
Crystals for Emotional Well-Being
No doubt you have been stuck at some point with some feelings that you didn’t want to express. Finding relief from negative emotions such as anger, grief, and jealousy can be a steep learning curve. It takes a lot of awareness and some help from our crystal friends to provide a way through our emotional experiences.
Crystals take us to a new emotional level where feelings about ourselves and others become lighter, transforming our moods in the process. The mind is cleansed, the heart is free, and we feel open to a whole new way of living!
Learn How to…
- ◆ Clear your anger, heal your wounded heart, and learn forgiveness.
- ◆ Attract love and joy for fulfillment.
- ◆ Use crystals to attract romance and deal with relationship issues.
How to Use Crystals for Emotional Clearing
You might have heard the quote “I think, therefore, I am,” from Rene Descartes, the seventeenth-century French philosopher. That is so true! When you carry excess emotions such as anger or jealousy, biochemical reactions occur in your body that pump out more adrenaline, causing your heart to beat faster and nasty acids to churn in your stomach. So you feel bad in your head and in your body, and a vicious cycle begins.
Working with crystals gives your emotions a chance to restore balance before negative energy manifests at the physical level.
Clearing Anger
There is no greater poison than anger, says the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan Buddhist spiritual leader. Anger clouds your thinking and your ability to act in a reasonable way. You can also feel it physically as a raised heart rate, high blood pressure, and sour acids in your stomach. If we have an opportunity to consciously manage our negative emotions before they turn into anger or rage, our physical, mental, and social health will not suffer.
Anger acts as an energy blocker, usually at the solar plexus chakra. Blockages due to anger also often occur at the throat chakra, due to repressing words about feelings, and in the root and sacral chakras if you have suffered abuse. These chakras shut down their energy flows when affronted with negative energy to protect them from an energy overload. However, when chakras are in the “off” position, they don’t let in much healing light and can block out love and compassion, the anecdote to anger.
Now you may think if your anger is really big, you’ll need a really big crystal. In fact, even a small one about an inch in diameter will help. Try selecting a crystal from this list to help clear negative energy:
- ◆ Hematite—When you feel unsettled, hematite is a great grounder of emotions. Your anger will be more self-contained, and your thoughts will become gentler. Hold a tumbled piece 1- to 2-inches long in each hand. You might notice a feeling of heaviness as your emotional body sinks back into alignment and a sense of relaxation comes over you. You can move beyond your self-limitations.
- ◆ Kyanite—Do you get out of sorts with your thoughts and start to build a story that might or might not be true? Eventually even thinking about something you have little or no control over can lead to anger, but kyanite will cut through these mental illusions. Wearing a small piece as a jewelry item will help keep your mental fields aligned for a higher purpose.
- ◆ Smoky quartz—Wearing smoky quartz, one of the master healers, helps unblock and open chakras and absorbs negative energy. Its crystalline structure is able to take on the brunt of heavy emotions. However, it does absorb a lot of negative energy into its structure, so you will need to cleanse and recharge it more often depending on the intensity of your release.
If you find that you are truly having a hard time letting go of your anger, you might also want to try meditating with a love stone (discussed a little later in this chapter) or one of the Master Healers.
True Forgiveness
Forgiveness does not erase the wounds that have already occurred; it’s simply a limit on punishing those who have hurt us. It takes effort and courage to let go. However, it’s imperative that we do it. Hanging onto grudges kills the soul.
The shadow parts of ourselves are whatever we have shoved aside to either ignore or deal with later. By knowing ourselves better and embracing those shadow parts, we bring love and light into all dimensions of our being. It is from this enlightened space within us that forgiveness can be found and expressed to others. If you are not there yet and have some forgiving to do, a spiritual cleanse is a good way to prepare yourself. By cleansing yourself consciously rather than disassociating from the shadow, you will free yourself from negative feelings.
The following crystals are good to support a spiritual cleanse:
- ◆ Blue lace agate—A member of the agate family, the soft baby-blue color of blue lace agate will connect you with your spiritual gifts and provide nonjudgmental support and loving, unconditional energy.
- ◆ Moonstone—The ultra yin energy of moonstone provides motherly, unconditional love and acceptance. It is best worn at the heart or solar plexus chakra but can be worn anywhere else on the body.
