“Um… I have to go to the school,” I said around a huge mouthful of fruity ring cereal.
“Huh?” Xavier asked with a chuckle.
I motioned for him to wait. Why did he ask me a question right after he watched me take a bite of cereal and then expect to understand me when I tried to answer? I wondered if all men were that unbelievably frustrating or just the men in my life.
I took a drink of orange juice to wash down my cereal and repeated myself. “I have to go to the school.”
“Why?” He picked at the crust of his toast, the black crumbs making a mess on the table.
“I need to drop my classes before it’s too late to get a refund.”
“They put a limit on that?”
I smiled. “Yes. Why didn’t you start school?”
“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up,” he said with a grin, and my stomach did a little twitch thing. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but it tickled and I was positive it wasn’t something I should be feeling when it came to Xavier.
“Ah.” I took another big bite of cereal, which, of course, was his signal to ask me another question.
“Want some company?”
Taking my time chewing, I tried to figure out a way to turn him down without hurting his feelings. I decided there wasn’t a way, so I smiled and nodded. He grinned until I said, “I was going to call Muriel and Drew and see if they wanted to go, too.”
“They don’t have class?”
“Just in the early morning. They’ll be done by eleven. We’ll be on the road by lunch. We could stop for something to eat and then go.”
“Sure.” I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I felt bad, but I didn’t want him to misunderstand and think it was a date or something.
I texted Muriel and asked her and Drew to go with us. She answered right away.
Me: Want to ride to Ann Arbor with me so I can drop my classes?
Muriel: Road trip! Yay!
Me: I guess that’s a yes.
If Jen was home from school and could go, it would’ve been the whole group of demi-angels, except Chay.
Since everyone was going, we needed a bigger car. So I drove to my dad’s office and switched out my car for his SUV. On my way back to Xavier’s house, I made a detour.
My legs shook on my way up the walk. My hands were shaking so bad the keys I held rattled. I shoved them in the pocket of my jeans and took a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I jammed my finger on the doorbell before I could change my mind.
The door opened almost immediately. “Milayna, it’s so good to see you,” Mrs. Roberts’ said. Reaching out, she gave me a hug. She smelled slightly of roses and gardenia, comforting smells. Her blonde curls were pulled back loosely in a clip at the base of her neck, and she wore faded jeans and a T-shirt. She looked like a teenager herself, not the mother of one.
“Hi, Mrs. Roberts. How are you?”
“I’m good.” She smiled. “Are you here to see him?”
I felt my cheeks blush. Looking down at my hands clasped in front of me, I nodded. “That is, if he’ll see me.”
“It’s a big adjustment for you both. A lot has happened—is happening. Please give him some time, Milayna. Don’t give up on him yet.”
“Oh, Mrs. Roberts, that’s the last thing you need to worry about. I… well, I… um.” I laughed a short, nervous laugh. It was hard telling your ex-boyfriend’s mother that you were still in love with her son. “I… love him. I’m not going anywhere.”
She cupped my cheek with her hand, and smiled at me. “He’s in his bedroom. Why don’t you just go down there? You remember where it is, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I walked past the two-way fireplace that separated the living room from the formal dining room. Turning down the hall, I walked to the last door on the left and stood in front of it. It was so much harder than I’d thought it’d be.
I shouldn’t be nervous. It’s not like I’m asking him out on a date. The whole group is going. I just don’t want him to feel left out. Yeah, right.
I reached up and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” he called.
I walked into the room. First, his face registered surprise. Clearly, I was the last person he thought would walk through his door. Then he masked his surprise fairly well with indifference, but I could see through the cracks. There was something there. Something more. I just couldn’t make out what it was.
“Hi,” I said.
Idiot. That’s all you can think of?
“Hey.”
Okay, we’re getting somewhere. He didn’t order me out. He actually spoke… sorta.
“Um… I was wondering if you wanted to go with the group to Ann Arbor.”
“Why?”
“Everyone’s going. I didn’t want you to feel left out if we didn’t ask,” I answered.
“Well, thanks for thinking of my ever-so-sensitive feelings, but that’s not what I was asking. Why are you going to Ann Arbor?”
Ever-so-sensitive feelings? Sarcasm. This isn’t going as well as I’d hoped.
I shrugged a shoulder. “I need to withdraw from my classes.”
