SITTING ACROSS FROM KENNY at Schroeder’s, Phillip felt uncomfortably out of place. His friend looked so prosperous and self-assured; Phillip was miserably conscious of his ill-fitting suit, cheap tie, and scarred cheek.
Kenny broke the silence. “How’s that drink holding up?”
Phillip, startled, asked, “What?”
“Another martini?”
“Sure, don’t mind if I do.”
When the drinks came, Kenny said, “What do you feel like eating?”
Past echoes rang eerily through Phillip’s head. I don’t know—what do you want? I don’t know much about Chinese food. His and Ann’s first date …
“Phil? You still there?”
Phillip looked at him blankly. “Oh … Whatever you’re having, Kenny.”
“What else? Sauerbraten and Schnitzel and Wein—ja?”
“Jawohl!” Phillip tried to join in the joke.
If the rest of the world had changed, Schroeder’s had not. The dark, wood-paneled dining room with the huge brass-railed bar was exactly the same as the last time Phillip had seen it some six years earlier. He actually found himself relaxing and enjoying the delicious meal.
It was only as the waiter brought their coffee that Kenny made his offer.
Phillip set his cup down abruptly and stared at his friend. On the one hand, the job was a godsend. No need to pound the streets, no need to endure nerve-racking interviews. On the other hand, it was galling—a lifeline thrown to a miserable slob who couldn’t make it on his own.
Phillip felt a spurt of anger that fate had placed Kenny in a position to act as benefactor and himself in the role of supplicant. Kenny’s father had been in practice in San Francisco for almost fifty years and had built a thriving practice. All Kenny had had to do was show up the day after graduation and be escorted to a plush office with his name newly lettered on the door. Nathan Newman hadn’t squandered Kenny’s future the way Simon had ruined Phillip’s chances. It wasn’t just.
Then Phillip reminded himself that he was being unreasonable. Kenny was doing him a favor. The real question he had to face was whether he could handle the stress of any job, let alone a legal practice. The thought of trying and failing terrified him, especially under Kenny’s eyes. But how could he say no?
“You really need my help?”
Kenny chose his words carefully. “We always need a good researcher, and right now we especially need someone good in pretrial procedure. I remember you were the best in the class at that back at Boalt.”
“That was a long time ago, Kenny.”
“It’ll come back to you, Phil. Come on, how about it?”
Phillip lit a cigarette. “Okay. We’ll give it a whirl.”
Kenny smiled. “Good man!”
Phillip looked at him, and for a moment it was as if the years since law school had never passed. With real confidence, he set his starting date and started off toward home. He could do it! Given this opportunity with a good law firm, he could be a success! He would be able to give Ann everything she wanted; he would recapture the enthusiasm and energy he had felt when he had first married her.
As Phillip turned at Union Square, he glimpsed his reflection in a shop window and was momentarily taken aback. What a sight he was in his shabby suit with its baggy prewar cut! Across the square was Bullock and Jones. It was an expensive men’s store, but why not? He had a job, didn’t he? The time had come to start living like a human being once again.
Before he could lose his nerve, he walked inside. Turning to the racks of fine worsteds with an unconsciously professional air, he quickly made a selection and, before he knew it, he was in front of a three-way mirror in an impeccable three-piece gray flannel suit. He straightened his shoulders and instantly the suit fell into line: no need even for a tailor. He didn’t look bad at all, did he? In the well-cut suit, his thinness became an asset.
“I’ll take it,” he announced, suddenly decisive. “And six white button-down shirts.”
By the time he was through, he had acquired not only a navy rep tie and a discreet burgundy silk, but a pair of polished black calf wing-tips.
“I’ll need to set up a charge account.” After giving his home address, he listed his business with a touch of pride: Newman, Ross, Simons, and Newman.
As Ann heard the key in the front door, she hurried from the kitchen, stripping off her apron and smoothing her hair.
“Phillip …” She stopped trying to hide her surprise. “You’ve gotten some new clothes, sweetheart. How wonderful!”
“Ann, you’ll never guess. Kenny has offered me a position. I start work on Monday.”
“And you’ve accepted. Oh, Phillip, I’m so happy for you!”
They flew into each other’s arms and hugged each other tightly.
Kissing her, he whispered, “Ann, darling, I love you so. You’ve been so patient with me. Now everything will be fine, I promise.”
Laughing, crying, Ann hugged him again. “Sweetheart, I know you’ll be great.”
“You know, I was a bit surprised. Kenny hadn’t given any hint he was thinking of hiring me before today.”
“He was probably waiting for you to get your strength back,” Ann said quickly.
“I suppose that was it,” Phillip agreed, a trifle doubtfully.
“Well, I always knew you were a genius, Phillip, and I guess Kenny knows it too….”
That night, when for the first time since his return, Phillip was able to make love to her, she was certain they were embarking on a bright new future.