4. Huntingdon Hall

The very north of England. In fact, pretty much in Scotland

Lord Large of Huntingdon smiled for the camera. They’d already done the outside shots of the gardens and rolling hills. Now they were inside, surrounded by the grandeur of the main hall. A chandelier hung low. A stag’s head adorned the wall, looking somewhat unimpressed, and a stuffed beaver sat on the mantelpiece. Looking a bit more closely, however, it was all a bit shabby. The furniture and carpets were threadbare in places.

‘My aim is to restore Huntingdon Hall to its former glory. Currently it’s an estate in a state. But my aim is to make it stately once more,’ he smiled, his brand-new teeth glinting at the reporter from the Berwick Chronicle. ‘At the moment the roof leaks, the gardens are wild and the bedrooms are damp. It’s heartbreaking that a house of such historical importance has been allowed to become so run down.’

The reporter was scribbling furiously. ‘So what are your plans, Your Lordship?’

‘I’m very interested in local history. As you are probably aware, this old house was at one time used as a game reserve. My wonderful staff and I will be returning it to its former glory. A century ago, this estate was famous for deer stalking and grouse shooting. My goal is for it to be a thriving hunting ground once more. My plan is to put the hunt back into Huntingdon Hall.’

No sooner had the reporter disappeared to file his story about the new owner of Huntingdon Hall, than the work began. Heavy lorries arrived and yellow diggers tore up the land. Within a month the 500-acre estate was circled by a six-metre-high electric fence. Just to be sure, a line of razor wire sat atop, alongside dozens of signs that shouted DANGER OF DEATH. Outside the fence was a sheer three-metre-deep moat full of swampy water. There was only one way in – an imposing iron gate, guarded by two burly men. Cameras dotted the estate so Lord Large could keep an eye on proceedings.

After all the work was completed the lord of the manor declared himself satisfied. ‘Nobody gets in and nobody gets out. Not without me knowing.’ He thrust a lever in his office and the electric fence buzzed into life.