“You’re not going back to school?”
“Not until this mess is cleared up. Hopefully next semester.” I shifted and leaned on my left leg. He didn’t ask me to sit.
“And you’ll go to Ann Arbor?” he asked.
I shrugged a shoulder. I didn’t know where I’d go. The plan had been for Chay and me to go to college together. We were going to take our minor courses at the community college in South Bay and then transfer to one of the universities for our major courses. But that had changed when Chay left. A lot had changed.
“I guess it’ll depend on what’s here to make me want to stay,” I said, my gaze locked on his. “What about you? What do you think you’ll be doing?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. “I guess it depends on what’s here to make me want to stay.”
“Chay, I—”
“Who all is going on the road trip?” he interrupted.
I blew out a breath. “The group.”
“Everyone?”
“Yes. Except Jen. She’s away at school,” I said.
“I don’t think—what are you doing?”
Walking to the bed where he sat, I lowered myself next to him. I turned so my body was angled toward his. “I want to talk. I can sit here all day if I need to.”
“What about the others? They’re waiting for you.”
“They’ll get over it.”
“Fine. Talk.”
“Why are you so angry with me?”
His face softened just for a second. For a tiny moment, I saw my Chay. The one who loved me as much as I loved him. “I’m not angry with you, Milayna.”
“Then why did you leave?” Tears pushed behind my eyes. I didn’t care. I let them fall. Maybe he’d understand how much it hurt me, hurt everyone, when he left. He reached out and gently brushed away a tear with the pad of his thumb. Realizing what he’d done, he jerked his hand back and leaned back on his elbows on the bed. “Why didn’t you come to me? Why did you stay away?” I asked.
“I can’t be around you.”
“Look at me when you say that.”
He turned his head and looked into my eyes. “I don’t want to be around you, Milayna.”
Pain ricocheted through me. It felt like someone set off a pinball in my head and it slammed from side to side. My heart skipped more than one beat, stuttering and making it hard to take a breath. “Oh. That kind of changes things.”
“Yes. It does,” he agreed quietly.
“Okay then. I’ll… just.” I stood and waved my hand toward the door. “Goodbye, Chay.” I bit down hard on my lip to keep it from quivering.
“Damn it, Milayna, wait.”
I stopped with one hand on the doorknob, keeping my back to him.
“I love you,” he murmured.
I could feel the breath rush out of me. I could feel my heart slow. My shoulders sagged, and I leaned my head against the door to keep from falling.
I’d waited six months to hear those words again. Six long months. But somehow, he made them sound wrong.
“You can’t love me, Chay. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t tell a person you love them but don’t want to be around them. It doesn’t work like that. You just took the three words I’ve waited six months to hear and ruined them.”
I started to open the door. Chay jumped up and was behind me in three long strides. He flattened his palm against the wood and pushed it closed, holding it while he talked. His lips were so close to my ear that my hair moved under his breath.
“I don’t want to be with you because I can’t risk Abaddon using me to hurt you. I almost… I almost killed you. It’s too dangerous for us to be together.”
“Abaddon’s dead,” I said, turning to him.
“Dead? How?”
“I killed him.”
“Of course you did,” he said, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck and laughing a harsh, bitter laugh. “I should’ve known.” He let go of the door and took a step back.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“The great Milayna to the rescue. Saving the day when no one else can.”
“Wait—what? Why are you mad?”
“Nothing. Just forget it.”
I laughed. It was cold and harsh, just like the man in front of me. “Oh, I see. You’re mad because it wasn’t you who killed him.”
“No! I’m mad because I wasn’t strong enough to resist him and you were!” I could tell by the look on his face he hadn’t meant for his words to slip out.
“Chay…” I reached out to him, but he stepped away from me. “Abaddon is to blame for what happened. Not you. I wasn’t under a curse or spell or whatever you want to call it—you were. You were under a demon’s curse and you were able to fight it. That takes a helluva lot more strength than poking him with a dagger.” Curling my fingers into a fist, I let my arm fall slowly to my side.
“Just go. Have fun on your road trip.”
“Please…” I reached out to him once more. My hand cupped his cheek before he stepped away.
“I’m sure I’ll see you soon. The Four Brothers or the goblins will be around sooner or later.” When I didn’t leave, he reached around me and opened the door. “Goodbye, Milayna.”
