Chapter One

Living a Simply Luxurious Everyday Life

Life is not graded on how fast you can move through it but rather how much you can enjoy it.

— Mary Carlomagno



In the sixteen months following my move to Bend, Oregon, in the summer of 2015, I left my new hometown on only one weekend. In the three years leading up to my move, I had flown more miles, seen more places and more countries than in my entire previous life. All that travel was intoxicating, and while it still is (as this book is being published I have just returned from Provence), in Bend I settled into a life that I loved more completely, sincerely, and serenely than anything I had experienced before.

Choosing Bend and then having the good fortune to land a job there played a significant role in my settling in. But as I gathered my thoughts in preparation for this second book and its founding premise, I realized that settling in had more to do with the person I had become and less about a geographical location on a map.

The last paragraph in the last chapter of my first book, Choosing the Simply Luxurious Life: A Modern Woman’s Guide, encourages the reader to continue to grow. So long as we choose to continually learn, we move forward toward a life that is more in tune with our values and thus one that gives rise to even more appreciation and satisfaction. Since the debut of my lifestyle blog The Simply Luxurious Life, I have pursued one overarching goal: discovering how to reach one’s full potential and helping readers from around the globe — no matter their age, ethnicity, gender, values, relationship status, or money in the bank — to understand what they are capable of, if only they had the tools.

The tools are plenty, and they are the strengths we are born with and the skills we can learn; in chapters eight and nine, I will explain in detail what they are and how to cultivate them. I myself am on a journey of self-growth and discovery, and the learning continues with each day’s passing, which is why I feel at peace in my life at this moment. I am savoring the everydays, each and every one.

When a friend of my mother asked her how I was doing after living in Bend for several months, she said, “It would take a stick of dynamite to get her to leave.” She was exaggerating, but not by much. I admit that living in Bend has made me very happy, but the deeper truth is that I have fallen in love with my everyday routine and am still enamored. Does it change? Do I tweak it from time to time? Absolutely, but the more I do, the more I realize that so long as I know what makes the everyday sing, I can do so wherever I call home. It all begins with getting back to simple.

 

 

The Definition of True Luxury

The most common mistake people make is believing the term “luxury.” It’s become an excuse for a lack of common sense and invariably stands for over-priced, poorly considered products, whether it’s a hotel, an apartment block, a handbag, or a holiday.

— Jasper Morrison

 

The beautiful quality of focusing on simple luxury is that we pay careful attention to the ease and comfort that luxury is intended to provide. Luxury is defined as a state of great comfort or something that is difficult to obtain, but as British designer Jasper Morrison points out, too often the first half of the definition is forgotten, and often people seek luxury as a way of defining themselves to the world, meanwhile paying no real attention to the ease that luxury is supposed to bring. For example, haute couture would certainly be seen as a luxury, but if, when you purchase a tailor-made dress for $4,000, you are not at ease because the purchase puts you in debt up to your ears, that is not comfortable and therefore is not luxury.

On the other hand, if you choose to live in a smaller home rather than a large one — and in so doing create a lifestyle that instills a sense of ease and tranquility and allows you to live well — then you are choosing true luxury even though to the outside world your choices may seem modest.

The definition of true luxury will vary from person to person, based on circumstances and personal preferences, but the key is to remember what true luxury is: great comfort paired with the acquisition of something that took time and conscious effort. And since we are defining luxury, we should also define the concept of being difficult to obtain; it means “needing much effort or skill to accomplish, deal with, or understand.”

When we choose to live a simply luxurious life and focus on attaining true luxury, our decisions are carefully and thoughtfully reached. So while the Lanvin flats we purchased may seem excessive to outsiders, we know we have a carefully curated wardrobe, with relatively few items in our closets; we save up to invest in quality over quantity, and we understand the concept of cost per wear (there is a brief definition in chapter eleven).

In other words, in our pursuit of true luxury, we respect our budget, increase our self-confidence, and allow ourselves the comfort provided by the design of the shoe.

True luxury is not . . .

 

Owning or Renting a Home That Eats Up Too Much of Your Budget so that you cannot enjoy the everyday. I am always amazed at the amount of space or choice of neighborhood many people require to feel that they are living well, even when they can barely afford it. While it may be nice to live in a large place or in a ritzy locale, if doing so exhausts your budget so that you are working just to pay the mortgage or rent and can enjoy little else, you need to reassess. True luxury is a life of comfort and ease, not stress and exhaustion.

 

Keeping Up with Others’ Definition of “the Good Life.” When we follow others, we let go of trying to discover ourselves and thus lose track of the best way to attain a truly fulfilling life. If you pattern your life after what others have done, you ignore the unique person you are and the talents you can offer. Choose to live a life that sits well with you at night, a life that makes you want to pinch yourself not because others are applauding but because you are content with yourself and your choices.

