GABE WOKE, cocooned in sweet-smelling sheets softer than anything they’d had at the barracks. There he’d been swaddled in regulation linens, sharing a large chamber with the other angels. But that wasn’t the first place he thought of when he opened his eyes and glanced around the strange room. He missed his attic bedroom in Jeff’s house, with the sloped ceiling and tall window that looked out over the junkyard. In such a short time, the space Jeff had given him had become home.
This room could fit in half of the attic room, just large enough for a bed and a chair tucked in the corner, though there was a window that looked out over the city. Gabe pushed the sheets off him so he could take a look and saw his own shirtless state. Shit.
Hank and Ian had brought him back here, to Ronnie’s place, after last night. He remembered them dragging him up the back entrance, Mattie shushing them all so Ronnie wouldn’t hear. Gabe let his head fall into his hands. Hank was a fucking Abraham. It made sense why he’d have to come down here to live with his lover. No Abraham should ever bow his neck to one of the lower class. Ian was a working man, but Hank had been born to privilege among one of the founding families of Heaven. Something ticked in the back of Gabe’s memory, about a scandal in the newsfeeds, but as an angel, he’d paid little attention to those things.
And now Hank and Ian knew what Gabe truly was. He snatched up the shirt on the chair, not his own—that had been shredded and left behind in the van. He’d have to take care not to ruin this one. Once covered, he pushed the door open and walked down the narrow hallway. He heard voices coming from the end.
“…which one of us is going to tell Jeff?”
“I will,” Ian responded. “It’s my responsibility.”
Gabe crept closer, not wanting to give his presence away yet. He could see around the corner into a tiny kitchenette. Mattie leaned against the wall, holding a robe closed over her chest. The garment had fallen off one shoulder, showing where gleaming golden metal met dark brown skin. He hadn’t known she was modded.
Hank knelt at his lover’s side, one hand bunched in Ian’s pants. “I’m the one who promised to show him a good time. I just didn’t think….”
Ian stroked his fingers through Hank’s blond curls, looking down at him fondly. “I don’t want Jeff taking a swing at you when he finds out.”
“Gotta protect that pretty face,” Mattie said, but didn’t smile at the jibe.
“Don’t want him hitting you either,” Hank grumbled, but leaned into the touch.
Gabe stepped forward. “Jeff isn’t hitting anyone. How many times must I say it? I am not his boy.”
All three of them exchanged looks, and then Mattie snorted into laughter, breaking the tension. Gabe leaned against the wall and allowed himself to smile. He didn’t belong to Jeff, not the way Hank belonged to Ian, but he wouldn’t say no to something more. It was time to start over—not as the man he’d been or the angel he’d become. Now he had to be just Gabe of Old Trent.
Hank pushed himself to his feet and walked toward Gabe, his face serious. “Gabe. Does Jeff know about…?” He made a flappy gesture with his hands.
“Yes,” he said. “He knows what I was.”
“But not anymore?” Ian asked.
How to explain it? Gabe would never have chosen to fall, to have his halo ripped away from him. But now that his memories were intact, he knew he could never go back to being that mindless drone.
“Never again. Now I make my own choices.”
Mattie fiddled with the collar of her robe. “Now that we’ve gotten that cleared up, let’s hit Ronnie up for some damn breakfast.”
“You don’t mind?” Gabe asked, surprised they were willing to let this go, an actual angel in their midst. While most from above looked at angels with awe, there was fear too, since they were the ones who enforced the morality laws.
“Boy, people come down here for all sorts of reasons.” She touched Ian on the shoulder as she walked past him. “I’m not gonna start judging now.”
JEFF HAD all the parts laid out on his drafting table. There was plenty more machining to do, but he figured he’d best start working out the programming. This would be pointless if he couldn’t get the tiny metal feathers to work together as one unit.
Kayla perched on her chair, watching him intently. She kept her hands far out of reach of the table, knowing from experience not to mess with any of his projects. At this point she had her own suggestions about how to put the wing together, and to his surprise, Jeff found himself implementing them.
