Chapter 13 The Twelve Recovering Spender Steps

I spent years and years of my life failing with money. I would try a certain budget system, use it for a week or a month, then I’d fall off the wagon and be unable to get back on again. It seemed everything I tried was meant for someone who was “good” with money. What about someone who is a Spender? What help is out there for us? I thought, “We surely aren’t a lost cause, there has to be a way to help us.” After finding out what was working for me, I wondered if it could help others as well. It was then that I started putting together the system I used as part of my recovery process, in the hope of helping others in the same situation.

I came up with a Spender’s recovery plan, similar to the twelve-step process in Alcoholics Anonymous. This plan is meant to help people transition from being a Spender, to being in recovery mode, and finally to becoming a Recovering Spender.

You may be sitting there wondering, “How do I know if I need to be in recovery?” The signs are pretty clear:

There are so many more scenarios that I can run past you, but I think you get the point that if you are having financial difficulties like the ones I outlined in the previous chapters, you need to be in recovery for a chance at getting out of this mess.

That is what I did, and it worked for me and thousands of others who I taught in my online course, The Financial Renovation. This course walks you through the steps featured in the next twelve chapters. It takes you deeper into your own personal finances, helps you figure out a plan to stop spending and get out of debt, and I personally hold your hand while you walk through it. You can find out more information about the course at shop.laurengreutman.com/community. It is not easy, but if you follow these twelve steps, you will be on your way to becoming a Recovering Spender. I will be sharing case studies throughout the steps, but keep in mind that the names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people who have taken my course. You will see that not only did this twelve-step process change me, but so many others as well. By following these twelve steps, you will start to have more control over your money, less stress, and a plan to follow so you can achieve financial freedom.

It’s very important to give yourself a grace period of about three to six months during this process. You need to be aware that it will take some time and practice. It’s okay to fall off the wagon—it is expected at first. You simply need to get back on the wagon and keep on trucking. Budgeting and learning a new skill takes time and practice, just like cooking or learning to ride a bike. Budgeting and learning how to properly handle money is a learned skill that you probably weren’t taught in school, which is unfortunate. Promise me that you will not quit!

You haven’t had a successful budget yet, so how do you expect to stick to one that you just pulled out of thin air? It takes a few months to figure out the correct numbers in your budget, you may underbudget in some categories and overbudget in others. Once you have a few months under your belt, you’ll start to see where you can decrease your bills and what you can completely eliminate.

You will need to learn how to set successful and realistic boundaries, which we will talk more about in Step 7. Think about it this way: Walking into the mall with a credit card in your purse yet telling yourself you are just looking is just like an alcoholic going into a bar with whiskey in her pocket and telling herself she won’t drink.

One visit to the mall with a friend of mine who had a lot of money made me realize that I did not have the willpower. I somehow got lost in the markdowns at Forever 21 and came home with a few bags of “great deals.” I got sucked into thinking that it was okay for me to shop because I was saving money. But we didn’t have any clothing money in our budget, so those great deals cost me a lot of money in overdraft fees.

After almost eight years of doing little to no mall shopping, I can finally go into a mall and not shop outside of what I need. It took a lot of practice, and I’ve learned to stick to my boundaries, like not carrying a credit card when I shop.

Over the years, I’ve learned the art of saving money on just about everything. I’ve also learned how to make extra cash to increase my income. In the following chapters, I will share with you everything that I learned in my debt reduction journey.

So if you think this is for you, and you’re ready to get started, let’s get to work. Let’s get you into recovery mode using these twelve steps.