Thursday morning dawned mild and bright. The blue skies and sunshine acted like a magnet, drawing hordes of Christmas shoppers into Whitsborough Bay. From about 10 a.m., The Chocolate Pot was packed. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a queue before noon on a weekday. Laugher and excitable chatter bounced off the walls and there was the constant aroma of coffee, pastries and chocolate hanging in the air.
Mum had originally suggested driving over to the café for lunch but I persuaded them to come for afternoon tea instead which was just as well because lunchtime was so busy that I’d have barely been able to give them the time of day.
It was still busy as we approached mid-afternoon with only a couple of spare tables, but the lack of queue gave us some breathing space. Leaning against the counter, I absorbed the happy pre-Christmas buzz. This year, I didn’t need to dread Christmas. This year things were going to be very different.
At the cottage on Tuesday, Mum had asked if I had plans for Christmas Day. My heart leapt at the thought of a good old-fashioned family Christmas dinner, then sank when I realised I did have plans. Months earlier, I’d volunteered to help cook Christmas dinner at The Hope Centre. I certainly wasn’t going to let them down now that I had other options. Mum and Dad weren’t fazed, saying there were plenty more hours in the day to meet up when I finished volunteering.
Leaning on the counter, thinking about having somewhere to go and people to see when I finished my shift at The Hope Centre made me quite tearful. I was wiping my eyes when Mum and Dad arrived for afternoon tea.
‘Tara! What’s happened?’ Mum asked, a look of panic on her face.
I smiled and shook my head. ‘Nothing bad. Just thinking about not being alone on Christmas Day for the first time since I left home and it’s made me a bit emotional.’
‘Oh, honey. I can’t bear to think of you spending all those years on your own. We’ll make it really special this year.’
I came round from behind the counter and hugged them both.
‘How hungry are you?’ I asked.
‘Starving,’ Dad said. ‘We had brunch rather than lunch as we wanted to keep plenty of space for afternoon tea.’
‘Food first then and a tour afterwards?’ I suggested.
‘Sounds lovely,’ Mum said. She looked round her. ‘I can’t wait to explore but first impressions are wonderful. I could not be prouder of you and everything you’ve achieved.’
‘Stop it! You’ll set me off again.’
By the time they finished eating, the café had thinned out and the first floor was closed off and cleaned. I pulled aside the rope so I could show my parents upstairs.
‘I love it so much,’ Mum said, sitting down at one of the first floor tables. ‘It exudes such warmth, don’t you think, Tim?’
Dad had wandered over to the windows and was looking up and down the street. ‘I completely agree. And this street is just perfect. I love the fairy lights strung between the buildings. Come and have a look, Kirsten.’
‘I’ll look in a minute.’ She was smiling but I suspected that fatigue had taken over again. They’d arrived with several shopping bags so had clearly wandered round town first and it had likely taken its toll.
‘Tell you what,’ I said. ‘Why don’t we go up to the flat? It means a couple of flights of stairs but there’s an amazing view from up there and then you can relax and maybe even both have a nap while I finish off in the café.’
‘Great idea,’ Dad said, smiling at me, his eyes conveying his gratitude.
‘Two flights of stairs?’ Kirsten gave an exaggerated groan. ‘I think the only thing that could persuade me to tackle that would be knowing there’s a giant house rabbit waiting for me at the top, desperate for cuddles.’
‘What a coincidence,’ I said, smiling. ‘Come on. I’ll get you both settled.’
‘Your parents are lovely,’ Molly said after I returned downstairs.
‘Thank you.’
‘Is the rift with your sister all sorted out now?’ She grimaced. ‘Sorry. Was that too nosy?
I smiled reassuringly. ‘No, it wasn’t too nosy. It’s nice that you remembered. And, no, it’s not sorted and never will be. For lots of long, complicated reasons, my foster sister is no longer in their lives which means I can be.’
‘That’s good. Not for the foster sister, obviously, but it’s good for you. It’s sad when families lose touch.’
‘Still no word from your dad?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m actually not bothered about him. He was no help with my brother and he cheated on my mum so it’s no great loss. I do miss my grandma, though. He told her she had to choose between him and us. He’s her son so what could she do?’
‘Aw, Molly. I’m sorry to hear that. Doesn’t sound very fair on any of you.’
‘It isn’t but I can either get upset and mope about it or I can accept it and move on. Now that he’s out of our lives, I’m closer than ever to my mum and brother who are great, I’ve got Nathan…’ She smiled dreamily as she said his name. ‘And it’s twelve more sleeps till Christmas. Happy days.’
