Chapter Seventeen

There were only a few flurries falling as Ally walked through Santa’s Village, heading back to Peggy’s. The lights were on and glowing on the cold Christmas Eve night, but there wasn’t a soul in sight. Ally figured that the folks that weren’t at the community center were home tucked snugly away, children curled up in bed in their PJs, knowing that Santa was on his way and that morning’s light would reveal a pile of Christmas treasures beneath the tree. Ally remembered her own girlhood in Manhattan and trying her little-girl best to stay awake when her eyes were so heavy, a little worried that her apartment building doorman might not let Santa in.

She wondered what the next Christmas would bring. Would her life be better, her crisis lifted, or would she be looking back wistfully on the crushed dreams of her career? And she thought of Jake and the look on his face as she walked away. She’d hurt him, but as she left the square and started up Nazareth Street toward Peggy’s she told herself it was for the best.

She could already see the glow of Peggy’s house two blocks ahead when the lights of a car illuminated her from behind. Jake? Is he coming for me? No. You hurt him, Ally reminded herself. So, stop kidding yourself. Why would he come after you? She hadn’t seen a single other car on the walk back. A moment later, a green Honda CR-V rolled up beside her, and the passenger window opened.

“Hey Ally?” Ally recognized Tina’s voice right away and stepped over to the car.

“Tina. Hi.” Ally put her gloved hand on the door and leaned in the window. “What are you doing out? You should be at the dance.”

“I saw you leave, and I wanted to check on you.”

“That’s sweet,” Ally said, “but I’m fine.” Ally drew in a long breath. It suddenly dawned on her that, not only had she lost her career that night, she’d also thrown something far more valuable away. Jake. He’d been there for her, cared for her, gave her a hand when she needed one most. He’d been nothing but nice to her. And how had she repaid him? She’d left him standing with a broken heart on the dance floor.

“Really?” Tina said. “Because you don’t seem fine.” Ally nodded. Of course she was right. “It’s freezing out,” Tina said. “Why don’t you hop in?”

Once inside Tina’s warm car, the last twig of restraint keeping Ally’s dam of emotion in check snapped. The yogi felt her lower lip start to quiver, and she knew there was no point in fighting it. The sobs started coming in fits and starts. And Tina didn’t seem at all surprised. She drove past Peggy’s house, took a right on Shepherd Court, and started up a winding rise that finally came to a dead end at the top of Mars Hill, a mini-mountain that rose to just over eight hundred feet at its crest and was scattered with some of Bethlehem’s nicer homes.

Tina pulled up to an overlook that gazed down on the sleepy town, put the car in park, and waited for Ally to finish her cry. Ally didn’t disappoint. She let it all out, sobbing so hard she literally shook, her hands crisscrossed on her shoulders, hugging herself. Finally, after a few more minutes, Ally chugged to a stop like a freight train pulling into the station. Tina didn’t speak or ask questions. She just waited while Ally caught her breath and composed herself. Ally looked out the windshield and noticed the sparkling view for the first time. The little town of Bethlehem lay below them.

“Wow,” Ally said. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yes,” Tina said. “I’m sure you can guess what teenagers use this spot for on weekend nights.”

“Inspiration point?”

Tina nodded. “When I was dating my now ex-husband, we were ‘inspired’ up here a few times.” Tina laughed. “Haven’t done that in a car in years. It really is a bit awkward and uncomfortable.” There was a lingering moment of silence, and finally Ally let out a long, smooth sigh.

“My life is just…over,” she said. “I have to get back to L.A. to try and pick up the pieces. See if there’s anything left that’s worth salvaging.”

Tina took Ally’s hand. “Listen,” she said, “I know sitting here tonight, it may seem as if your life has spun out of control, but my grandmother had a saying that I think fits this moment in your life. It used to annoy me when I was young and headstrong, but, as the years went by, I started to see the wisdom of it. Grams would say ‘don’t dwell on what went wrong, focus on what to do next.’”

Ally looked at her. She hadn’t really given much thought to her next steps. Was there anything she could do to work her way out of the fix she was in? She looked back at the view, and the shimmering little town that lay before her on Christmas Eve suddenly brought her a glimmer of hope. Maybe all was not lost. Maybe it was just time for a hard reset.

