Chapter Six
Zoey
Zoey trudged up the stairs in her dark house, tears wet on her cheeks. Again. She hated crying, but she was doing a lot of it lately. Her parents were bugging her about college because they cared, she knew that. They just wanted her to decide so they could plan, because planning made them happy. But she couldn’t decide…not until she knew if it could work with Luke or not. Because if she was totally honest, he was the reason she couldn’t decide where to go to school, even though she knew a boy was a really stupid reason to choose a university.
Hence…tears.
Parker had been so sweet, talking to her about it and really listening. He got why she was struggling with the decision, at least the parts she was willing to admit. What was he thinking about, though, right before Luke came in? His features had softened, and whatever it was, it was a good thought. Maybe she should spend her energy investigating that instead of moping about Luke all night. He was going boarding with them in the morning, and she’d have him—both of them—to herself all day.
So what had made Parker so happy? Did he have a girlfriend? He didn’t talk about that stuff much, except for the hysterical laughing fit they’d both had sophomore year when they realized they’d lost their virginity in the exact same week. Then they’d sulked together because the people they’d been with hadn’t really been the right ones. Did he finally find the “right one?”
And if he had, would this new love take him out of Zoey’s life?
Her face flamed. Ugh, she wasn’t going to be that girl. If Parker had found love, she’d be happy for him.
Mostly.
She flipped on the light in her bedroom upstairs and automatically looked out the window. Parker’s bedroom window was right across from hers, a fact they’d exploited a lot when they were younger—tin can phones, secret codes, and walkie-talkies before they had iPhones. Those were the golden days of Aspen, when everything was simple and nothing but fun.
Tonight, Parker’s window was dark. Just as well. She shut her blinds and went to put on her pajamas, before crawling onto her bed to stretch out her legs and back in anticipation of the muscle aches she was sure to have tomorrow. She really shouldn’t have taken those last two runs, but Luke had been very persuasive. Parker had glowered at Luke when he thought she wasn’t looking.
Which created another problem…was Parker really establishing himself as her guardian/chaperone? How would he take it if she was successful with Luke? It wouldn’t change their friendship…at least, she hoped it wouldn’t.
Yeah, and if Parker’s found a girl, you can’t let it change your friendship, either.
She snuggled into the covers and reached to turn out the light, but her phone buzzed. A Snapchat notification…from Luke.
Letting out a slow breath, she opened it up. Luke had taken a picture of himself in the front seat of the Jeep, hand over his heart. “Sorry to ditch you tonight.”
After that picture cycled through, there was a second, with Luke giving her a big dose of sexy grin. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
Zoey’s heart stuttered. He’d apologized for not staying with her. Did that mean she was making progress?
Her phone buzzed a third time, and she snatched it up eagerly, but it wasn’t Luke. This time it was a text from Paige, full of blushing smiley faces.
Zoey shot upright in bed, laughing as tears sprang to her eyes for a different reason. Her thumbs fumbled the phone as she typed out a quick text.
Zoey growled at the evasion. Paige knew damn well what she was asking. Uh huh, and what else?
She smiled at the phone. She’d given Paige the key to her house under the guise of telling her parents how responsible her friend would be about bringing in the mail and checking on everything, but she had an ulterior motive—giving her and Ben a very private place, away from Paige’s still-overprotective mom.
Zoey stared at the screen, chewing her lip. How did she answer that question? Paige didn’t know about the Madison boys, or even that Zoey loved Aspen. She thought it was some drag-along vacation Zoey was forced to take twice a year. She kept this part of her life private—very private—for a reason. She felt like her life was always on display, and Aspen was the one thing she got to keep to herself. She wasn’t selfish about much, but her hideaway from Alderwood needed to stay hers, and only hers, for a little while longer.
Would Paige understand when Zoey finally told her the truth? Probably. It’s not every day you find out your best friend has been living a secret life. Maybe once she and Luke were together, it would be easier.
Zoey set the phone on her nightstand and turned off the lamp. She was happy for Paige, and for Ben, but the thought of the two of them together, safe in their own joy, made her heart hurt. She was lonely.
