“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
—JOHN 13: 34-35
Before Serennah started at AUM, another university was reviewing Serennah’s transcript and the Dean of Admissions seemed open to our situation. I got the feeling that Serennah was going to be allowed to take one class at that university. It was a Spanish class that Rosannah, our second oldest daughter, was going to start soon. We thought that this would be the perfect opportunity for her to get her feet wet in college for the first time.
Things changed, however, as soon as the Dean spoke to the university’s attorney. He soon became opposed to the idea. The Dean stated that the school is geared toward working adults who are pursuing their degrees through evening, weekend, and lunch-hour classes. The point is that even though their primary students are adults, we suspected that age was the primary factor for the opposition. What a shame!
We just took our business elsewhere and figured it was their loss.
This brings up something very valuable we are educating into our children. Most schools are teaching tolerance. We are teaching our kids to not just tolerate others but to embrace every race.
Kip and I went to Independence High School in the 80s. It was a good time to be there. The school district had a program where kids were bussed in from all over San Jose to participate in the school Fine Arts program to promote diversity. I came from the Hispanic side of town and got to take drama and dance classes. There were a few great football players in my drama class who came to our school to play on our large football team. The result for Kip and I was that we had students of all races in our social circles. There were plenty of people dating outside of their race. In a sense, we were color blind.
It was not until we moved to Kansas and then Alabama that I learned that people viewed us as a biracial couple. We learned quickly that down here in the South, some people simply tolerate one another like one tolerates a pebble in their shoe. We want something better for our kids. We want our kids to look into the hearts of the people that they meet, not just the color of their skin. We have heard people say, “I am not a racist. I have a friend who is _________.” They proceed to give a list of all of their “friends” and their races. We believe the true test is how would these people feel if their child brought home a new boyfriend or girlfriend of another race. This is the acid test.
We believe that biracial children can grow up embracing both sides of their family tree. We tell our kids that if everyone in America inter-married, there would be less tension and no need for surveys asking us to report what race we consider ourselves. Kip is white and had a grandfather from Spain. Kip’s middle name is Lopez. It bothers him when government forms force him to check the “White, not of Hispanic origin” box.
Back in 2003 when we were looking for a house to buy, we asked the realtor to show us homes in a diverse neighborhood because we had heard that Montgomery suffers from de facto segregation. We wanted no part in that. We wanted our kids to have the same type of culturally enriched upbringing that we had enjoyed in Silicon Valley. The realtor did a good job with the first house, but she kept hinting that we might want to try “other” neighborhoods. She meant white neighborhoods. We did humor her and looked at the other properties but decided to buy the first home in the nicely mixed area. Unfortunately, many of the military members stationed here are led by realtors to the east side or outside of town. So, Montgomery is suffering from “white flight” just like our native San Jose has.
After another assignment, we returned to Montgomery in 2007, and learned that not much had changed. Sadly, prejudice is alive and well down here in the South. This time Kip was the one who suffered. He wanted a haircut because he had an interview for the doctoral program at historically black college/university (HBCU) Alabama State. He visited several barbershops near the university and was turned away. Sure, they had excuses that they were too busy. But Kip quickly got the implied message, “We do not cut white people’s hair.” It was devastating and unbelievable! We seriously thought about trying again with a hidden camera.
More recently, I had an African-American coworker tease me about being Osama Bin Ladin’s cousin while the rest of the African-American staff laughed. I certainly would be proud to be from the Middle East. But it is wrong for people to laugh at someone because of his/her race. Needless to say, she and I paid a visit to the Human Resources Department and the teasing stopped. Also, there were a couple of African-American nurses there who were given a hard time about choosing to date outside of their race.
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Despite all of its problems, we love living in Montgomery, the birthplace of the civil rights movement. Our kids have visited Dr. King’s church and home. They know that he was a Godly man who truly loved all people and had a beautiful dream.
People everywhere need to stop trying to get back at others for the sins of their fathers. We have decided to teach our kids to do more than just “tolerate” others but to embrace every race.