“I wanna go on the cruise,” Katie told Maya the next morning in such an abrupt about-face that Maya nearly choked on the pancakes Katie had made them.
“What?” Maya managed to get out once she’d swallowed. “What brought that on?”
“I was just thinking about my life last night after we talked. What I’ve been doing so far hasn’t worked out so well for me. So going forward, I want to be more adventurous. More spontaneous. I wanna be more like you.”
“Like me? No, no, no.” Maya shook her head with an exaggerated fervor. “You don’t want to be more like me. I don’t know what you took from what I said last night, but that wasn’t my intent. And I didn’t say any of it to get you to go on the cruise.”
“I know that.”
“Look, I just wanted you to lighten up on yourself and not take life so seriously. I wanted you to see that it’s not a failure if things don’t go the way you planned. ‘Cause, unfortunately, that’s gonna happen. A lot. I do want you to enjoy your life more, and while I agree it would be great if you could work in some spontaneity and adventure along the way, you don’t need to be like me. You’re perfectly wonderful exactly the way you are.”
“But I’m not happy the way I am. I don’t know that I’ve ever really been happy, Maya. I feel like I’ve always been working toward being happy and thinking it would happen once I got to wherever I was headed. But every time I reached one goal, I always had another one lined up, and I never figured out the point where I was allowed to be happy.”
Maya slid her hand across the table toward her sister.
“Oh, Kate. You can be happy anywhere, anytime.”
“Maybe you can, but not me. I’m not sure I even know how to be. But I want to be. In less than three years, I’ll be thirty. If I haven’t figured it out by now, then obviously I need to change what I’m doing. And from where I’m sitting, you seem pretty happy. So…yeah. I wanna be more like you.”
“No.” Maya shook her head again. “I am a complete screw-up. I always have been. You know that.”
“You’re not, though. What you are is a light in the darkness. You have this joy—this light—that radiates from you. Everyone sees it. It’s why they all smile when you’re around. Even strangers. You’re contagious. And while I was chasing one goal after another, you were learning how to enjoy life in the moment and find your peace. I got it all wrong, and you…you’ve done it right. Teach me how to live that way.”
“Good Lord, Kate, I have not done it right. I’ve screwed up every way a person can, okay? But each day when I get up, I try to do better than I did the day before. Every single day, I look for things to be grateful for, things to enjoy, things to appreciate. I make a point of smiling, even when I may not feel like it, and on the days when it’s particularly hard, I focus on making others smile because that makes it easier for me to do it.” She smiled at Katie as though to demonstrate her point, and then she took her napkin from her lap and folded it on the table. “But there’s nothing wrong with you or the way you’ve done things, okay? Goals are good. I’ve got goals. I’ve got plans. And maybe I’ll get around to them all eventually. But you…you make stuff happen for real. You’re a goal-oriented person. Always have been. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. You’re a hard worker. You’re resourceful. You’re more organized than I’ll ever be. That jerk you worked for and that scumbag you dated didn’t see what a gem they had, but that doesn’t diminish your value. I don’t want you down on yourself or wanting to change who you are because of them.”
“It’s not because of them. Really, it’s not. I think I’ve known for a while that I needed a change. Getting laid off and having Grant end things was a wake-up call that now’s the time. And being here with you just makes it easier to see that there’s another way to live. I’m not saying I’m out to change everything about me or become a totally different person. But I want to learn how to be happy. How to appreciate the present moment and be content being in it without always looking toward some future moment that may not come to pass.”
Maya nodded slowly and then cocked her head to the side. “Okay, I hear you, and I’m happy to help however I can. Whatever I can offer, whatever you can learn from me, it’s yours. But I’m not sure I understand what any of this has to do with the cruise. You were so adamantly opposed before. Why do you want to go now?”
