Tears drip down Dariel’s face as I repeat the same story, I’d told Gigi. I can trust Dari with my secret. She’s my best friend. She knew something was up when I called her later on Saturday, informing her I’m moving back to Baton Rouge.
Dari came over the next day. At first, she had the same response as Gigi. She wondered if I’d been fooling around with Jackson, finally coming to the conclusion that Jackson had pulled the wool over my eyes. Her next emotion was anger, then the tears came.
Biting my nails, I sit silently, waiting on her verdict.
“Oh, Madie. I’m so sorry. Was the bathroom incident the last time he harassed you?”
I look away. “Sort of?”
“You can tell me?”
“The day after my birthday, I found the box of earrings I’d left in the bathroom on my nightstand.”
Dari gasps. “The mofo is crazy coming into your bedroom and leaving them. What did you do?”
“Jackson texted me. Basically, saying he was offended I hadn’t graciously accepted his gift, but he was certain I’d have a change of heart.”
Creases form on Dari’s forehead. “In other words, threatening you.”
“In a non-direct way.”
“It still counts.”
I nod in agreeance. “After his stunt, I didn’t put anything past him. I … wore the earrings for a while.” I bore holes into the floor ashamed.
“I don’t blame you. There’s no telling what Jackson would have done if he saw you not wearing them.”
“At that point, I think Jackson was just having fun with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Justin saw me wearing the earrings. Jackson purposely commented how nice they were, and my boyfriend must really like me. I remained silent, and Justin believed him.”
Light dawns in Dari’s eyes. “It had been Jackson’s intentions all along to make Justin jealous by stirring the pot, since you rejected him. He’s an awful person.”
“At least I don’t have to deal with him any longer.”
Dari shifts her weight. “So, you want to keep his baby?”
“She’s my baby.” I shrug. “I don’t want to terminate her.”
“Do you feel you’re ready to be a mom? What about adoption?”
“If I carry a baby for nine months, I’m not sure I can give her away,” I sigh. “I don’t think I’m ready to be a mom, but I have to be.”
“Can you love her … under the circumstances?”
“I already do. Her father may be wicked, but I’m not holding it against her.”
“If this is what you want, then I’m here for you.”
“I appreciate it.”
“I can’t believe your mom wasn’t giving you a choice.”
“Well, it’s out of her hands now. I shouldn’t be too surprised. Charlotte is selfish. She won’t support anything that will be a burden to her.”
“Our moms have always been at odds. My mom despises yours, and I don’t know why. But she’s a good mother to me and it sucks you don’t have a supportive one.”
“It is what it is.”
“Does ... Justin know?”
“About the pregnancy or that I’m moving back?”
“Both? And the most important factor, who the father is?”
I cringe. Dari can’t help how candid she is. “Justin has no idea it’s his brother’s.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay. I know you meant no harm. I told Justin the same lie—the father goes to Elsik High.”
Dari blows out her breath. “Do you want Jackson to pay or just pretend it didn’t happen?”
The million dollar question of the year? “If I keep it locked away and never tell another soul, do you think that makes me a coward?”
Dari’s brow knits. “No, it doesn’t. I couldn’t handle it if this happened to me. You’re a strong person to even go through this, striving for the future.”
“I don’t feel strong. At times, I feel like I’ll crumble.” I exhale. “For now, I want to forget. I can’t face bringing it all out in the open.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“I will now that I’m back home.”
Dari’s lips curl upward, and she squeezes my hand. “If it’s any consolation, I’m glad you’re back. I just wish it were under different circumstances.”
* * *
My grandma Thibodeaux speaks with Mama, letting her know I won’t be returning. Gigi tells me the rest of my things will be shipped from Houston soon. Mama hasn’t called me, and I couldn’t be more relieved.
Gigi is in the process of getting me registered in the alternative school. Hopefully, I can start by next week and finish up my junior year before summer. I haven’t missed any school this year. Having missed a couple of days shouldn’t be an issue. The school offers courses during the summer. I’ll have to be out for at least six weeks after the birth. I should be able to take both summer courses before I give birth, a jump start for my senior year. That will only leave me with one more five-week course I can take late fall or early winter. As long as I stick to the plan, I’ll stay on track. I can then finish my last senior semester, graduating from Winsten.
