We are leaving the Eagle Nest early this morning. The treads turn once more, and the horn bellows a final goodbye to the people who helped us. That great stone tower casts a great shadow above us. I had gotten used to the cool artificial air of the city. As the massive gates open, we sail between them and out into the desert. Beyond the grasp of the shadow of our Nest, the heat returns in full force. Even through our own cooling systems, I can still feel it. The white, blinding sun greets us once again.
I was worried Ulric wasn’t going to show, but he did, walking onto the deck with his head held low. We haven’t spoken since the argument. There isn’t much that needs to be said. What more can you say to a man who now shares a different perspective on this place, the Reich’s origins, and the original Führer himself? You can’t say much. You simply prevent him from foolishly spreading the words to others.
More sleepless nights haunt me. Guilt over it all. Getting the Howling Dark back into operation had given me no relief. The memories of our dead men still flash through my mind, as I toss and turn without relief. If I just hadn’t made that maneuver we would have been at Eagle Nest #18 by now, and my men would not have died. Ulric would never have discovered that damned book. My brother wouldn’t be having some kind of mental breakdown. This is all my fault, and I know it. That voice keeps whispering into my ear every night. As a captain, I had a solemn obligation to protect my crew, and as a brother, I had a sacred obligation to protect my blood. I failed at both.
Some Aryan I truly am.
I stand on the Bridge of the Howling Dark, my arms held at my sides. The glass has been replaced, and the floor swept. My cigar dangles out of the side of my mouth, now reduced to a small, glowing bud of smoldering distraction. I pay it no mind, even as its falling ashes begin to kiss my cheek. I think I’ve smoked about five today, and it’s not even noon.
The crew on deck go about their duties, and the engine continues its usual hum. Volker stands at my side, checking over the dashboard. He makes idle chat while we go about our business. My responses to him are short. Much is on my mind.
Volker stands next to me, looking over the charts. We have maintained a relative silence between us, ever since Ulric and I set off in that ill-fated Camel—ever since I saw him give that farewell salute…my First Officer, ready to go down with the Howling Dark in the place of its departing Captain. The normal order now restored, I have been tending to my own duties, and he to his own. Eventually one of the things he says registers in my mind.
“So, where is your brother?” he asks in a casual manner. “He hasn’t come up to the Bridge all day.”
I pause, putting out the cigar butt in an ashtray.
“He’s been keeping to himself lately. I think the journey through the desert just tired him out,” I lie, focusing my attention on the buttons of the dashboard.
Volker nods his head in understanding.
“That was a pretty bold move of you to go and venture out into the Kiln, sir,” Volker tells me. “Not many captains would do that. The crew appreciated it.”
“I didn’t do it for the crew,” I say, the guilt coming back to me. “It was my order. So it was fitting that I go out.”
There is a lull in the conversation. I take another cigar out from my pouch. Luckily, I was able to refill my supply at the Eagle Nest. I bought around thirty for the journey.
“Don’t knock yourself up over it. The crew doesn’t blame you,” Volker reassures me. “In fact, if they think anybody is to blame, it’s the Scavenger.”
I pause, as the lighter stands still in front of my cigar. My mind goes numb, attempting to process what he just said. A chill goes through the cabin. Volker, realizing he just said something wrong, drops his head back down to the dashboard.
“What did you say?” I mutter, turning my head to Volker. He looks up, his face in a grimace.
“It’s just a dumb rumor, sir,” he says, attempting to brush it off. “I wouldn’t get too worked up over it.”
“Rumors are the news of the Kiln, Volker,” I say, my voice becoming dull and precise. I make my way toward him with cigar in mouth staring directly at the uncomfortable First Officer. “What did they say?”
“They think he intentionally didn’t call in the Aegir Drop…” he admits.
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” I spat, my eyes glaring back at him. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“It’s not like the men would do anything,” he says, raising his hands up. “He’s your brother.”
