I was extremely grateful for everything that Kirsten and Tim Sanderson did for me financially and I never took it for granted, but I didn’t need a private education, holidays abroad and a wardrobe full of designer clothes to make me happy. What I needed was stability and people who genuinely cared about me and I was very fortunate because they also gave me that. And they gave me a big sister.
Leanne was beautiful and, as far as I could see, it was on the inside as well as the outside. She exuded confidence and she taught me to believe in myself. That’s the one thing I will always remain glad about because she turned a mouse of a girl into a self-assured woman and that strength of character has always remained with me.
Always immaculately turned-out, Leanne made me her pet project. She taught me how to tame my frizzy curls into sleek waves, how to apply make-up and how to shave/wax/pluck. Over the years, we must have spent a phenomenal number of hours sitting at her dressing table or mine, preening ourselves. She regularly took me shopping, educating me in different designer labels and how to accessorise. I eagerly lapped it all up although it wasn’t because I was interested in handbags or shoes – it was because I loved spending time with Leanne and those were the things she seemed to enjoy.
Thankfully our relationship wasn’t only about vanity. She occasionally took me to the cinema, the theatre or museums. Considering there was a seven-year age difference and she was therefore in a very different place to me physically and emotionally when I arrived on the scene, Leanne was exceptionally generous with her time.
From the moment I moved in, Leanne had a constant swarm of devoted male followers round her, some of whom she introduced as gay friends, others as hetero friends. She always had a boyfriend in tow too and they were without exception gorgeous and rich, and usually much older than her. As far as I could tell, she never had her heart broken, always being the one to end the relationship.
When I was sixteen, I returned to The Larches after my final school exam, expecting the house to be empty because Tim and Kirsten were at work. I was therefore surprised to find Leanne there, pacing up and down in the lounge. She was still officially living at home but spent most evenings staying over with her boyfriend or friends.
I’d barely removed my school blazer before she told me she had a congratulations-on-finishing-your-exams gift for me, which she knew I was going to love. I remember looking round the room expectantly, but there were no gift bags or boxes.
‘It’s in your bedroom,’ she squealed, grabbing my hand and running upstairs with me.
I had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind. Perhaps she’d had my room redecorated, or she’d bought me some new clothes. Pausing outside my bedroom door, she insisted on blindfolding me with a furry sleeping mask – essential for maximum impact. Then she opened the door, led me to the bed, and told me to put my hands out and touch my gift.
I did as instructed and screamed as I touched something warm. Shoving the mask away from my eyes, I screamed again. There was a man lying on my bed. A very gorgeous but very shirtless man.
‘Hi, Tamara,’ he said, flashing me a sexy smile. ‘I’m Isaac.’
‘Hi,’ I muttered, backing away. I looked at Leanne, waiting for the punchline on a joke I didn’t understand. Why was there a half-naked man lying on my bed?
She walked round to the other side of the bed, kneeled on it and ruffled his hair. ‘Isaac’s twenty-eight and he works out which I think is pretty obvious. He’s an actor and he’s just secured an amazing role. Your boyfriend.’
‘This is some sort of joke?’
She raised one perfectly drawn eyebrow at me. ‘Do you see anyone laughing?’
‘Then I don’t understand.’
‘What’s there to understand, baby sister?’ she purred. ‘There’s a half-naked man on your bed and he’s going to play the part of your devoted boyfriend and teach you a few things that I can’t.’
My heart started racing and I hardly dared ask the question. ‘What sort of things?’
‘All sorts of amazing, exciting things. But he’ll start with the basics. Like how to kiss, because I know you’ve got no experience in that yet, have you?’
Colour flooded my cheeks. That was private stuff. And it wasn’t my fault. I’d been to an all-girls private school and I didn’t have any friends. I wasn’t bullied, but everyone knew I was a foster child and ‘not one of us’ so they avoided me and, if I’m honest, I avoided them too. I put my head down and I studied hard. There were occasional social gatherings with a local boys’ school, but I gave them a wide berth. When a school full of girls made me feel invisible, why would I want to add a school full of boys into the mix? So, at age sixteen, I’d never even kissed a boy.
My gut reaction was to turn and run but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a joke that I didn’t understand and that I’d look like an idiot if I fled.
‘Excuse us a moment, Isaac.’ Leanne ruffled his hair again, then returned to me, put her arm round my shoulders and led me onto the landing, closing my bedroom door behind her.