 

More Food, Clothes, Friends, Money, Cars. It is easy to think that having “more” will bring us greater joy, comfort, fulfillment, and pleasure, but ultimately, having more breeds more stress, clutter, and drama, and often a thicker waistline. Anything we bring into our lives or help foster should be done with the intention to create a life of quality — worthwhile friendships, a body that can meet life’s demands, enough money to provide comfort as we live within our means, efficient and affordable transportation, and clothes that make us feel our best and last for many seasons.

 

A Handbag from the Design House of the Moment. If your choice of a handbag is based on a need to show the outside world that you have the latest creation by [insert designer name here] on your arm, then reassess. While many top designers offer quality, long-lasting designs, some do not. Choose a bag because it will last and work well with your life and because you love it.

 

Visiting Paris or New York City, if such destinations do not interest you. Not everyone finds pleasure and exhilaration in large metropolitan areas. It is important to seek out destinations that capture your attention and curiosity each time you read about them. Again, it is about understanding yourself, being honest with yourself, and then moving forward on your authentic path.

 

More Responsibilities and Power Positions. With responsibilities come power and potential respect; however, in order to do a quality job, we must carefully choose the responsibilities we welcome into our lives. In order to think clearly, make sound decisions, and respond and lead with poise and assuredness, we must have time to take care of ourselves and rejuvenate regularly.

 

Welcoming true luxury into our lives involves knowing what to say no to as well. By getting to the core of what each decision will bring into our lives, we can assess what will and what will not bring more ease and comfort into our everyday living.

 

 

The Necessary Ingredient for Luxury: Comfort

Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury.

— Coco Chanel

 

One hundred and thirty-five years ago, Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel was born, and her quote about luxury has always lingered in the back of my mind. After all, owning multiple homes and having endless amounts of money may indeed be someone’s definition of luxury, but it is how one spends their money and their time that determines whether it is a luxurious life.

The National Endowment for Financial Education reports that 70 percent of people who come into a financial windfall go broke within a few years. Whether it is poor money management or not having healthy relationships with friends and family, the pressures and lack of knowledge about how to handle the wealth ultimately destroy any opportunity for luxury the money originally presented.

However, that does leave 30 percent who have successfully managed their new good fortune. Needless to say, more money does not make you happier or more comfortable; it is how one goes about living life — big and everyday decisions, self-discipline, etc. — that determine whether a life is full of luxury and contentment.

Stylist Kate Schelter has an insightful approach to this issue: “Luxury is what comes naturally but needs working at through practice, determination, and fine-tuning. Luxury is feeling you do not need anything else to feel whole.” Below are a few additional mislabeled “luxurious” ways of living followed by a listing of actual sources of luxury.

 

Ten Things, Disguised as Luxury, That Cause Stress and Discontent

 

Working endlessly at an unfulfilling job to earn the big paycheck to pay for “luxurious” purchases and a “luxurious” lifestyle . . . Shoes you cannot walk in . . . A home whose upkeep prevents you from enjoying its supposed riches . . . Hershey’s Kisses (or other processed food) that is seemingly delicious but never satisfying, which leads to overeating, which leads to a bad mood and more . . . Purchasing anything that puts you in debt unnecessarily and gives you sleepless nights . . . Purchasing cheap travel tickets only to endure many stops and middle seat assignments . . . Living a life that only looks good on the outside . . . Saying yes to something you do not want, believe in, value, or have time to do, in order to please someone else . . . Living a busy life that leads to short, restless nights as you try to accommodate your demanding schedule . . . More food, larger portions.

 

Ten Things That Include Comfort and Thus Epitomize Luxury

 

Real luxury is the pleasure of a real life lived to the fullest and full of imperfections.

— The character Kate, in the film A Five Star Life

 

Time to do with as you please . . . Living in a clean, safe, welcoming home that has just enough space . . . Quality designer clothing that feels as good as it looks and will last for many seasons . . . Traveling on non-stop flights and paying for your ideal preferred seat . . . An uninterrupted night’s sleep (after a happy, productive day experienced through a well-balanced schedule) . . . Enjoying one dark chocolate truffle or piece of chocolate from a local chocolatier or homemade in your kitchen . . . Adhering to an eating regimen of moderation, not limitation . . . The voice and freedom to say no . . . Being able to purchase quality clothing, shoes, and accessories without going into debt, and feeling physically and mentally fabulous when you are wearing them . . . Living a life that is fulfilling and authentic despite criticism from those who do not understand.

 

Living a luxurious life does not require large amounts of money. What it does require is good decision making, a never-ending quest for knowledge, and the ability to live authentically and not be led around by the nose.

 

Comfort Begets Confidence

 

Comfort is the root of confidence and not the other way around.

