I ARRIVED AT my apartment late that afternoon. When I turned the key in the lock, it felt… odd to me. I didn’t feel like this was my home anymore. I had the feeling as if it were like a hotel room. Just some place to lay my head. It wasn’t a home, if it ever was.
I remembered how hard it was to leave the farm; all three of us holding each other, crying like babies. It was then that I knew I had to get back as quickly as possible. They were my life now, and nothing was going to stand in my way to getting back to my real home—back to my new home and my new family. I wanted this more than anything I’d ever wanted in my entire life.
With that determination soundly settled inside me, I went into the bedroom of my small one bedroom apartment, and sat down in the tiny office area I had stuck in the corner. I smiled as I looked at my muse. It was a lamp I'd found in a second hand store. It was a tacky pink thing made of ceramic hula girl, painted up with the expected grass skirt and lei around her neck. It had a small planter in front, as well. Only thing I’d gotten to grow in it was ivy, but that was okay. I liked it and it always made me smile.
I tossed my bag on the bed, only removing my cell phone’s power cord. I would unpack later. Right now, I had some serious work to do. I started to unpack my laptop and stopped. Smiling, I stripped off all my clothes, throwing them in the hamper. Then I opened my laptop and got to it.
I worked well into the night, only taking a break to order some food. I continued writing, meticulously picking what I hoped were the right words. There were times when I found it difficult to be objective, but I did my best to present their lives without any bias from me. It was late when I stopped, and I was exhausted, but I got the article finished. It was good. I was proud of the job I had done and hoped Carl and Matt would approve. Good to my word, I emailed it to Carl before I crawled into bed.
I woke up to my cell phone ringing. When I picked it up, I saw it was 7 a.m. Whoever this was had better have a damn good reason for calling me this early, especially since I’d only had three hours of sleep.
“Hello?” I managed to say through the frog in my throat.
“Carter?” a husky voice asked.
“Yeah?”
“Carter, this is Carl.”
I was awake instantly. “Oh, Carl, I miss you. I didn’t know how much I missed you until just now.” I was almost crying into the phone.
“We miss you too, Carter, a lot.” His voice was like soothing salve to my damaged soul. “Listen, Carter, Matt and I just read your article.” I was now holding my breath. I wanted them to like it, to know how much love I put into writing it. “Carter, both Matt and I think it is… well, masterful. We loved it, especially what you said at the end. It made us feel like you were right here with us.” The emotion clearly evident in Carl’s voice made me choke up.
“Thanks, Carl. I so wanted you and Matt to like it. It means everything to me that you approve,” I gushed.
“We’re proud of you, Carter. We hope that you are able to come home soon. We already miss you,” Carl said sincerely.
Home. That was what it was for me—a home with Carl and Matt. “I’ll be home just as soon as I can, Carl, I promise.” I was crying and laughing at the same time. In the back of my mind I was screaming.
I have a home to go to!
“Great. Let us know, huh?” Carl’s voice was much lighter now.
“As soon as I can, Carl, just as soon as I possibly can,” I almost shouted into the phone.
“We love you, and want you back home, son.”
I could barely speak I was so emotional. “I… love you, guys, too. I want to come home, so I’ll do my best to get things tied up here. As soon as I’ve got every… oh hell, I’ll be there as quick as I can. I promise.”
“That’s ’bout as good as it gets.” Carl chuckled.
“When’s he coming back?” Matt asked in the background.
“I love you, guys. I’m going to get cleaned up and head over to the office to turn the article in.” I rolled over and tossed the covers off. “Once the editor reads it over, that will tell the tale. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“We’ll be lookin’ forward to hearing how about it. Bye for now, Carter.”
When Carl and I ended the call, I jumped out of bed and dashed to the shower. I felt like a kid at Christmas. It didn’t matter that I’d not had a lot of sleep. I was now fully energized and anxious for the day to begin.