“Because it’s something that the old Katie would never in a million years do, and I want the new Katie to be the kind of person who would at least consider it. Like I said, I want to be more spontaneous. Adventurous. More willing to step outside my comfort zone and have new experiences I didn’t plan for. This is the beginning of a new chapter for me, and I can’t think of a better way to start it than to sail away from my past and spend a week focused solely on having fun.”
“Well, all right!” Maya said, her grin spreading. “That’s the spirit!”
“But are you sure Ben will be okay with me being your substitute? I know you said he and I met, but he may not remember either. And even if he does, I’m still a stranger, so he may feel the same way I did and not want me to go.”
“I’m thinking Ben would rather spend time with a stranger than be stuck alone on a ship with his family. It’s six hours ahead in Barcelona, so he’s still at the gallery, but he may be able to talk. Let’s call him.”
“No, we shouldn’t call him if he’s working.”
“He’s not like Grant, okay? If he’s busy, he’ll either let it go to voice mail or he’ll answer and say he can’t talk.”
“Okay, well, you call him. I don’t want to put him on the spot by listening in. I need to get in the shower anyway. And hey, I mean it, if he’s not comfortable with this, I won’t go. It’s fine.
“Hey! Ben wants to talk to you,” Maya called out as Katie stepped from the shower a few minutes later.
“What?” Katie clutched the towel around her, feeling exposed even though she was alone in the bathroom. “Why?”
“Maybe because the two of you are planning to go on a cruise together, and I guess he wants to say hi?”
Tucking the towel into itself so that it wouldn’t fall, Katie opened the door and frowned at Maya. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
“Say hi back.”
Katie took the phone from Maya with a frown. “Uh, hi.”
“Hi! It’s Ben, though I guess you already knew that. Is Maya still close by? Can she hear you?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you go somewhere she can’t hear you?”
Katie frowned again and then walked to her bedroom and shut the door. “Okay. She can’t hear me.”
“All right. Then I need you to tell me the truth. Do you really want to go on this cruise?”
Katie stared at the ceiling as she considered her answer. “Um, yeah, I guess. I think so. Why?”
“Is Maya making you do this? Is she bribing you or blackmailing you or something?”
“Wow. You really do know my sister well,” Katie said with a chuckle.
“I’m not saying anything negative about Maya. I just want to make sure she isn’t talking you into doing something you don’t want to do. I know she feels bad that she isn’t able to come, and I know how persuasive she can be when she wants something. Is this your decision or hers?”
“Oh. It’s mine. She does feel bad, and believe me, I know all about Maya’s skills with persuasion, but I think I built up an immunity to them in high school. Trust me when I say no one does peer pressure as well as my sister, but I learned how to resist her. So, yeah. I’d like to go on the cruise. I mean, if that’s okay with you. And if it’s not, I totally understand. We don’t know each other, so if it seems too awkward…”
“No, it’s fine. It may be a bit awkward, but hey, I’m up for it if you are. She did tell you we’d be sharing a room, right? Twin beds, though, and I swear I’ll be the perfect gentleman. I’ll leave the room whenever you need to change or shower, or anything like that.”
The feeling of being exposed returned, and she hugged the towel more tightly around her, not willing to drop it to get dressed even though there was no way Ben could see her. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She was actually making arrangements to share a tiny cabin on a ship—and a tiny bathroom—with a stranger.
But if she was going to bring adventure into her life, she had to start somewhere. At least Ben was someone Maya knew and trusted.
“Yeah, she did tell me it was one room. As far as privacy goes, I’ll do the same. I can step out whenever you need me to.”
“All right, then.” They both fell silent for a moment’s pause, and then Ben continued. “Katie, if you don’t mind my asking, why do you want to do this?”
She sat on the bed and looked around the tiny room that had been her safe haven since she fled New York. How much of her life did she want to share with this stranger?
It was probably best to keep it minimal. She didn’t want him to worry he’d be confined for a week with a depressed, blubbering mess. And she didn’t think she’d be that. She’d gotten much better since she’d been in Florida.