He grinned at his daughter. “Ready to see if it’ll work?”
“It’ll work.”
“I’ll remember that you said that when it falls apart.”
Kayla laughed, and he cherished the sound.
Jeff ran his fingers over the flat panel controller. It would have been far easier to program if he could jack in, just send his thoughts directly to the processing unit of the wing—or rather, all the tiny brains in each feather, the only way he’d imagined how this would work. But Jeff had to stop thinking like that, especially with Kayla right there.
He would never jack in again. It was a promise he intended to keep.
“Dad, can I turn it on?”
Her eyes were so wide, her face so hopeful. Jeff couldn’t help the swell of pride that rose in his chest. Kayla learned so quickly; she’d be a fine mechanist. Hell, she’d surpass Jeff by the time she grew up. He handed over the panel board, wondering where his little girl had gone. This serious, assured programmer didn’t resemble her at all.
Jeff sat back, letting Kayla take control. At first the tiny feathers only vibrated, but as Kayla stroked her fingers across the panel, the metal pieces merged and fused, fluttering until they collapsed against each other in perfect formation.
“It worked!” Kayla shouted, sounding like a child but grown up enough not to jump out of her seat and disturb their work.
“Of course it did.”
“Dad.” She grinned at him.
Jeff smiled back, unable to deny her. “There is still a lot of work left to do. We don’t even know if it’ll talk to Gabe’s systems. He might not even want some cobbled-together wing.”
“Of course he does. He wants to fly.”
He marveled at her insight, but before he could reply to it, the proximity alarms went off. Jeff turned to face the screens and saw that it was Gabe, escorted by Hank and Ian. His heart thumped faster at the sight. Finally. He’d been worried after the message Ian had left saying they’d be late.
“No ruining the surprise, all right?”
Kayla put the control panel down carefully. “You will totally blurt it out. Not me.”
“We’ll see about that.” Jeff locked the workshop behind them. He might have had a little bounce in his step as they made their way to the main gate, but he attributed that to getting the wing parts working. The project was far more complicated than anything he’d attempted before, and he admitted to feeling smug at figuring it out so quickly. Gabe would be flying again in no time.
Maybe that would give him a fighting chance against the demons.
Jeff first saw Gabe through the metal wire of the gate as he climbed out of the bike’s sidecar. He still wore the leather jacket Jeff had loaned him, looking small underneath its bulk. Jeff didn’t even notice Hank and Ian, not until he’d turned off the alarm and opened the gate.
“Have a good time?” Jeff asked.
Hank looked up at Ian before blurting out, “Gabe almost got grabbed by flesh dealers. God, Jeff, I’m so sorry.”
Ian closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I thought I was going to tell him.”
Jeff stopped walking, losing the smile. “What?” He was aware of Trixie butting against him, nosing at his legs as if she knew something was wrong.
“I’m fine.” Gabe stepped forward, putting his hand on Jeff’s chest. “I’m right here.”
“What happened?” Jeff fell into intense green eyes, resisting the urge to touch Gabe, make sure he was actually there.
“Icer got him with a drug patch,” Ian said. He’d stepped in front of Hank, blocking him from Jeff’s view.
Fuck, anything could have happened to Gabe after that. A pit of ice formed in his belly. Images flashed in his mind—Gabe dead, dismembered, in the hands of demons. Jeff gave in and grasped the angel by the shoulders, needing to feel solid flesh in his hands.
“You are never going out with Hank and Ian again,” he declared.
Gabe actually smiled at that. He probably didn’t know Jeff wasn’t joking. Fuck, if he’d been killed, what would the demons have done to Jeff and Kayla in return? Jeff couldn’t let Gabe out of his sight again.
“You’re going to have to teach me how to survive down here,” Gabe said, his expression turning serious. “Especially if I’m going to be staying. Jeff, you have to.”