I was at the office and at my desk by 8:30 a.m. Even though I’d only had three hours sleep, I felt like I was on top of the world. When my editor came in, I handed him the article, not saying a word.
I sat at my desk, cleaning it out. I started boxing up the few items I wanted to take with me, giving some things away to co-workers, and throwing a good amount away. When my editor called wanting to see me in his office, I went walking in with a smile.
“Carter, I think this is the best piece of journalism I’ve seen in quite some time. Excellent work,” he complimented me, something that I’d never really had from him before. “The ending is… well, unorthodox, to say the very least. You know I don’t like personal opinions stated in this kind of work, but I think this time it fits. Letting the readers know how you felt before and then after meeting these guys, puts a lot of weight behind what they have to say. I especially like the quote you used, ‘those who hate love,’ very poignant.”
“Thank you, Mr. Katz. Have you thought any about my being able to work remotely?” I didn’t even take a pause between sentences.
“Well, no, I’ve not really, why?” Looking shocked, he studied me, knowing something was up.
“Mr. Katz, I’m moving to Indiana.”
There, I said it. Put it right out there for him.
“What?” he roared, standing up, almost knocking his chair over.
“I said, I’m moving to Indiana. I plan on being there within the month, sir.” I hadn’t even thought of a timeline until that very moment. “I would very much like to keep working for you and for the magazine, but this is something that I have to do.”
“Fuck, Carter, you drop this on me like some kind of bomb! What do you expect me to say?” He scowled at me from across his desk.
“What I’d like you to say is that you would also like for me to continue to work for the magazine. You said yourself this article was good. This move is only going to make me better, sir. That is something I am sure of. I’m as sure of that as I am that the sun is going to rise tomorrow.”
“Well, Carter, I can’t argue that this piece is as good as it gets,” he said, holding up the article I had just handed him.
“Thank you, sir, I really do appreciate that. It means a lot to me coming from you.”
“Okay, Carter, I’m going to say yes… for now. I gotta say, I wasn’t so sure about you when I first hired you, but you have been growing a lot, and I’d hate to lose you just as you’re getting good. However, I expect to see regular work from you and it had better be top notch. I’ll still send you on assignments and I expect you to dig up your own jobs as well, just like we have been doing, you got that?” he barked.
“Yes, sir, loud and clear, sir. Mr. Katz, you won’t regret this, I promise you.” I got up and shook his hand enthusiastically.
“You’d better not make me regret it!” Mr. Katz grumped. “When will you be clearing out of here?”
“I’ve just about got my desk all cleaned out,” I said smiling.
“What the fuck!” Albert Katz slammed his hand down on the desk. “What if I had said no, Carter? What the fuck then?”
I stood there a moment before answering, debating how to answer him. “I’m sorry, Mr. Katz, but I would have resigned, effective immediately.”
“So much for fucking loyalty!” he yelled. “I should have known better. You young brats right out of school have no clue as to what the mean of work ethic means.”
“I think you may have that backwards, Mr. Katz. It is exactly that work ethic that would make me give my resignation.”
The Editor in Chief of the magazine sat heavily onto his chair. “You care to explain that one to me. In all my years, that’s one excuse I’ve not heard.”
“Uh, well, you see, sir, if I were to stay here my heart wouldn’t be in it. Matter of fact, my heart would be broken.” I could feel my eyes fill with tears. “For the first time in my life I know what having a family and a home is supposed to feel like.” I looked up, my gaze fixed on my boss. “Sorry, Mr. Katz, but that is something I won’t give up for this magazine, or you. I hope you understand.”
Albert Katz leaned back in his chair, his hands lifeless in his lap. “Carter, I had no idea. Everyone deserves someone to love them. Hell, even me. I think I understand now. “
“Thanks, Mr. Katz.”
“It has been my opinion that those who are happy at home are happier at work—are more productive and creative, if you will.” He stood up and extended his hand. “Carter, I wish you all the luck in the world. I really mean that.”
