April didn’t confirm or deny Sophie’s accusation that she was in love with Jonas but she’d been thinking about nothing else ever since. She was madly in love with him but she was afraid to admit it out loud, because she didn’t want to scare him away. He wasn’t ready for any kind of declaration from her and, honestly, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for it either. Saying it out loud made it real and that terrified her, because it was a simple truth that people she loved left, one way or another, and she wasn’t ready to let Jonas go yet.
Carmen had shown April to Jonas’ room shortly after her conversation with Sophie ended. The madam wasn’t friendly, but she showed no rancor when she took April up two flights of stairs to a floor that contained what appeared to be several personal residences. April showered and made herself comfortable in the queen-size bed. When Jonas still hadn’t returned from his talk with Jimmy, she began to worry.
Maybe he’d found another place to sleep for the night.
She didn’t think so. His backpack with all his belonging had been brought up by a beefy young man who was clearly employed as a bouncer. The only way to find out would be to go back downstairs and ask. She was comfortable in her camisole top and sleep shorts, but knew she couldn’t go downstairs without throwing on something else. Pulling a t-shirt over her clothes, she opened the door and stopped when she heard voices in the hall.
She recognized Jonas’ voice immediately. “They’re picking me up at zero five hundred hours.”
“What about the girl?” The other voice belonged to Carmen.
April held very still.
“My brother Jimmy will see her home. Are you sure I can’t send you a crate of supplies?”
“The government will only confiscate at the border. We’ll be fine. Most of our clients are government officials. They look after us.”
“You’ll call if you need anything.”
“I won’t, but thank you, mi querido.”
He was leaving in the morning? Was he even going to tell her? Or was the jerk planning to disappear like he had before? April wasn’t sure if she was angry or nauseous or a little bit of both. She closed the door quietly and slid back into bed.
When Jonas came into the room her heart was racing.
A fresh bruise on his left cheekbone made his brooding face seem even more menacing.
“Does that hurt?” April said without lifting her head off the pillow.
“Yes.” Jonas unfastened his knife harness and draped it over the back of a wooden chair.
“Good.” He had it coming. He may not have had a choice the first time he’d disappeared on her without explanation, but he had a choice this time.
Jonas pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the chair too.
“Did you hit him back?” April’s curiosity got the best of her.
“Nope.” He sat on the chair to pull off his boots. He was calm. Too calm for a someone who had recently been in a fight.
“Good.” She rolled onto her other side facing away from him.
He padded barefoot into the bathroom, closed the door, and started the shower.
Her annoyance flared. He couldn’t manage two words for her, but he’d been all nice and buddy-buddy with Carmen.
April sat up, climbed out of bed, and paced the room. Anger built with every step. How dare he blow her off now that they were back to reality. They shared something special in the jungle, and they had a kid together. He claimed to care about her, but the as soon as they made it to civilization, he pulled back. Typical.
The door opened, and Jonas followed a cloud of steam into the bedroom. He wore nothing but a towel. His face was clean-shaven and a citrusy saltwater fragrance mingled with his own clean scent. He’d used aftershave.
Since when did he use any kind of cologne? Was he planning to spend the night somewhere else? That thought rocked her. She wasn’t sure how she managed to form words, but when she spoke, her tone was deceptively calm. “I overheard you talking to Carmen. Were you going leave me again without saying goodbye?”
He ignored her and crouched to dig a pair of sleep shorts and a t-shirt out of his bag.
“Ignoring people is childish. Grow up. You have a son to—”
Jonas stood and spun on her so fast, she took an involuntary step back.
His tone was as cold and dark as the expression on his face. “I have a son I didn’t plan for and never wanted. You should be counting your blessings I don’t want to be part of his life instead of trying to domesticate me, because it ain’t gonna happen.”
April couldn’t catch her breath, her eyesight blurred, and her hearing went fuzzy.
He stepped into his shorts and let the damp towel drop to the floor.
“What about yesterday?” Her voice sounded muffled and far away, like it was coming out the far end of a long tunnel.
He tugged the t-shirt over his head. “Yesterday was fun. You’re a good fuck. But it’s over.”
She slapped him so hard, her hand stung. “You’re disgusting.” Her whole body shook and she willed herself not to cry. “Anders was right about you. You are a creep.”
Jonas hadn’t moved a muscle since her palm contacted with his face. He could have stopped the slap. His reflexes were ridiculous. He could have had her down on the floor and incapacitated in flash, but he simply stood there, taking her scathing anger like it was his job. A muscle worked in his check, and his gaze darted downward and away. Her angry handprint glowed red on top of the bruise.
Pity and understanding washed away April’s anger. “You don’t mean it. You’re saying these awful things to me because your brother told you to leave me alone.”
“Don’t do that, April. Don’t make excuses for me. You’re better than that.”
“It’s true.” She moved closer, so close he was forced to look at her or back away. “You’re trying to drive me away. Did you really think I’d buy that bull crap you just tried to feed me? You care about me and Archie. I know you do. Jimmy doesn’t know how we feel about each other or what we’ve shared. Why would you listen to him?”
Pain flashed through his dark eyes, before they slid away from her again. “Because he’s right. I didn’t have the right to touch you five years ago, and I don’t have the right to do it now either.” When he looked at her again, his expression was open and raw. “You and Archie deserve so much better. I’m not cut out to be a father. Hell, I have no idea what being a good one even means.”
A tear leaked from the corner of her eye leaving a hot trail down her cheek. “That fact that you even care about hurting Archie should prove to you you’re nothing like your father.”
