Saturday morning, Jordan woke to birds chirping and the sun shining. Kirsten had slept fitfully the night before, which in turn had caused her to sleep fitfully. It was almost nine when she finally opened her eyes.
Jordan pulled Kirsten closer to kiss her good morning. “How would you like to go to the farmers’ market this morning? We could pick up some fresh fruits and veggies and see what some of the other vendors are selling.”
“That sounds nice. Let’s get cleaned up, and we can grab a quick breakfast on the way.”
Kirsten started the shower. Jordan followed and took her time bathing Kirsten’s body lovingly. They both dressed in shorts and T-shirts, and for the first time, Jordan saw Kirsten wearing a baseball cap with her hair pulled through the opening in the back. Her heart melted at the sight. Apparently, Kirsten was stunning no matter what she wore.
The farmers’ market wasn’t too far from Kirsten’s house, so they decided to walk. They stopped at nearly every stand, picking up eggplant, squash, and mushrooms to grill, along with some melon, apples, and strawberries to make a fruit salad.
They walked hand in hand through the aisles, and Jordan was looking at Kirsten and laughing at something she’d said when she accidentally bumped into another person.
“Excuse me, I’m sor—” Jordan looked at the woman and froze, not believing who was standing in front of her. She was suddenly very cold inside, like ice water was running through her veins. She wanted to turn and flee as fast as she could, to outrun the images of Kelly fucking her teacher’s assistant that replayed in her head. She wanted to escape, but her feet felt bolted to the ground.
“Hi, Jordan.”
“Kelly.” Jordan’s body betrayed her and wouldn’t move.
“Kelly?” she heard Kirsten say. “The Kelly?”
Jordan nodded, unable to look away from her ex-lover. The squeeze Kirsten gave her hand eased her anxiety. Jordan trembled, and she was pissed that Kelly still had that much of an effect on her.
Though Jordan hadn’t seen Kelly in seven years, she didn’t look much different. She had a few more wrinkles around her eyes and had gained a few pounds, but she was still a good-looking woman.
Jordan’s body tensed as she recalled their last interaction. She had returned to the apartment they’d shared a week after she’d discovered Kelly in their bed with her TA.
Kelly had tried to apologize; she’d said she’d made a mistake and didn’t want to live without her. Jordan’s fists clenched as she remembered the yelling and crying, how Kelly had tried to hold and kiss her, and how she had pushed Kelly away. The woman who stood before her had ripped her heart out and had then wanted forgiveness and to spend their lives together. Jordan had told her to go to hell and that she’d never wanted to see her again.
The very last thing she had heard about Kelly had been that she’d moved out of state after they’d graduated from college. That had been a huge relief, as she’d thought she would never have to see Kelly again. But here she was, standing right in front of her.
Kelly looked over at Kirsten before turning back to Jordan. “How are you?”
Jordan shook herself out of her stupor. “I’m great. This is Kirsten. Kirsten, this is Kelly.”
Kirsten squeezed her hand tighter, and she winced at the pain. When she saw how tense Kirsten appeared, almost like she wanted to rip Kelly apart, her heart swelled. She gave Kirsten’s hand a gentle press to let her know she was okay.
Kirsten visibly relaxed then extended her hand to Kelly. “It’s nice to meet you. Honey, would you mind if I went over there?” Kirsten pointed to the vendor selling flowers. “I’ll be right back.”
Jordan nodded and accepted her kiss before she walked away. She studied Kirsten’s back as she went, grateful for her understanding. Then she turned back to Kelly. “What are you doing here? I heard you moved out of town after we graduated.”
“I did. I’m just in town for a few days to visit some friends.” She nodded her head in Kirsten’s direction. “She seems nice. Have you been together long?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, we haven’t been together long.”
“Huh.”
Jordan’s anger was starting to surface. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Kelly held her hand up and said, “Settle down, Jordan. I had just heard through the grapevine that you don’t really date. It just surprised me is all.”
Jordan glanced back to Kirsten, who was smelling different bouquets of flowers. “I didn’t, but Kirsten is special. She’s been the first one since…” She didn’t want to continue that thought, so she changed directions. “Kirsten’s different. We had a connection from the very beginning, something I’ve never felt before.”
Kelly stepped closer and put a hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I still kick myself for what I did to you and the way I treated you. I hope one day you can forgive me.”
Jordan saw the sincerity in Kelly’s eyes and decided it was time to finally let it go or at least try. What did Grandma used to say to me? Being unable to forgive someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die? I don’t want to drink the poison anymore.
“Thank you for saying that. I haven’t been ready or able to forgive you, but I am now. I see that what we had wasn’t going to last. It was special—you were special—but it wasn’t true love. I know that now that I’m with Kirsten. You and I were just kids and didn’t have what it took to make a lifelong commitment.”
Jordan looked over at Kirsten and smiled when Kirsten winked at her. That one wink settled her world. Kirsten was the anchor in her storm. She turned back to Kelly. “I wish you the best, Kelly. You take care.” She turned and began walking over to Kirsten, to her love, to her future.
When Jordan finally reached her, Kirsten pulled a gorgeous bouquet of stargazer lilies out from behind her back and presented them to her.
“They’re lovely, thank you.” She pulled Kirsten into a heartfelt hug.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“I’m more than okay. Thank you for giving us a few minutes to clear the air.” She stepped back and cupped Kirsten’s cheek. “Being with you has given me the ability to finally forgive Kelly. Thank you for that gift.”
“I’m not sure how I did that, but I would do anything for you. You know that, right?”
“I do, and the same goes for me. Let’s go and get these flowers into a vase.”
Jordan held Kirsten’s hand as they walked back to the house. She was in awe of Kirsten. That Kirsten cared enough about her to trust her to do something she had needed to do for seven years was touching. She hadn’t acted jealous. She hadn’t been rude. She’d behaved with Jordan’s best interest at heart. She felt the stress of betrayal leave her body. For the first time in years, Jordan felt at peace.