Low Moor, late August 1916
The munitions factory explosion brings change
Finding no solace in anything she did, Ada had come to the conclusion that to carry on working towards her goal was the only way to cope. Oh, aye, she’d thought of doing herself in, and would have done if it hadn’t been for Joe’s love. Not that she could return his feelings, as everything inside her had died with the letter’s arrival, but she found something to grasp onto in the friendship and support he offered, and felt a need to be where he was. This meant doing the daily grind at the munitions factory.
Today, Monday 21st August, it was three weeks, four days and twelve hours since she’d read the terrible words. She felt weary through to the bones of her as she stepped off the train after an early shift at the factory and began the trudge up Clackheaton Road. Agatha and Mildred were by her side, and Joe was just behind.
The station clock had shown it was two-thirty. The sun beat down on them. Children, on holiday from school, ran around, some of them rolling balls with a stick. One of a group of girls threw a stone into a pattern of chalked numbered squares and hopped into where it landed. All of them chatted and laughed.
Women stood in the doorways of their houses or sat on their steps. Flowered aprons covered their long skirts, nets kept their hair in place, and fags hung from their mouths as they called out to one another. It was a chatter that stopped, as if as a mark of respect, as she, Agatha and Mildred walked by, for the three of them were known as the mothers of the lost ‘pals’ and, as such, held the admiration and awe of their fellow mothers.
Smoke billowed in the distance from the Low Moor Munitions Factory. How Ada longed for a position to become available there, so she didn’t have this daily journey to Leeds. As they turned into New Works Road and she caught sight of the factory, and of her cottage, her longing to work there increased. But then she remembered that if she moved jobs, she wouldn’t be near Joe. That thought had her turning her body to look at him, but as she did so, an intense force hit her, taking all control from her and flinging her backwards. She thought she’d bump into Joe and send him flying, but his own body was propelled away from her, as if a giant hand had picked him up and thrown him. Seconds later Mildred and Agatha flew past her, in much the same manner.
Debris fell from the sky; bricks, bruising and cutting, bits of wood and a roof tile hit her face, and dust stung her eyes. But it was a huge piece of wooden beam that gave her a pain that seared through her. It crushed her and left her unable to move, as it pinned her to the ground. The boom – a sound like nothing she’d ever experienced – blocked her ears and made the noise of crumbling houses, shattering windows, women’s screams and children’s cries come to her as if they were far away from her, instead of surrounding her.
The munitions factory – oh God, it’s exploded! Please God let everyone be all right. Let Beryl be safe. Oh, why didn’t I go and make me peace with her? And where will Paddy be? What about our home? Me things – me lads’ stuff!
Then Ada’s panic died, as there was a terrific bang and a huge fireball shot into the sky above her. The ground beneath her shook. Something hit her head. The pain from it was only momentary, as she was sucked into a welcoming darkness that took her to a place where she could feel nothing and knew nothing.
Waking to a world of whiteness disorientated Ada, as did the strange shapes around her: distorted figures of people, a swirling curtain and a trolley shape that wobbled.
‘Oh, me Ada, are thee alreet, lass?’
Joe’s lovely voice. He was here with her. He hadn’t been killed. ‘Oh, Joe. I can’t see thee, but I feel your presence.’ It was a feeling she had never experienced before. A good feeling: a feeling of great love, and not in any way related to the sexual attraction that she now knew was all there was – and had ever been – between her and Paddy.
‘I’m here, lass, at the side of you. No, don’t turn your head. I’ll lean over you. One of your eyes is bandaged, and the other has been washed out and some drops put in it, so you might not be able to focus.’
A dark shape came into view above her. ‘There, lass, is that better? Now, you’re not to worry. You’re in Leeds Hospital. They say you’ve broken a few ribs and need monitoring, in case one of them pierces your lung. But you are going to be fine. Everyone is okay – cuts and bruises mostly. It was the munitions factory. It exploded and set off a secondary explosion in the gasworks.’
‘Is – is Paddy . . . and me house . . . ?’
‘I think Paddy’s all right. I asked around, and it turns out he was in the Black Horse when it happened; a few were having an after-hours game of poker with the landlord. He wasn’t hurt, but no one seems to have seen him since. I thought he would be with you, so I took care and was ready to turn away if he was here.’
‘And me house?’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Naw!’
‘Look, it’s not reduced to rubble, like some. But it ain’t liveable in, either. I’m sorry, lass.’
‘Oh God, Joe – me stuff!’
‘Stuff’s only stuff; it can be replaced.’
‘But me memory box of me lads’ things, and the money as I’ve been saving. I have to have them! Do something for me, Joe. Please go to me house and get them for me. Please, Joe.’
‘Don’t fret yourself, Ada, lass. I’ll do what I can.’
‘Go now, Joe. I can’t lose me boys’ things, nor me money.’