…

The snow had stopped and the clouds had moved off by the time Jake arrived back at his pickup truck outside Charlie’s. He looked up at the thick field of stars winking in the night sky. His whole life he’d turned to the sky for comfort. Whenever he’d been sad about something as a boy, when his dad died, when he lost Kate, he went outside at night and looked up. There was something about the majestic vastness of space that helped put his problems into perspective. He sighed and thought of Ally and their dance kiss. He’d blown it with her, though he wasn’t sure what he’d done. Maybe he was right. Maybe she did think of him as just someone to help pass the time as she waited out the storm. Can that really be all I was to her? Was it wrong to kiss her? Had it scared her? The next day, she’d be getting on that waiting plane and heading back to L.A. I never should have let my heart out of its cage, Jake thought. I should have known better.

Jake noticed movement coming from inside the diner and was surprised to see Robbie and Amelia sitting across from each other at a window booth. They were sharing a slice of pumpkin pie Louie had made that morning. He watched them for a moment. The young couple had the whole place to themselves; they were smiling, laughing. They seemed perfect together. Jake thought about tapping on the window, saying hello, but decided to let them be. Instead, he just got in his truck and drove away.

Noel was asleep on the couch in front of the television when Jake came through the front door of Peggy’s house. Baby Chelsea was sleeping peacefully beside the couch in the bassinet that had come courtesy of Doc Baker’s nurse Dora. Jake found his mother in the kitchen sipping a mug of peppermint tea and watching the little TV on the counter. She didn’t seem at all surprised to see him.

“Mom.”

“Hello, Jake. How was the dance?”

“Okay. Did you hear about the airports?”

“Yes,” Peggy said. “It’s been all over the news. Poor Noel. There’s no telling when she’ll get back home to Brian.”

Jake smiled. “You never know. Maybe she’ll end up with a Christmas miracle.”

“What are you talking about?” Peggy asked.

“Nothing,” Jake said.

“I’m going to miss them,” Peggy said. “Not just Noel and Ally—all of them. It’s been a godsend having the passengers here. They helped us all realize how right the poet Yeats was when he said, ‘There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t met yet.’ That’s never truer than at Christmastime. Hot tea?”

“Sure, thanks,” Jake said. He went to the cupboard to fetch a mug, then took a pouch of peppermint tea from the teabag caddy his mother kept on the counter. “I think Ally’s with Tina,” Jake said as he dropped the bag in a green mug with a Rudolph nose. “At least I know Tina went to look for her after Ally abruptly left the dance.”

“Left the dance?” Peggy said.

“She was upset,” Jake said. “She’s being evicted from her yoga studio.” He fit the mug beneath the hot water dispenser in Peggy’s fridge and filled it three quarters to the top.

“Well, then your sister’s the right one to be with,” Peggy said. “Tina always was the wisest one in the family.” Jake nodded. He knew she was right. “You’ll miss Ally,” Peggy said. Jake noticed it was not a question, but a statement. He looked at his mother. She wasn’t watching him; she’d moved onto the crossword puzzle from the Christmas Eve edition of The Bethlehem Bugle.

He pulled up a chair across from her and sat down, placing his mug of tea on the table in front of him. “Maybe,” Jake said. Peggy didn’t look up. He thought how grandmotherly his mom looked with her reading glasses slipped down toward the tip of her nose.

“Well, if you truly care for someone, then I think that narrows your choices,” Peggy said. “And that’s a good thing.”

“What do you mean?” Jake said. He picked up the mug, took a sip of tea. It was still too hot.

“If you’re not sure,” Peggy said slowly, “that’s when things get murky. At least you know, so all you have to do is decide. Do you tell her and risk your heart, or do you keep it to yourself and live with knowing you could have had true love…for the second time in your life? So, all you need to know is one simple thing. Do you love her?”

Jake blew on his hot tea and took a sip. “That’s all I need to know?” he said. “It’s just that easy?”

“It’s not easy,” Peggy said. “Nothing worth its salt is. But it is simple. Those two don’t always go hand in hand. So…do you…love her?” Jake looked at his mother, a long lingering look until, finally, he gave her the tiniest of winks, and she had her answer.

Jake heard the front door open and put down his tea. Ally’s back, he thought. He looked at his mother. She was now watching him, her puzzle pencil poised in her right hand. She didn’t need to say a word. Jake got up as he heard footfalls on the steps heading up.

By the time he stepped into the living room, Ally was already upstairs. Tina was standing just inside the front door in her winter coat and gloves. Jake looked from Ally as she disappeared down the hall to his sister.

“She okay?” he asked.

“Brother, will you take a walk with me? I think we need to talk.”