. I have to.”
Because Raidyn and his mother were right—there was always hope. There had to be. It was the only way I could continue on—the only way I could find the courage and strength to face a grandmother who didn’t want me, a council of Paladin who held my future in their hands, and a world full of monsters and men with more power in their eyes than my entire body.
If my sister had enough power to open a gateway my father hadn’t been able to get back through for fifteen years just by touching it, surely she had the power to heal herself from a rakasa attack.
And I wouldn’t stop until I made it back to her.