“I see it as an adventure,” she said with complete honesty. “I’m eager to know what it’s like to cruise, and I’ve never visited any of the islands, so that’s exciting.”
“You’ve never been on a cruise?”
“No. I’ve never really been anywhere.”
“Maya said you lived in New York.”
“Yeah, and I spent a weekend in London once, but it wasn’t…it was…never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
Good grief, she thought. Why bring that up? Could I be any more awkward?
“New York and London are both wonderful cities,” Ben said. “Nothing in the Caribbean is quite that big, I’m afraid, but the islands have their own charm, and of course, beautiful scenery.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing them.”
“Good. Now, Maya went for the most adrenaline-filled excursion option in each port, but she said you might like something more…cultural. So, if you want to take a look at the ship’s website, you can see all the options and decide if there are any you’d like to do.”
“Would we be doing those together?” she asked, knowing he and Maya had planned to do so, but unsure of how it would work between the two of them.
“We can, if you’d like. I didn’t know if you’d rather do them on your own.”
“Oh. But won’t your family think it’s odd if we aren’t together? Maya told me they’ll expect…well, that the two of you planned to act like you were dating.”
“Yeah…about that…” Ben cleared his throat before continuing. “Maya had suggested that she say she was my girlfriend, but I wouldn’t expect you to do that. That’s asking a bit much.”
Katie exhaled in relief. That was the part of the deal she was most uncomfortable with.
“I’m fine with saying we’re friends,” Ben offered. “Maybe we could not mention that we’ve only met once though? It’s just that…I don’t know. I worry my mother will make it difficult no matter what we say, and I hate that.”
“Would it really be so bad to tell the truth? Why lie about having a girlfriend? Why lie to them at all?”
“Valid questions, for sure, and I can see how it would seem like a bad idea. It wasn’t something I set out to do. You see, my mother can be rather…intrusive…in my life, so I choose to be guarded with the information I share.”
“I get that. I’m sure Maya has told you about our mom.”
“A bit, yes.” Ben chuckled. “My mother is very set in her thinking of what my life should look like. I’ve already disappointed her by being an artist rather than a lawyer, and then I had the audacity to reach the ripe of old age of thirty-one without being married yet. My career choice she took as insult to my father, but my relationship status—she takes that one as a personal slight, as though the only reason I’m single is to defy her wishes on the matter.”
Katie had been dealing with her mother’s grief over the relationship with Grant ending for days, and though Rosalyn hadn’t come right out and said the words, she’d insinuated that Katie’s time was running out due to thirty looming on the not-so-distant horizon.
“I can relate, even though I’m only twenty-seven, which is obviously much younger than thirty-one,” she teased. “My situation isn’t nearly as dire as the point you’re at.”
Ben’s laugh was quick and hearty, and it made Katie smile.
“Yes, well, being as over the hill as I am and still single, I dared to think I could embark upon this family cruise unaccompanied,” he said. “But then my mother offered to invite a guest along for me.”
“Maya mentioned that. Your ex-girlfriend, I believe?”
“Yes. Allison. A lovely woman who is my ex for a reason, but my mother has never given up hope that we’ll end up together. And when I say never given up hope, I mean she tries to force the situation every chance she gets. So, in a moment of panic, I told Mother she couldn’t invite Allison because I was already bringing someone. And in my scramble afterward to determine who this non-existent person might be, your sister came to my rescue and said that she would be happy to accompany me, but only if I let her play the part of my doting lover.”
“An enthusiastic, doting lover, I’m sure.”
“Oh, yes. I have no doubt. As you obviously know, Maya does nothing without enthusiasm. And since we’ve already discussed your sister’s master levels at persuasion—”
“She talked you into it.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t like it was a hard sell. I knew I’d have a great time with Maya, and I didn’t have any other prospects for a cruise companion. Even if I had been seeing someone, it’s one thing to go on a cruise with a girl you’re interested in when it’s just the two of you. Inviting her on a family vacation sends a whole different message about where the relationship might be headed.”