Jeff swallowed, forcing himself to remember they were surrounded by the others, Hank and Ian still looking so nervous, Trixie at his heels, and Kayla just behind her. He couldn’t just promise Gabe anything he asked, no matter how much he wanted to. This, though, this he could do.
“Someone has to,” he said, trying to keep his voice light. “Heaven knows I can’t trust these two.”
“Hey—” Hank started to protest before Ian slapped his hand over his lover’s mouth.
“I think you should quit while we’re ahead,” Ian murmured. Hank nodded, unable to speak. “Jeff, I’m sorry.”
“You should know better.” Jeff stepped away from Gabe, letting Kayla swoop in from behind and wrap her arms around the angel’s neck in a quick hug. Gabe held her close.
Gabe disentangled himself from Kayla and Trixie, straightening the jacket. His fingers lingered on the soft leather, and he looked over at Hank and Ian. “There’s one more thing.”
What else?
Gabe let the jacket slip off his shoulders as he said, “I owe Hank a shirt.”
Anger burned in his throat, and Jeff saw nothing but red for a moment. Then the implications of what Gabe was really saying hit him.
“They know what I am.” Gabe bit his lip as he met Jeff’s eyes, confirming his fear.
“Mattie too,” Hank put in.
Fuck, was there anyone else? At least Jeff still kept the demons’ secret. No one but Ronnie knew how Gabe came to be here or about the promise Jeff had made. And he hoped to never have to turn Gabe over to Luca’s men.
GABE DIDN’T know Jeff well enough to guess how angry he was. The other man had been curt with Hank and Ian, all but dismissing them before retreating to his workshop. Gabe ended up following Kayla toward the house, taking turns tossing treats in the air for Trixie to catch.
“Don’t ever give her nutricubes,” Kayla told him, handing him another hard biscuit.
“I won’t,” he said, letting Trixie lick the crumbs from his fingers. He felt unsettled about how he’d left things with Jeff. Gabe would almost rather have had Jeff take that swing at Ian, just to get it out of the way. Instead the older man went off to brood.
If this was truly his start on a new life, Gabe couldn’t let Jeff call all the shots. Yes, he owed Jeff a lot, owed him everything. But Gabe meant it when he said that he wanted Jeff to teach him how to live down here. He wasn’t going to be anyone’s boy. Gabe would earn his keep.
“I’m going to talk to your dad,” he told Kayla, backing up from her and Trixie.
She grinned at him. “I’ll start dinner.”
He laughed as he turned back toward the workshop. Starting dinner began and ended with choosing the flavor of nutricube. Gabe thought Trixie probably had more flavorful food.
Yet he didn’t miss the food from uplevel. Yes, there were more choices there, but he’d never wanted anything but basic nutrition. Even when he’d stood honor guard at various banquets and gotten his choice of the best cuisine, his former self couldn’t see the point of eating for pleasure. He ate when the other angels did, making sure he had enough sustenance to support flight.
How hadn’t he noticed how wrong it all was? Gabe scratched at his forehead, the port at his temple suddenly itchy.
When he got to Jeff’s workshop, he heard music playing, the same melancholy voice from the crate of antiques Jeff had taken in delivery. A chill ran through him, and he wondered if he, like the items taken out of an airtight container, would begin to age now that he was gone from Heaven and all its treatments.
Gabe snorted, pushing open the door to the shop. He’d finally be normal then. Even aging would be better than spending two hundred more years of not knowing himself. As he stepped inside, Jeff looked up, shock etched on the part of his face not covered by huge goggles.
“I’m sorry,” Gabe started, knowing he was invading Jeff’s sanctuary. But he wanted to apologize for last night too. “Don’t blame Hank and Ian. I was the one stupid enough to….” He trailed off, finally catching sight of exactly what Jeff was working on: tiny fragments of metal, each shaped like a teardrop, exactly like the feathers of his wing. Gabe moved closer to see and yes, it was just the beginnings, hardly anything to look at yet, but Jeff was making a wing.
“Is that….” He swallowed, not wanting to jump to conclusions. Jeff built a lot of things for other people too. “A wing for me?”
