Soma heard the doorbell, but didn’t move. She was standing in the kitchen, sorting Louie’s clean clothes into piles, ready to be taken upstairs. She felt as though she’d been given a precious reprieve for a few days. Losing Sahan had been bad enough. To lose Louie just as abruptly would have been too terrible.
She heard Madam answer the door. The voice that responded to her greeting was Sahan’s. The world stopped. Sahan was here. Sahan. She had thought she would never see him again. But he was here? Had he changed his mind?
His voice carried on, talking to Madam. She couldn’t make out his words, but she could tell that whatever he was saying made Madam happy. There was no sign of his trying to come into the kitchen to see Soma. Her hopes, which had started to rise, froze. Madam was his cousin. Of course he’d come over to see her. He would have known he could come and talk to Madam without ever venturing upstairs into Louie territory. If she hadn’t got behind with her washing chores, she wouldn’t even be down here.
A tear rolled down her cheek and splashed onto one of Louie’s t-shirts. Soma sniffed and dried her cheek on her shoulder. She needed to get over this. It was cruel for Sahan to come to the house like this, but he didn’t owe her anything. Whatever she might feel for him, he clearly didn’t feel the same way about her. People like him didn’t fall in love with people like her. She’d known this all along. If only her feelings would respond to reason.
Footsteps came towards the kitchen. Soma knew from the measure and weight of them that it was Sahan. Behind him came Madam.
What should she do? She wanted to look at him, but what if he looked at her like he had done the night before? She couldn’t bear that. She could feel him coming closer. She bowed her head. Her heart throbbed in her ears.
He came in, but didn’t acknowledge her. He and Madam continued talking. Madam turned her back to reach for the coffee.
Soma shot a glance at Sahan from under her lashes, terrified to see his expression.
Sahan wasn’t scowling. His gaze caught hers. There was an urgency in his eyes, as though he was trying to tell her something. Almost imperceptibly, he shook his head. She quickly looked back down at her work.
Sahan and Madam were speaking English, but they weren’t talking about anything to do with her. They were discussing somewhere called Teesside, which was near where Sahan’s new job was going to be. Soma tuned it out, too distracted by the pounding of her own heart. Sahan was back. He didn’t hate her. He had come back.
She wished Madam would leave, so that she could talk to Sahan. What could she do to get her away from them? How could she engineer a few minutes alone with Sahan?
As though her prayers were heard, the phone rang. ‘What now?’ Madam sighed. She looked upwards for a few rings and sighed again. ‘Bim’s not going to answer it, is he?’
‘You get it,’ Sahan said. ‘I’ll get the coffee.’
The minute Madam left the room, Soma looked up. Sahan didn’t move from where he was, but put a finger to his lips, cautioning her to stay quiet until his cousin got to the phone. She tried to stream all her questions to him using just her eyes, but all he did was shake his head.
When she heard Madam say ‘hello’, she darted across the room to him. ‘You came back.’
He nodded. A small smile. ‘There’s one thing I need to know, before anything else. How old are you? Really?’
Oh. Of course. He might be back, but it was silly of her to expect nothing to have changed. ‘I’m twenty-one. Twenty-one and two weeks.’
His eyebrows drew together. ‘It was your birthday two weeks ago? You… never said.’ He stared at her for a second.
‘I…’ Of course she never said. What did he expect her to have done?
‘I suppose you couldn’t do that…’ He shook his head. ‘This is going to take a bit of getting used to.’
Did that mean he was willing to try getting used to it? Hope rose, warm and golden, in her chest. She could never go back to being her old self, but perhaps she didn’t have to.
‘Sahan.’
‘Yamuna told me she’s not sending you home.’ He pulled out a small phone, the same make as the one Kemasiri had stolen. ‘Here. I’ve put some credit on it. We don’t have long to talk now.’
She took it and slipped it into her cardigan pocket. ‘Thank you.’
He nodded, his mouth lifting up on one side.
‘I thought… I thought you hated me.’ Tears threatened again.
‘You lied to me. I don’t even know your birthday,’ he said, sounding weary rather than angry. ‘We have a lot to talk about.’
She nodded, there was no denying that.
Sahan glanced towards the door. ‘Soma, there’s something else I need to know,’ he said urgently. ‘On the night of the bus crash. Why were you on that bus in the first place?’
She stared at him. In her rush to explain, had she missed out the thing that started it all? She had. ‘I was running away from my stepfather.’ she said. ‘Because he hurt me the way Kemasiri tried to do.’
Her words struck him like a physical blow in the stomach. His view of her shifted again and he knew he was right to have come back. If only she’d told him that last night, he would have understood straight away.
She was watching him, her big eyes wide and fearful. A tear leaked out and ran down her cheek.
‘It’s okay,’ he said. Gently, he put his arm around her and drew her closer until she was leaning against him, awkwardly. ‘I had no idea,’ he whispered into the top of her head. ‘I will look after you, Soma. Don’t be afraid. I will never hurt you.’
She bowed her head and was quiet for a long moment. When she looked back up, he was surprised to see her eyes were dry. Her gaze met his. ‘I’m not afraid of that,’ she said. ‘If you’ll let me, I will look after you too.’
There was something fierce about her expression, a determination he hadn’t seen before. He smiled. ‘I’d like that.’
They heard footsteps on the landing. Soma sprang back, swiping the tears off her face with the back of her hand. She hurried back towards the pile of washing.
‘No. Wait.’ Sahan caught her hand.
‘But Madam—’ She tugged her hand away.
‘She has to find out sometime.’ Sahan took a step closer and put his other hand out, so that hers was sandwiched between his two warm ones.
At that moment, Yamuna appeared in the doorway. ‘What the hell is going on here?’
Yamuna stared at the two young people. Soma looked terrified. Sahan looked determined. Was Sahan holding Soma’s hand against her will? For a second, she was genuinely baffled as to what she was seeing. ‘Well?’
Soma glanced at Sahan and he smiled at her. Soma seemed to relax. She stopped pulling away and took a small step towards Sahan. They both turned to look at her.
Fragments fell into place in Yamuna’s mind. ‘You two,’ she gasped. ‘You’re together.’ Her first feeling was relief that Sahan wasn’t another person that she needed to protect Soma from. Close behind that came the shock. ‘Sahan. What are you doing? What will your parents say?’
Sahan shifted his weight. ‘I… think we need to talk.’
Yamuna didn’t know which one of them to glare at first. Sahan, who really should know better. Or Soma, who seemed to be a different person every time she looked at her. ‘I’ll say we do.’ She made a decision. She couldn’t deal with this on her own. ‘You,’ she said to Sahan. ‘Come with me. We’re going to see Bim.’ She turned to go upstairs, then turned back. ‘You,’ she said to Soma. ‘Stay here.’