Although Juliette and Renée used to be absolute best friends, the nucleus of the group in some ways, things had never been the same since Renée slept with Juliette’s boyfriend in America – none of them had ever quite managed to move on from it, even though Stephen had sworn to Juliette that it had only happened the once, and besides he and Renée had both been paralytic. Juliette had always known that Renée adored male attention, as if it proved how attractive she was, made her a better person somehow, but she couldn’t believe that she’d targeted Stephen. Even now, over twenty years later, Juliette couldn’t bear the thought of the two of them together, of where Stephen’s lips and hands and, well, everything else had been, it was quite revolting, and she’d very nearly not taken him back – she didn’t care that she and Stephen had been on a break at the time, there are some lines you just don’t cross. But perhaps it was for the best that it had happened, Juliette had secretly thought, maybe it was a sign that she should make a fresh start. Stephen had had to get super-inventive to make her come round, and of course he had blamed it all on Renée, describing how she had flung herself at him, and, frankly, in Juliette’s opinion and from the little Sissy had said about it, it was probably true.
Juliette didn’t know what had happened to Renée. Since America she seemed to have changed so much, lost her self-respect, become almost promiscuous if the truth be told – maybe, Juliette thought sadly, it was some weird response to having been raped by that man she’d been trying to sell encyclopaedias to. It must have been so dreadful, and she couldn’t understand why Renée had never gone to the police, but Renée just seemed to be so ashamed of what had happened, as if it was all her fault, which was ridiculous. It had taken her weeks to even confess to Sissy apparently, and by then, Renée had argued, there was no evidence, only the man’s word against hers. She’d rather just get back to England and forget about it, she’d said, and Sissy hadn’t known how to persuade her otherwise.
Juliette sighed as she looked down at her drink, and then across at the men tying up the last of the boats on The Serpentine. She still missed Renée, really missed her, even after all these years – they’d been so close once, like sisters even, and somehow them being here tonight in each other’s company, sat together on a patchwork of rugs, not quite touching, unsure how to reach each other again, just made Juliette more lonely than ever. Perhaps if she hadn’t got back with Stephen she and Renée would never have drifted apart, and she wondered whether she might even be happier now, with a proper best friend rather than a husband she’d never loved, not really, not like she should do, she could see that now. Not that she and Renée had actually ever discussed any of it of course, it was all so unspoken it was horrible.
Renée seemed to sense Juliette’s thoughts, and she turned a little and looked, and Juliette appeared so terribly sad, bereft even, it caused Renée a tiny jolt of anguish, and so she turned back to Sissy and complimented her on her pasta salad, on how it tasted so much better than it looked.
‘You cheeky mare,’ said Sissy, and it was nice to see Sissy smiling again, she seemed to have lost all capacity for fun since Nigel had died – and suddenly Juliette was smiling too, and it felt almost like old times for a second, and Renée wondered whether they could ever be real friends again. She was sure in that moment that everyone did still need each other in a way. Perhaps their friendships were worth fighting for after all. Maybe all they had to do was try harder.