‘I thought you’d like my present,’ she said, her tone dripping with hurt. ‘Don’t you think he’s gorgeous?’
‘He is, but—’
‘But what? You want to get married and have children one day, yes?’
‘Yes, hopefully.’
‘And you’ve had how many boyfriends so far?’
‘None.’
‘And you’ve kissed how many boys?’
‘None.’
‘Oh dear,’ she said, dragging out the words for emphasis. ‘The thing is, kissing is very important in any relationship. If that’s not working, the relationship isn’t going to work. Imagine you meet the man of your dreams. You go on this amazing date and he leans in to give you a kiss goodnight, but you don’t know what you’re doing so it ends up being all awkward and slobbery. Do you think he’s going to ask you on another date?’
I didn’t like her patronising tone but she had a point. ‘Probably not.’
‘Definitely not. So that gorgeous beast of a man is your temporary boyfriend – or playmate as I like to think of him – and he’s going to teach you all about kissing. And perhaps build up to a few other things. But no sex. He knows that’s strictly off limits. A little kissing can’t do any harm, though, can it?’
I wasn’t sure. It was all new to me.
‘Can it?’ she prompted, poking me in the ribs.
‘I suppose not,’ I muttered.
‘You could sound a bit more grateful.’
‘I am. I think. It’s just that, when you said you’d got me a gift, this isn’t quite what I was expecting.’
‘Giving you what you expect would be boring. Life should be full of the unexpected. Life should be full of Isaacs. So are you ready to go back into your bedroom and play with your gift?’
My cheeks flushed again. ‘I’ll speak to him.’
‘You’ll do more than that.’
‘Maybe one kiss?’
She rolled her eyes at me then smiled and pulled me into a hug. ‘You’ll love it. I promise. Just relax and consider it the next part of your education. Your exams are finished and now you’re learning a far more important lesson. You’re learning about life.’
Opening my bedroom door, I looked towards Isaac lying propped up on his arm, a gentle smile on his lips. An hour or so being taught how to kiss by a man who looked like he’d stepped out of a Hugo Boss advert was not going to be a great hardship. I looked up at Leanne. ‘Can he put his shirt back on?’
‘Of course he can.’ She clicked her fingers at him, making me wince. ‘Shirt. Now.’
He did as he was told.
‘Would you mind sitting on the edge of the bed instead of lying on it?’ I asked him.
Obediently, Isaac adjusted position and gave me a dazzling smile.
Butterflies going crazy in my stomach, I swallowed hard, licked my dry lips and shuffled towards the bed, absolutely terrified.
‘Tell you what,’ Isaac said, standing up. ‘How about we pretend we’ve just been on a date? We’ve been to see a romantic film and I’ve walked you home. It’s been a brilliant evening and I’m about to kiss you goodnight.’
‘Okay.’
I looked up into his dark eyes. ‘Close your eyes,’ he whispered, ‘and tilt your head back slightly. Relax your mouth.’
Then, for the first time ever, I felt a man’s lips touch against mine.
‘That was just a gentle peck on the lips,’ Isaac said, ‘but now I’m going to kiss you properly. I want you to try and copy what I’m doing.’
‘Are you going to put your tongue in my mouth?’ I’d seen that on films and overheard girls at school talking about it. The very idea of someone else’s tongue in my mouth was repulsive.
‘Not this time,’ he said. ‘We’ll build up to that.’
Clearly satisfied that I was taking my education seriously, Leanne left us to it before we kissed again. I definitely relaxed more, knowing we weren’t being watched. It never entered my head that she was filming me. Why would it? I trusted Leanne and never in a million years would I have expected her to be so manipulative and devious. Maybe if I’d not been the invisible foster kid at school, I’d have known that having a ‘playmate’ wasn’t normal, but I had no idea. No idea at all.
After the initial awkwardness and discomfort, I started to enjoy my congratulations-on-finishing-your-exams gift. I started to enjoy it very, very much. Over the next six months or so, my ‘education’ with Isaac continued. We never went out together and he never came round when Kirsten and Tim were home. Roughly fortnightly, when The Larches was empty, Leanne would arrive with Isaac and brief us both on the ‘objectives’ for the lesson.
