How to Wear Confidence When Meeting People

The next two Little Tricks should be regular practice for ladies, gentlemen, and their offspring who want to feel confident at important meetings, parties, or the first day of kindergarten.

One summer, a sizable law firm invited me to give a seminar called “The Corporate Image.” The audience consisted mainly of paralegals, administrative assistants, and a smattering of attorneys. Their company culture was conservative, and, of course, I had to set a good fashion example. However, I had the constant female complaint, “I don’t have a thing to wear.” I needed a summer suit to express a cool corporate image—a splendid excuse to go on a rare shopping spree.

After not finding a suit at a dozen reasonable shops, I wandered into an overpriced boutique, with no intention of actually purchasing anything there. But there it was on the mannequin—a Bill Blass suit—way beyond my budget and just begging me to buy it. It was the ideal attire for my attorney’s talk. The magnificent suit had a silk crepe pleated skirt, a matching long jacket, and a steep price. But I was in love. As I swirled around in front of the dressing room mirror, turning it down was not an option.

Once home, I carefully hung it in the back of my closet, never to be touched by human hands until the day of my presentation.

The Big Day Arrives

On the day of the corporate image talk, I slipped into my stunning new suit. Just before my program began, I went to the ladies’ room, freshened my lipstick, and admired myself in the mirror one last time before going off to win the crowd.

The first part of the talk went beautifully. About ten minutes into the seminar, however, I turned my back to write something on the flip chart. The crowd gasped. I heard women suppressing giggles. Spinning around, I saw attorneys with smirks on their faces nudging each other. Others turned away embarrassment. The group couldn’t hold it in any longer, and laughter broke out all over the room.

The meeting planner came scampering up the aisle like the worried white rabbit. She whispered in my ear, “Leil, your skirt is caught up in your pantyhose.” Now it was my turn to gasp. I grabbed at what I thought was going to be the back of my skirt. Instead, my hands landed on bulging pantyhose with my silk skirt trapped under it. I had mooned the venerable attorneys and their staffs!

I attempted to cover it with humor by saying, “Heh heh, you’ll notice ‘modest’ wasn’t in my introduction.” That weak joke didn’t work, so I made a second attempt. I told them that the acronym “C.Y.A.” suddenly had a new significance for me. (In the Lawyer’s Bible, it stands for “cover your ass.”) That one broke the ice. Laughter ensued, and the crowd’s discomfort dissipated. But not my humiliation.

It was tough to get back on track with the presentation. I figured I’d better get off of skirts and talk about something else. “Ahem. Jackets are powerful for women,” I began. Peeking down at my notes, I spotted a ring of perspiration under my arm expanding like a ripple from a stone thrown in the lake.

“Just don’t choose silk,” I mumbled.

After I laid that egg, Little Trick #3 was hatched.


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Little Trick #3
Do a “Dress Rehearsal” Before Your Important Occasion

  Never wear anything new to an important event, interview, meeting, or on a big date. Unless you enjoy snickers and scorn, give your new outfit a dry run when you’re on girl’s night out or having a beer with the boys.

     If I had worn my new suit someplace just once before the speech, I would have discovered silk clings to pantyhose and pitilessly reveals perspiration.


Not for Women Only

Gentlemen, for fashion and safety, you too should try out your clothes before committing to wear them. Single gentlemen, this is crucial because women are ruthless when it comes to judging a man’s clothing. One slipped sock showing a hairy leg could get you written off.

Men have told me horror stories of unraveled trouser hems, popped buttons, and zippers that unzipped at inappropriate moments. One gentleman told me his new date heard his howl from the men’s room. How could he explain to her that his zipper got caught on a tender part of his anatomy?

Believe it or not, in first-class conservative companies, a man’s clothing is even more crucial. To a certain degree, the cut of his suit and shine of his shoes can determine how far he goes in the company.

But what if I’m not going anywhere social to try new clothes out? I’d feel ridiculous pushing a shopping cart in a suit or skyscraper heels.

Not a problem. Read on.

Home Sweet Home

You know how relaxed you are in your favorite jeans and T-shirt watching TV or reading a book. Tranquility is anchored to these clothes. Each time you slip them on, you feel psychological ease. They are like your second skin. You’re not worried that your tee is too tight or your jeans too short. Why? Because you’ve lived in them.

Now let’s talk about your new knock ’em dead outfit. You know you look like a million bucks in it. However, if the outfit doesn’t have that comfortable “lived-in” feeling, you won’t be at ease wearing it. To make a good impression, you must be relaxed in whatever you’ve got on your back. Here is a technique to do just that.


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Little Trick #4
Break In Your “Party Clothes” Around the House First

  Give your jeans and old sweater a vacation. Don your slick new clothes and run around the house in them. Watch TV in them. Organize your CDs in them. Take a nap in them—especially if they’re cotton, so you see how they pass the wrinkle test. After they are cleaned, they will look just as good. And you will look even better, because you won’t have that stiff “I’m wearing new clothes” look.