— Haley Mlotek, in the New York Times Style Magazine

 

Confidence is attractive and can be deceiving. It is, however, hard to fake. The truth about confidence is that it is rooted in feeling comfortable. When a woman projects an air of confidence, she feels a sense of security, self-worth, and peace of mind, knowing she is able to think and live independently. Confidence is a dynamic condition that depends on understanding the fluid reality of life, the world, other people, etc. It requires us to always pursue knowledge, ask questions, and remain a participant in the world.

The quote above is from a 2016 article about the trend to no longer wear makeup. The article gave me pause because it is difficult to put down the masks we present to the world, as they are in many ways our armor, and it is far easier to just do what is expected, to project an image or idea that is easy for all to see and hear. Where do we find the comfort that is needed for the confidence we seek?

 

 

I can think of more than a few instances when I did not have confidence. For example, I became frustrated as I attempted to converse in French at a local conversation group or with friends and instructors who speak the language. I felt as though I was presenting an entirely different person, one that was not the real Shannon. I gave this some thought and realized why I was not enjoying myself: I was not comfortable and therefore could not relax and be confident. It is a vicious cycle. For quite a long while, I stopped going to the weekly conversations, choosing instead to study on my own. But I realized that in order to increase my comfort, I needed to stretch myself. It is a perplexing paradox. Yes, we need comfort to feel and reflect confidence, but it can be gained only if we choose to grow, learn, and step outside our comfort zone.

Below are a few arenas that require us to experiment, stretch ourselves, and try new things in order to gain the confidence we seek:

 

 

However, finding comfort requires seeking balance. Do not put yourself in uncomfortable scenarios all of the time. Stretch yourself just enough so that you are able to grow rather than regress. In the French conversation group, I was trying to develop new friendships at the same time I was learning a new language, and I found that I needed to separate the two so that I could be my confident, authentic self with those who were just beginning to know me. So I struck a balance, communicating with them that I wanted dearly to build friendships but felt learning a language simultaneously was not going to work for me.

When we can come home to a place that allows us to feel comfort, we can then be recharged to go back out and try something new, but we must have a sanctuary of comfort to which we can retreat to attain that fix. The sanctuary of comfort may be your house or apartment, or it may be a person, an activity, or a particular place. The solution begins with knowing yourself: knowing not only what you like and dislike, what makes you feel comfortable and uncomfortable, but why your feelings and preferences are what they are. Knowledge is truly power, not only as an approach to life, but also when it comes to understanding ourselves and living our best lives.

 

 

Some Examples of True Luxury

 

To live a luxurious life is to live in a state of great comfort. To an outsider, living luxuriously may appear extravagant or unnecessary, but defining what comfort or extravagant is changes depending upon one’s time in history, one’s circumstance, one’s personal economic situation, and the world’s economic situation.

In his Wall Street Journal article “Art for Life’s Sake,” Alain de Botton analyzes Adriaen van Utrecht’s painting Banquet Still Life. Botton points out that to bring such bounty to the table, it is necessary to appreciate its journey and not ignorantly dismiss the background to the gourmet feast that is presented. What a wonderful lesson for life and the riches we too often take for granted.

Below is a list of thirty true luxuries — some are tangible, and some can only be experienced. What they have in common is that in order to appreciate the riches life presents, we must be mindful of the journey that brought them to us. This simple lesson is one primary key to living a simply luxurious life.

True luxury is . . .

 

 

True luxury does not happen by accident, and it takes time to come to fruition. It does not need pomp and circumstance to attract attention. Its top quality, when experienced, will speak for itself. You enjoy it without a need for approval, but merely for the pleasures of self-satisfaction and achievement.

If we mistakenly purchase excess stuff, we are not making our lives more comfortable but rather bringing more stress into our lives. It is imperative that we live consciously, making decisions based on sound judgment and what is best for the life we want to live and not the life that others want us to live. Because if we choose to listen to what our lives are trying to tell us — about what works, what does not, and why — we will find ourselves living simply luxuriously each and every day in small and large ways.

 

 

Live Fully Each Day

 

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average life expectancy for a woman in the United States was 81.2 years in 2012. Having the opportunity to live to 81+ is wonderful, and exceeding it can be an even greater blessing if one is in good health. However, simply because the average is 81+ does not mean it is guaranteed. After all, this is an average; there are more than 320 million people living in the United States, many of whom are older, and some people will not make it to 81. But rather than focus on statistics like these, let’s instead become invigorated to live more fully each and every day.

Why? No matter what your hopes for your life may be, you are not guaranteed anything for certain. Yes, our decisions and proper planning and preparation play a significant effect on our life’s trajectory, but the factors we cannot control or predict — the people who cross our paths, world events, the economy, inventions that open an unexpected career path — can only be dealt with as we are introduced to them.

Often if we have had to struggle to achieve a worthwhile goal or suffered an unimaginable loss, there is a silver lining — a greater appreciation for life. And with that appreciation, when simple things and grand opportunities occur, we are more apt to seize them rather than dismiss them because we do not assume there will be another available when we are ready.