- ◆ Rhodochrosite—This golden pink crystal with white banding provides renewal and a way to turn self-criticism, anger, and loathing into compassion, love, and self-acceptance.
- ◆ Rose quartz—This master healer is a heart chakra opener. Taken at this level of healing, rose quartz provides self-support and asks you to move forward, leave the past, and step into your spiritual glory.
- ◆ Rutilated quartz—This quartz crystal with its fine “angel hairs” breaks up old energy patterns and promotes clarity on issues. Rutilated quartz helps move you past outdated thought patterns so you can embrace new values.
- ◆ Selenite—Selenite is like frozen white light and will offer support and a sense of purpose from your higher self. It is best used overnight at the crown chakra so you can receive higher guidance without interference from daily distractions.
- ◆ Sugilite—If you are holding onto old judgments, sugilite helps you become more sensitive to higher spiritual values and will support your alignment with them as you develop more conscious awareness.
To initiate an energy cleanse, it is best to spend some quiet time away from others and begin by holding one of the suggested crystals in your left hand at your heart chakra. Focus on what you need to release as deeply as necessary, whether it is pain or anger. Continue to hold the crystal until you feel the energy clearing. If you experience a dramatic or sudden release of pent-up emotional energy—what we call a catharsis—do not be too concerned. Breathe deeply and rapidly and it will pass.
You will know that you have cleared what is needed when you feel a sense of peace and are more relaxed. The best compliment is from others who know you well and can observe your positive changes. Sometimes it takes a while for these changes to settle in and be integrated within yourself.
The 12 Love Stones
For centuries, both women and men have used gemstones and crystals to attract their love partners. However, when our love needs are not met, our expectations about life are left in an uncomfortable spiritual position. We begin to doubt, rather than be in wonderment about the process of relating to another person. If you exchange crystals with a friend, you will be forever connected to each other. So, to make that lifelong connection with someone extra special, choose one of the love stones!
Crystals have magical properties that break through personal barriers and help to attune oneself to a higher love vibration. The easiest way to get crystal energy is to wear the crystal as a pendant. The effects of crystal healing at the emotional and psychological levels are subtle. As your personal vibration changes to a higher, more positive outlook, you will attract your soul mate to you. If you already have a partner, your love relationship will deepen.
Some key crystals are useful in healing relationship issues. If you wish to combine a few of the crystals for help with multiple issues, you can combine three or four crystals—but no more because your heart will be busy enough as it is:
- ◆ Amethyst—Known to heal the heart at the highest spiritual levels, amethyst purifies negative emotions and promotes feelings of flexibility, cooperation, and peace. Amethyst provides protection and balance during major personal transitions and reduces feelings of being victimized by others. It also supports all aspects of spiritual growth with peace and calm to fulfill one’s mission on Earth; it helps you love again and again.
- ◆ Aquamarine—Strengthens one’s resolve to feel that life has purpose. This crystal is very protective and helps you remain centered through complex issues. Aquamarine is excellent for dispelling fear.
- ◆ Bloodstone—Dispels discouragement and gives strength and endurance to withstand endless difficulties. This crystal reduces stress and anxiety. Bloodstone revitalizes and encourages unselfishness in relationships.
- ◆ Carnelian—Eliminates feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. This stone is especially good for recovery after rejection by your lover. It transmutes sadness in your heart into the initiative to do something positive about the problem. This crystal encourages enthusiasm and is good for giving vibrancy to one’s sexuality.
- ◆ Emerald—A very ancient love stone, it helps soften arrogance and promote cooperation. Emerald dispels negative thoughts and helps you hold onto what is practical. It cools an angry heart and promotes divine love and peace. This crystal is excellent for preserving love that is maturing into a long-term relationship.
- ◆ Gold—Symbolizes the purity of spirit and activates one’s highest potential. Gold promotes inner beauty and purifies negative energy. It can lessen the traumatic experience of learning one’s lessons. Gold helps eliminate feelings of inferiority, depression, anger, and the sense of overwhelming responsibilities.
- ◆ Jade—Known as “a stone of fidelity,” jade (jadeite) is soothing for the emotions and helps keep the peace in community and family relations. Improves self-worth and self-sufficiency; promotes peace, harmony, and tranquility through emotional detachment; and is excellent for recovery after an unpleasant experience (surgery, divorce, funerals, etc.).