I shook the man's hand, only the second time that had ever happened. The first time had been the day he hired me. “That means a lot to me, sir.”
“But, if you think that I’m gonna sit back and let you shirk work, you’ve gotta another think coming. I’ll fire your cute little ass so damn fast your head will fucking spin off your body!” he yelled, both hands flat on the desk in front of him. “The shit you turn in had better be top notch, you got me, boy?”
“Sir, yes, sir,” I said, saluting him, trying to hold my smile back.
“Now get the fuck outta my sight before I change my goddamn mind. The mind I think I just fucking lost. Fucking kids these days… Now get. I’ve got real work to do.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
I made a hasty retreat just in case he did decide to change his mind.
There wasn’t a lot of stuff for me to pack up. It all fit in one box. I said goodbye to the few people I was friends with in the office and left. There were a lot of puzzled looks as I walked out. As the elevator doors closed, I had to giggle. I knew people would be scavenging my desk, looking for whatever goodies I’d left behind. They were in for a big surprise. I took most office supplies I had. I wasn’t fired, or quitting; I was only relocating. They were going to be disappointed.
Things moved fast after that. I gave notice on my apartment. I traded in my compact car for a large SUV, using a lot of the money I’d been saving up for a condo here in the city. I called a friend of mine who knew someone who would buy used furniture and stuff like that. I had most of it sold off within two days. By the end of the week, I had taken care of everything I needed to. I should be able to move and not have to come back. The exception to that would be if I needed to return to the main office for anything. I could always get a hotel for that or crash with a friend.
I Google Mapped a route to Indiana. I realized it was going to be a two-day drive, if I made good time. I worked like a demon getting everything packed that I wanted to take with me, which in the end wasn’t all that much. That made me realize how empty my life had really been.
Each night I had talked to Matt and Carl, although I never told them exactly what I was doing. I kept telling them I would be seeing them soon, and that I was working hard to make it happen. I explained I would be keeping my job and working from home, except when I had to travel, which might be often, for a little while at least. Well, until I was more established as a journalist. That was only partly true. I was going to be seeing them a lot sooner than any of us expected. I didn’t feel too bad about not telling them the whole truth. I really wanted to surprise them.
It only took me one week to do everything, a lot faster than I had expected. The following Tuesday morning, I pulled out into traffic heading south-west. With a sigh of satisfaction, I turned some music on and let the big SUV eat the road up.
That first day, I started getting tired earlier than I had expected. I supposed with all the excitement, and running on adrenaline for the last few days, everything had finally caught up with me. I saw a chain hotel advertised and pulled off for the night. I ordered room service, called Carl and Matt, never telling them I was already on the way. When I hung up from them, I was out like a light. I think I may have been asleep before my head ever hit the pillow.
I woke up early the next morning, ordered up some coffee, took a long hot shower, and hit the road. The sun was rising behind me as I headed west. When I stopped for gas, I also picked up a few things to eat so I wouldn’t have to stop unless I need to take a whiz. I did a quick calculation and figured I wasn’t quite halfway, but I was determined to be there before nightfall.
Late that afternoon, I pulled into the driveway parking beside the house. I blew the horn while I waited for the dust to settle. Carl walked out onto the porch. I could see he was wondering who the hell it was in the new Explorer. When the dust finally cleared, I opened the door and stepped out. The smile followed by the yell, or whoop or whatever that sound was he'd roared out, made me shiver all the way down to my toes.
I was home.
Carl ran and picked me up, swinging me as he kissed my face. Then I saw Matt jumping up and down like a kid at Christmas. As soon as Carl set me down, Matt picked me up, squeezing the breath out of me while he licked my face like a dog.
“Put me down you fucking moron and quick licking me!” I yelled and laughed at the same time.
“I can’t believe you’re home. You are home to stay, aren’t you?” Matt questioned, his brows furrowed.
“Yes, I’m home. I’m home to stay.”