No one at home would believe that for a moment. The Great Zoey Miller…lonely? Pshaw. How could that be true? She was surrounded by people—watched, admired…worshiped.
Ugh, that word was cringe-worthy, but she knew guys said it. The idea made her ill.
So, yeah. She was lonely. It was a self-imposed loneliness, to be sure, from hiding behind the disguise of a girl who was always polished, with everything together all the time. How was she ever supposed to be free with a guy? Every guy she’d tried to date saw her as a trophy.
If it bothered her, though, why didn’t she feel comfortable enough to show her Dallas friends what Parker saw every day? Why did she go on being what everyone expected?
Did she really crave the attention that much?
Speaking of cringe-worthy…damn. Oh, look, the poor, pretty rich girl. What kind of problems can she have?
Maybe she was being selfish for being sad. Maybe her problems weren’t as important as everyone else’s. Maybe she was right to keep them hidden. No one would believe how insecure she felt deep down inside. How, when she went home after school and took off her shoes and makeup, she sighed with relief to have made it through another day. That’s what college meant to her: a fresh start. To go somewhere no one knew her, having the chance to wear leggings, a T-shirt, and flip-flops to class. No armor.
Just Zoey.
She sighed in the dark and rolled over. That day was coming soon. She just had to hang on until then.
Sunday morning dragged on for days. The boys never got up early, because the mountain was always right there waiting for them. Zoey, on the other hand, had fourteen short days of snowboarding, and she wanted to make the most of it.
Mom laughed when Zoey dropped her phone on the kitchen table and stuck her tongue out at it. “Sweetheart, it’s only nine-thirty. Let them sleep in one day, okay?”
“I know I should, but I feel like the clock’s ticking.” She crossed her arms and slumped in her chair. Wanting to see Luke made her feel crazy. She didn’t like it. Yesterday, she’d flirted with him shamelessly, hanging on his every word like the groupies she despised.
Not to mention the fact that she’d done her hair and makeup both yesterday and this morning, in hopes that he’d notice. Was trying to win his heart worth keeping up the act she put on back home long enough to get his attention? Was it worth holding off on a college decision?
She hoped so.
She wished she could count on Luke to act the way Parker had about her college dilemma, but she wasn’t sure she could—that would force her to admit she’d only applied to ASU because he was there. Yes, Luke made her heart race, but would he think she was silly for basing her future on the chance he could love her back?
“If you’re that worried about getting enough snowboarding in, why not go up by yourself? You know that mountain like the back of your hand. It’s not like you need a Madison to guide you around,” Mom said.
Sure, that was an option, but boarding alone was…boring. It wasn’t like she didn’t know how to keep herself company—she just didn’t want to if she didn’t have to. Especially not after last night, considering how down in the dumps she’d been. She needed a friend to make her world sparkle…or a Luke to make her pulse race.
Her phone buzzed on the table, saving her from answering her mother, and she ran to grab it.
Zoey sighed. It wasn’t Luke answering her hail, but if anyone could cheer her up, it was Parker. Yes, I am. We’re burning daylight! Wake up Luke, and let’s go.
A pause. Luke’s totally crashed. I heard him come in around three. So you’re stuck with me if you want to go now.
A kernel of doubt gnawed at her. What was he doing out with friends until three? He’d told her he was going to make it up to her today, and she thought that meant getting an early start at Snowmass.
Knowing Luke, they picked up some girls. He couldn’t go anywhere without a coven forming to follow him around. He often blamed his “natural charm”—and there was some truth to that. How could she compete if every girl in a five-mile radius wanted him, too?
She rolled her eyes. Pouting wasn’t going to do any good. She’d have to work harder at making him notice her, that’s all.
He was such a goof. Grinning, she spun around to her mom. “Parker’s up. He’ll go with.”
Mom smiled into her coffee cup. “You can always rely on Parker to be there, can’t you?”
“Yep.” And if he could help her convince Luke to meet up with them later, all the better.