“He was talking about how the men were giving him odd looks. How the fuck did this rumor begin?” I growl, my body leaning over his. Volker looks at me with worry, as if he would rather be anywhere else. The engine still hums.
“He was talking to that Scavenger all the time…” he admits. “You know how they are. They try to connect the dots…”
My hand goes to my brow as I walk away. “I never should have let him keep that old man.”
Volker says nothing.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” I yell, my arms flying up into the air. I almost drop the cigar. Volker takes a few steps back.
“You left immediately after the Drop. The rumors didn’t begin until you were already gone…”
“No,” I say, smoke coming from my mouth. “Why didn’t you tell me they were suspicious over the Scavenger. I would have just had him kill the fucker before any of this trouble started.”
“It was mostly just suspicion,” he says. “It wasn’t really dangerous.”
“Suspicion is always dangerous down here,” I say.
Suddenly, it was like a calm had come over my body. One decision pops into my mind. A remedy to resolve this entire situation.
“He needs to kill the Scavenger,” I say. “That’s the only way he’ll win back their trust,” I say this, but in my head I know this is the only way he’ll win back my trust. I don’t know what has happened to my own brother. He’s changed. It’s my fault that he’s changed. I need to fix this.
“Alright, sir,” Volker agrees.
My heart drums inside my chest. This is the only way. I don’t know what that old man said to him. I wasn’t down there to hear every one of their jailhouse talks. Perhaps he said something? Did I allow a Scavenger to infect my brother’s mind? That was when he started talking ill of the Kiln. He saw me as a savage. It all makes sense now. I let the smoke out of my mouth and it climbs to the ceiling above.
“It’s the best shot we have,” I mutter, looking down to the deck below.
With every step I hear the clang of my feet against metal. Clank. Clank. Clank. With every step I take, the tempo quickens. I make my way down the winding stairs of the tower and go underneath the deck. Strolling through the cramped corridors, I make my way to Ulric’s room. My fist clangs against the metal three times. I wait. No answer. I bang against the door three more times. More waiting. There is no answer.
As I stride down the hall again, I go down another flight of steps. The sound of sand splashing against the bottom of the ship fills the corridor. Voices radiate across the hall. They become louder. When I turn the corner, I see Ulric once again in a chair with that damned book in hand, talking to the old man. His head spins toward me. I don’t say a word and walk over to him, turning my attention to the Scavenger. My hand collides with the side of his bearded face and he crumples against the wall.
Ulric yells, standing up and lunging at me. I shake him off, pressing him against the iron bars. As I turn around, I see him staring at me with open eyes.
“They suspect you,” I whisper to him. Ulric’s shocked face falls, he looks down to the old man who is picking himself back up.
“Who?” he asks.
“The crew.”
“About what?”
I let him go, and exit the iron cell. I take a puff of the cigar and smoke floats about the dimly lit room. “They suspect for some reason that you intentionally didn’t call in the Aegir Drop.”
Ulric lets out a laugh at the idea. “You were the only one who didn’t want me to call in the Aegir Drop.”
“I know.”
“And so because of your mistake I am getting blamed?” he argues, laughing even more. “What a great situation. Thank you, Ansel.”
“You were the one who wanted to keep the Jew. They wouldn’t be suspicious of you in the first place if you hadn’t been having these private chats with this old man,” I spit, pointing an armored finger at the prisoner.
Ulric sits down. I pull up a chair and sit down with him as well.
“I don’t know what is going on with you, Ulric,” I say.
“What do you care about, Ansel…?” he says, staring right through me, his eyes glazing over.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I mutter, looking at him.
“I cared about being a part of a nation that was founded under the ideal of peace. A nation so intelligent and cultural that it spread across a continent and united lesser people. Eventually just…absorbing them. Letting them all become Aryan…” he whispers to himself.
“When I lived in Germania there was a sense that I was a part of something special. The great domes and the mossy pillars held an awareness of history. It all did. I wanted to help preserve that culture. I joined the Knights. Paid my dues, serving in the Kiln…I thought that this place wouldn’t be much different than Germania…that the Reich could do no wrong…”
We sit in silence. The old man shifts uncomfortably.