A few years ago, a quote from Oprah Winfrey in O, The Oprah Magazine caught my attention: “You can either waltz boldly onto the stage of life and live the way you know your spirit is nudging you, or you can sit quietly by the wall, receding into the shadows of your fears and self-doubt.”

Some days will be stellar, gold-star, don’t-want-them-to-end days, and then there will be some you will want to forget. And if you do have a bad day, learn, apologize if necessary, and then move forward, letting your actions speak for themselves. After all, we are not perfect.

But the goal is to always give our best. When we know we have done so, we sleep much better each night. Here are some ways to make sure you give your best:

 

Stop Postponing Your Life. If you have found someone you click with, do not assume that this will happen with everyone. By no means am I suggesting that you elope. You do not have to dive in headfirst, but recognize the possibilities when you see potential in a relationship or opportunity, and throw your weight in that direction.

 

Do Not Dismiss Happy Accidents. Whether it is a chance career opportunity or running into a dear friend, appreciate events that take you by surprise. You may not feel ready to act upon them, but make the most of such occurrences, and do not assume they will happen again. All we can be certain of is how we will respond when they occur. Seize these happy accidents.

 

Spread Kindness. Whether it is helping out without being asked, picking up a loved one’s favorite comfort food after a tough day, or some other act of kindness — each day, we should try to wake up determined to act with more care toward our fellow humans. Even being honest, especially if it is not what someone wants to hear, can be an act of kindness so long as we do it tactfully and lovingly. Being sincere when we say yes and refusing to play games, but rather simply saying no to something we do not want to do, are other forms of kindness to incorporate into our everyday lives.

 

Do What You Love. Do not be afraid to show your passions to others. When asked what you want to do, state your preference, or when given the chance to incorporate a taste of who you are, do it. When we muster up the courage to reveal a glimpse of our authentic selves, we open ourselves to amazing opportunities and connections.

 

Be Courageous. Choosing to live fully in the present does not mean we can select the emotions we will feel. In fact, such a choice will require us to feel the good and the bad — and feel them deeply at times. Why? Because we are opening ourselves; we are putting down our shields and letting ourselves be fully present. When we decide to be courageous, we are not removing fear; we are mastering it.

 

Master Your Mind. Your mind is the only thing keeping you from living in the present. Mastering your mind does not mean turning it off, but rather observing your thoughts and recognizing the power they could have if you acted upon them. At the end of chapter eight, I describe nine steps for making your mind your best asset.

 

The way we proceed through our days, in alignment with the purpose we wish to pursue, will determine what we bring into our lives and what we will let go. And just because life does not look the way we expected, happen when we are ready, or follow a foreseen path does not mean we should not seize it with all of our might.

In 2014, the New York Times ran a story under the headline “Does Everything Happen for a Reason?” The two authors, psychologists from Yale, first pointed out that regardless of whether one is religiously inclined, where one lives, and even one’s age, humans are inclined to accept that certain things happen for a reason, if only for reassurance that life can be fair. The writers concluded: “Even those who are devout should agree that, at least here on Earth, things just do not naturally work out so that people get what they deserve. . . . Instead, the events of human life unfold in a fair and just manner only when individuals and society work hard to make it happen.” In other words, we have to be consciously present so that if indeed a happy accident occurs, we can put into motion the events that must then coincide to lead to the outcome we hope for. And that can only happen if we are living fully each and every day.

 

Designing Everydays That Flourish

 

The highs in life that we experience — landing a coveted job, celebrating a hard-earned diploma, signing the papers on a first house, reveling in the magic of a wedding day, visiting a dreamed-about destination, holding a first published book, savoring the arrival of retirement — are momentous occasions that are all the sweeter when you have made persistent efforts and investment to attain that dream.

Having had the opportunity to experience a few of these highs, I can say that the final result would not have been as sweet if I had not sincerely wanted what I sought nor enjoyed the innumerable everydays that paved the way to the end result.

 

Everyday Habits for a Life of Contentment

 

While setting, having, and pursing goals is a worthwhile way to achieve a life of contentment, we are mistaken if we think success is measured by the big moments in our lives, the times when we reach the pinnacle and experience such “highs.” Rather, success is how we live each day. Success is determined by our everyday approaches to living because we will have far more everydays than celebrations. And if we live the former well, we are cultivating a rich and rewarding life.

Below are daily habits to practice in your everyday life that will ensure a life full of contentment:

 

Facing Your Doubts. Psychologists say that self-doubt, a cousin of fear, is a natural, healthy human emotion. To not have doubt is to not care, to not be invested. Doubt can be used like a compass, pointing you toward your desires and passions.

 

Pursuing a Passion That Gives You Purpose. Upon discovering your deeper nature, you discover your strengths, and those strengths will help to lead you to your purpose. It is the marriage of pleasure and purpose that enables you to get lost in your everyday work. Being in love with what you are doing heightens the everyday and helps you reach your goals.