I liked Isaac, but I didn’t fall for him. I suppose it’s hard to fall for someone when you know nothing about them. I’d always imagined the man I fell in love with would make me laugh, make me feel safe and be there for me no matter what, like Dad had been there for Mum. I imagined he’d be my lighthouse. While I could appreciate Isaac’s model good looks and his toned physique, I wasn’t shallow enough to be sucked in by appearance. For me, it absolutely was all about the personality and I had no idea who the real Isaac was. Leanne had been very clear that chit-chat was an unnecessary distraction from our objectives.
The practical side of me knew that Isaac didn’t love me either but I liked the way he acted like he did. If he really was an actor, he was a good one. Every touch was so tender and he was so attentive to my needs. I once asked him what was in it for him, especially when there was no sex. He laughed and said, ‘If someone offered to pay you to do this every fortnight, wouldn’t you? Beats waiting tables or pulling pints.’ Of course. Money. If it wasn’t about sex, it had to be about money. If Leanne was paying him, I suspected she was paying him well.
In the New Year, Leanne announced that Isaac wouldn’t be returning and introduced me to Dominic – yet another mature, toned, gorgeous man. My relationship with Isaac had been strictly clothes-on, or at least on my part. He’d taken his shirt off several times and I had to admit that it did feel good running my hand over his chest or down his bare back. Leanne made it clear that Dominic was going to take me to the next level but, again, no sex. My ‘objective’ was to learn how my body responded and reacted.
I was in my second term at catering college by then and working several evenings in Vanilla Pod so I didn’t see Dominic as often as I’d seen Isaac. He was my ‘playmate’ for well over a year before I received my eighteenth birthday present – Mattia. My ‘objective’ for my time with Mattia was to learn what I needed to do to please a man.
Leanne continued to educate me in her own way. She’d often remind me that my ‘playmates’ were our little secret and I must never let her parents know. Alarm bells probably should have sounded but they didn’t. Having a secret with my big sister made me feel really special. She’d eagerly lap up all the details about progress in my lessons and paint this beautiful image of the future where I’d meet the man of my dreams and have such a perfect life with him because I knew how to please him and knew how he could please me. I idolised my big sister so much that I never questioned any part of it. Since becoming part of her family, everything Leanne had done with me or for me had seemed to be in my best interests so there was no reason to believe that my ‘playmates’ weren’t a continuation of that care and attention.
Turns out it was all about preparing me for Garth. Everything had been about him, from Leanne teaching me how to look and dress to everything my ‘playmates’ taught me to the rosy picture of how my happy future could look. Everything. I hadn’t a clue that my big sister was grooming me. Perhaps not in the true sense of the word but my ‘education’ was for one purpose and one purpose only – to prepare me for becoming Garth’s wife.
Leanne always emphasised that my ‘playmates’ weren’t proper boyfriends so I should never romanticise them like that. They were teachers and I was to embrace the lessons, but if she or they got the slightest inkling that I’d developed romantic inclinations, they’d be replaced. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to all three of them and I’d be lying even more if I said I didn’t enjoy my lessons because I did. If school had been that much fun, I’d have achieved top grades in every subject. With hindsight, I suppose the pleasure element was another reason why I never questioned the set-up. Nobody was getting hurt, I was learning, I was enjoying learning, and there were plans in place to protect me if I got too involved. What was there to complain about?
At Christmas, Leanne bought me the most stunning deep-blue evening dress. It had a fitted bodice with dropped straps resting above the elbows and a full-length flowing skirt with a split to the top of the left leg. Accompanying it were high strappy blue sandals and a matching clutch bag. Kirsten and Tim insisted I try it on and they hugged each other when I appeared at the top of the grand staircase. Kirsten shook her head, her eyes sparkling. ‘Our little girl is a grown woman now,’ she said. ‘You are an absolute vision in that.’
I was a little shocked when I saw myself in the mirror. I’d never worn anything quite so grown up. My classmates had likely worn gowns like it at the graduation ball but I hadn’t attended, so an evening dress like that was a first for me.
‘When will I wear it?’ I asked.
Leanne smiled at me. ‘Mum and Dad are letting us host a party here on New Year’s Eve while they’re away. The dress code is black tie and all eyes are going to be on you in that dress, my beautiful baby sister.’
When we had some time alone later that evening, Leanne sidled up to me on the sofa. ‘If you love the dress, you’ll be beside yourself when you see your main present on New Year’s Eve.’
