GERTRUDE BAUM

Trust

I WAS NOT PREPARED for what came after Karen’s visit, but I should have been. Miss Anholt didn’t even tell me first, nor of course ask my judgment or if I would be aware of complications. No, I only heard it from her the next day. Miss Anholt had decided to give her claim to the Writers House to Karen. In a trust, if you please. Something to benefit Karen.

Now of course this was an act of generosity, so I could hardly point out to her that doing this would put Petra for sure in charge of the Writers House. No matter what they say, a “trust”, in the end Petra would control everything. So I had gone from bad to worse. Miss Anholt was bad enough. But you see this is what my mother always said that my big heart would get me. More trouble than I could dream of. What will happen to me now? What will happen to any of us now?

I had only one chip left to play. This had to do with the question Miss Anholt was so eager to know: who betrayed her parents? As I wrote previously, I knew this person. It was all part of the story that I heard many years ago and that others knew as well. But what good would it do me to tell Miss Anholt? Would she suddenly stop giving the Writers House to Karen, would she think, oh no, it is really Mrs. Baum who is more deserving and Mrs. Baum has nowhere to go after twenty-four years? Of course not. I had only myself to blame for this whole pathetic “sister” business that I had no business sticking my nose in in the first place. What could I expect, that Miss Anholt would tell Petra, “The Writers House goes to Karen but you must keep Mrs. Baum on forever, and Mrs. Kirchner and Giessen to boot, or I will be very displeased?” What a joke. Miss Anholt said some such thing, in all events, or anyway she told me this, that she had said to Petra that Mrs. Baum should stay on. But do you imagine Petra will pay attention? Don’t make me laugh until I choke. I would not work for Petra anyway. That would be absurd.

No, I didn’t tell Miss Anholt who betrayed her parents. I saw no reason. As you have seen, it is too easy to cause too much trouble. Nor will I tell any of you. It is a matter of principle. But I am not afraid to give you hints. Why not? A good story wishes to be told. You see, it was not a matter of hating the Jews or kowtowing to the authorities. It was a matter of envy. There was one who was envious of Miss Anholt’s father, for having Ute’s affection, siring her child, giving her money, even for the fact that Ute helped him in the woods. This man was not Ute’s later husband, either, that blockhead Jürg. It was someone else. I will not tell you who. I cannot. But I will give you one further clue. When Miss Anholt came to Velden, he was still alive. There. I’ve said enough. Please do not remind me that I began by saying I would tell you everything. One thing for certain I’ve found is that people do not always mean precisely what they say.