 

Tending to Your Health. First, know what having good health requires. In other words, understand how your body works, what it needs, and how you can fuel it and care for it properly. You might read How Not to Die, a plentiful resource that catalogs every illness and ailment, and answers your questions about reducing the chance of being afflicted with cancer, eliminating the risk of heart disease, and much more; the book provides great advice on what to eat, how much to exercise, and how it all comes together to improve your overall health. In chapter twelve, we will dive deeper into easy and enjoyable ways to tend to your health.

 

Nurturing Cherished Relationships. The importance of a healthy social network is crucial for enjoying our everydays and weathering unexpected bumps along the way. Such a network begins with the relationship we have with ourselves (see the next paragraph), but nurturing our friendships and romantic partnerships with little, thoughtful gestures, the way we speak, what we say, and how we prioritize and celebrate throughout the year can add up to a strong web of love and support.

 

Taking Care of You. As with the advice flight attendants give about oxygen masks, we must take care of ourselves — listen to what we need, and heed the requests of our mind and body — before we can give of our time and selves to others. As much as routines are helpful, sometimes we need a break, even a full day, to rejuvenate at a time when we could not have predicted or planned for it. We need to listen to these callings and grant ourselves the time to step back without wandering into the dark byways of guilt.

 

Thinking Quality Thoughts. We must condense the unnecessary that is not beneficial and curate a home that feeds us well, restores us, and returns us to our best selves. The same is true for our mind. We must toss the trash; we must not gobble up more and more worries and thoughts that will hold us back. Instead, we must be selective and particular about what we choose to think about and engage in. (Again, chapter eight discusses ways to master your mind.)

 

Giving What You Can and When You Can. Altruism and generosity without the expectation of something in return are magnificent acts. The key is to know your boundaries and limitations. Whether dealing with money, time, or energy, give what you can, when you can to the point where you are still able to live your life well.

 

Sleeping Well. Experiencing a deep, full sleep each night is key to healthy living and crucial to overall everyday contentment. Creating an evening ritual that tells your mind you are unwinding is a wonderful way to look forward to going to sleep.

 

Understanding That New Things Will Be Hard Initially but Will Get Easier with Time. Choose to try new things, and be firm with yourself to stick with your resolve, as it may be hard initially. So long as you truly want something or to learn something — a new language, a new skill, an improved social life, a better job, increased savings in your retirement account — do not let the first stage of struggle deter you. The struggling will pass, so long as you do not stop trying.

 

Leaning into Your Feelings. One greatly beneficial habit is leaning in and examining your emotions, especially those that make you uncomfortable. What do I mean by examining? For me, it is simply taking out my journal and, in the moment, labeling the emotion and why I am feeling it. I do not have to provide a solution and do not have to give the problem value; the objective is simply to understand myself better. Sometimes we really do not know why we are feeling a certain way because we are afraid to look at it squarely. When we do so, we can then move through the emotion, and it does not slow us down or hold the power it did previously.

 

Competing Only with the Person You Were Yesterday. Competition is best when you are your only opponent. I had the opportunity in 2014 to give a speech to the local high school’s National Honor Society inductees, and I chose this topic, as high school is a challenging, stressful time. While refraining from competing with others is a worthwhile lesson for teenagers, it is a valuable reminder in our everyday lives no matter what our age. We will find peace for our everydays when we know we did or were a little bit better than we were yesterday. And who will be the judge of that? Only you.

 

Remaining Curious. The curiosity you have within you is in many ways a mentor trying to lead you along a path that will excite not only your mind but your inner being. It will lead you to discover your deeper nature, if you have not already tapped into it. Do not let your curiosity be squelched because it may not make sense to those around you or the community you live in. Who cares? Have fun. Be a kid again and lose all track of time. I love these quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert: “If you consistently pursue curiosity, you will live a life of itself that is a work of art,” and “Creative living is a life where you routinely make your decisions out of curiosity instead of fear.”

 

Investing in a Way of Life Rather than Things. Yes, we need a roof over our heads. Yes, we need dishes to put food on, and yes, we need clothes and shoes. The key is to know why you are buying what you are buying. Is there a function? Is there a purpose? Purchases that are thoughtfully considered leave you not with regret but instead with a happy everyday life because your budget stays on track, your life is more enjoyable, and the things you buy enhance the overall quality of your life.

 

Annie Dillard pens in her book The Writing Life, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Living a simply luxurious life is all about the everyday approach to life, and while we can work our tails off for the goals we seek, if we are not enjoying the journey, we need to adjust something. I adore the everydays that life offers me each morning when I rise. I also know that each day will not be glorious and memorable, as we sometimes expect them to be because that idea is what the media uses to keep us intrigued. But what if it could be? What if it is all about how we choose to live the everydays and what our expectations are?

