11

Boone didn’t understand it.

He and Brad had spent a great day at the go-kart track yesterday. The kid was good company, helping keep his mind off of missing Nixie and Bethany. Boone wished they’d been able to come, but he understood that being out in the heat would only make Bethany’s rash worse. Yet, he still missed them.

And it prickled at his conscience that he might be the cause of Bethany’s hives. She had been keeping him at arm’s length lately, and it was obvious she didn’t want him to marry her mother.

The confusing part was that, for the most part, she actually seemed to like him. Boone had never had trouble winning over kids before; maybe because he acted like a big kid himself. So why was he striking out with Bethany?

But the really weird part was when Nixie had blown his socks off with her announcement that they weren’t “compatible,” and suggested they stop seeing each other. Hmph, “suggested” was too mild a word. “Demanded” was closer to the mark.

He’d been such an idiot. While watching the races with Brad, he’d fantasized about being a part of the happy family. He’d daydreamed about sharing the mundane, everyday experiences with the woman he loved and the two children who had found a special place in his heart. He had daydreamed about arguing over whose parents they would visit on the holidays.

And he’d rejoiced in the thought of never having to spend another night alone. It would be such heaven, he knew, to finally claim Nixie as his own. He would claim her with his declaration of love and devotion as he slipped the wedding band onto her slim finger, and he would claim her with his body every night thereafter.

While he’d spent the day thinking she’d planned some private time with him to accept his proposal and finish what they’d started on the couch a while back, she had actually been planning to drop a bombshell on him.

In a way, he was glad he hadn’t known what was coming. When he and Brad had bought hot dogs at the concession stand, the matronly attendant had beamed at them both and declared how much Brad looked like his “father.” Boone didn’t know who was more pleased—he or Brad.

It had been fun to pretend that Brad was his kid. Yep, he was glad he hadn’t known what Nixie was going to hit him with that evening.

Boone reshuffled the papers on his desk and sorted them into stacks. He didn’t know why he’d come to the newspaper office today. He couldn’t keep his mind focused on his work.

The thing that puzzled him most was that it was plain to see Nixie loved him. She hadn’t said the words, but he could see it in her eyes. He’d gone over their conversation in his mind a hundred times since then, and he was convinced it wasn’t just wishful thinking on his part. It was plain to see that Nixie wanted him as much as he wanted her.

The only plausible explanation for her refusal of his marriage proposal was Bethany. Why wouldn’t Nixie open up and be honest with him? he wondered. Why didn’t she realize he could help her overcome Bethany’s opposition to the marriage?

He didn’t blame Nixie for putting her family first. He probably would have done the same. But he just wished she hadn’t handed him that malarkey about not being compatible—that they knew in high school they weren’t right for each other and that they were trying to fool themselves now.

Boone ripped open the envelope on top of the stack of incoming mail.

He would be seeing her tonight at his office—a distancing ploy on her part, he was certain—to discuss the donkey ball game she was planning as a fundraiser for the rescue squad. And Boone was determined to use his powers of persuasion on her. He wasn’t about to give up without a fight.

Despite her brave words to the contrary, Nixie loved Boone and missed him desperately. She could tell Brad missed his rambunctious friend, too. As for Bethany, she’d turned even more moody and depressed.

Nixie was glad to see the girl’s rash disappear. After she’d told the children she wouldn’t marry Boone, Bethany had suffered no more hives outbreaks. Nixie had expected the news would cheer her daughter up, but the girl became even more withdrawn.

Nixie was stumped. Bethany, who usually chattered a mile a minute, now spoke in monosyllables. The longest conversation Nixie had heard her daughter conduct these past few weeks had been with Precious, the cat.

They had all decided that since Precious and Stormy couldn’t smooth out their differences, the kitten would have to go. Nixie had gone upstairs to put freshly laundered and folded clothes in Brad’s room when she heard her daughter carrying on a conversation in her room.

There were no visitors at the house that she might be talking to. Out of curiosity, Nixie laid the clothes on Brad’s bed and shamelessly eavesdropped on her daughter in the next room.

“Don’t you worry, Precious,” Bethany said in her most soothing voice. “We’re going to send that bothersome Stormy to live with someone else.”

