Tossing and turning, I doubt I’ve gotten over five hours of sleep. All my thoughts are of Justin, but after last night, I’m trying to avoid being alone with him. I run into Mr. Arrogant on my way downstairs.
“Hey, sweet-cheeks. Are you riding with me and Tanya this morning?”
Since the stunt Jackson pulled, I’d been riding to school with Justin. I don’t think that’s a good idea today. “Yeah, sure.”
His face lights up. “Bet. We’ll leave in a few. I’ll be waiting in the car.”
I scurry into the kitchen quickly, hoping to avoid him. After I grab a banana, I almost make it out the door.
“You’re not riding with me today?”
Darn it! Sighing, I turn to face the music. Justin is standing against the stair banister. “Jackson offered me a lift…. I wasn’t sure if you had plans after school.” His Adam’s apple bobs. He’s not buying it. Jackson blows his horn.
Justin’s eyes cut to the ceiling. “He’s in a hurry.”
“That’s surprising, since him and Tanya are usually running late.”
Justin grins, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. I have to give him credit for trying to play off how awkward I’m acting. As soon as Tanya left us to studying yesterday, I ran to my bedroom.
His eyebrow rises. “I’ll catch you later, then.”
“See you in school.” I bolt, spinning on my heels. Just being near him makes my head spin. The emotions Justin brings out of me are unnerving, feelings I’ll have to analyze later without a clue of what to do with them.
Jackson is barely out of the driveway before my cell pings. I sense who the message is from after brushing him off. I cringe, reading the text.
Madi, I’m sorry if I overstepped my boundaries yesterday. Please don’t be upset.
My heart contracts, immediately feeling worse. I’m scared of what will happen if we pursue a relationship. This isn’t a normal situation.
Texting back, I reply, I’m not mad.
Then why r u giving me the cold shoulder? U nearly broke your neck getting outta here.
Busted!
I just need some space.
There is a long pause before he responds.
I’m not sure what 2 do with that.
We’re good. I just don’t wanna rush into anything we might regret.
I can respect that. As long as you’re not shutting me out.
I promise, I’m not.
K. Just please don’t avoid me. It wounds my ego.
I can’t help grinning from ear to ear. That is so Justin, to joke in the midst of a stressful issue. It’s one of many things I like about him.
Your ego’s so huge, there’s plenty of room for it to be knocked down a peg.
Lol!
Jackson glimpses at me over his shoulder. Tanya is sitting shotgun. She bops her head to the beat of the music, not paying me any attention.
“What are you smiling about?” Jackson asks. “I want in on the joke.”
I smile wider. The twins are like night and day.
* * *
My weekend is not eventful. Mama and Regan go out Saturday night after working all day. Tanya and I watch movies with the twins. Before they came into our lives, my sister never would’ve watched TV with me. She preferred to hang out with her friends.
It’s a pity a total stranger has welcomed me with open arms into his family when my blood sister never has. My cousin, Dariel has always been more like a sister. We’ve been tight as white since middle school.
Thinking of Dari makes me homesick. We have been keeping in touch every week. I still miss her and my Gigi Thibodeaux. Being around Justin has helped my transition. Dropping my guard and letting him in turned out to be a good thing. Although I’m still cautious about becoming more than friends. It’s a fine line to tread. I don’t want to chance ruining what we have now—an easy-going companionship.
On Monday, an Honor Society meeting saves Justin and me from having a study session today. I haven’t been alone with him since we kissed. I can’t stop thinking about the one we shared. I’ve daydreamed about it constantly. I do want to study and spend time with Justin, I just fear what will happen if we do.
My cell pings, receiving a text message after school. Glancing at the number, I don’t recognize it.
U got detention r something? What’s taking u so long 2 get 2 the parking lot?
Who’s this?
I text back, having an idea, although I wasn’t even aware, he had my number. I didn’t give it to him.
Jay!
How did u get my number?
Our parent’s r living together & knocking boots. It ain’t that hard.
I smirk at my screen. Jackson is the crude twin.
I have an Honor Society meeting today.
Want me 2 swing by later 2 pick u up?
It’s nice of Jackson to offer. For some reason he ruffles me, and I don’t want to be alone in the car with him.
I’m not sure what time we’ll be done, so I’ll just ride the after-school bus home. Thanks, though.
Suit yourself.
Justin is leaning against a wall next to my locker as he’s begun a pattern of doing. His hazel eyes study me, searching. I ponder what he comes up with. A shiver surges through my body as I get a flashback of last week’s kiss.
“We haven’t gotten a chance to study all week, Madi. Are we on for tonight?”
I’ve practiced several times today making up an excuse for why we can’t study. A believable one, where he won’t know I’m dodging him. I’d come up with a fake honor meeting. Those words don’t leave my mouth. Maybe I’m over thinking it. I end up saying, “Yeah, we can.”
