Dr How had known who it was the instant the doorbell had rung.

"Mrs Roseby, good morning," he said. "And to what do I owe this great pleasure at this early hour?"

"Don't you try sweet-talking me, Doctor How. You know very well why I'm here."

"No, really, I don't."

"You arrived back at God-alone-knows what hour last night in a scruffy-looking cab with a couple of very dodgy-looking people and woke my Albert up. And I'm concerned that this wreck of a vehicle," she gesticulated at Ware's cab, "is bringing down the neighbourhood."

Inside his pocket, Dr How's fingers curled around his Ultraknife. He made a conscious effort to let it go and bring his hand out empty. "Mrs Roseby, I have every right to arrive at my own home in whatever means of transport I choose at any time of the day or night, with whomever I choose to do so. Domestic cats are semi-nocturnal so it's only natural that Albert was awake. As for my guest's cab, it has every right to park on my property. However, if you feel it's affecting the value of your house, I'd be delighted to move it before you put it up for sale. I have to say I'm glad to hear you're considering moving into a nursing home; your niece has often expressed concern about your safety."

Doctor How had chosen to press several buttons at once. It put him in mind of pulling the lever on a one-armed bandit, and he could almost hear the words lining up in his neighbour's head as the wheels stopped spinning.

"Oh! Don't tell me that... that boy is staying with you?"

A jackpot line, bar one wheel.

"You mean my new assistant?"

Nudge.

"Assistant?"

Jackpot.

"Yes. Kevin's my new assistant."

"..."

"He's from the Tulse Hill estate."

Bonus.

"Don't tell me he's one of them illegal immigrants. I shall have the police round to arrest him if anything goes missing from my house."

"He's as British as you are, Mrs Roseby. Born and bred. Believe me, I do share your concerns about illegal aliens. More than you might care to imagine. Now that I've covered Kevin, how else may I help?"

She recovered her composure. "Well, I won't stand for having a cab service operating from these premises, Doctor How. It's quite against planning restrictions, and I shall bring down the full weight of the residents' association; not to say the council planning officers."

"You have no need for concern there, Mrs Roseby. That's my cousin's cab. His house is undergoing an unexpected refurbishment after a small accident yesterday."

"Well, I think it's in a disgraceful state and I shall be reporting it at the next meeting. And he can't be operating it from domestic premises."

"If there's nothing else I can help you with, Mrs Roseby, then I'll bid you good morning." He didn't quite slam the door in her face, and went back into the house.

"That woman was a cantankerous old bag when she was a blushing bride," said Ware from the bottom of the stairs. He was only wearing his underwear, and his unsightly pot-belly made the Doctor shudder.

"Age has not mellowed her, nor will it ever. How did you sleep?"

"Not bad. My Spectrel was in my dreams. She's insisting we get her back. Today."

"Yes, yes. It's on my ever-burgeoning to-do list. If you get Kevin up and breakfasted we can crack on. And if you can make sure you both have a shower before joining me in the basement."

"Anything else?"

"If you could remember to tell the house-bot to clean up after you, that would be much appreciated."

"And you wonder why you don't have visitors."

"No, I don't wonder. I don't have visitors because they make everything so untidy. And unclean."