She was quiet a moment, and Nixie guessed she was laying her cheek against the animal’s fur just as she’d always done when she needed comforting.

“I wish you could have gotten along with him, because he really is a funny kitten. But I’m your favorite person, and you don’t want to hurt my feelings by being friends with Stormy. Do you?” Pause. “Of course you don’t.”

There was another short silence before she continued her chat with the cat.

“I know just how you feel. Uncle Jay is one of my favorite people—even if he does play tricks on me all the time.”

Brad burst into the room. “Hey, Mom! Steven called, and he wants me to come to his house tonight. Will you drop me off before you go to that meeting about the donkey ball game?”

Bethany came into the room, still clutching Precious. “I want to stay with Aunt Lauren and Uncle Jay.”

“Sure,” Nixie told them. “But you two have swimming lessons in the morning, so we won’t stay late.”

She said that more for her own benefit than for the children’s. Meeting with Boone, as she would be doing tonight, she wanted to limit the amount of time she would spend with him.

She’d felt guilty, lying to him as she had. She knew they were as compatible as two people could be. But she couldn’t let Bethany be the fall guy for their breakup. If she’d told Boone the real reason—that Bethany was against the marriage and that Nixie couldn’t marry him if it meant choosing between her own happiness and her family’s—he would have tried to win Bethany over. And that would have only increased the nervous tension she was suffering from.

Maybe, in a way, she hadn’t lied about their compatibility after all. In truth, if Boone wasn’t compatible with the entire family, then he wasn’t compatible with her.

Nixie just wished the truth didn’t hurt so much.

They were going over the final details of their publicity plans for the donkey ball game. Jeff, the rescue worker who had been with Nixie the day Boone had been hit by the car, had agreed to head the committee to find a site for the event and invite local business owners to play for a fee. Nixie and Boone were in charge of publicity, with Nixie making flyers to put in store windows and Boone designing and running public service advertisements as well as a feature article in his newspaper.

Nixie had trouble concentrating on the display ad spread on the table before them. Instead, she was wondering why she had ever mailed that letter to the advice columnist, “Ask Aunt Alice.”

The letter had started as a way for Nixie to organize her thoughts about what was going on between her and Boone. She had hoped that seeing the situation in black and white would help her find a solution to the dilemma she was in. After she had covered both sides of three sheets of notebook paper, she had impulsively addressed an envelope to the Bliss Gazette’s answer lady and dropped the letter into the big blue mailbox in front of the grocery store.

The minute it had slipped from her fingers and down the mail chute, she’d had second thoughts about sending a stranger such a personal letter. At least she’d had the good sense not to sign her name. She just hoped the columnist wasn’t familiar enough with the people of Bliss to connect her name with the return address on the outside of the envelope.

Nixie looked up at Boone as he flipped through online clipart in his search for an illustration of a donkey. It amazed her how the slight motion of sliding the computer mouse could make the oversize muscles in his arm flex and bunch. She longed to lay her hand on his arm, feel the strength beneath her fingertips, and tell him she’d made a terrible mistake when she’d refused his marriage proposal.

But the look on his face was one of businesslike concentration. His whole attitude this evening had been aloof, and his body language clearly said, “Keep your distance.”

She didn’t blame him. He’d been hurt. Why should he open himself up for more of the same?

“Jeff saved a position for you to play in the donkey ball game,” she said. In answer to the empty stare she received from Boone, she added, “It seemed only fair, what with all you’ve contributed to the planning and advance publicity. The sporting goods store is contributing T-shirts with the names of the businesses represented by each player. You’ll need to call them soon to let them know your size.”

He just nodded. The only hint of emotion on his face was the jerk of a muscle in his jaw.

Nixie had seen the gesture many times before, but she’d never been the cause of it until now. She had seen it the time a school bully had mocked the slurred words of a partially deaf student. He’d reacted this way when his favorite teacher had told the class she’d been diagnosed with cancer. And then there was the time he’d seen his sister dancing too close to Robert Gage, the ninth-grade heartthrob.

The muscle twitched again in Boone’s jaw. “Do you want to use the picture that looks like a nativity scene donkey or the comical one with ears as long as his body?”

