I felt ridiculously nervous as I waited in the café shortly before 7 p.m. I’d dressed carefully again, pulling on pale ripped jeans, a plain lemon T-shirt and a thick cable-knit grey cardigan, with my hair tumbling in loose waves over my shoulders.
My heart raced as the door to Yorkshire’s Best opened and Jed stepped out onto the cobbles clutching a bottle of wine.
‘Very punctual,’ I said, opening the door. ‘I’m impressed.’
‘The traffic was horrendous,’ he joked, placing the wine on the countertop. ‘It was touch and go as to whether I’d make it on time.’
As soon as I’d locked the door behind him, he took me in his arms and kissed me again, his hands running through my hair. Desire flowed through me and I imagined unbuttoning his shirt and… I reluctantly pulled away. This was meant to be going slowly and my thoughts had been anything but slow.
‘Can you still picture how it was before?’ I asked as we made our way up the stairs.
‘Dark and poky. I remember stud walls everywhere creating all these tiny rooms. It was pretty grim actually. We only ever used it for storage but I used to look up at that amazing arched window and imagine how it could be if it was open plan instead, perhaps with a mezzanine.’
I smiled to myself. He was about to find out.
Taking a deep breath at the top, I opened the door. Hercules was waiting for us, twitching his nose. I scooped him up. ‘This is Jed, Hercules. Are you going to say hello?’
‘He’s gorgeous.’ Jed stroked his ears. ‘I’ve never painted a rabbit before. I think he might have to become my first.’
‘We’d love that, wouldn’t we, Hercules?’ As I stroked his back, my fingertips met Jed’s and I felt a zip of electricity pass between us. I’d never felt that sort of intensity with Garth. He’d made my heart race, but there was something so much more powerful happening between Jed and me. It excited me yet terrified me at the same time. Could I really do this after shutting myself away from relationships for so long?
‘Ready for the big reveal?’ I asked, putting Hercules down.
We stepped forward.
‘No way!’ Jed turned from one side to the other. ‘You did exactly what I imagined.’
‘Do you like it?’
‘I love it.’
Even if he hadn’t verbalised how much he loved my flat as we moved round the different sections, I’d have known it from the sparkle in his eyes. I hadn’t realised until that moment how much I wanted his approval.
After he’d had the tour, I opened the bottle of wine he’d brought with him and we stood in the lounge, each with a glass in our hands, looking at Jed’s painting of the lighthouse which had pride of place on the wall opposite the sofa.
‘You know what’s weird?’ he said. ‘I’ve never actually seen one of my paintings in someone else’s home.’
‘Really?’
He nodded. ‘Customers have sent me photos but I’ve never seen one in the wild, as it were. Seeing it up on your wall right now, it feels like it was always destined to be here, as though I painted it just for you.’
‘I can’t help thinking you did, even though you didn’t realise it. The lone sheep, the lighthouse at night, the daisies, the inscription. Seriously, Jed, it couldn’t be more perfect for me.’
We sat down on the sofa, still gazing at the painting.
‘I was so upset when I thought it had been sold. I kicked myself so much for not buying it immediately.’
‘What stopped you?’ he asked.
‘Something really stupid. I thought you might ask me why the picture spoke to me and it was too personal to share.’
‘And how do you feel now that I know?’
‘Still absolutely terrified but the hardest part is done. You know why I built that wall round me and yet you’re still here. My shipping container full of emotional baggage hasn’t scared you away.’
Jed reached forward and took my wine from my hand and placed it next to his on the coffee table. He twisted round to face me and took both of my hands in his. ‘Nothing you say could scare me away. If anything, it makes me feel closer to you. We’ve both been badly hurt by the people we loved and should have been able to trust. It is hard to take that chance again but I understand that about you and you understand it about me. I think I might have a great big shipping container full of emotional baggage parked right next to yours but I think we can help each other deal with that and come out stronger together. If you want to, that is.’
I picked up our wine glasses again, handed Jed his, and clinked mine against it. ‘To dealing with the crap life’s thrown at us and making it out the other side.’
‘To letting people in,’ he said.
‘In a year of trying to open up and let people in, I never expected that one of those people would be you. You were definitely not one of my favourite people at the start of the year and I don’t think you were in my fan club either but look at us now. What changed for you?’
Jed smiled. ‘I saw you. Really saw you. That day on the cobbles, when you were looking at the sky, something in me completely shifted. Then when I saw you outside the Pavilion, thumping that wall…’
I grimaced. ‘No! You saw that?’
‘I did, but what I saw was the same sort of pain and anguish I’d been through. I didn’t know what had happened to you but I understood and I wanted to be the one to take the hurt away. I wasn’t sure whether you’d want me to, though.’
‘Is that why you painted the second picture?’
He nodded. ‘It was my little fantasy of me being your hero but you being mine too. That’s why I couldn’t show it to you on Tuesday night.’
‘You said it was unfinished.’
‘I said it wasn’t ready. The painting was complete but I thought it would be too much. After that email, I didn’t think you were interested in me and I thought that it would scare you off completely.’
‘That’s why you were vague about whether you’d ever show me it. You said it wasn’t working out as you’d hoped. You meant with me rather than the painting.’
‘Busted.’
‘What about now? Things working out how you’d hoped?’
‘Better than I’d hoped.’ He smiled at me tenderly. ‘What about you? When did you stop thinking of me as an “arrogant con artist”?’
Cringing, I lowered my head. ‘Can you please forget I ever said that? Although that’s actually the point when things changed. When I discovered that you didn’t know about the extra money or the roof, some of the reasons I’d hated you no longer existed and I started to see you. Then I saw your paintings and I felt like I understood you too.’
Jed kissed me again and that zip of electricity I’d felt earlier made every nerve-ending fizz. We put our drinks down and kissed once more.
‘I know you’re scared but I promise you we can take things as slowly as you want.’ He stroked my hair as I snuggled against this chest. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
And I believed him. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest and listening to the steady thump of his heart, I had never felt so relaxed or safe. I’d never have predicted that when he returned from Australia.