If my experience so far has taught me anything, it is that my assumptions of “what should be” have lead me astray. We must have a mastery of all of the emotions that arise to master life itself. And the funny thing about labeling emotions is that sometimes we misunderstand what life is trying to reveal to us. Follow your doubts, dive deep, and perhaps discover that your doubts are telling you what is worth pursuing. If that is the case, you are traveling down the right road. Keep rolling on.

 

How to Jump-Start the Day

 

An essential prelude to a good next day is to get a restful night’s sleep. Keep the technology out of your boudoir, sleep in luxuriously soft Egyptian cotton sheets, and make sure the thermostat is dialed down. Then, whether it is Monday morning or Saturday morning, jump-start your day in a way that establishes a positive tone — one that is as simple as being mindful of your basic physiology and the power of your mind — and sets the stage for success. The simple decisions you make before walking out the door can have a powerful effect on the mood you are in when you walk back across the threshold at the end of the day.

 

Give Your Body a Stretch. Nudging your body to wake up with some simple stretches is a morning routine that takes only five or ten minutes. Run through a few yoga poses or Pilates movements, and take five minutes for quiet meditation.

 

Read Something Inspiring. You may want to get caught up with the news in the morning, or perhaps you prefer to avoid the morning updates and instead listen to some eye-opening tunes or a soothing classical symphony. Whether you stop by your favorite blogs or read a daily passage in a motivational book, choose to purposefully read something that puts your mind in a positive state and sends you out the door with hope in your step.

 

Drink a Glass of Water. After eight hours of sleeping, the body is dehydrated. Placing a bottle or glass of water (at least eight ounces) next to your bed each night is a simple habit to get into. When you wake up, drink the water, and not only will your body be hydrated, it will also be jolted awake.

 

Preview the Day’s Agenda. The best way to ensure success in the day that awaits is to know what you wish to accomplish. Take a look at your planner and the day’s events. Get clear on where you have to be when, and whether anything needs to be moved to another day. Once you know what you have to do, you can focus and eliminate the stress of the unknown.

 

Eat to Thrive. A well-fed body is a body that performs at its best — and that includes your brain. Fuel your day with a touch of protein (eggs, for example), fiber, and a few carbs. The protein and fiber will keep your energy levels up far longer than that sugary Danish, and your brain will be fueled to make clear decisions as you move through your day.

 

Have a Moment with Nature. Whether you live in a cement jungle or next to an open field, take a moment to step outside, feel the air, and remind yourself of your priorities. Even if just for a moment, find some time before the day begins to feel the breeze of the outdoors. In chapter two, see the section “The Power of Nature.”

 

Focus and Then Zone Out. When asked what they were thinking about during a successful play, pitch, putt, or pass, many athletes answered, “Nothing.” In other words, their entire focus was on that particular moment and nothing else. No distractions, no overanalysis of previous attempts, and no worries about what might be. As your day begins, become clear about what you want to accomplish, then focus and let go of the unnecessary. The date that did not go so well last night? Do not let it ruin your day. Worried about getting that job interview you want? Relax, knowing you did your best while applying for the job, and focus on the work that is expected of you today so that, at the end of it, you will feel productive.

 

Strive for Sincere Engagement with Others. Grab a few more moments of cuddling with your significant other, say a few encouraging words to your children, give your dog or cat a much-deserved belly rub. When we connect sincerely with those we love, we not only improve our own mood; we boost theirs as well.

 

Choose a Confidence-boosting Outfit. Choose an outfit that makes you feel beautiful, strong, confident, professional — whatever you need to feel. After all, first impressions matter, and that begins with what you see in the mirror.

 

With simple, morning routines, we have the power to set the tone for the remainder of the day. While we may not have control of what we will encounter, we can at least walk out the door with a positive, determined mind-set that helps to make way for even more positive encounters.

 

Designing a Great Week

 

This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: we are given one life, and the decision is ours whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live.

— General Omar N. Bradley

 

When the week begins, I regularly sign off on my e-mails with “Have a great week!” but what does this actually mean, and how can we indeed insure we will have a great week? Many of us, including myself sometimes, passively move through our weeks, hoping they go well — hoping we do not receive too much to do from our boss, hoping we do not receive a phone call we do not want, hoping an unexpected bill does not arrive in the mail.

Instead, why not encourage a greater possibility that a great week will occur? Why not plan a week that is full of activities, approaches, rituals, and routines that enliven us, make us smile, and foster more of what we love? Sometimes a week is going to throw something our way that we do not want to deal with or did not expect to have to deal with, but these unwanted events do not have to define the entire week. Maybe they will affect that moment or that one particular afternoon, but if we have designed our week to be great, the negative will not outweigh the positive.

