Have you ever known people whose idea of a conversation is a filibuster? You fantasize them suddenly coming down with a case of lockjaw, but no such luck.
You’re at a gathering and one of these nonstop talkers decides to hold you hostage. There are other people you want, or should, talk to, but escape seem hopeless. Your left and right brain have a conference to decide how to handle it.
Right Brain: I could pretend I have to make a phone call.
Left Brain: Nah, he’ll never fall for that hackneyed old song and dance.
Right Brain: I know, I’ll say I have go talk to a friend.
Left Brain: You’ve got to be kidding! He’ll see through that in a heartbeat.
Right Brain: OK, so I’ll say I need to get another drink.
Left Brain: Uh-huh, Dummy, your glass is already full.
Right Brain: Well, I’ll gulp it down and then say I have to get another.
Left Brain: Then you’ll look like old guzzle guts. Besides, you’ll get wasted. Think harder.
Extreme talkers call for extreme measures. If it’s a fairly crowded room, count on your imaginary friends to get you out of this stressful situation. While Time-Hogger is talking your ear off, wave to an imaginary person over his shoulder. Then turn back to Big Mouth: “Excuse me, you were saying . . . ?”
Let him drone on for another twenty seconds. Then peek over his shoulder again. This time, pretend to be annoyed by your “pushy friend” signaling you from behind his back.
The third time you look over Time-Hogger’s shoulder, say, “Excuse me, a friend is saying he must tell me something right now. I’ll catch up with you later.” If appropriate, a friendly touch on the arm substantiates your sincerity. Then disappear into the crowd.
It sounds far-fetched, but I promise that it works. I have never had a Big Mouth turn around to see who is signaling me.
This is my all-time favorite way to tackle this situation. Suppose you really were talking to a good friend but knew you must meet other people at the gathering. You’d probably say, “Hey, girlfriend (or guy friend), I love talking to you, but we really should meet some other people now. Catch ya later.”
To escape a bore, give her the formal version of this. Tell her, “I really am enjoying talking to you, but we should probably mingle a bit now.” She may be as happy as you to do that. Or, if you really want to lay it on thick, say, “I should let you go now. I know there are other people who would like to talk to you. We can catch up later.”
Fat chance.
Little Trick #39
Pretend Someone Is Signaling You Over Their Shoulder
Whether your party goal is finding new business, love, friendship, or just some fun, do not let anyone monopolize your time. Either escape (with the help of an imaginary friend) or be (almost) honest and tell him you both should mingle. You—and a lot of other interesting people—have put too much effort into going to the event to get hijacked by an Extreme Talker.