‘A new “playmate”?’ I whispered, already feeling excited at the prospect.
‘A million times better than that,’ she said, squeezing my hand. ‘You’re going to love me forever.’
After Christmas, Tim whisked Kirsten away to Jamaica. Although Leanne had moved out by this point and was living with her boyfriend, Darryl, she moved back in to keep an eye on me and to prepare for the party. I’d once asked her if Darryl knew about my playmates but she swore he didn’t and I had no reason not to believe her.
On the morning of New Year’s Eve, Leanne burst into my bedroom and plonked herself down on the edge of my bed. ‘Good morning, sleepyhead. Tonight’s the night,’ she gushed.
I rubbed my eyes. ‘For the party?’
‘And for your gift. You can’t have it until tonight but do you want to know what it is?’
I wriggled into a seated position. ‘Yes, please.’
‘It’s a real boyfriend. One you can tell people about. One you can go out on real dates with.’
‘You’ve picked me a boyfriend?’ I tried to keep my voice steady, not sure whether to be grateful or insulted that she’d not consulted me. Between long hours at work, family time, and my ‘playmates’, I’d never had any free time to properly date and I’d have liked the chance to pick my own boyfriend.
‘Thank you, Leanne,’ she snapped. ‘That’s so good of you, Leanne.’
‘Please don’t be like that,’ I said. ‘It was just a surprise. I assumed you and I would maybe go out to a bar together and I’d meet someone that way.’
‘Aw, Tamara, you are so sweet and innocent,’ she said, gently pushing a curl away from my eyes. ‘It doesn’t work like that. Men who pick up girls in bars are only after one thing and we have not spent the last two and a half years investing in your education only to have you jump into bed with the first man who buys you a drink.’ She stood up and wandered over to my window, sweeping open the curtains. ‘The man you’re going to meet tonight has been handpicked for you by me and I know you’re going to fall in love with him instantly because he’s everything you’ve told me you’ve always dreamed of.’
She returned to the bed and sat down again.
‘What’s his name?’ I asked, my interest definitely piqued.
‘His name’s Garth Tewkesbury. He’s a detective in the Met and on his way to his next big promotion.’
‘Wow! So how old is he?’
‘Forty.’
My eyes widened. ‘Forty? That’s more than twice my age.’
‘So? Why would you waste time with a boy when you can have a man? Believe me, boys are stupid and pointless. Think about the staff at Vanilla Pod in their early twenties. They’re all idiots who spend their time out of work being loud and drunk, aren’t they? And the ones in their late twenties. And probably the ones in their thirties too.’
She was right. I’d overheard so many conversations at the end of the shift about drunk nights out or their latest conquests and it all sounded so unappealing.
‘Tell me more about Garth,’ I said, settling back against my pillow.
I was so nervous getting ready for the party that my hands were actually shaking. Leanne had to take over and do my make-up for me. All day she’d extolled Garth’s virtues and her enthusiasm for him was infectious. Back then, I was the eternal optimist. For me, if my big sister said she’d picked out the man of my dreams, then she’d done exactly that.
Although I’d been quickly reassured that the age difference wasn’t a problem for me, it struck me that it could be for someone else.
‘Do you think your parents will mind the age gap?’ I asked Leanne as she styled my hair.
‘If it was a random forty-year-old, perhaps. But Garth is family.’
I twisted round to face her. ‘He’s what?’ Garth Tewkesbury? The name didn’t ring any bells and I thought I’d met everyone in the Sanderson family over the years.
‘Turn back round so I can finish your hair.’
Doing as instructed, I waited eagerly for her explanation.
‘You know my Uncle Rick?’
‘Yes.’ He was Tim’s much older brother but they weren’t particularly close. He lived in the USA and I’d only met him once at a family wedding.
‘Uncle Rick is Garth’s dad. Garth’s parents split up when he was a toddler and it was a nasty divorce. His mum moved away from London taking Garth with her. She completely cut off our side of the family and changed their names so nobody could find them. Garth and I have known each other for years but obviously the name meant nothing to me. It was only when I was telling him about you that we started talking more about families and then discovered we were related.’
‘Oh my God! Small world! Do your parents know about him yet?’
‘Not yet.’ She shrugged. ‘I toyed with telling them but I didn’t want some big family reunion to get in the way of you meeting him. I’m so convinced he’s the one for you that, right here and now, I’ll say I reckon the two of you will get married.’