‘You won’t. Just tell me where to look. But I can’t go now – there’s coppers and firemen all over the place, stopping folk going into their houses until they are deemed safe. I’ll go in the early hours of the morning, under the cover of darkness.’
This calmed her. If the police were looking after the properties, none of those likely to thieve from her house when she wasn’t there would dare go near it. But she wouldn’t rest properly until she had all her things here with her.
Exhaustion took over her, as the worrying wearied her. Her eyes closed without her bidding them to. But there was something she was determined to say. ‘Joe, I want you to know that I love you . . .’
His kiss on her lips was gentle and only lasted a second, but it sealed her feelings and brought a smile to her that hurt her face. She didn’t care. She felt safe. But that feeling had only just settled in her when Paddy’s voice shook her.
‘What the feck are you doing, eh? That’s me wife! I knew there was something between you.’
Joe’s body shot away from her. Paddy must have grabbed him.
‘Naw, Paddy, naw. Don’t! Leave him alone!’ But as her words died, it was Paddy she saw being flung past the end of her bed. His landing shook the bed, as his head hit the iron bedstead.
Screaming as loud as her dry throat would let her, Ada called for help. Footsteps came running. A male voice shouted at Joe to back off.
Ada held her breath. Turning her head gave her pain, but enabled her to see Joe. His face looked shocked as he stared down towards the floor.
‘Get a porter, Nurse. Let’s get him onto a stretcher and into a treatment room!’ It was the same male voice, which she was convinced belonged to the doctor. It had an urgency to it that increased her feeling of trepidation. Still Joe didn’t move, but he did speak.
‘He attacked me.’
No one took any notice of this. But the male voice asked, ‘What is the injured man’s name?’
‘He’s me husband. Paddy O’Flynn.’
Coming over to her, the man, whom she could now see dressed in a doctor’s uniform, looked down on her. ‘Your husband?’ His question held disdain as he looked from her to Joe.
She closed her eyes against the accusations she knew he was forming in his mind. A tear squeezed through her eyelids. It ran down her cheek, leaving a cold trail, but she wouldn’t let others follow it. That would mean an avalanche of them, so she swallowed hard and told herself that it didn’t matter what folk thought. What did anything matter, any more?
But this changed to a deep anxiety as the doctor said, ‘Nurse, go and fetch one of the policemen here.’ Then turned to Joe and said, ‘This looks serious – he could die. I advise you to stay here until the policeman arrives, which shouldn’t be long, as the hospital is crawling with them. They are dealing with the aftermath of the explosion. I am sure they will want to talk to you.’
As they left the room with Paddy on a stretcher, Joe sat down heavily in the chair he’d vacated. Ada didn’t know what to think or feel, and even less what to say. All that had happened in the last twenty-four hours had left her stunned. Now Paddy, her husband of twenty-odd years, could die! God, what next? What next?
‘I’m sorry, Ada. I only acted in self-defence. I – I didn’t mean to hurt him badly. It was just one of me throws that I’d learned. You see, I often get called names for being here and not over in France, and on occasions it gets nasty and someone will attack me. If it’s a bloke – say one in middle age that hasn’t been called up, and they look strong enough – I defend meself by throwing them and then, when they are disabled, I tell them why I can’t go and what I am doing instead. That seems to sort things out. I promise, I never meant—’
‘I know. I saw what happened.’
‘I doubt anyone will take your word. You only have a small amount of vision in the one eye. And it is well known that I am sweet on you, Ada. They will say I attacked your husband because of that!’
‘It’s alreet, Joe. Nothing can happen – it was self-defence. Paddy’s strong; he’ll come through. It’ll take more than a blow on the head to do my Paddy in.’
‘You said “my Paddy”. I thought you didn’t have any feelings for him, lass, I thought . . .’
‘I do have feelings for him, but nothing like I have for—’
The ward door opened and a policeman marched in. ‘You. What is your name?’
‘Joe Grinsdale, sir.’
Turning to her, the policeman said, ‘Ada O’Flynn?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘I understand the man attacked in here just a few minutes ago is Paddy O’Flynn, your husband?’
Something in his voice frightened her. She could only nod her head.
‘Well, I’m sorry to say he died of his injuries as they were carrying him to the emergency station.’ A painful gasp choked Ada. Her ears wouldn’t give her the truth of the words the policeman was saying. But the reality of it hit her as she heard him say, ‘Joe Grinsdale, I am arresting you for the murder of Paddy O’Flynn . . .’
Murder! Paddy dead! Naw – naw! Her voice took on a mind of its own as, following a low, agonizing moan, she said, ‘Naw, he didn’t do it. Paddy swung at him. Joe just threw him in self-defence!’
‘More concerned for your lover than your husband, eh? Sounds like the poor chap had a reason for taking a swing. Anyway we’ll let the judge and jury decide whether he’s guilty or not. All we know is that we have one dead man, and standing in front of me is the man who is responsible for his death.’