Here are a few ideas for designing a great week each week:

 

Sit Down and Take a Look. Before your week begins, sit down and take a look at your planner. What appointments have you scheduled, what to-dos must get done? Then look at each day and plan it out. Observe closely how much time you actually have in your days. Have you overbooked yourself? Do you have unscheduled time on Wednesday afternoon and evening that you want to protect? Make a

change now or vow to protect windows of seemingly “free” time so that you have time to do what you want without something filling that space. When we know what lies ahead, we can prepare and not be surprised or forget things that we have to do.

 

Plan a Weekly Capsule Menu. We have to eat, so why not eat well? After looking over your schedule, take a moment to plan your menu for the week. You can use the weekly capsule menu concept (see chapter twelve) or simply sketch out notes in your planner. Knowing you have planned healthy, but delicious meals will give you something to look forward to, as well as keep you healthy and well-fed.

 

Grocery Shop. Make this a weekly ritual that is enjoyable. Pick an ideal time of day, visit your favorite markets, and savor the luxury of all of the options we have.

 

Take a Day Off. Plan one day a week, or at least an afternoon or morning, to be absolutely yours to do with as you like. Not only does this give you something to look forward to; it also allows you to become comfortable with your own company, figure out what you truly love to do, and listen to what piques your curiosity.

 

Incorporate Physical Exercise. Even if we love the form of exercise we have chosen, sometimes we fail to make it a priority. Each week, sit down and plan when you will fit your class, walk, swim, or other exercise session into your schedule. Lock it in. Then welcome a feeling of calm, knowing you are taking care of your health, as well as helping your mind and your body sleep better at night.

 

Schedule Something to Look Forward To. No matter what you do or how you define “something to look forward to,” make sure you include at least one experience a week. It will put a skip in your step and enliven your being, and it may just speed up the week.

 

Make Sleep a Priority and a Luxurious Experience. Block out at least seven or eight hours for sleep each night, and guard them fiercely. To make going to bed even more enticing, adorn your bed with luxurious sheets and your favorite pillows, and have a candle, the proper lighting, and reading material beside the bed.

 

Set a Work Goal. Consider each week what you would like to complete by the time the week wraps up. Write it down in your planner. And set it in your mind that you will complete this task no matter what happens. Even if you simply make significant progress, when the end of the week arrives, you will feel as though you have accomplished what you had set out to do, and that is a wonderful way to bring tranquility into your weekend.

 

Nurture Your Cherished Relationships. Whether it is with your friends, partner, children, etc., consider how you can nurture the relationships that mean the most to you this week. Think small. It does not have to be anything grand: a thoughtful text, a rendezvous at a fun new restaurant, helping someone out with a project.

 

Plan Something to Mark the End of Your Workweek. Perhaps it is a comfort meal or heading out to the theater, but whatever you choose, plan a regular ritual that occurs when the workweek ends and the weekend begins. It will be something to look forward to, and it will be a signal to your mind to transition into a different mode: relaxing.

 

Get Outside. Mother Nature is a powerful force, and whether you can get outside each day or maybe just once a week, figure out a way or a day to do it.

 

Make One Day a Week Tech Free. I love what I do as a blogger, but when we set technology down for a moment, we may see that we might have become too attached and not present enough in our real, everyday lives. Perhaps start with an afternoon or evening; try to make one full day a week completely tech free and see what a difference it makes in the quality of your life. If that is impossible, set a time in the evening when the phone goes onto the charger and is out of sight until morning.

 

Check Your Closet. Are all of the clothes you want to wear cleaned, picked up from the dry cleaner, ironed? When the clothes we want to wear are available in our closets and do not need to be tended, we save time and unnecessary hassle.

 

Beauty Routine. Whether it is your weekly manicure or time for your bi-weekly pedicure, even if you do them yourself, make sure you have them on your schedule. And what about an at-home spa morning to give yourself whichever weekly masque your skin needs? Make sure your daily beauty necessities are stocked: lotions, makeup, etc. When we feel we are at our best, we relax. And when we relax, there is an improved likelihood that things will go well.

 

Check In with Yourself Regularly. So far you have planned a great week, one full of things to look forward to. But what if other events occur? What if meetings run long and time becomes tight? At various moments throughout the week, assess how you are feeling. Are you tense? Do you need to talk it out? Do you need to exercise? Do you need to journal and work out your feelings? Checking in with yourself is the quickest and easiest remedy you can give yourself to help get your week back on track. Often we just need to remind ourselves to be present, to slow down and relax, before we make decisions that may spoil the quality of our week.

 

One of my favorite things to do each Sunday is sit down, take a look at my week, and see what I get to look forward to. I want a life that I am excited to live every day. And even if every day does not offer excitement, I want to give myself opportunities to grow, be challenged, and appreciate the life I live. An ordinary life can truly be extraordinary if we choose to be present and live consciously.

 

The Joy of Weekend Rituals

 

No matter how wonderful, productive, or enjoyable the workweek may have been, our weekends (traditional or not) are a wonderful time to savor doing precisely what brings us pleasure. Yes, a getaway weekend every once in a while is certainly a treat, but the everyday, regular Saturday and Sunday can be magnificent if we consciously choose to bring into our lives rituals that we love.