* * *
Taking a deep breath, I select his number and press send. His phone rings four times before he picks up.
“Madison?”
“Hi, Justin.”
“Why did you leave?” he doesn’t hesitate to ask.
Tired of not telling him the truth, I go with as much of it as I can. “I didn’t have much choice.”
“I’m sorry about what I said. I was upset … jealous mostly. I want what’s best for you.”
His confession throws me for a loop. “Ah, Justin…. I feel the same way about you. You’re not the reason I left.”
“Well, why did you just take off? You didn’t even say good-bye.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t…. It would’ve been too hard.”
He’s silent for a moment. “Yeah, I probably would’ve made it difficult, not wanting you to go. When are you coming back?”
“I plan on living with my grandma now. She’s going to help support me.”
“We can support you in Houston. My dad is not thrilled, but he’s not a tool. I’ve already spoken with him. You are part of our family now, so he’ll help you with finances.”
Justin never ceases to amaze me. “That’s very kind of him and you. It’s complicated why I can’t return. My mom is one of many problems. Returning to Baton Rouge seems like the best choice, since my grandma will help me.”
“What did your mom say?”
“She wanted me to get an abortion. Basically, she made the choice for me. She’d already taken me to a clinic and set up an appointment to get rid of it.”
Justin inhales deeply. “What?”
“I couldn’t go through with it. Not after seeing my baby on the ultrasound. Maybe I’ll decide on adoption, or I might keep her. No matter the circumstances, I can’t get an abortion.”
“You don’t have to explain. I’m not fond of abortion, either. What’s your mom’s problem? It’s your body, your choice. She can’t force you.”
“No, but by not supporting my decision, she can make my life harder. It’s difficult enough.”
He sighs. “I hate she’s giving you unreasonable options, forcing you to leave.”
“If I had tried to force her hand, it wouldn’t have blown over well. You’ve only seen her ‘win you over side’. I can’t say I’m shocked about her not supporting my pregnancy. She’s not going to do anything that will hinder her routine.”
“I thought Charlotte was decent. Now I’ve lost respect for her.”
“At least I have my grandma.”
“I’m glad you have her, too.” Justin clears his throat. “Hope I’m not overstepping my boundaries, but I assume you’re not with that guy anymore. You said Charlotte was only one problem. I got a feeling, he’s the other.”
His statement is almost comical. Justin doesn’t have a clue. The dude in question has never been my boyfriend. The joke of the year is the accused is his other half. Even if my mom wasn’t trying to force me into having an abortion, staying in Baton Rouge is my best option. I’m safe from the manipulation of his twin. It’s probably better for Justin, too. By not having to live with me anymore, he can move on. I’ve hurt him enough. He deserves to be with someone who is whole, not the broken girl I’ve become.
“He won’t be a problem anymore,” I reply.
“Do I need to beat his ass?”
I snort. Justin only uses profanity when he’s pissed. “I appreciate you having my back.”
“I’m serious, Madi. If he did something to cause you harm, I won’t hesitate. Tell me his first and last name?”
“That won’t be necessary but thank you. It means so much you still care.”
“Always … that won’t ever change.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I don’t trust myself to talk.
“Are you going back to your old high school?”
“Not right away. I don’t know the details yet, but I’ll be going to an alternative school to finish my junior year.” Both of us hold the phone. I sense we’re thinking the same thing.
Justin breaks the silence. His voice is barely above a whisper. “I guess this is good-bye.”
Tears stream down my cheeks. “I would like to keep in touch. I mean, our parents are supposed to be getting married this year.” I don’t want anything to do with his womb mate. If I am being honest, I’m kinda relieved our parents’ relationship will allow us to still have a connection. In the rear of my mind, I know I’ll be able see Justin again. He won’t be out of my life completely.
“Me, too. So, it’s okay if I check in on you?”
“Only if I can check on you, also.”
“I’d like that. Take care of yourself, Dora.”
I choke on a sob. “You, too, Diego. Don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t.”
I hang up before I break down over the phone. Confessing to Gigi and Dari proved difficult. Talking to Justin feels more painful. Why is that? Our paths have changed courses. Knowing Justin won’t be a constant in my life anymore is hard to bear. This is all part of me moving forward. It sure doesn’t make it any easier.