Jonas cupped her face so gently she barely felt his touch. Pain and regret animated his face in a way she’d never seen before, and it squeezed her heart.
“Don’t leave us, Jonas. We need you.”
He shook his head and stepped back. “I can’t. I have to go.”
“So, you’re walking out on us again?”
“I didn’t walk out on you the first time, remember?” He grabbed a pillow from the bed and knocked over the box of tissues on the nightstand.
“But you would have.” April stood in the middle of the room, watching him. “Just like you’re doing now. You think you’re so badass, but you’re a coward.”
“I’ll send money.”
“I don’t want your money.”
“I’m not going to argue with you.” He headed for the door.
“Where are you going? Your stuff’s here.”
“Get some sleep.”
“You’re going to her, aren’t you?”
He stopped in the open doorway but didn’t turn around. “Maybe I am.
Liar. Why was he still trying to hurt her? “I hate you.”
“Good.”
As he pulled the door closed, she yelled through it. “I hope you catch syphilis and your dick falls off!” She picked up the fallen box of tissues and hurled it and the closed door. It thumped off the panel and tumbled to the floor.
She hugged herself, fighting off the pain and disappointment swamping her insides. Covering her mouth to stifle a sob, she stomped her foot in frustration.
The door flew open. Jonas marched back inside, slid his hand behind her neck, tugged her forward, and kissed her. His tongue plunged into her mouth possessively and she met him halfway, kissing him back with equal yearning. Her head spun, her knees went weak, and her heart swelled with love and longing.
He pulled back, trembling and panting heavily. His grip tightened a fraction before he let go. “Good bye, April.”
Her head still whirling, she stared at him confused.
“Can’t say I didn’t say goodbye this time.” He nodded once and then turned and left the room.
April sat up quickly in bed and realized, despite her restlessness, she must have fallen asleep at some point during the night. Sunlight peeked around the edges of the curtains, illuminating the room just enough for her to see that Jonas’ backpack and other belongings were gone. Another person she loved and cared about had left her. First, her mother died after battling a very short illness, then the man she thought was her father had vanished, and now she’d made the tragic mistake of falling in love with a man who was incapable of loving her back.
She wanted to hide under the covers for the rest of the morning, but that wouldn’t solve anything. Feeling another crying jag coming on, she pushed herself out of bed. What she needed more than anything was a hug from Archie. He was the only family she had left and the only family she needed.
When she finished dressing, she gathered her belongings and made her way downstairs. Jimmy and Sophie were ready to leave, so Carmen drove them to a small private airfield outside the city where Jimmy had left his plane.
Jimmy sat in the front passenger seat of a fifteen-year-old SUV talking local politics with the Carmen, while April and Sophie sat in the back staring out the window. April was so wrapped up in her own grief, she barely registered the passing scenery and the piles of trash overflowing the streets. The stink and squalor. The depressed faces of the mothers and children waiting in long lines for food and basic supplies April took for granted.
“Those poor people,” Sophie muttered. “It breaks my heart.”
“This is what Communism looks like, Duchess.” Jimmy glanced over the seat. “Makes you wanna find a World War II vet back home and shake the old timer’s hand, don’t it?”
April’s eyes cleared, and she finally saw what Sophie was looking at and felt the vibe of despair.
There were people in the world with real problems, while she had a clean, safe place to live, food to eat, and a little boy at home who was healthy and thriving. Instead of counting her blessings, she was mooning over a broken heart. She needed to get over it. Dwelling on something she couldn’t change was a complete waste of time.
“Can I use your phone again, Sophie?”
“Absolutely.” She dug it out of her purse. “Molly didn’t phone you back, but that’s not surprising. She’s got pregnancy brain and keeps misplacing her mobile among other things. Try phoning Anders.”
He picked up on the second ring. “Hey, Sophie. What’s up?”
“It’s April. I don’t have my phone. I’m calling to check on Archie.”
“The little guy is doing fine. Did you try calling Molly?”
April smiled at Sophie with gratitude. “Yeah, but she hasn’t called me back. I’d like to speak to Archie, if I can.”
“Her ringer must be off. I’m in the studio, but I’ll walk over. Hang on.”
“Sure.”
The old SUV was on the mountain now leaving the valley. The scenery here was drastically different form the squalor of the city. Here, there were lush trees and rolling hills and a crystal blue sky that went on forever. The tension in April’s body lightened. “How are things?”
“Great,” Anders said. “Oh, hey, a man stopped by to see you the other day and left a letter for you. He said his name was Mika.”
April stiffened. “He didn’t go anywhere near Archie, did he?”
“No, the kids were in the pool, and I didn’t let him inside the house. Why? You sound upset.”
“Donovan Mika is dangerous, Anders. He tried to shoot my father. I should have warned you, but I never thought he’d figured out my connection to your family.”
“Calm down, it’s okay, April. He was very polite and unassuming. He seemed genuinely concerned about your safety and didn’t ask about Archie at all.”
“That makes me feel a little bit better, but please don’t let your guard down around him if he comes back.”
“I doubt he’ll be back. He could barely walk. He was on crushes and his whole leg was in a cast. Hey, there’s Molly. Hang on.”
April’s heart lifted as she listened for the sound of her son’s sweet voice among the other children chattering in the background.
“Where’s Archie?” Anders said to his wife. “His mama wants to talk to him.”
“He’s not here.”
April’s grip tightened as she held the receiver closer to her ear.
There was some shuffling as Molly took the phone from her husband. “Hey, April. Not to worry. Archie’s fine. I don’t know where my brain is at these days. I forgot to mention to Anders that your father picked him up last night.”