‘You really think so?’ Even though I’d been a little miffed that Leanne hadn’t consulted me, my ‘playmates’ had been good matches. Could she have nailed it for a future husband? The idea excited, thrilled and terrified me in equal measures.
‘I’m certain of it. So I’ve made a happy ever after for you and Garth my priority. Mum and Dad will understand.’
She beamed at me in the mirror and excitable butterflies swarmed in my stomach. It was going to be the best New Year’s Eve ever.
‘He’s here,’ Leanne whispered, slipping her hand into mine later that evening. The party was in full swing, the music barely audible above the volume of chatter, laughter, and the clink of glasses. Waiting staff circulated the ground floor of The Larches with silver trays of champagne and canapés and, for the past ten minutes, I’d managed to calm my nerves by watching the bar acrobatics of a pair of mixologists making cocktails. But now the nerves were back.
Leanne squeezed my hand. ‘Stay calm. Deep breaths.’
‘Where is he?’
‘He’s speaking to Darryl near the door. You’ll need to turn round but do it slowly, casually.’
I did as instructed, heart thumping, searching for Leanne’s boyfriend and my first glimpse of the man who my sister was convinced I would marry. Oh. My. God.
‘What do you think?’ she whispered. ‘Did I pick well or did I pick well?’
She’d picked well. Garth Tewkesbury was everything I’d ever dreamed of and so much more. Six feet four with an athletic-build, dark hair and chiselled cheekbones, he was a better-looking blend of my three ‘playmates’, maturity adding to the appeal.
‘Gorgeous,’ I whispered back.
At that moment, he turned towards us and gave me such a warm and tender smile that my heart melted. I’d half-expected a knowing grin fuelled by an assumption that he’d already won me over but, instead, he looked genuinely thrilled to see me and that smile absolutely did it for me.
He said something to Darryl who nodded, then they both made their way towards Leanne and me.
‘Be cool,’ she whispered, giving my hand another squeeze before releasing it. ‘Remember everything I’ve taught you.’
As he came closer, I was mesmerised by his piercing blue eyes. He reminded me a lot of a young Mel Gibson. But looks to die for weren’t everything and there was no way I’d fall for him unless he had a personality to die for too, no matter how strongly my body was reacting to him.
He kissed Leanne on each cheek and complimented her on her gown before turning to face me.
‘This is my sister, Tamara,’ she announced proudly. ‘Beautiful, isn’t she?’
He seemed to drink me in and I realised I was holding my breath, desperate to hear his verdict. Close up, Garth was by far the most attractive man I’d ever seen in real life. Which had to mean that there was a mistake somewhere. Leanne might be right about him being the man of my dreams, but there was no way I could be the woman of his dreams when he could surely have his pick of stunning women.
‘She certainly is,’ he said, raising my hand to his mouth and gently kissing it, while his eyes never left mine. ‘I can’t tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Tamara.’
Nobody had ever kissed my hand before. I felt like a heroine in an Austen novel, being wooed by an English gent. I had to fight hard not to ruin it all by giggling childishly, fluttering my eyelashes and saying something stupid.
I took a deep breath and turned on what I hoped was a confident and self-assured smile. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Garth.’
Leanne and Darryl made their excuses and moved away, leaving us alone. Garth selected two flutes of champagne from a passing waitress.
‘To the New Year and to new beginnings,’ he suggested, clinking his glass against mine.
I repeated the toast and took a dainty sip, even though I really wanted to gulp it down for courage.
‘Leanne tells me you have a talent for baking and that your brownies are the best she’s ever tasted.’
‘Brownies were one of my dad’s specialities,’ I said. ‘We often made them together when I was little and we loved to experiment with flavours, although not always with great success such as…’ I tailed off, hearing Leanne’s voice in my head telling me not to witter if I got nervous.
Garth didn’t seem to mind. He steered me towards a couple of high-backed chairs that had just become free. ‘What was your biggest disaster?’
‘Banana and custard.’
He laughed. ‘I love banana and custard and I love brownies but together…?’
‘Exactly. Never try it.’
He leaned in closer, his leg resting against mine, his eyes twinkling. ‘Tell me more about your dad…’
It seemed he had a personality to die for too. For the next hour, he remained completely focused on me, asking me about my real parents and sharing the challenges he’d had being brought up by a mother who hated his father so much that she told Garth he was dead.