“Then I saw you break that girl’s arm. I saw you smash that Jew’s face in, how you ignored me…just so you could serve some vendetta against them,” he mutters.
“Wait a minute—” I say, but he cuts me off, wanting to finish. My fists clench.
“I started thinking about what the point of the Kiln even was…why would we keep such a place that transforms normal Aryans into men who commit such acts…”
“Because they are Jews. They have always…”
“They. Aren’t. Jews.” Ulric says, pointing at the old man, “You know why I’ve been interrogating him? Something didn’t sit right with me. Ever since he showed me that cross and that book.”
“He’s lying to you, and you’re a fool to believe him,” I say, losing my patience.
“It wasn’t what he said,” Ulric admits, his voice lowering. “It was what I found. In that ship…” Ulric takes out a picture from his pocket. It was the image of the family, each with a star on their chest that said Jew. “Those people that attacked us on their ships aren’t the people that we banished during the Reclamation. They look different. They are darker skinned. They aren’t Jews.”
Ulric points to the cross on the old man’s neck, “It can’t be a coincidence that he has the same symbol that I do. Do you think the Reich would just adopt a Jew image? No. In our discussions, he has kept repeating the same things…that we lost our way. That we used to follow the same faith as him. And through that book you destroyed, the old My Struggle, I found out what it was. The Führer criticized it. It was something called Christianity.”
I lean back in my chair, looking on at my brother in disgust.
“He is a Christian, not a Jew,” he concludes. “And by what he’s said, the Kiln is the only reason why there are attacks on Aryans at all. It destroyed everything down south, and so they raid our people. Can’t you see how counterproductive it is?”
I take another puff from my cigar, smoke covering up my brother’s worried face. I close my eyes.
“You are going to execute him in two days,” I flatly state, leaning out of my chair and standing up. Ulric shakes his head in disagreement.
“I can’t do that, Ansel,” he mutters. “There is still so much I don’t know. I need answers.”
“No you don’t,” I state. “You need the crew off your back. You need to show me that I can still trust you.”
Ulric looks back at me, still sitting in his chair. A chill goes through the room. The constant sound of gravel smacking below us continues on. The engine hums.
“And if I don’t?” he asks, glaring at me.
“You will,” I mutter, looking back at him without any emotion. It was like I was looking at a hollowed-out version of somebody I once knew. “I need to know that you haven’t been compromised. That you’re still loyal.”
“To you?” he says.
“To the Reich,” I say. We look at each other.
“Like you care about loyalty to the Reich,” he says.
“You need to show that you are not going to be an issue for this crew or me,” I say. “If you’re loyal to the ship, you’re loyal to the Reich.”
“If you cared about what was best for the Reich, you’d know that I’m not losing my mind. You’d know I just want to get to the bottom of whatever is going on here. How can I serve something that’s based on a lie or a myth?”
“You can, because you will,” I say. “This isn’t a negotiable option. I’m trying to help you, you idiot. If the crew thinks you are a threat, they will do something. They’ve done horrible things to traitors before.”
“So I’m a traitor now,” Ulric says.
“That is your choice.”
Ulric pauses, looks at the old man, and then puts his head into his hands, cursing underneath his breath. I continue looking at him, listening in case I hear footsteps. Nobody ever comes down to this part of the ship, but I should still be careful.
“If I do this, you know that it won’t be over. After this journey I will still try to find answers,” he says. “Something is off.”
“I don’t care if you do,” I say. “Just put on a good show. Do your job, and let me continue with my own. If you want to ruin your own life with this fantasy, then that is fine by me.”
“You saw the pictures, Ansel.”
“I did.”
“And you won’t even question them?”
“It’s not my job to. The Kiln has been good to me. The Reich has been good to me,” I state, standing and putting the chair up against the wall. “I know my place. Now learn yours.”