How to Win Their Hearts—a Year Later!

When a certain date rolls around on your calendar each year, do you get that silly faraway look on your face and indulge in happy reveries remembering a magnificent event in your life?

Was it when you graduated? Got your first job? Met your spouse? Gave up smoking? Adopted your beloved pet? Won the fifth-grade hula hoop championship? How sweet it is when your mind soars back. Your memories get big, and your pupils get small.

The special day I remember is when my first book came out. The publisher promised to send me ten copies. I waited anxiously by the mailbox the day I knew they would arrive.

When the postman came, I tore open the box and breathlessly showed him the table of contents. I tormented him talking about each chapter. Perhaps “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night could stay the courier from the swift completion of his appointed rounds,” but I sure could. When the patient public servant finally broke away from my babbling, I bet he was contemplating writing a book himself . . . about the nut on his route.

On the next girls’ night out, I chortled about my new work uniform—my pajamas. Ha ha ha. I crowed about my new work commute—from bed to the computer. Ha ha ha.

Why weren’t they laughing?

A few days later, I dismounted my high horse and become human again. Life went back to normal. Although I did notice the postman avoiding me.

A Year Later

Cut to precisely 365 days later. I ambled to my mailbox but expected nothing special. However, I found a fancy handwritten envelope. Inside was a congratulations card. For what? From whom? When I read it, I was overcome with a severe case of the warm-and-fuzzies. Several of my friends who had suffered from my swelled head exactly one year previous to the date wrote, “Happy anniversary of your first publication date.” I had to hold back the tears.

Of course, receiving a birthday or holiday card is lovely. However, it can’t compare to the unexpected joy of receiving a note celebrating a happy personal event in your life. It is a law of human nature. The more original and unexpected a tribute is, the more people treasure it.

If you currently recall—or if you can dredge up—the precise date of something special in a friend’s life last year, jot it down. Then commemorate it with a “personal event anniversary card” when that day rolls around this year. If your memory bank is currently empty, at least lay the groundwork for using Little Trick #92 next year. Start making note of happy events in friends’ and colleagues’ lives. It can even be something they told you about.

My friend Vicki Abraham said she fell in love with her future husband in a hot tub on Labor Day weekend. The following year, I sent her a “Happy Hot Tub Day” card on September first. She says she’ll never forget it.


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Little Trick #92
Send a Personal Event Anniversary Card

  Try to remember some accomplishment or special event in your friends’ lives. Maybe the date he got a promotion. Or when your married friends met (divorced?). And, of course, don’t forget the date their little bundle of joy was born. Or when the tot got her first tooth . . . the list goes on. And so does their appreciation of you when you send them a personal event anniversary card.


Another Reason I Like This Little Trick

I once had a tough boss, a textbook bully, who was bonkers about her cat. If she wasn’t picking on me or barking orders, she was boasting about Bootsie. I wanted to go deaf every time she gave me the details of his diet, his hair balls, his birthday, and even his preferred kitty litter.

That was the year I had started remembering special events in people’s lives. So I sent Bootsie a birthday card. I don’t think I’m imagining it, but after that, things got a lot easier for me around the office.