Jeff pulled off the goggles and set them on the table. “Would hardly build one for anyone else.”
No. Demon wings worked differently. Of course.
Gabe reached out with one hand, hovering over the table, but not daring to touch. Jeff had spent his time crafting this, coming up with some way to mend Gabe’s broken body. He hadn’t realized how much he missed flying until suddenly it wasn’t so farfetched any longer.
Jeff apparently didn’t know how to take his silence. “I don’t even know if it’ll work. I mean, I’m just guessing at the programming, but I think the workmanship is good. If you don’t want, I mean, maybe you just wanted to remove the other one?”
Gabe shuddered at that idea. Yes, removing his one remaining wing would let him fit in with the unmodded down in Old Trent. Hell, it would have prevented Hank’s discovery last night. All it took was a torn shirt for Gabe to be outed as an angel to anyone who could see. But no, he could not imagine tearing off that wing.
“No,” he told Jeff, coming around the table. Warmth spread in his chest at the proof of how much Jeff cared, to spend so much time on this. And all for Gabe. It was like Jeff somehow knew Gabe would want to be whole. He would be something between angel and man, yes, but complete nonetheless.
The feeling swelled until he didn’t know what to do, couldn’t express his gratitude with mere words. So Gabe leaned forward and pressed his lips against Jeff’s, loving how the other man’s beard scraped against his chin as he pulled away.
Jeff’s eyes were wide and his mouth parted. Gabe’s heart beat wildly, and he realized he might have made a terrible mistake. How did he know if Jeff even liked men? He might be friends with Hank and Ian, but… oh and there was Kayla to consider.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, taking a step backward. “I don’t even know if you do that with men. I mean, I know you like women, Kayla must have had a mother, and oh, Michael’s nuts, I’m an idiot.”
A slow smile spread across Jeff’s face. He reached out and pulled Gabe toward him by his shoulders. Gabe was too startled to move, to do anything more than tilt his head back as Jeff kissed him once more. He bit down on Gabe’s lower lip until Gabe opened his mouth with a gasp, letting Jeff inside.
Jeff tasted like raspberry nutricubes and freedom. Gabe lost himself in the feeling, the warmth against his lips, the rasping beard along his chin, and the warmth of Jeff’s skin beneath his fingertips when Gabe tucked his hands under Jeff’s shirt.
Jeff pulled away, letting his forehead rest against Gabe’s for a moment as he took a breath. Then he stepped back. Gabe felt bereft, already missing his warmth.
“Gabe, this is probably not a good idea.”
Gabe folded his arms across his chest. “You really going to let that stop you?”
Jeff laughed. He went to one of the many cabinets along the walls and opened it, revealing a cooler from which he pulled a silver thermos. “I think we could both use a drink.”
“You brew that yourself?” Gabe asked as Jeff poured amber liquid into a spare glass. “Is there anything you can’t make?”
“Ask me that once you’ve had a sip.” Jeff handed over the glass and chugged from the thermos itself.
Gabe would have laughed, except he had taken a gulp of his drink and it burned all the way down. He liked how it warmed him from the inside. “It’s good,” he said, his voice raspy.
Jeff seemed to shiver at his words, and Gabe wondered if his husky tones were too close to sex for Jeff. He swallowed at the thought. Funny, it had been so long since he’d last had sex, perhaps he could be considered a virgin all over again. Oh, Rocky, he thought, his chest twisting in pain.
“I don’t mind that you’re male,” Jeff said softly, staring down at the thermos in his hands. “You wouldn’t be my first.”
Gabe wanted to move closer, slot himself between Jeff’s legs and ask what the hell they were waiting for. “Is it the angel thing?”
“I don’t have a good record with relationships.”
Those words only caused his breath to speed up. Jeff wasn’t talking about one night together. He wanted more. Well, with Gabe living here, they couldn’t pretend not to know each other in the morning.
“Considering my last relationship was two centuries ago, I think you have the advantage here.”
