In the Introduction, we discussed how people crave acceptance from those they respect, whereas it has less value from those they don’t. By demonstrating authority around your friends, colleagues, and loved ones, you build your muscles to help lift them later.
Jimmi, the big cat who was only five-foot-six, taught me another priceless little practice for gaining prestige. He said, “Leil, show me what you do when you agree with someone.” His question perplexed me, but I nodded as usual by lowering my chin several times.
“Isn’t that what everybody does?” I asked him.
“No,” he whispered as though he were sharing state secrets. “Here’s how I do it.” He then proceeded to lift his chin up from parallel to the floor, not down. I must admit, it did look more impressive than the usual nod.
Be wary when using this Little Trick because, if the rest of your body language is not friendly, you could come off as arrogant. However, if you blend this confident move with other warm gestures, people will appreciate such an authoritative-looking person—you—agreeing with them.
Little Trick #54
Nod Up, Not Down
Begin with your chin parallel to the floor. Then, to express acceptance or agreement, lift your chin up and bring it back to normal several times. This way, you are conveying confidence. Jimmi calls a bowed head the “Beat me again, master” position—don’t send that message!
Women, I especially urge you to use this Little Trick for more reasons than just looking self-assured. Since a man is usually taller, you keep better eye contact with him while nodding up. And if you dye your hair, why show him the roots?
The next Little Trick is for exuding an air of authority in your written communication.