Rituals I regularly look forward to and eagerly await nearly each week include stopping by the local bakery to pick up a croissant; catching up on leisurely reading material; stopping by a friendly local bookstore, finding a comfortable chair, ordering a hot cup of tea, and forgetting about the time; cooking a favorite recipe; and taking a long walk with the pups.

 

 

Finding Pleasure in the Essentials

A nice warm shower, a cup of tea, and a caring ear may be all you need to warm your heart.

— Charles F. Glassman

 

Perhaps there is a nugget of gold in living a busy life: recognizing what it feels like to be so overwhelmed that you can barely find a breath — and then finding a more balanced approach, becoming more appreciative of the essentials, the everyday moments that can be overlooked and camouflaged by the mistaken assumption that you should be pursuing something grander.

One of the gifts I was given as a child was an appreciation for the simple, the everyday, the essentials of life. I became fond of fresh air, cold, crisp water from the well, a sturdy roof over my head, a deep night’s sleep without interruption, and homemade food on the table each night served with love and creativity. Daily experiences like these do not produce excitement or make headlines, but they are a simple foundation that, for me, has more beauty than any extravagance.

Each Sunday morning, my ritual is to dive into the newspapers. There is always at least one article worth sharing with followers on my Twitter or Instagram feed.

In the spring, I enjoy waking up with the birds chirping, no alarm clock necessary, and thankful for nature’s rhythms and comforts. I love stepping into the kitchen and composing nutritious meals and, especially, spending time outdoors gazing at the sky and basking in the fresh air. Such essentials promote a life of heightened beauty and are a reminder of the importance of finding pleasure in the essentials.

Today, contemplate what the essentials for living your life may be. Are some essentials actually just “wants”? Or perhaps there are a few things you have placed on the “want” side that actually are fundamental for living well and being at peace. Be honest with yourself. Refuse to feel guilty for, as in my case, creating a nightly routine in which I turn in rather early, by eight or eight-thirty, put my thoughts in my journal, and read a few or many pages in a book that has piqued my curiosity until my eyelids become heavy. Whatever it may be, if you are honest with yourself, you will know. Give yourself some time, and begin savoring the essentials so that when those extraordinary “wants” dance into your life, the high will be magnificent and beyond memorable. Even when that moment passes, you will not miss it but will be thankful for it as you step back into the everyday life you love living.

 

 

The Essential Ingredient to Elevate the Everyday

 

We have what we seek. It is there all the time. And if we slow down and be still, it will make itself known to us.

— Thomas Merton

 

Each of us will design our days a bit differently, which is why the journey of cultivating a simply luxurious life must begin by looking inward. All along, you have had within yourself the essential ingredient for living a life of true contentment, so all that is required is to listen closely to yourself.

When Bob Schieffer hosted the CBS Sunday morning news program Face the Nation, he would reserve the final five minutes to elaborate on a variety of his thoughts inspired by the week gone by. I found this to be the best part of the show. A couple of years ago, I was intrigued enough to pick up the book Bob Schieffer’s America, a catalog of these five-minute commentaries.

I liked one in particular, from April 8, 2007, and I copied it and stuck it to my idea board. The general concept is a beautiful thought to keep in mind during those times when we are perplexed or feel as if no one “gets” us, or when we are unsure about where we are supposed to shine.

Have a look for yourself. The reference is to a man Schieffer interviewed at the Aspen Ideas Festival named T. D. Jakes.

 

He said something that day that I shall never forget.

He reminded us that no one is perfect, that we are all broken somewhere.

But he said that is not all bad. A key is broken in all the right places to fit a certain lock. When that key is placed in that lock, there is a quiet click. When we meet a person who is broken in the right places to accommodate our brokenness, there is a click.

It can happen in other ways: an introverted person hears that click when [s]he finds a job that can only be done by a person who works well alone.

Whether it is a job, or a relationship . . . something clicks when we find the place that accommodates our uniqueness, or brokenness.

. . . some call it meditation — but there is within each of us some mysterious, inner thing that tells us when something clicks — we don’t know how or why, we just know.

We are all broken. But listening for that click can help us to unlock many doors. The voice is always there — we have only to listen.

 

Are you listening? And if so, what have you heard?

While I would substitute the words “uniquely designed” for “broken,” the point Jakes makes is worth contemplating. In order to understand how we can tap into our innate talents, in order to understand what they are and what we are sincerely drawn to without prompting or persuasion from the outside world, we must listen closely until we hear the “click.”

The beginning of the simply luxurious journey requires you to pay attention inwardly. Then the possibilities of what you can achieve in addressing your curiosities and passions become vividly clear, and it becomes easier to let go of the excess and to focus on living well — in a manner that is unique to each individual.