He made me feel as though I was the only person in the room, as though everything I said was the most interesting or funniest thing he’d ever heard. People kept passing us and saying hello and he’d smile politely but never lose focus from our conversation. Best of all, he made me laugh. Not flirty showing-off laughter, but proper belly laughter.
He apologised that he was going to have to circulate for a while but would join me again before midnight. As he moved round the room, laughing and chatting, he repeatedly caught my eye and smiled, making my heart flutter. It was hard to remain focused on my conversations with any of the other guests when all I could think about was midnight and being with Garth once more.
At 11.30 p.m., he returned to me and asked if there was somewhere quiet we could go. ‘This party is superb but it’s loud and chaotic. If it’s okay with you, I’d really like to kiss you at midnight and I’d like that moment to be as special and beautiful as the person I’d be kissing.’
And that’s how we ended up on the roof terrace outside Kirsten and Tim’s bedroom with fireworks exploding round us and inside me as Garth gave me that life-changing heart-melting wonderful first kiss.
And that’s the evening I fell head over heels in love with the man my sister had hand-picked for me who seemed to be a match for me in every possible way. The man who asked me about my past and cared about my memories. The man who encouraged me to talk about my passion for baking and crafting. The man who made me laugh. Of course, I realised later that he knew exactly how to make me laugh and he knew exactly how to make me fall in love with him because Leanne had told him everything there was to know about me. She’d told him which emotional buttons to press. Just like my ‘playmates’, everything Garth said and did that night – and beyond – was an act.
We started dating. Proper old-fashioned dates where he’d turn up in a suit and I’d wear a pretty dress. We both had work and our hours clashed so we only had Tuesday evenings and Sunday afternoons together. He’d take me out for a meal or to the theatre on the Tuesday, with Sundays being a walk, a museum or a boat trip. He was as attentive as ever and always a perfect gentleman.
Kirsten and Tim were stunned to discover that I was dating their nephew. They insisted on having him over for dinner as soon as possible, eager to be reacquainted. They weren’t keen on the age gap, but he was part of their family, Leanne vouched for him and, perhaps unsurprisingly, he charmed the pants off them and allayed any worries.
Every date with Garth felt like a first date, wondering when he would hold my hand and, even better, when I’d be able to melt into one of those incredible kisses again. It really was the dream relationship, the only downside being that I’d have liked to have seen him a lot more often than I did.
He whisked me away to Paris for New Year two years after we met and proposed to me on New Year’s Eve at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I was twenty and he was forty-two. We immediately set the date for New Year’s Eve the following year and I couldn’t wait to become Garth’s wife.
Slumping back in my chair at the back of The Chocolate Pot, I looked at Carly and shook my head. ‘I should have realised that nothing and nobody is that perfect. I should have realised that real relationships aren’t packed with back-to-back movie-perfect moments. But I didn’t. I was so naïve.’
‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Carly said. ‘I don’t think any relationship is perfect all the time but there are plenty that are pretty close so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to have believed everything he said and did.’
‘You’re not just saying that?’
She shook her head. ‘You said the marriage didn’t last long…?’
‘Just over four months and then…’ I started shaking. ‘And then I discovered it had all been a lie.’
‘You weren’t really married?’
‘No. I was properly, legally married but that was about the only real thing about it. I found out that Leanne and Garth…’
I closed my eyes and tried to find the strength to go on. My palms were sweating and my head was thumping.
‘You don’t look so good,’ Carly said. ‘Do you want some water?’
I opened my eyes and slowly shook my head. ‘I’m sorry to do this again. I thought I could tell you the rest but I’m going to have to stop there for now.’
‘You look drained.’
‘I feel it. It was hard re-living it. I know you probably have a million questions but—’
‘It’s your story to tell in your own time,’ she reassured me. ‘I can tell how painful it is.’ She stood up and hugged me tightly. ‘I think you’re amazing, for what you’ve been through and for facing up to it now.’
‘I don’t feel very amazing. I feel like an idiot for letting them manipulate me and lie to me.’
‘Was he seeing Leanne too?’ she asked, pulling her coat on. ‘Is that what happened?’
I sighed and nodded. ‘Something like that.’
As I let Carly out, I shuddered. Something like that? If only it had been that simple.