London, September 1917
A love declared
‘I can’t believe Edith has abandoned this project, Jay. It is bad form of her!’
The now-completed Jimmy’s Hope House had been up and running for two weeks. They were sitting together in the office. It had been ten weeks since Edith had left for France.
‘My dear Eloise, she hasn’t abandoned it. She has asked us to continue with it, until the war ends.’
‘But how could she not tell us her plans? It’s as if she has duped us into taking care of things here. It was only going to be for a few weeks, and now she writes to tell us that she won’t return until her work is done – whether that coincides with the end of the war or not! I mean, who knows when the war will end? Let alone when the field hospitals will close. Why couldn’t she have been satisfied with helping the war effort by working in Shepherd’s Bush Military Hospital and continuing what she started here, instead of returning to Abbeville? This is all too much work for us, on top of our work for my charity.’
‘I can’t answer that. I somehow don’t think she planned it. Her letter said that she didn’t, and I believe her. I think it happened how it happened: being back in France, and so near to the war, she felt compelled to return to her post.’
Eloise fell silent. Jay could see from her face that she was very cross. Much of this, he knew, was down to her being tired. Ada did a wonderful job of heading the nannies and had recruited a team of cleaning and maintenance staff, but Jimmy’s Hope House was filling up rapidly and the administrative side had so far been down to himself and Eloise. Much of its success had been due to the contacts made through Eloise’s charity. All of her coordinators made referrals, on an almost daily basis, of orphaned children and widowed mothers in need of a break. This meant that the workload had increased at that rate too.
The unmarried-mothers unit hadn’t developed at all, however. In some ways that was a good thing, but in others it was a worry that they weren’t reaching those who might need their help. And if they did, without Edith here to take care of the medical side of things there wasn’t a lot they could offer. It was also strange how Edith had thought there would be genteel ladies in need of the charity. He couldn’t imagine ladies like Eloise and Edith ever being in the position of being unmarried mothers. But then there had been Andrina. Yes, Andrina could well have ended up in that position. He himself had been on the verge of. . . Oh God, how wrong that would have been! Yes, he had known his true position in life by then, but Andrina wasn’t the right person for him; he knew that beyond any doubt now. She had just been accessible, and her attentions had flattered him. But how long would it have been before he discovered his true love?
‘Eloise?’
As she looked up at him, he read the words, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘I know. You’re tired. But we will find a way. I have heard that the Military Hospital plans to rehabilitate the wounded by finding them jobs. Why don’t we approach them and see if any of the soldiers have administrative skills? We could appoint an administrative manager and a secretary. We could advertise for a nursing sister to oversee the health of the children, and recruit a governing board to vet potential adoptive parents for the children. What do you think?’
‘Yes, of course we can. I’m being silly. I’m cross with Edith, but mostly I’m afraid for her. Oh, why did she do this?’
‘Eloise, don’t. I can’t bear it when you are upset . . . It – it hurts. Eloise, forgive me, I have no right to speak to you of my feelings, for it is only just over a year since Andrina’s death. Such a short time.’
Her hand touched his face, quietening him and sending waves of desire through him. Her eyes held his: her beautiful hazel eyes that danced when she smiled, but which now held a depth of feeling that he dare not hope was for him.
‘Eloise, you must know how I feel?’
‘I do, Jay. I have waited . . .’
‘You return my feelings? Oh, Eloise.’ Neither of them seemed to move, and yet their bodies were now close. He could feel her breath on his face and her breasts brushing his chest as her breathing deepened, but still he felt afraid to do what he most wanted to do in all the world: hold her, kiss her.
‘How do you feel, Jay? I need you to tell me.’
‘I – I love you, Eloise. I love you with a love that fills me with joy and desire and happiness, but that would burst into something I feel I could hardly handle, if you felt the same for me.’
‘I do,’ she said in a breathless tone.
Her eyes closed, and her lovely full lips lifted to his. The moment he’d longed for had arrived. The touching of her lips with his own made a passionate feeling shudder through him, which he fought to control. The kiss, though beautiful and threatening to overwhelm him, wasn’t enough. He needed – no, he had – to take her to him and join his life to hers, in the ultimate act of love.
Her desire matched his own, and her hands caressed his back with a pressure that pulled him even closer to her. Now their bodies were moulded and he couldn’t hide his need, or prevent her from feeling it pressed against where he most wanted to be.
He knew he must pull away and calm the situation, but he couldn’t. Eloise was so willing, so giving and loving. His hand found and cupped her breast. The deep intake of breath that he felt her take told him of the pleasure this gave. Encouraged, he caressed the tip, felt the hardening of her nipple beneath her blouse.
Prising her lips open with his tongue, he savoured the delicious thrill of the feel of her tongue, and moved his own in and out of her mouth. He was lost. Lost in a world so removed from any he’d known that he needed to go further. Had to.
Pulling away from her, he guided her to the chaise longue under the window. But, halfway there, shame washed over him as Eloise positioned herself in front of him and said, ‘No. No, Jay, I can’t!’
‘Oh, my darling. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.’
‘No, darling, it wasn’t your fault. My love for you is so intense that I allowed us to lose control. I love you, Jay. Please make me your wife.’
Her words calmed him. The disappointment was only going to be temporary, because she loved him. She had asked him to marry her. ‘Now?’
Oh, how he wished he could hear her laughter. But he joined his with hers and the moment lightened.
‘Let us post the banns right away.’
‘But what about Father?’
‘I know he’ll agree. He’s spoken to me about our feelings towards one another, and has said it is about time that I did something about it.’
‘Really!’
‘Ha, no. I wish it were so. But surely he must suspect, and your mother, too. I have a feeling the whole world knows.’
‘I didn’t. I knew I loved you, but . . .’
‘And I knew I loved you.’
‘Oh, Jay’
They laughed together. But Jay knew he would feel no peace until he could complete what they had started, and he could really make her his.
Taking his handkerchief and using it to wipe her smudged lipstick didn’t help. Once more they were closer together than he could handle. The door opened and they shot apart. Looking at Ada as she entered, Jay read what she said.
‘Eeh, caught you red-handed! I beg your pardon, I just wanted some more of those ordering pads and another pen. Though I can’t get used to these posh nibs. I get into a reet mess. Ink all over me, and blotches on me paper. Give me a crayon any day.’
‘Er . . . er . . .’ Words failed him.
‘Carry on,’ said Ada, looking at them directly. ‘It’s about time you two got together, and if you want a bridesmaid, I’m your girl.’ With a bob and a bow, she left the room.
It took a second for the shock to wear off, but then the ridiculousness of the situation hit Jay, as it did Eloise. At just the same moment they doubled over in laughter. When they calmed, he had a happiness in him such as he’d never known.
‘You know, Eloise, I think loving someone is such a huge thing. It encompasses so much, and we have it all. We can work together, talk about anything together and laugh together, and now I know that the deeper side of love is going to be fantastic, too.’
A blush swept over her face, and a smile lit her eyes. Coming into his arms, he knew that she had spoken, but her head was snuggled into him, making it impossible for him to decipher what she had said, although he knew her words would be words of love. His world was almost complete.