11

Next morning Jim did not sit next to me at breakfast. He sat at the far end of the table and did not look at me. After breakfast we worked together at the washing up, but he did not speak to me. I asked him a question about Australia to show him that I wanted to talk to him. He did not answer me.

When I had the coffee made I took him a cup. He was sitting in one of the arm chairs at the end of the ward reading a newspaper.

‘I’ve brought you your coffee, Jim. Tell me if you want any more sugar in it.’

He looked up at me and said, ‘Bugger off, you bloody little pansy!’

I put the cup and saucer down by his chair. I went back to the kitchen and stood at the sink. I put my hand across my eyes and pressed. I stood with my hand pressed over my eyes trying to prevent myself from crying. I kept saying to myself, ‘Jim isn’t well. Jim isn’t well.’ Then I sat down on a chair by the draining board and started crying. Someone came into the kitchen. I did not see who it was. He went out again. When I stopped crying I went to the sink and put cold water on my eyes.