“Let’s use the comical one,” Nixie said, trying to ignore his brusque tone. “It should lure more people to come see the fun.”

She wondered how much fun the game would be if he were still treating her like a business associate. But why should she expect anything different? She was the one who’d insisted she didn’t want a personal relationship with him. He was merely giving her what she’d asked for.

There was another hour or so of stilted questions and answers before the rough-sketched ad looked as eye catching as they could possibly make it.

Nixie stood, stretched, and reached for her purse when Boone intercepted her hand with his own.

His voice was so low Nixie had to strain to hear him. “You can’t go on pretending.”

She pulled her hand back, but he refused to let go. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean.” His eyes narrowed to angry slits that dared her to argue. “You’re not a good liar, Nixie. You can’t pretend you don’t love me.”

He was right. She’d never been a good liar, partly for lack of practice, but mostly because it didn’t set well with her to deceive anyone. Maybe she could hedge her way around the admission he was trying to extract from her.

She felt as though she were slapping him when, finally, after an interminable silence, she said softly, “I never told you I love you.”

He looked stunned, and his grip on her hand loosened. Unwilling to witness the damage she’d inflicted on his soul, Nixie started to turn away but was stopped with a brick-hard hand on her shoulder. When she still refused to look at him, he grasped her other shoulder and forced her to face him.

Then he kissed her with the passion of a man who saw only one chance to win back his lady’s love. His determination was evident in the savage hunger of his questing lips. His hands slid from her shoulders and traveled down her sides, slowing at the slight curve of her breasts and coming to rest at the small of her back.

Nixie resisted at first, determined to deny her attraction to him. But the rightness of it, the feel of him plundering her lips—her very soul—was enough to weaken her. The muscles in the back of her knees seemed to turn to rubber, and she swayed against him. Though she hadn’t thought it possible, he pulled her closer.

Under the aggressive play of his lips on her mouth, her hands relaxed from balled-up fists and slid upward around his neck.

He was far from gentle, and Nixie welcomed his roughness. His hand moved up and clutched the hair at the back of her head, preventing her retreat from the demanding possession of his ravenous kiss.

But he didn’t need the force of his muscles to restrain her. She was already under his spell and had been for many years. His two-day beard rasped against her cheek, but Nixie didn’t care. She wanted to envelop herself in his embrace and enjoy the warmth of his touch, the quick puffs of his breath on her skin, his overwhelming presence.

Her breathing came quick and shallow. She arched her back, exposing her neck to the wonders that his lips played upon her sensitive skin.

But just as suddenly as he had initiated the kiss, Boone released her with a shocking abruptness. Still giddy from the closeness they’d just shared, Nixie clung to him, but Boone coldly pushed her away.

Though his lips were still reddened from their pillaging forays, they were now pressed into a tight, thin line. Through the haze of her emotions, Nixie was confused at the unexpected change of attitude.

He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling in a rhythm that tempted her to work loose the buttons on his shirt. “Now,” he said through harsh breaths, “if you can tell me honestly that you don’t care for me, I’ll never bother you again.”

Against her will, Nixie looked up into the blue eyes that dared her to deny her feelings. If she admitted the truth, she’d be choosing her own personal happiness over the well-being of her family. She had always put her family first, no matter what. And she couldn’t betray them now.

Her gaze dropped from his, and she told the biggest lie of her life.

“We’re not suited for each other, Boone.” Taking a deep breath, she continued. “The obstacles are too big for us. Let’s just forget we ever considered a serious commitment.”

She couldn’t bring herself to say the word “marriage,” but she knew Boone understood her meaning. She could tell by his crushed look of defeat.

Ashamed of what she’d done to such a wonderful man, she turned and fled from his office.

Over the next couple of weeks, Nixie saw Boone once when she dropped off an update sheet on the donkey ball game and twice when he stopped by the house to pick up Brad for Scout meetings. The other dens weren’t meeting during the summer, but Boone had reasoned the boys would welcome the chance to see their friends and get a head start on earning next year’s badges.

To his credit, Boone acted toward the children as though nothing had happened between him and Nixie. She had tried to make herself scarce during his short visits, and during those times he had spent his time mumbling to Tarzan while he waited for Brad to find his Scout manual. Nixie wondered if Boone was just being friendly to the bird, or if, like Bethany, he found it easier to pour his heart out to one of God’s creatures than to confide in another human.