- ◆ Hematite—Gives emotional support to a new love and protects the heart from small “love wounds.” The shiny surface reflects back negativity and helps reduce stress to the whole body. Hematite also helps ground love energy so it doesn’t fly away when challenged.
- ◆ Kunzite—Opens the emotional heart to the highest level. Because this gemstone has a high lithium content (used in psychiatric medicine), emotional stress and loneliness can be alleviated. Just looking at kunzite provides a sense of peace and stimulates sensuality. It allows you to surrender rather than resist.
- ◆ Malachite—Clears the heart of past experiences by unblocking and absorbing any negative energies. Malachite allows you to stay tolerant, loyal, and practical. It gives courage and helps dispel fear in the relationship. Malachite helps you break free of self-denial and repeating old love patterns and promotes responsibility and fidelity in partnerships.
- ◆ Rose quartz—The number one love stone, rose quartz opens the heart for love and gives love to the wearer who might otherwise have trouble giving love to himself or others. Rose quartz shows you the power of “love conquers all.” This crystal brings softness to hardened hearts, teaching you to trust. It dispels negative emotional states, such as despondency and possessiveness, and promotes harmonious relationships. Rose quartz is very calming and loving.
- ◆ Ruby—Another ancient love stone that is still very popular today, ruby encourages romantic love and promotes the ideal relationship. This crystal brings focus to the heart and releases disoriented and trapped love energy. It protects the heart from unnecessary love-suffering and promotes the attainment of love objectives: health, happiness, wealth, and spiritual knowledge.
If you need to attract a new partner, to move on with a new relationship, or to help heal the one you have, read the descriptions again and then select the crystal that best fits your situation.
Opening Up to Joy
Many crystals will modify your mood and uplift your feelings. Some crystals seem so serious with their energy, focusing your mind on troubles, cleansing, clearing, and healing. Make a special “stress day” pouch of crystals to alleviate your mood. Pack a pouch with opal, rose quartz, moonstone, and citrine. Add a wrapped gummy bear candy to absorb the lovely crystal energies and eat it later when you need an additional perk!
Take a break once in a while and just feel really good and happy. Here are some more crystals to perk you up:
- ◆ Clear quartz—A clear quartz crystal with a rainbow is also a mood-lightener. The rainbow neutralizes and dissolves grief and other sadness and restores feelings of joy.
- ◆ Herkimer diamond—Glittery and seems to dance in the light, it brightens and enlivens your aura by clearing out stale energy. Even the smallest ones rolling around in your hand provide a sense of fun and adventure. It’s like taking a train ride through Disneyland. You’ll never want to get off!
- ◆ Opal—This is delightful for sour-mood interventions and provides a great display of colors. The colors in an opal brighten the colors in your aura.
With the play of light or luminescence, any crystal will generally light up your heart and open your third eye to the special pleasures of life. Open up your heart chakra and your eyes and look around at the gift of living at this very moment.
Lucky You!
There are so many crystals for luck, but in this part of the book, let’s focus on wishing. You’ve heard songs about “wishing upon a star,” and you can wish with crystals, too. It’s actually a form of programming, but if you use the right crystal, your wish might come true. How, you ask? The crystal amplifies the thought energy and lines up the universal energy for wish fulfillment.
Which crystal is best to use for wishing? A double-terminated clear quartz crystal provides one end for giving and one end for receiving energy. After you have programmed your crystal for positive manifestation, hold it at the center of your heart chakra. Visualize what it is that you’re wishing for. See the request going out as white light from your heart center through the tip of the crystal with your request. If the wish is your heart’s highest purpose, you should see some results. How soon depends on how long it takes the universe to line up the energies.
Co-creating with the universe is tricky business, so be very specific about what you ask for. Your intention will be aligned with the universal laws of attraction. Here are some crystals that can be particularly useful in this regard:
- ◆ Rainbow moonstone has also been used for wishing. The colorful display looks similar to the energy glow from the aura around the human body. This energy charges your wishful intention. Place the crystal at your third eye and project the image of what you wish into the crystal. See yourself actually getting your wish fulfilled and then wear the crystal for 7 to 21 days to affect the change.