A regular appeared to order a takeaway latte so we couldn’t continue the conversation. Watching Molly chatting easily to the customer, I found myself smiling at her Pollyanna approach to life. Reconnecting with my parents and starting a relationship with Jed had been giant steps in putting my past behind me. I needed to focus on enjoying the here and now with him and let the future unfold in its own sweet way instead of worrying about the balance in our relationship. It hadn’t even been a week and it just happened that I’d had the first scenario requiring support. I might have the second one too but, at some point down the line, Jed would need me and I could be the strong one for him. As Mum said, I should stop creating problems that didn’t exist. Or at least try to stop.
My team had left for the day and I was working my way round the café, switching off the fairy lights, when Jed knocked on the door.
‘I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight,’ I said. ‘What happened to the college thing with Lucy?’
‘She got a better offer. A friend of hers invited her for a sleepover so college and I have been ditched. Which meant I was free to come over and do this.’
He bent over and tenderly kissed me. Closing my eyes, I melted against him. Yes, I definitely needed to enjoy the here and now because moments like that with Jed were worth savouring.
‘Did your parents like the café?’ he asked.
‘They’re upstairs if you’d like to ask them yourself. Or is that too scary and too soon? I know they’re keen to meet you.’
Jed smiled. ‘I’d love to meet them and it’s not scary at all.’
I asked him to wait outside the door to the flat while I went inside. It was only fair to check whether Mum was asleep as I didn’t want to embarrass her if she was. Fortunately she’d had a nap but was now awake and very excited to meet Jed.
It couldn’t have gone better. Mum hugged Jed and Dad shook his hand. I didn’t feel at all nervous about introducing him and I didn’t think it was just because it was spontaneous and I hadn’t had time to build the nerves; it was simply because it all felt so right. It was so different to when they’d met Garth. Back then, I’d been anxious about my age, his age and how they’d feel about him being a long-lost family member. Watching them so animated and relaxed in Jed’s presence, it was obvious that any warmth shown towards Garth had been about supporting me and my decisions instead of them wholeheartedly advocating the relationship.
At about seven, Dad announced that it was time to head back to the cottage. I was about to protest that they should join us for a takeaway but I could see that Mum was flagging again.
Leaving Jed in the flat, I walked them down the stairs and to the door.
‘He’s gorgeous,’ Mum said, taking both my hands in hers. ‘And I don’t just mean his looks. I used to worry about you and Garth. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was but something wasn’t quite right and I used to tell myself it was because you were young and I was being overprotective. Jed couldn’t be more different and I know I’ll never need to worry about him hurting my little girl.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’
I hugged her then Dad.
He picked up an armful of carrier bags. ‘If you don’t have any plans for Sunday, we’d love it if you could both join us for lunch or dinner. I was going to say so upstairs but I thought we’d better check with you first.’
‘Thank you. It’s a definite yes from me but I’ll have to come back to you on Jed. He’s driving up to Newcastle on Saturday to collect Erin from university so they might want some family time on Sunday.’
I waved them off then then made a couple of drinks.
Back in the lounge, I placed the mugs on the coffee table, smiling at Jed who had Hercules sprawled across his knee like a dog. ‘I made you a chilli chocolate but don’t feel you have to drink it if you need to get home.’
‘There’s nobody home. Lucy’s at that sleepover and Mum and Dad are out for a meal with their friends, Peter and Joyce. I’m all yours if you want me.’
I leaned over and kissed him. ‘I do want you.’ Colour rushed to my cheeks and I bit my lip. ‘Oh, I don’t mean… I’m not ready… I’m…’
Jed took my hand and gently pulled me down onto the sofa beside him. ‘I won’t lie by pretending the thought hadn’t crossed my mind but please believe me when I say there’s no pressure on you to do anything until you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere. We can take things as quickly or as slowly as you want.’
He raised my hand to his lips and lightly kissed it. So tender.
‘Thank you for understanding,’ I said.
‘You don’t need to thank me. Just be honest with me. If you feel ready to take things further and then you want to stop, you just have to say. We won’t do anything you’re not ready to do.’
He put his arm round me I snuggled against his chest. Listening to his heart beating, I felt relaxed, safe and loved. He hadn’t said he loved me and I wasn’t sure if he’d even admitted it to himself but I certainly felt it from every look, every touch and every word. And, for the first time ever, it wasn’t an act. As for how I felt about Jed, I was in danger of falling very hard and very fast.