Throughout the entire day—and for reasons she refused to acknowledge—all Jordan could think about was her last patient of the evening. Because of her work hours, Kirsten had scheduled all of her appointments in Jordan’s last slot of the day. She could think of worse ways to end her workday. She had been looking forward to seeing Kirsten tonight, but when she finally arrived, Jordan noticed a hint of despair in her eyes and a frown on her face. Her heart clenched, and she had an overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around Kirsten and hold her until the pain left her eyes.
“Kirsten? Are you okay?”
Kirsten just shook her head and looked down. Her shoulders were slumped, and she looked despondent.
“Come with me.” Jordan reached for Kirsten’s hand and led her to a private treatment room. Normally, she would have treated her out in the gym for her follow-up appointments, but she thought that Kirsten needed some privacy.
As soon as the door closed, Kirsten let out a body-wracking sob. She sat in the nearest chair and put her head in her hands. The tears kept falling, and Jordan handed her a box of tissues. She sat in front of Kirsten, placed a hand on her shoulder, and caressed it tenderly.
“I’m sorry,” Kirsten said finally, her voice thick with unshed tears.
“What are you sorry for?”
“I’m not…I don’t usually cry like this. Especially not in front of…” She trailed off and waved a hand at Jordan as if that would explain everything.
“Please don’t apologize.” She hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to voice the question bubbling behind her lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”
After a few minutes, Kirsten wiped her eyes and her nose. “My husband left me last night after he said he was no longer in love with me. He doesn’t want to go to counseling to try to fix it. He wants to file for a separation. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I’m so tired. I called in sick to work today and considered canceling my appointment with you.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Her heart was breaking for Kirsten. She didn’t understand how she could have such strong emotions for a woman she barely knew.
“No, but thank you for offering. I don’t think I’ll be much good for therapy tonight.”
“We’ll skip the exercises tonight, but let’s stay in here, and I can work on your knee for a little while. I mean, you’re here now, so let me try to make you feel a little better, at least physically.”
Kirsten gave her a watery smile. “Okay, whatever you think is best. I have to warn you though, I won’t be very good company.”
“Don’t worry about that. Let’s get you up on the table. I’ll take care of the rest.”
She went to work on Kirsten’s knee but was uncertain whether she should ask some follow-up questions or remain quiet. She supposed that if Kirsten wanted to talk about it, she would. She didn’t want to pry or upset Kirsten even further.
As the session went on, Jordan could feel Kirsten start to relax, and by the end of the treatment, Kirsten’s spirits appeared a little higher. She stayed with Kirsten while she was icing her knee after treatment. The silence that continued to stretch between them made Jordan feel a little awkward. She had an overwhelming desire to try to help Kirsten.
“Do you want to talk about what happened last night? I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”
Kirsten hesitated a moment. “John and I have been drifting apart the past few months. I thought maybe he was just busy preparing for a big case.” Kirsten gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, he’s an attorney. Anyway, a couple of nights ago, he basically admitted to me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. Last night, he had his bags packed and waiting by the door.” Kirsten appeared as though she were trying valiantly to keep her tears at bay. “He said he wanted a separation, and he moved out. He’s not even willing to go to couples counseling. I thought I meant more to him, that I was worth fighting for. I have to admit that I fell out of love with him, too, but I thought we should at least try to work things out. I’m not a quitter, Jordan. I’m a strong woman, and I need a strong partner. I thought John was strong. I thought I knew him better than that.”
It took all of Jordan’s strength to keep her thoughts to herself and just listen to Kirsten. But what she really wanted to do was jump up and scream that John was a complete idiot. She didn’t know Kirsten well, but what she did know was that she was worth fighting for. They had only known each other a few days, and already she could see how special Kirsten was.
Instead of voicing any of that, she said, “How long were you two married?”
“Three years. The first two were great, then we started to pull away from each other. We started spending less time with one another until I realized we weren’t spending any time together at all.” Kirsten took another tissue and wiped her eyes.
“I wish I had some good advice to give you, but I don’t have much experience with relationships.” Where the hell had that come from? Jordan never discussed her personal life with patients. She kept her life private and only talked with them about superficial things, like her hobbies and sports. She didn’t acknowledge the questioning look on Kirsten’s face and busied herself with removing the ice pack and electrodes.
“That’s okay. I don’t think there’s any advice you could give me.”
As Jordan finished packing up, she couldn’t stop thinking about how bad she felt for Kirsten and how she wished there was something she could do to make her feel better. When treatment concluded, she walked Kirsten to her car. “Are you okay to drive home? Do you want me to call someone for you?”
“Yeah, I’m okay to drive.” Kirsten placed a hand on her arm and looked up into her eyes. “I appreciate what you did for me tonight. I mean, I know your job is to treat my knee, not listen to my pathetic story.”
Jordan’s insides turned to mush. “There’s nothing pathetic about you, Kirsten. I’m so sorry you’re going through this incredibly difficult time right now, and if you need to postpone your therapy for now, I completely understand.” She was sympathetic toward Kirsten, knowing all too well how it felt to have her heart broken by the loss of a meaningful relationship.
Kirsten looked at her for a moment then hugged her fiercely. “I’ll make time to come to therapy. This will be one of the things I have to look forward to.”
Jordan stood there dumbstruck with Kirsten’s arms wrapped tightly around her body. Fire flashed throughout her veins, and she reluctantly stepped away. She opened Kirsten’s car door and waited patiently while Kirsten slid behind the wheel.
“G’night, Kirsten. Drive carefully.”
“Good night, Jordan. Thanks again. I’ll see you next week.”
Jordan stood and watched Kirsten drive out of the parking lot. The flame that had just consumed her now felt ice cold.
Oh, man. I’m in so much trouble.