Biting my bottom lip, I looked at the floor and nodded. There wasn’t anything left for me to say except, “I love you, too, Chay. Always have.”
I walked out of his room, flinching when the door closed behind me.
***
“Is this everyone?” Muriel asked me with a knowing look.
“Yeah.”
“Did you ask him?”
I sighed loudly. “You know I did,” I said, trying to convey my frustration that she wouldn’t leave it alone, “and you know he said no, so can we drop it. Please?”
“Seems to me you know who’d be good for you. The one who’s here with you.” Muriel’s gaze flicked to Xavier, who was waiting in the car.
“Leave it alone, Muriel. You aren’t helping,” I said quietly.
She shrugged a shoulder. “I’m just sayin’.”
I kicked at the ground with the toe of my shoe. “No, you’re just nagging.”
“Whatever. I just hope when you finally do come to your senses and realize who’s right for you that he hasn’t already moved on.”
“Muriel, I know you mean well and all, but please, for the love of all that’s holy, shut up.”
She laughed. She actually had the audacity to laugh at the pitiful excuse of my love life. I glared at her, and she laughed harder. Putting her arm around me, she pulled me into a tight hug. “I just don’t want to see you sitting around, waiting for something that isn’t gonna come when there’s a great guy who loves you and is ready for a relationship now—and who has no outward signs of psychosis.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know and I appreciate that you are trying to help, but it’s not helping.”
“Okay, okay, I give up.” She held her hands up in surrender. “My matchmaking skills suck. At least where you’re concerned.” She said with a smile. “Let’s get going, huh? I’m hungry.”
She climbed into the SUV and snapped her buckle in place, giving me a pointed look when I didn’t follow. I threw my hands up in frustration, stringing together a colorful word or two, and climbed behind the wheel.
Making a stop at a local fast food restaurant, we grabbed some burgers and fries for lunch and then got on the road for the long drive to the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.
The drive there was uneventful. We made it to the school in record time, thanks to my speeding. I tended to do that when I was talking to someone. The faster I talked—the faster I drove. And when the four of us got to joking around, I talked fast, real fast. It was a miracle there weren’t any police around. I would’ve gotten one wicked ticket.
When we got to the school, we all unfolded and fell out of the SUV. We trekked across the campus to the registrar’s office, and I filled out the paperwork to drop my classes. An hour later, I was done and ready to go.
“Let’s look around,” Muriel said.
“Yeah, show us around the campus, Milayna,” Drew agreed.
We walked through the campus. I showed them where my dorm was; I had some things I needed to pick up anyway. I showed them where all my classes were and some other buildings. But I hadn’t been on campus long enough to really know too much about it so my tour guide skills were limited. Mostly we just walked through the grounds, admiring the old buildings’ architecture.
“I can’t believe you don’t want to go to school here. It’s so beautiful,” Muriel said, looking up at one of the ornate buildings.
“Who said I didn’t want to go to school here?”
“Well, you dropped all your classes.”
“Yeah, because I have four demon brothers and Azazel trying to kill my little brother and me. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to go to school here. I plan on coming back. I liked it here. The downtown area is full of museums and art galleries. It’s just how I always pictured a college town to be—lots of culture.”
Xavier stretched and patted his tight abdomen. “Is there anywhere good to eat?” he asked. “I’m starving.”
Muriel nudged my shoulder, waggling her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes. “Really?” I whispered, exasperated by her never-ending matchmaking attempts.
Her eyes wide, she nodded and mouthed, “Oh, yes.”
Shaking my head at my best friend, I answered Xavier. “I know this great little bistro.”
“Let’s go.”
We ate a quick dinner, and got on the road to go home. That was when the day turned from fun road trip to confrontation with a demon. Go figure.
I felt like I’d been shanked. The blade ripped through my stomach, and pain ricocheted through my body. I bent forward, one arm around my middle and the other still holding the steering wheel. Just as the pain eased, I was stabbed again. This time, it felt as though the knife was jammed into me and then turned like a key in a lock. Pain seared through me. I sucked in a breath through my teeth.
“Milayna? Are you okay?” Xavier touched my arm lightly. I flinched. Even his soft touch hurt; it felt like heavy grit sandpaper scraping against my bare skin.
