Issues don’t truly become personal until they are personal.
I’ll never forget my wife laboring to birth our firstborn. As she struggled in pain, I tried my husbandly best to comfort her. “It’s okay, honey. Everything will be okay,” I kept assuring her.
Finally, my kind, sweet-spoken wife, who can’t even swat a fly, looked up at me. “Well,” she growled, “everything might be okay up there, but it’s not okay down here.”
That’s when I truly realized that a baby is bigger than the birth canal.
At the time I wore a University of Arizona grad ring that I was very proud of, since I didn’t think I could ever get into the school, much less graduate. Even after our baby was born I could still see the indentation on my pinky, close to the ring finger, because Sande had squeezed my hand so hard.
That day was a good reminder that issues don’t become personal until they are personal.
In this chapter, I’ll give you an overview of three basic categories of hurts that hit home—Family, Self, and Peers—and some principles for how you can better understand and assist your child. For even more specifics on these issues, you’ll find the “Ask Dr. Leman” section helpful.