“I can see where that would take meeting the parents to the next level.”
“To an extreme level for a first-time meeting, but with Maya willing to step in, there was no pressure. My mother would have a bone to chew on, and Maya would have a blast screwing with her. And then we’d get off the ship, and if Mother ever asked, I’d say that Maya and I decided to be friends, and no one would ever be the wiser.”
Katie wasn’t surprised her sister would be willing to put on a performance, but was this a role Katie could play? Could she pretend they were anything other than strangers? Could she lie to people she’d never even met?
It wasn’t like she’d ever see his family again after this trip. What did it matter if they thought she and Ben were dating for the week? She didn’t have to marry him or anything. She just had to pretend she knew him better than she did.
“Okay, I guess I’ll do it,” she said with a sigh.
“Whoa, now.” Ben laughed softly. “Temper that excitement a little. Don’t sound too eager.”
“I just don’t know if I can pull it off. I’m not the actress Maya is.”
“And that’s okay. I’m not asking you to be. I told my mother I was bringing someone, but I didn’t say it was a girlfriend, and I didn’t offer any details. I was willing to go along with Maya’s idea because she wanted to do it, and it seemed like fun, quite honestly. But since she’s not coming, I’ll tell them you and I are just friends.”
Katie felt an odd pang of rejection, possibly triggered by years of being known as the less fun sister, and perhaps amplified by Grant’s betrayal being so recent. Not being wanted hurt, even it was only as an imaginary love interest.
“Fine. It’s not like it was something I wanted to do. I was just trying to help.”
“No, I get that. I know. And I appreciate that you’d be willing to do it. Truly. But I wouldn’t ask that of you.”
“Kate?” Maya called out from the living room. “You ready?”
Katie glanced at the clock on the nightstand, cursing beneath her breath as she dropped the towel and pulled a bra and panties from the dresser drawer.
“I gotta go. We have to open the surf shop, and I don’t have any clothes on.” Warmth flooded her cheeks as she realized what she’d revealed. “I mean, I’m…I’ve been wearing a towel while we were talking. Only because I just got out of the shower. And I have no idea why I’m telling you any of this, so I’m just gonna go crawl under a rock and die of embarrassment now.”
She slapped her palm against her forehead as Ben’s laughter rang out.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’ll let you get on with your day, but if you think of anything else we need to discuss, feel free to give me a call or a text. Maya has my number.”
“Right. Okay. Gotta go. Bye.”
“Kate?” Maya called again, and Katie flung the bedroom door open even though she was only wearing a bra and panties.
“I’m coming.”
“You’re not even dressed?” Maya shuffled down the hall with her injured leg kneeling on the knee scooter. “What have you been doing?”
“Talking to Ben! What do you think?” Katie yanked a T-shirt over her head and pulled on a pair of denim shorts, thankful she no longer had to wear business attire every day. “You’re ready to go? Like, teeth brushed, shoes on, everything? Why didn’t you wait for me to help you?”
“Because I need to do things for myself. I still haven’t gotten used to this stupid cart though, and I keep forgetting my foot is sticking out behind me. I bumped into the table in my room and knocked the lamp off.”
“Oh, no! Did it break?”
“Yes, but on the bright side, I never really liked that lamp anyway. I got a great deal on it at a thrift store, and I always meant to repaint it but never had gotten around to it. Now, I don’t have to! Problem solved. So…tell me…what did you think of Ben?”
“He seemed nice enough, not that you can really judge someone’s character based on one short phone conversation,” Katie said as she yanked a comb through her hair and then pulled it up into a ponytail, which she wrapped with an elastic band.
“Are you going?”
“Yeah.” She took a deep breath as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. “It’s completely nuts, but I’m going on a cruise for a week with a stranger.”
Maya grinned as their eyes met in the mirror. “Welcome to the next chapter of your life!”