It’s been ages since I enjoyed a film as much. Maybe it’s because it’s not the usual boy’s film I end up accompanying Jamie to, or Harry for that matter. He usually likes films on war or total devastation. Or it could be the company? Isabel and I share a tub of popcorn and it feels good. We laugh at the same lines in the movie and giggle as our fingers collide as we dive in for the same piece of popcorn. I feel relaxed around her. She’s proving to be one big surprise in my life and I can’t remember a time without her in it. Life is uncomplicated around her. She makes everything seem better and has an easy personality that draws me out of myself.
Once the film finishes, we head outside and, not wanting the evening to end, I say brightly, “Shall we grab a drink somewhere?”
She shakes her head and says regretfully, “I’m a little tired. Maybe because the lights were so dim in the cinema, it’s made me feel quite sleepy, actually.”
Rolling my eyes, I laugh. “You’re a lightweight. How old are you?”
She grins. “Twenty-four.”
I look at her in surprise. “Goodness, a whole ten years younger than me. I feel so old.”
She smiles sweetly. “You don’t look ten years older than me. I hope I look as amazing as you when I’m your age.”
“I’m sure you’ll look a lot better than me. Anyway, do you fancy a coffee at mine to wake you up?”
“Thanks, that sounds amazing.”
As we head back, I think about Isabel. Twenty-four is an age where you have the world at your feet. She’s good looking, funny, clever and a nice person. The trouble is, she’s been unlucky it seems and hasn’t been able to find that relationship yet that she deserves.
As soon as we get inside, I kick off my shoes and smile. “Come in and make yourself at home. I’ll put the kettle on.”
She flops down on the sofa and groans. “This feels so nice; I can’t believe how much I ache.”
Laughing, I head over and say sternly, “Here, lean forward and I’ll give you a neck massage. I’m quite good at them, apparently.”
She shifts around and I sit beside her and start massaging her shoulders. She groans and says gratefully, “You’re right, you’re good at this. That feels amazing.”
I say sternly, “Shh, silence please, so you get the full effect.”
As I work away, the silence surrounds us with only the sound of the passing cars outside to spoil the moment. As I work on Isabel’s shoulders, I find myself relaxing too. Her skin feels so soft, and I can smell that amazing scent she uses.
I start to feel a little warm and wonder if I’ve had too much to drink because it strikes me how much I’m enjoying feeling her skin beneath my fingers.
She arches back and murmurs, “That feels so good.”
I’m not sure why, but I have an overwhelming urge to sweep her hair away from her neck and kiss that soft perfumed skin beneath my fingers. Leaning forward, I take a deep breath and surround myself with her scent. She smells good, innocent and like home.
Feeling a little shocked, I pull away and say briskly, “Um... that should do the trick. Now, let me get that coffee.”
She settles back on the sofa and says gratefully, “That was amazing, thank you.”
Feeling a little wrong-footed, I leave the room and head to the kitchen and when inside, I lean my head against the fridge door. What just happened? It was as if I wanted Isabel. I mean, really wanted her. I wanted to feel her lips on mine and her skin against my skin. This is weird. I’ve never wanted to be with a woman before but I wanted it more than anything then. What’s happening to me?
Suddenly, I’m aware I’m not alone and look up to see Isabel standing in the doorway, looking a little worried.
“Are you ok, Tina? Do you feel unwell?”
Shaking away any thoughts I may have for her, I smile. “I’m ok, don’t worry, I just felt a little dizzy there for a moment.”
She looks concerned. “Maybe I should leave. You could get an early night and take advantage of having the house to yourself.”
She turns as if to go and I say sharply, “No, wait.”
As she turns towards me, I see the same look in her eyes that I’m sure is in mine and she says in a small voice, “I really think I should go, Tina.”
I’m not sure who moves first, but suddenly we are standing face to face and I can tell she feels the same. Call it a basic instinct, but it’s in her eyes.
Reaching out, I stroke the side of her face and notice how her lip trembles as she looks at me with those soft, innocent eyes and says breathlessly, “I should go but I can’t.”
There is that moment where you have an opening to escape from the rabbit hole. You peer into it and make a judgement based on what you know is the wrong thing. However, fate drives you down a different path, and your heart is the steering wheel. My rabbit hole is opening up right in front of me and I don’t even think.
I jump.
Suddenly, my lips find hers and rather than pull away, she presses them tightly against mine. As our tongues meet, I am carried away by the sweetest of sensations. I couldn’t stop myself if I tried, as I share the forbidden with Isabel and taste destruction. We kiss like two would be lovers and rather than pull away with confusion and apologies, we go with the moment and before I know what’s happening, I find my life spiralling out of control on a haze of forbidden lust.
* * *
When I wake the next morning, for the first time in weeks, I’m not alone. However, this time the person sharing my bed isn’t Harry.
I close my eyes and think back on a life-altering night. I slept with Isabel. Correction, I made love to Isabel. I know it was love because I felt it. Every touch, every kiss, every moan and every feeling were surrounded by love.
As I watch her sleeping peacefully, it strikes me how beautiful she is. Even with no makeup and with her eyes closed, she looks so perfect. Rather than feel ashamed, I feel as if I have found something I was always searching for. I’m not sure why, but I feel as if Isabel’s my soul mate. We think along the same lines, like the same things, and obviously share a desire for one another.
I don’t even feel guilty about cheating on Harry. After all, how can something be wrong when it’s obviously written in the stars. Yes, this complicates things but now I’ve found this feeling, I’m holding onto it like a drug addict loathe to come down from a high.
Suddenly, Isabel stirs and I see her eyelids flicker. I watch in wonder as she wakes up and opens her eyes. However, she obviously doesn’t share my certainty because she springs from the bed and says in a shocked voice, “Oh my god, what have we done?”