How to Avoid Sounding Egotistical in Your E-Mail
People who reside in mental institutions use the word I twelve times more than “nonresidents.” Ergo, it figures that the fewer times you use the word I, the saner you sound.
In conversation, it’s certainly a good idea to avoid saying I too many times. Once uttered, though, it becomes just another sound wave blown away by the breezes. In e-mail, however, that big black I stays plastered on your recipient’s screen. Some people start so many sentences with I that their message looks like it has a left-hand border.
Wait a minute, Leil. Everybody talks about themselves—their actions, thoughts, feelings, suggestions. That’s what messages are all about.
You are right. In fact, here is a typical casual message to a friend:
Hi Ric, I really had a good time at your party last night at the club and met many interesting people. I hope you and your wife can join us next week for dinner. I think you will enjoy Sasha’s cooking.
Notice how an I starts each sentence? They’re repetitive, not to mention self-focused, even though the writer is supposedly reaching out to his friend.
So what is an e-mailer to do? If dearly deceased Miss Peas-good heard the following advice, she would turn over in her grave. If she were alive, it would drive her to it. But it’s simple to do. Just delete the word I as much as possible. Let’s try it and see how it sounds.
Hi Ric, really had a good time at your party last night at the club and met many interesting people. Hope you and your wife can join us next week for dinner. Think you will enjoy Sasha’s cooking.
This one used precisely the same words as the first, just deleting the word I. There isn’t one of them in the entire message.
Little Trick #75
Use I Drops in Your Messages
Tweak your informal e-mails and wipe out the word I as many times as you can. You will sound less self-centered—and therefore more likable. To prove it, open any e-mail message you have recently written. Delete practically every I, and the message will probably stand on its own. Everybody will like it better, except grammarians.
In spots where it sounds strange to drop the I, simply put your recipient’s name before it: “Ric, I hope you and your wife can join us . . .”
If you’d like to take it a step further, switch the words around to start as many sentences as you can with you.
Hi Ric, you really gave a great party last night at the club, and everyone enjoyed it. You invited a lot of interesting people. You and your wife can join us for dinner next week, right? You’ll enjoy Sasha’s cooking.
Business E-Mail
Substituting you for I makes business communications friendlier, too. See which you like better:
Dear Mr. Jones: We received your order for two gizmos yesterday. I will e-mail you as soon as they come, and we will send them out the day after.
That’s average, the way people usually write messages. Here’s the “Little Trick #75” way to write it:
Dear Mr. Jones: Your order for two gizmos arrived yesterday. You will be notified by e-mail as soon as they come in, and you will receive them the day after.
Reread some of your old e-mail messages to see how many sentences you could have turned around to start with the word you. Then pretend you are the recipient of that message, not the sender. Do you see the difference?
If your messages that make them feel important pile up, you’ve got yourself a loyal customer.
From the time the doctor holds newborns upside down by their tiny feet and spanks them, all of them feel the world revolves around them. For their entire lives, hearing you say their name or the word you gives them a pleasure-pat. Here’s how to give them an even bigger stroke.