- ◆ Take any seven small crystals of the same kind, preferably Herkimer diamonds or another double-terminated crystal. Prepare each one with a prosperity wish programmed into each crystal. Wear these seven wish crystals in a pouch and hold them from time to time to reinforce the energy of the wish.
- ◆ A clear quartz crystal with a rainbow configuration, is helpful to manifest wishes. First, prepare your crystal by programming it with your wish. Then wear the rainbow crystal so your wish goes into your aura and attracts the wish to you. This technique of programming a rainbow crystal can also be used to attract a soul mate.
Granting a wish for someone else is easy to set up. Write the wish on a piece of paper and place it inside a special wish box with a lid. Place the seven wish crystals on top of the wish sheet in the box, close the lid, and leave it in place without disturbing it for three days. On the third day, remove the paper and burn it, sending the message and the accumulated energy into the universe for manifestation.
Crystals for Emotional Healing
It seems as though more and more people are suffering from deep emotional wounds these days. The prescriptions for antidepressants are skyrocketing, and we all have a friend or two who’s down in the dumps. That’s where crystals can really help, by gently releasing energy so it flows more freely in your subtle body. Crystals can help convert negative energy into positive vibrations, but they are not a substitute for treating more serious mental health issues. For severe depression or anxiety, seek professional medical advice. Remember that people will experience crystals differently. If one crystal doesn’t work for you, go to another type.
The next time you’re feeling blue, bring out some of these big guns:
- ◆ Amazonite—Soothes; is good for those undergoing emotional processes; and pacifies worries, fear, and aggravations. It’s excellent for children, neurological problems, and nerves.
- ◆ Amber—Calms nerves, enlivens the body, and rekindles energy.
- ◆ Amethyst—Releases negative-thought programming, clears emotional blockages, moves you into cooperation with other supportive forces, allows you to use sensibility with your emotions, and moves you into a more conscious state to see the cause and effect of your emotional responses.
- ◆ Apache tear—Good for sorrow, grief, and forgiveness, it removes self-limitations.
- ◆ Aquamarine—Quiets fears, phobias, and anxiety; releases expectation; shields, stabilizes, and eases discomforts and hiccups caused by fear.
- ◆ Aventurine—Purifies the emotional body and tranquilizes nerves.
- ◆ Bloodstone—Grounds the emotional heart, alleviates distress and anxiety.
- ◆ Blue lace agate—Alleviates spiritual tension and emotional intensity.
- ◆ Botswana agate—Soothes repressed emotions and moves you beyond limits; it’s excellent for smokers whose nerves are on edge.
- ◆ Calcite (all colors)—Clears chakras by color. Calcite is a gentle cleanser of emotional upsets, helps release emotional restrictions.
- ◆ Carnelian—Works with emotional states such as envy, fear, rage, and sorrow. Moves negative states into states of love; dispels apathy and encourages trust by connecting the lower chakras (base, sacral, and solar plexus) to the heart.
- ◆ Chrysocolla—Promotes emotional strength, stabilizes emotions, balances expression and communication, and releases distress and guilt.
- ◆ Chrysoprase—Used to alleviate alcoholism and ease feelings of depression. It allows you to take one day at a time and build on successes through small transformations.
- ◆ Citrine—Calms fears, promotes happiness, and frees energy for spontaneous expression of positive energies.
- ◆ Clear quartz—Unblocks and transmutes negative energy. Dispels negative dispositions.
- ◆ Emerald—An emotional heart soother, this crystal provides peace at the heart level, especially about matters that trigger anxiety.
- ◆ Fluorite—All colors of fluorite calm the emotional body. Purple fluorite helps to break up emotional blockages.
- ◆ Kunzite—With its high lithium content, it settles emotions quickly. Promotes feelings of well-being and peace.
- ◆ Lapis lazuli—Provides objective insight and mental clarity. Unblocks and releases emotions from the heart for self-acceptance. Reconnects the wounded parts to the whole.
- ◆ Malachite—Provides a strong release of negative emotions; best used in conjunction with rose quartz to bring peace after emotional release.
- ◆ Moonstone—Reduces emotional tension, provides missing emotional nurturing, and helps bring a sense of peace to the emotions.