One week! That’s the sum total of my restraint for Justin. I suck. Well, I’m more like putty in his hands. After I exchange books, I close my locker. The green-eyed monster strikes when the gorgeous chick I’ve seen flirting with Justin comes around the corner. On the first day of school, Jennifer had basically knocked me out of the way.
As she passes by, her eyes roam hungrily over Justin and I earn a sneer. Rolling my eyes, I zip my backpack. “You know, if I had a dollar for every time a fangirl shot me a murderous glare, I would be rich.”
Justin snorts. “Don’t mind Jen. We broke up a while back.”
He takes my backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. Such a gentleman. Whenever he walks me to class, he carries my bag. Envious stares have become part of my daily routine. Jennifer used to just turn up her nose at me. Now she looks at me like she wants me dead.
“I don’t think Jennifer got that memo. She still wants you, along with so many others.”
“Well, Jen and I are history. Besides, I’m only interested in one person.”
A ping of envy courses through me, and then I wonder if he means me. I don’t dare ask—not wanting to fall into a trap. “Well, she’s got me on her hate list, regardless,” I share with him.
He narrows his eyes. “Has Jen or anyone else given you problems?”
“Besides the death glares, not really.” I change my footing.
“Hey, don’t worry about her or anyone else. Most of them only want two things. To get into me or my brother’s pants, or they want to get in good because they know my dad’s loaded. It gets old.”
I understand his point of view. I have a different problem—I’m the odd girl out. These girls see me as a threat. I don’t like attention, especially the negative kind. I would much rather fall into the background.
As if he can read my mind, he asks, “We’re good, right?” I nod. “Okay, then, let’s get to class.”
Justin pierces me with a heated look—one with promise. What is he up to? Opening a door leading to hall stairs, he entwines our fingers and pulls me quickly into the staircase. A tingle shoots through my body. He scopes out our surroundings. Since the tardy bell is about to ring, the staircase is empty.
“I can’t stop thinking about you—about that kiss,” Justin whispers.
Barely having time to process his words, he presses my body against him, and then captures my mouth in a dynamite kiss. I grip the back of his neck. He pulls me closer. Panic of getting busted flies to the rear of my mind as we really start getting into it. Our tongues dance and my body ignites in passion. His natural smell of cinnamon spice fills my senses, and I want more of him. He groans, kissing me harder as his hand rubs the center of my back.
“Well, well. What do we have here?”
Pulling away abruptly, I stare wide-eyed at Jackson. My cheeks grow scarlet. In a way, I’m relieved it’s only him. On the other hand, his brother catching us mortifies me.
Jackson shakes his head with a mischievous grin stretching across his face. “I figured something was going on with you two. I just didn’t have a clue of how intense it was.”
I shift my weight. My body is rigid.
“Give it a rest, Jay,” Justin warns.
Jackson throws up his hands in surrender. “Be lucky I wasn’t a hall monitor. With the way y’all were going at it, you definitely would’ve gotten detention.”
“We don’t need a run down,” Justin snorts.
“Hey, I’m all for going after what you want.” Jackson’s jaw muscles flex. “You didn’t have to hide it from me though, bro.”
The final bell rings, making me jump. Great, now Jackson is thrown into the mix. Something tells me that he isn’t going to let this go.
* * *
Justin shut off the engine a while ago. We’re sitting silently in the driveway inside his SUV.
“Don’t pay attention to Jackson. You should have some insight now as to how he is.”
“What’s his deal? I can’t figure him out.”
Justin leans back, biting his bottom lip. “He’s a Rube Goldberg device. I was his womb mate and half the time, he still puzzles me.”
He squirms in his seat. I haven’t known Justin long, but I sense he’s withholding information. “If there’s more to it, just tell me.”
Sighing, he admits, “Jackson kinda has a thing for you, too.”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “You’re serious?” He nods. “I thought him and Tanya were buddies.”
“They are, but he’s into you.”
“I’m … not sure what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“It just makes it worse.”
“This doesn’t involve him. This is between us.”
“I disagree. I like you, Justin, but he’s your brother. I don’t want to come between you guys. I’m trying to fit in as it is.”
“I know my brother, and Jay has a thing for a different girl every month. He doesn’t feel the way about you like I do.”
Justin’s admission makes me gasp. Around campus Jackson is known as the school slut. Coincidentally, that seems to make chicks lust after him more. Ultimately, none of this changes Justin’s and my situation. “Maybe you’re right. Although, it’s not only him I’m worried about.”
“It’s the backlash of our folks dating?” asks Justin.
I bore holes into the floor car mat. My silence speaks volumes.
“So where does this leave us?”
“I think we should leave things how they are. It’s less complicated that way.”
Justin understands exactly what I mean. His mouth forms into a tight line. This isn’t what my heart desires. I just feel it’s best for everyone.