PETRA LUESCHER

Gift

YOU DON’T IMAGINE for a minute that Karen liked her fresh new sister better on account of this so-called “gift” of hers. Why should she? She had no need of it. She was perfectly well taken care of already. She had everything she needed. If she so much as spat, I cleaned up the spit. If she soiled her bed, I washed the sheets.

I am not impressed. I don’t give a good goddamn. That woman can have all the money in the world and do whatever she wants with it and it would make no difference to me. Comes in here, acts like a big shot. Well of course. What a lot of garbage. Lording it over an imbecile, is that something a grown woman should be proud of? Of course Karen doesn’t love her. Do you know who she loves? That idiot on television. The one I’m constantly spending postage so that she can collect more stupid photographs of him. That’s what we’re dealing with, that’s what I’m up against. I’ve raised her my whole life. But who cares what I think anyway? The sister who has nothing. Well I’ll tell you something, I don’t have to have anything to know what’s right. There are ways for people to behave, maybe they don’t teach that in California but over here we’re not impressed, even Karen. You know what she said to me? “Do I have to go see my sister again?” And not only that. “Is she really my sister?” She doesn’t even believe this fairy tale. Ute was no virgin, you know. My mother danced around, to put it politely. Who knows? I’m not saying no, I’m simply saying we don’t know who the father was for sure. What if Ute was only telling this Anholt things in order to get his money? That would be a good one, wouldn’t it? Her moron daughter finally gets it. And Petra, what does Petra get, Petra whose own father was quick enough out the door, oh Petra can do the wash and shut up. Well not this time. Believe me. This time I’m getting something. It’s only right. My whole life. My whole life, and what thanks have I got? Petra, turn the TV on. Petra, I can’t hear the sound now. Petra this, Petra that, one thing after the other.

I’ll say something else. I don’t care if you like it or not. Karen wouldn’t even step foot in that house. She’s happy where she is. Who do these people think we are? We were getting along perfectly fine without them. I had to drag her even once. “Oh come on, Karen, let’s go see, your very kind sister has invited us to her beautiful house on the lake with many rooms and wonderful things!”

“I hate my sister,” she said. Those were her very words. “I hate my sister.”

“That’s not right,” I said to her. “To hate your sister. Why? Don’t do such a thing.”

“Because you’re my sister,” she said.

“But you can have more than one, you know.”

“I don’t want more than one.”

There. So no one can accuse me of poisoning anyone’s mind. I didn’t poison Karen’s mind. This was her opinion from the start. I was perfectly suitable. Those were my exact words. “That’s not right, to hate your sister.”

It did no good. Even after the sister gave us everything, Karen still didn’t wish to see her anymore. People say she’s an imbecile, Karen, but certain things she can certainly see.

Nor will I tell you my exact plans for the place. If I sell it, I sell it, it’s none of your goddamn business. If I want to go to Phuket, that’s none of your business either. Are you going to accuse me of taking a vacation? I’ll take any vacation I want to. No one can tell me I don’t deserve a vacation. That’s the problem. Everybody has an opinion. Everybody butts into other people’s business. No one knows what really went on. No one knows how I’ve spent my life.

Karen is a sweet girl. She just wants to be left alone with her television. She thinks one day the idiot on the television, Hunter, his name is Hunter and he is also from California, is going to find her and marry her. Then her life will be complete.

People have many ideas why all this happened. I am referring to the so-called “gift.” One is that this woman had so much money she didn’t know what else to do with it, it all meant nothing to her, it was like crumbs off her plate. Another is that people are always saying how we must be guilty about the Jews but I don’t even know a Jew and this was the opposite exactly, the Jew felt guilty for coming in here and disturbing our lives the way she did. Another is that she was as big an imbecile as Karen. Another is that she was deeply touched and all of that, she loved her sister, all of that, she was so happy to find a sister, all of that. This last explanation I don’t believe one bit. Who was she trying to kid?