I shook my head. Flipping on the turn signal, I eased the SUV onto the shoulder of the expressway. “You drive,” I told him through clenched teeth. My stomach was tying itself in knots. The pain had moved from stabbing to constant. I could barely scoot over from the driver’s seat to the passenger’s.
“You’re going to have a vision now?” Drew didn’t like the visions. Or, rather, he didn’t like seeing others have them. His visions hadn’t started yet.
“Either that or she ate bad meat at the restaurant,” Muriel answered and sipped on the straw of her drink.
“Ugh, I ate what she had. Either way, this is gonna suck.” Drew moaned and put his head in his hands.
I would have laughed at him if my head hadn’t been pounding so hard. It thumped to the rhythm of my heartbeat; the images around me shook with each beat. I held my head in my hands, my fingers digging through my hair, massaging my scalp.
For a short second, the painful knot in my stomach eased. I took a deep, calming breath. But as fast as it went away, it came back with double the force, and my stomach roiled from the pain. Covering my mouth with one hand, I opened the car door with the other. I barely got my head out before I hurled my dinner.
“Oh, ick,” Drew moaned. He opened his door and lost his lunch on the gravel shoulder next to mine.
Muriel laughed so hard that she snorted. I wasn’t quite sure what there was to laugh about, but she was having fun. Xavier kept asking me if I was okay. I kept saying I was, but he kept asking over and over. It was annoying. All I wanted was for the vision to come so we could get back on the road. All of a sudden, I just wanted to go home—even if it wasn’t my house.
Finally, the images started to swirl in front of my eyes. At first, they were too blurry to make out. I couldn’t see anything except colors as they twirled by, around and around like I was on a merry-go-round. Little by little, the colors morphed into jumbled pictures.
Cars moving. A bridge. A bent green mile marker that reads 122.
“Where are we?”
“We’re on Interstate—”
“No.” I waved Xavier’s words away with a jerk of my hand. “What was the last mile marker we passed?”
“I’m not sure.” Xavier looked out the window.
“Drive until you see one and stop.”
I felt him put the SUV in gear and slowly maneuver into traffic. My head was pounding at a level I’d never felt before. The pain was nearly unbearable. It felt like something was in my head, chiseling at the bone with an icepick. I was so dizzy I was certain the earth was spinning faster on its axis.
The SUV slowed and pulled over on the shoulder. “Milayna? We’re at mile marker 120.”
“‘Kay.”
Cars. The bent mile marker that reads 122. A hole.
My head pounded faster. My stomach clenched tighter—the stabbing sensation was so fast it was hard to pick out the individual pains. It felt like one constant stab of the knife, turning in my flesh. The vision was telling me something, but I didn’t understand. I leaned forward and laid my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs. I tried to block out the pain and focus on the unfolding vision.
“Milayna? Do you want us to do something?” Xavier laid his hand on my back.
I flinched.
“Don’t!” Muriel grabbed his hand. “Don’t touch her when she’s having a vision. It hurts her. If she wants you, she’ll reach out to you.”
Broken pavement. Cars. Mile marker 122. Screaming. Falling.
I jerked backward and grabbed the seat. It felt like the car was falling. It was like falling in a dream and jerking awake just before you hit bottom, but I couldn’t jerk awake because I wasn’t dreaming. The sensation of falling seemed to last for minutes, but it was more likely just a few seconds and then… the car hit. It threw me backward against the seat, and then I bounced forward toward the dashboard. Had it not been for Xavier’s quick reflexes, I would have hit the dashboard full on.
In my vision, I’d just lived through what was going to happen if I didn’t stop the… what? I still didn’t know.
“What do you see, Milayna?” Muriel asked.
“Cars. Mile marker 122. A big hole in the pavement.”
“A sinkhole?”
I glanced at Xavier and nodded. “It could be that.”
Xavier looked at Drew in the rearview mirror. “Call 911 and tell them to close the on-ramps because of a possible sinkhole near mile marker 122.”
Drew called the police and reported the sinkhole.
“Did the vision go away?” Muriel asked.
“No. Something’s wrong.” I shook my head to clear it. The icepick was still digging into my skull and it made it hard to concentrate. But if the vision was still playing out, it meant we hadn’t found the source of the problem.
Xavier floored the engine and took off in the direction of mile marker 122.