Jeff’s eyes widened. “You….”
Gabe moved closer, close enough to feel Jeff’s body heat without touching. “Heaven Corp does good work if you’re willing to let them own your mind.” He tapped his head. “So I’m technically the older man here.”
He’d hoped to put Jeff at ease by making light of it. Heaven had stolen two centuries of his life and ripped him away from the man he loved. Now Gabe was going to take what he wanted and set himself free.
He caught his hand in the loop on Jeff’s pants, tugging gently. Jeff grabbed Gabe’s wrist but didn’t pull him off. “Kayla’s mom died, and it was my fault.”
Gabe let his head fall until it was resting on Jeff’s chest. Sometimes Heaven wasn’t the only impediment standing in his way. Jeff had his own ghosts, just as Gabe had Rocky. “I can see why you wanted that drink.”
Jeff skimmed his hand along Gabe’s cheek, tilting his face up. “You have to hear this. Before this goes any further, you have to understand. It’s my fault Kayla is the way she is.”
“Modded? You say it like it’s such a horrible thing.”
“It’s not a slam on you.” Jeff gestured with his free hand toward the wing parts on the table. “She shouldn’t have been hurt in the first place.”
Gabe couldn’t imagine Jeff being the cause of his daughter’s injury. Not the way he so obviously adored and protected her. “Come, sit down.” Gabe tugged on his arm, pulling Jeff to the chairs around the security screen. At the very least, he could support Jeff through this. “You look like you need to be sitting down for this.”
“I was a hacker,” Jeff blurted as he sat. He reached up to rub at the back of his neck and winced. “Leah was the mechanist. Kayla’s mother. It was her idea to apprentice ourselves to Old Man Giambi. This was his junkyard.”
That made sense. Jeff couldn’t have created this place by himself. How long had it been here, being passed on and handed off to the next generation? Without the junkyard rescuing ruins from hundreds of years ago, Gabe didn’t think Old Trent would be in such good shape, despite the demons.
“All of them were off scavenging in the more dangerous part of the yard.” Jeff pushed a button on the control panel and the screen lit up, showing a map. He seemed to need the visual aid, to stare at it instead of meeting Gabe’s eyes. “Not much left of it now. I was here, jacked in to the net instead of monitoring the energy levels of the damn canister Giambi was using to collect power sources.”
Gabe perched in his own chair, wanting to touch Jeff so badly. He could see how the story ended but remained silent, letting Jeff speak at his own pace. Grief could not be rushed.
“I could hear the explosion from here, even still hooked up. By the time I got there, Kayla was the only one I could save. She was only five fucking years old.”
Now Gabe did touch him, leaning to put his hand on Jeff’s thigh. Jeff covered it with his own, trapping Gabe in his position as they finally met eye to eye. “I shoulda been doing my job that day and I wasn’t. That little girl is my life, and I can’t let anything get in the way of that.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t have this,” Gabe told him, shifting forward enough to kiss Jeff again, savoring the spice of the drink still on his lips. After his kidnapping at the club, Gabe realized he had to move forward, out of the past. He wanted Jeff to have this gift as well. He deserved more than to be swallowed by grief and guilt. Maybe Gabe’s body could speak for him.
Jeff didn’t say a word. He just reached out and grabbed Gabe by the waist, pulling him off his chair until he was straddling Jeff’s lap. They both grunted at the contact. The arousal that had started with the kiss blossomed into full flame. Gabe’s cock thickened against his pants, now too tight for comfort.
He remembered this. Gabe remembered desire and what it felt like to yearn for his lover. He wanted Jeff, needed Jeff to make new memories. Rocky would always be with him, but Gabe could honor him by remembering how to love again.
Gabe caught his hands in Jeff’s thick hair, holding on, but also so he could guide the other man, holding his head so Gabe could keep kissing him. That beard continued to fascinate him. Kissing it, licking it, touching it, nothing satisfied him. Gabe wanted more. He wanted to feel Jeff rub that sweet stubble all over his naked body.