- ◆ Moss agate—Soothes self-esteem, promotes positive traits and emotional strength; good for women’s healing and nurturing.
- ◆ Obsidian—Powerfully releases negative emotions, overpowers old energy patterns by piercing any resistance, transmutes energy blockages into white light.
- ◆ Opal—Brightens negative attitudes and dispels dark moods. Helps to discern the truth and brings hope and happiness to the wearer.
- ◆ Peridot—Targets jealousy and releases self-centeredness. Restores inner balance that is overpowered by self-destruction.
- ◆ Rhodochrosite—A soothing emotional balancer used after a period of emotional stress. Works well to dissolve and transmute feelings of guilt.
- ◆ Rose quartz—Soothes and purifies all emotions. Provides loving energy and comfort to those with raw emotional states.
- ◆ Rutilated quartz—Pulls apart complex emotional issues and unblocks chakras to allow negative energies to dissolve.
- ◆ Selenite—Allows you to reach beyond your emotional state to higher psychospiritual centers such as altruism, compassion, and love.
- ◆ Smoky quartz—Excellent for stubborn people who refuse to let go of negative emotions. A powerful healer that dissolves and transmutes energy.
- ◆ Sodalite—Calms emotions and numbs mental chatter.
- ◆ Tiger eye (yellow)—Provides mental and emotional discipline for people who are unable to appreciate self-responsibility.
- ◆ Tourmaline—Green tourmaline keeps energy circuits open and energy flowing. Pink tourmaline activates and soothes the heart and prevents victimization.
- ◆ Turquoise—Provides emotional detachment and focus on self-accomplishment without entanglement with others.
Relationships
Relationships may seem tricky to master, especially as there aren’t really manuals or guides written specifically for the people involved in the relationship. So, you may feel like you are on your own except remember that you do have your pals with you—crystals! They are a life saver when it comes to holding energy for relationships. They can keep you grounded and aware, dissolve anger, open your heart, sort out your thinking, and still give you lots of energy to have some fun! Let’s have a closer look at the chief crystals for love-seekers:
- ◆ Beginning a new relationship. So, you are high on love (it’s actually the dopamine being released from your brain). You can’t focus on anything and you are waiting for the next text message. A grounding crystal can be helpful because you need to keep your feet on the ground. Try a bracelet of tiger eye, hematite, or malachite. If you need more self-confidence, wear carnelian. This is a great time to have a friendship ring before the diamond ring!
- ◆ Challenges and struggles. This is another stage in the relationship journey when the testing occurs. You check to see if the other is made of enough tough stuff to endure a longer lasting relationship. Keep the lines of communication open. Use crystals such as turquoise or smoky quartz to cool off your temperament and to open self-expression rather than buttoning-up your mouth. Use rose quartz liberally to keep the heart open for when you want to kiss and make up.
- ◆ Partnering together. This stage is finally where you each want to be. You worked together to arrive at a mutually agreeable place and have made commitments to each other to maintain the relationship. Add labradorite for perseverance of the spiritual journey, citrine for continued happiness, and pink tourmaline to keep the electricity of the relationship alive. Have you thought of doing a crystal healing on each other?
- ◆ Mature relationships. Did you forget something? Yes, sustaining your relationship is good but have you been helping yourselves grow spiritually, too? Add in lapis lazuli, larimar, blue lace agate, blue fluorite, and kunzite. Use clear quartz crystal balls around the room to help radiate your love and nurturing for each other. Use an aromatherapy diffuser to create a soft, loving vibration in the room.
- ◆ Ending relationships. Change happens, feelings get hurt, and then the crystals come out to ease the pain. Sometimes, a good grounding crystal like hematite works well. Zoisite helps you see where things went wrong and helps patch up those holes in your heart. A good protective crystal is rhodochrosite. It’s pink and black and sort of looks like a hurt heart. However, its magic is that it will keep your heart open for more loving moments while stopping yourself from going crazy grasping for what must be released. When it’s time to let go and move on, it’s time to hit the “rhod.”
CARVED IN STONE
Emerald: I activate your heart to follow love and compassion to its fullest. I provide self-acceptance. I ask you to surrender to divine love and feel the abundance of your true spirit.