How to Come Out Smelling like a Rose When You’re as Guilty as Heck
As kids, we all had favorite comic book characters. I kept mine a secret because I thought it wasn’t normal for a little girl to like a tough character like Wonder Woman. The cartoonist described her as having “the Speed of Hermes, the Wisdom of Athena, the strength of Hercules, and the beauty of Aphrodite.” And I just loved her hot thigh-high red boots.
My favorite part was when she deflected laser beams with her supercool silver bracelets. “Zap!” “Pow!” “Ping!” Her arms spun around faster than the speeding bullets shooting straight at her. She was confident, yet calm. My Wonder Woman was invincible.
Little Trick #47 will make you invincible to people’s piercing verbal shots. I learned it from a female politician who fended off a potentially lethal verbal bullet in a televised news conference.
There was an extremely grave situation in the United States at the time. Many blamed it on the president, who made a quick—and soon unpopular—decision on how to handle it.
Wonder Woman’s Pow Pings!
Partway through the news conference, an enraged journalist accused, “Even though some of your fellow Democrats voted against it, weren’t you convinced it was the right course of action, and didn’t you cast your vote in favor of it?”
Most of us earthlings would have responded with a cautious little “yes,” quickly followed by a big loud “BUT . . .” Not this Wonder Woman. She handled it with the “speed of Hermes and the wisdom of Athena.”
She looked him right in the eyes, smiled, and said, “You have asked an excellent question, and I’m glad you brought that up.” The crowd gasped almost audibly at her reaction. “Yes, you are right. I was convinced it was the right course of action, and I did cast my vote for it.” Now the crowd was stunned—and impressed by her candor.
Did you notice the progression of her strategy?
1. She first praised the journalist, thus feeding his ego and deflating his accusatory demeanor.
2. By saying, “I’m glad you brought that up,” she craftily convinced the crowd that the question did not cow her. In fact, she implied, she welcomed it.
3. Then she really blew them away. She repeated the journalist’s accusations verbatim. “Yes, you are right. I was convinced that it was the right course of action, and I did cast my vote for it.”
Wonder Woman paused for this to sink in with the crowd. Only then did she proceed to the fourth step and clarify her reasoning. When finished, she said “Thank you, Mr. (journalist’s name) for giving me the opportunity to explain this.”
It was a knockout. She had obviously won this round.
You Too Can Be Invincible in Four Easy Steps
The next time someone accuses you of something, and you are, indeed guilty, use the politician’s “Come Out Smelling like a Rose” Little Trick.
First, throw your accuser off guard by telling her you are happy she brought it up. Secondly, repeat her precise words. If she accuses you of “stealing” it, do not change that to “took.” If she charges you with “covering up the truth,” don’t tweak it to “I didn’t tell you.” In addition, never use the words but or however after your courageous admission. That is a signal that an excuse is coming. If you committed the act, face it—no weasel words.
The next crucial step is to pause a few seconds. Then continue with a confident-sounding explanation of your reason, the misunderstanding, the mix-up, the confusion, the whatever. But do not make it sound like an excuse.
If there is no justification for your dirty deed, tell them what you learned from it. It works beautifully. Try it!
Little Trick #47
Blow Them Away by Repeating Your Accuser’s Precise Words
Here is the game plan when you are guilty. Dead wrong. Caught red-handed.
1. Listen calmly until your accuser finishes, and then say, “I am happy you brought that up.”
2. Proceed by saying, “You are right,” and repeat his accusation word for word. No ifs, ands, or buts—and no changing his precise words.
3. Pause.
4. Then, and only then, with no defensiveness, tell your reasoning. If there is absolutely no rationalization for what you did, tell him what you have learned from it.
To add frosting to the cake, thank your accuser for the opportunity to tell him. It floors him—which is the proper position for him to kiss your hot red boots.
You’re Never Too Young to Be Smart
Parents, imagine sitting at the dinner table with your family. Dad, you sternly look at your ten-year-old and state accusatorially, “Mom told me you stood on a chair in the kitchen today and stole some Oreo cookies out of the cookie jar.”
Your kid calmly says, “I’m glad you brought that up, Dad. Mom is absolutely right. I stood on a chair in the kitchen today and stole some Oreo cookies out of the cookie jar.”
Pause.
“A kid took my lunch box today, and I hadn’t eaten anything since this morning. I will be more careful in the future and put my lunch box in a safe place. Thanks for letting me explain that, Dad.”
You gotta love the kid, no matter what he says after that.