Elijah Carlson was excited. His daddy had just said they could go on the boats after all – he had definitely clocked that if he nagged his parents for long enough one or other of them usually caved in in the end. And his mummy had already promised him an ice cream, so there was that to look forward to too – he wasn’t going to let them forget about that, no way José.
Elijah’s excitement didn’t last long however, once his brief sense of triumph had dimmed. As they stood waiting for their boat, he thought the water looked brown and dirty on closer inspection, and actually rather scary; and then when the little boat turned up it was all old and decrepit and there was water in the bottom of it, like it was leaking; and when his dad got in it rocked wildly, and as he was a large man they wouldn’t all fit in anyway – and so Elijah decided that maybe he didn’t like the look of rowing, after all.
‘Right, in you get, sweetheart,’ said his mother.
‘No,’ said Elijah. Now he’d spotted that his father’s big fat bottom was already wet he definitely didn’t fancy it at all.
‘Come on, Elijah, darling,’ she said. ‘D’you want to hold Mummy’s hand?’
‘No!’ he said.
‘What d’you mean, no?’ said his father. ‘I’ve just bloomin’ well paid for this. Get in.’
‘I don’t want to any more,’ said Elijah, snivelling.
‘Oh come on, angel, it’ll be fun,’ cajoled his mother, as she stood next to him on the bank in her high heels. She tried to push him gently towards the boat.
‘Noooo!’ screamed Elijah, and as she went to take his podgy arm he made such a commotion everyone looked over. Perhaps they should leave it after all, she thought, this was becoming embarrassing.
‘Elijah,’ said his dad, in a low voice, as patiently as he could manage (although it still sounded unmistakably tight, not far off temper-losing pitch). ‘If you get in the boat we’ll take you to get a milkshake after.’
‘As well as an ice cream?’ said Elijah, smelling an opportunity.
‘No, not as well, either or,’ said his father.
‘Then no!’ said Elijah, folding his arms defiantly. Other people were still looking over, with a definite whiff of parental superiority now. Elijah’s mother really couldn’t cope with yet another scene, they were meant to be having a nice Sunday afternoon as a family, and she was sure her son would enjoy it once they’d got going.
‘Oh, OK, Elijah, just this once,’ she said quietly. Her husband threw her a look and shifted crossly in the boat, and as Elijah stepped in jauntily, his fear miraculously dissipated despite the new rocking his father had just created, she caught the tell-tale shape of his tongue poking through his right cheek, and she saw the victory in his eyes.