Little Trick #85
Buy a Gotta-Go Toy Phone
Keep a realistic-sounding kiddie phone in reach of your real phone. If you make it ring and play your role, you can terminate your conversation with an agonizingly long talker in ten seconds or less.
Suppose a ruthless nonstop talker keeps blithering away on the phone, impervious to your entreaties that you need to go. If your conscience condones, execute the following Little Trick. There are three necessary tools: a sense of humor, one small purchase, and a touch of sadism.
Go to a toy store and ask for one of those plastic kiddie phones with an authentic-sounding ring. Bring it home, unwrap it, and place it right next to your real phone.
Here’s the tactic:
Step One: While Long-Winded Person is rambling on, press the ring button on the kiddie phone. Let it ring three times.
Step Two: Say to the nonstop talker, “Excuse me one second; my other line is ringing.”
Step Three: Stop the ringing on the kiddie phone. Say to an imaginary Very Important Person, loud enough for the yapper to overhear, “No, no, hold on. I was just finishing up with this other call. I’ll be right back.”
Step Four: Return briefly to Windbag and tell him, “I’m so sorry, excuse me, I’ve been waiting for this important call that just came in.”
Unless he is out for blood, he’ll say “Good-bye.”
Little Trick #85
Buy a Gotta-Go Toy Phone
Keep a realistic-sounding kiddie phone in reach of your real phone. If you make it ring and play your role, you can terminate your conversation with an agonizingly long talker in ten seconds or less.
I forgot the final step: give a fiendish sigh of relief after they hang up, and then kiss your kiddie phone.
The next Little Trick is a quick-as-a-cricket “click” that leaves people speechless with appreciation.