The clink of the handcuffs resounded around the room. Joe looked at her. His expression showed both fear and sorrow.
‘It’ll be alreet, Joe. I’ll tell them it was self-defence, I’ll tell them!’ But before she had finished saying it, the policeman had manhandled Joe out of the door.
Resting her head back, Ada looked upwards and cursed God. Why? Why? What have I ever done to deserve all you throw at me? Well, you can take this as me last prayer, ’cause all me others have fallen on your deaf ears. From now on, it’s me. Me, on me own, but I’ll show you. You’ll not beat me!
Her tears, and the desperate feelings inside her, didn’t go with these words, but she meant every one of them. God had taken the last of her family, and in circumstances that meant the man she loved had gone as well. She dared not think about how she would face the future, if Joe hanged.
Without Paddy? Oh, aye, I’ll feel his loss, but he deserved what came to him. Now he’ll be with the boys. This thought gave her more pain. All of them together. A deep loneliness settled inside her and brought forth a cry of, ‘Naw . . . naw. I can’t bear it, I can’t!’
‘Now, now, you have to keep calm. Crying will give you more pain and may exacerbate your condition.’ The posh voice of the nurse held kindness, but what she said next sounded judgemental. ‘I have heard it said, up here in the North, that you can’t have your chips and have a pie, too. I don’t know your circumstances, but from what is being said . . .’
‘I didn’t have naw pie, and I had very few chips, come to that. All I’ve ever had since this war broke out has been heartache. You don’t know me, lass. When you’ve given three sons to your King and country, been beaten from pillar to post and raped by your husband, been blown up, and dared to seek a little happiness from the man that loves you, then – and only then – can you stand in judgement of me!’
The nurse was quiet for a moment. When she spoke her voice sounded shocked. ‘I – I’m sorry. Oh, that is awful. I have never had anything like that happen to me. I – I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I had no right. My name is Irene, but I am called Rene. I hope you will forgive me, and if there is anything that I can do to help you, I will’
‘There is: take care of me. Make me better. And then I can cope and can help me Joe to cope. It ain’t that I am saying I’m not sorry about me husband – I am. I feel his loss, though it pales on top of the loss of me lads. A body and soul can only take so much. I have no reserves. But, even if I had, I wouldn’t waste them on Paddy, but use them to help me free Joe.’
Rene patted her gently. ‘Tell me all about it. Then I will see what I can do.’
Though the telling caused pain, it also helped. Rene had that air about her that made you want to trust her and confide in her. And, though it seemed unlikely as they were worlds apart, Ada felt as though she had found a friend, someone who would be on her side. ‘Where are you from, Rene? You ain’t from round here.’
‘No, Leeds is a long way from my home. I’m from London. I came to work here, as this is a training hospital. I want to go to France to help, but as a fully qualified nurse. I didn’t want to be a VAD.’
‘What’s that?’
‘It’s short for Voluntary Aid Detachment. There are some spiffing girls working for them – some of my friends are attached to hospitals over in France. They try their best, but they told me in their letters that more often than not they are ridiculed by the real nurses. I wouldn’t be able to take that. I am a fiery person. Besides, the war has given me a chance to show that I am really talented at something, and I have found that I love being a nurse. My parents would never have agreed to me training as a nurse in other circumstances. They just wanted to marry me off.’
‘Well, I think you will be an asset to them out there and will save many lives. And you will do so brilliantly, without causing pain or suffering, which is how you’ve just treated me. Ta, love. And while I’m on, you’ve a good bedside manner, as they call it, as you’ve soothed me. Though I could still scream and scream at the injustice of it all.’
‘Well, you just do that, if you have to. I will make sure everyone knows that you should be allowed to, and they should just offer you quiet comfort, not words of chastisement or anger. I won’t tell them your story – it is yours to tell – but I will say that you have been to hell and back, and that you deserve our respect, not derision.’
‘I can’t say as I’m back from hell, Rene, as I am still living it! Every day I’m seared with a hotter and more intense pain than any hellfire could inflict on me. But I turn the pain into strength. I draw from it to sustain me, so that I can carry on.’
‘You are a remarkable woman, Ada. And an inspiration.’
Aw, I don’t know about that. But ta, lass. Do one thing for me, will you? Will you try to find out what happens to Joe? I need to know.’
‘I’ll try. Now I’m going to give you something to make you rest. The doctor prescribed it for you. Here, take these.’
With Rene’s help, Ada swallowed the tablets. After a while she found it difficult to keep awake.
As she drifted off she noticed the moment when Rene left her bedside, but somehow she thought Rene would never leave her, not really. Because, even if she never saw her again, she would never forget the slim, pretty girl with the beautiful dark, kind eyes.