“There it is.” I pointed at the bridge I saw in my vision. A knife sank into my side, and I stifled a scream. I squeezed my side with one hand and massaged my pounding head with the other.
Broken windows… mangled steel… smashed cars. I look down. Not a knife. A piece of metal protrudes from my side. Blood. Lots of blood. Screaming. I smell… sulfur. Rotting flesh… charred meat. Hell.
“You didn’t say anything about a bridge,” Drew said.
“I saw one. It’s just before it.” I nodded toward the window. “See? There’s the mile marker. This is definitely the place,” I gasp around the pain.
“What do we do now?” Muriel asked quietly.
“Xavier, turn the SUV sideways and start driving back and forth in front of the cars to make them back up. The farther back they get from the mile marker, the better.” My breathing was labored and my voice barely a whisper.
“And if some don’t move?”
“I don’t know.” I met his gaze. “We tried. That’s all we can do.”
Xavier turned on the shoulder and drove across the lanes of the highway, earning a lot of honks and quite a few fingers along the way. When he reached the median, he’d back up until he reached the other side. Then he’d throw it in drive and start again. It worked. Some cars started backing up, away from the lunatic driver. Others held their ground. Too bad they wouldn’t be able to hold it much longer. I could already hear the pavement cracking. Xavier had time for one, maybe two passes. That was it. Whoever was left had to fend for themselves.
A large crack sounded, and I looked at Xavier. It was time to get out of there. He threw the SUV in reverse and flew across the highway until he reached the shoulder. Swinging around, going toward traffic, he drove on the shoulder away from the impending sinkhole.
“How’s the vision?” Xavier asked, looking over at me.
“It’s still there, but not as bad.” The pain in my head had lessened. The sharp icepick had been replaced with a rubber mallet, and the piece of scrap metal in my side had disappeared.
His eyes darted in front of him for a second before his gaze fell back on me. “I thought when the situation was corrected, the vision would go away?”
“It will.”
“Well? How come it hasn’t?” Drew leaned forward, sticking his head in the space between the two front seats.
“People are still going to die. I didn’t fulfill everything I was supposed to. And Jord is still out there somewhere. Until he’s caught and killed, along with the other three Brothers, I don’t think my visions will go away completely.”
“So… you… you’ll see those people—”
“Die?” I interrupted Drew. “No. I don’t see it. I just kinda know. It sounds awful, but I’ve gotten used to it.”
I don’t see it—I feel it. Too much. Stuff I don’t want to feel. And I’m lying. I haven’t gotten used to it. I won’t ever get used to it.
“That’s not horrible, Milayna. That’s just your coping mechanism kicking in. You have to have one or you’d go insane from the things you’ve seen and gone through in the last year,” Xavier said softly.
“Who said I haven’t gone insane already?” I said with a chuckle.
“That’s true, Xavier. Some of us are taking bets on when her first nervous breakdown will be. Want to wager?” Muriel chewed on the end of the straw in her Coke and grinned.
“No!” He sounded indignant.
“Don’t worry; she’s only joking,” I said and rolled my eyes at Muriel. Xavier was an angel. He’d only lived on earth a few months. He hadn’t gotten used to how humans joked and teased yet, which made him the perfect person to play tricks on. It could be hilarious.
I jumped when a sharp stab bit into the side of my neck. Warmth spread across my skin. I felt my neck, but I knew nothing was there. Just a sensation of the vision. Another pain radiated up my leg. My leg vibrated with it. The warmth in my neck disappeared, leaving it cold. The person was gone.
I jerked and felt myself hit the dash. My forehead exploded in pain, and I saw tiny dots of bright lights. Then nothing.
Something slammed into my chest. Hard. It knocked the breath from my lungs. I reached up, rubbed it, and felt the object embedded there. Funny—I didn’t feel any pain in this person’s vision. Just the stream of warm, thick blood. And then cold. I knew they were gone.
I bit the inside of my cheek so I didn’t break down and cry. The sensations bombarding me were too much. It was overwhelming knowing—feeling—the deaths of the people lost in the sinkhole. I was the strongest demi-angel in the group because my dad was the highest-ranking angel. So my visions were the strongest. The others didn’t feel what I felt. And they didn’t need to know everything I felt—everything I saw. I didn’t want them to.
They didn’t need to know I felt death.