“Workshop isn’t the place for this,” Jeff all but growled. He unsnapped Gabe’s pants with ease, working one hand in to make contact.
Gabe hissed at the touch, unable to respond in any other way. Jeff’s hand was hot, too hot against his dick. He tilted his hips forward, trying to push himself against Jeff. Oh, just like this. He’d forgotten how good sex could be, how you could give and take, striving toward orgasm.
Jeff held him tight around the waist, sliding his other hand lower to tease at Gabe’s balls with one finger probing behind. Gabe let out a frustrated moan. No matter how much he would like to go further, this wasn’t the place for that. He wasn’t going to suggest going back to the house since Kayla was there.
With another rough noise, Jeff tugged down Gabe’s pants, pulling his cock out into the open air. Gabe buried his face in Jeff’s neck, below his ear, where he could breathe him in and yet also hide while Jeff began to caress him. It was almost torture, how slow and tentative Jeff touched him at first, as if trying to see if Gabe would stop him.
“More, please,” he choked out, unable to take it anymore.
“Mmm,” Jeff agreed, speeding up his strokes, catching his thumb under the head of Gabe’s cock.
He could do nothing but hold on and take it, let Jeff play his body like some kind of instrument. As Jeff moved faster, Gabe fell into him, moaning as he rocketed toward his climax.
“Jeff,” he gasped and came, thrusting into Jeff’s hand.
Gabe felt overheated, embarrassed at coming so quickly and being so exposed. Jeff tilted his face and kissed him again, mouth strong and sure against Gabe’s.
“Let me.” Gabe drew Jeff’s fingers to his lips, sucking them clean. He’d done this before, and Rocky had always loved it.
It seemed Jeff did too, by the way his eyes grew heavy-lidded and dark, focused completely on Gabe’s face. He slid off Jeff’s fingers. The combination of his come over the salty flavor of Jeff’s skin wasn’t what he wanted. Gabe wanted to taste Jeff himself and learn how he responded, what he liked. He’d been with Rocky for so long it had been like second nature, no need to think, just do. Learning Jeff’s buttons would take time, but there was a different kind of joy in being with someone for the first time. He pushed off Jeff’s lap, settling on his knees between Jeff’s spread legs.
“Gabe, you don’t….”
“Want to,” Gabe told him, unzipping Jeff’s pants and freeing his cock. It was thick and flushed a deep red, surrounded by dark curls. Gabe leaned forward and breathed in Jeff’s scent, so masculine and musky. Fuck, this would feel so good inside him.
He touched his tongue to the slit, gathering the fluid leaking there. Jeff’s taste exploded in his mouth, rich and powerful. Gabe thought he could easily get addicted to this. Wrapping his lips around the girth, Gabe began to slide down, determined to take all of Jeff.
Hands caught in his hair, and Gabe hummed in response. He wanted Jeff to guide him, to take his pleasure with Gabe’s mouth. But Jeff let Gabe set the pace, just content, it seemed, to hold on for the ride.
Gabe knew he could make this good. He might be out of practice, but he damn well knew how to please a man. Gabe swirled his tongue around the tip of Jeff’s cock, smiling around his mouthful when he heard Jeff groan. So that was something to remember for later. If only he could make Jeff lose his cool, start him thrusting into Gabe’s mouth.
Hollowing his cheeks, Gabe intensified the suction, swallowing around Jeff’s broad length. Jeff cried out, his hips jerking in short, stuttered movements. Before Gabe could enjoy his mouth being filled with thick essence, Jeff’s taste flooded his senses. He took it all, loving how it felt to make this man fall apart.
“Get up here.” Jeff tugged on his hair.
Gabe scrambled up, licking his lips. Jeff swore under his breath at the sight, then leaned forward and devoured Gabe’s mouth once more.
If it was this good now, Gabe couldn’t imagine what it would be like once he actually got Jeff to a bed. They would have time then to slowly learn each other’s bodies, to become experts at what the other desired. Gabe longed for that.