When the day of the donkey ball game finally arrived, Boone was there early, setting out bases on the baseball diamond behind the high school. As one of the business owners who would be playing in the game, Boone wasn’t required to be there early. Even though Jeff had reserved a position for him in exchange for the free advertising in his newspaper, Boone had made a pledge to the rescue squad. When business owners around the county had asked for the opportunity to play in the game, Boone had suggested Nixie put the positions up for bids. For his contribution, Boone doubled that of the top bidder.

The money would go to a good cause … switching over to the text-enabled 911 emergency dispatch system. It was a project close to Nixie’s heart, and even in such an indirect way, Boone was glad for the chance to help make her happy.

Boone returned to the ticket booth where Nixie was instructing a volunteer on the prices to charge for children and adults. Ever since he’d arrived, she had been frantically running from place to place, trying to make sure every detail was taken care of.

As she turned to rush off and flag down another volunteer, Boone caught her around the waist and pulled her to him.

Ignoring her look of surprise, he lowered his voice so the ticket taker couldn’t hear. His words laden with innuendo, he whispered, “Tell me what I can do for you.”

Just like old times, Boone thought as she blushed prettily. But this time, instead of wishing and wondering if she cared for him, he knew for a fact that the blush came less from embarrassment than from her own repressed desire for him.

Yes, indeed, he had solid evidence that Nixie loved him. Boone planned to press his advantage and force her to admit it. Somehow, he had to prove to her that the “obstacles” she’d cited were surmountable. He needed to prove that, between the two of them, they could leap all hurdles on their path to wedded bliss.

Just as he’d expected, she chose to take his words at face value. “You can see if the van with the donkeys has arrived yet.”

“It pulled in a couple of minutes ago, and they’re parking it in the outfield.”

“Won’t that be in the way?”

“Nah. The squishy ball they’re using will keep the game near the infield.”

As if suddenly aware of their proximity, she stepped back, away from the circle of his arms. Boone made no effort to stop her. She could keep physical distance from him, but he wouldn’t let her push him away emotionally.

“How are Bethany and Brad?” he asked.

She lifted the damp bangs off her forehead, poked out her lower lip, and blew. “Fine. Uncle Jay and Aunt Lauren will be bringing them soon. They’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

“Precious and Stormy?”

She hesitated as if suspicious of his line of questioning. “We’re going to have to find Stormy a new home. I’ve been putting it off, hoping he and Precious would learn to get along. But now the kids have become attached to him.”

Boone shoved his hands into his jeans’ pockets. “I’m sorry. If I’d known, I would have insisted on taking the kitten with me that day I found him under your bush.”

“It’s okay.” Automatically, she touched his arm.

Yes, Boone thought, she really did care for him.

“Aunt Lauren said she and Uncle Jay would take him if it didn’t work out. And the kids would still get to play with him.”

Boone nodded. “And Tarzan? Has he learned any new words lately?”

Nixie smiled. Boone could tell she thought he was teasing her again with all his questions about the inhabitants of her house. She rested her hands on her back pockets, and Boone enjoyed the way the movement showed off her womanly figure.

“He hasn’t learned any new words,” she said, “but Bethany’s been threatening to teach him to say ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’”

Boone chuckled at the thought. “It would serve the bird right for all those times he made Precious jump when he barked at her.” He looked at her, probing her eyes with his gaze. “And how about Nixie? Is she happy?”

Boone didn’t miss how her smile faltered momentarily.

“I’m keeping busy.” She looked around them at the people who were starting to arrive. “It looks like we’ll have packed bleachers for the game. And I’m happy that we’ll be making lots of money for the upgraded emergency dispatch system.”

She hadn’t said she was happy at home. Or at night when she crawled between the sheets of that big, lonely bed. Boone was glad she wasn’t trying to deceive herself into believing she was happy without him.

That was half the battle won. To win the other half, Boone would have to get her to openly admit that she still loved him. And if he could win the battle, he’d have a better chance at claiming the ultimate victory … getting her to say yes to marrying him.