A few days later, Kai came round for dinner. Mum made so much pasta you’d think we were feeding the entire street. I told her he liked to eat. He was a growing boy and liked his food. Maybe he’d told her about his plans to do a forty-hour famine that I didn’t know about, so maybe she wanted to stuff him full to bursting. Either way, I could tell she was happy there was another mouth to feed.
The doorbell rang.
Before I answered it, I quickly re-briefed Mum on how to act a little more nonchalant. Although she’s easy to talk to and understanding, for some reason when guests are around she likes to morph into this over-doting parent. I also told her not to share my embarrassing stories. Especially about the one with me face planting the mud that wasn’t exactly mud, when we went horse riding a few years ago.
I opened the door. Winter was still strong. The cold air clutched around my legs. I made Kai quickly step inside so I could shut the door and remain in warmth.
“Hi.”
Kai kissed my cheek then unwrapped his scarf. “Hello Peyton.”
I bit my lip. My stomach fluttered. Was I nervous?
“Is everything OK?”
I took a deep breath and nodded my head. “Yeah. Yep. Good. All good.”
I was nervous. I turned away from his kind stare and the oddly cute way he held onto his scarf, and made my way to the kitchen. He followed me. I could feel him.
“Hello Emma. Something smells amazing.”
“Hey Kai. Lovely to see you again.” Mum walked straight up to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. I half expected her to spill an embarrassing story about me, like the time I walked into glass doors (they didn’t sense my presence so they didn’t open). I don’t think I could ever forget the sound of Mum’s cackling – after she’d checked that I was OK. I knew she was always going to say what she wanted, but I thought I’d give it my best shot to limit her story times.
“Come and sit down. Dinner will be ready soon.” She pulled out a chair at the dining table and Kai sat down.
His hair was tied in a bun. Pulled completely from his face, it highlighted his handsome features – including his beautiful eyes. I never usually liked guys with long hair, I thought they always looked better with shorter hair. But I liked it on him. He pulled it off without even trying. He took off his grey waist-length coat and placed it on the back of his chair. He wore a navy blue knitted jumper with a wide collar that had two large brown buttons near the neck, and his usual black jeans. I expected to see his much-loved boots, but that night he wore pointed dress shoes. Yet another entire look and style that he pulled off perfectly. He was beginning to make me feel like the casual jeans and jumpers and other baggy clothes I wore weren’t enough.
Mum checked the saucepans filled with food, gave each one a quick stir then joined us at the table. “So, Kai, how’ve you been? Has it been busy at the coffee shop?”
“I’ve been good … Living life. Forcing myself to enjoy this winter.” He looked at me and smiled.
Did he remember winter was my favourite season?
“Work’s been good. Nothing too exciting … Although the other day this woman found a random coin from Canada in her bag and took it as a sign that her ex-lover wants her back. The lover’s Canadian. She told me she was going to book a flight and leave in the next couple of days. She could be on her way right now. It’s a shame we’ll probably never know how that turns out.”
I smiled. Using his imagination and elaborating on the simplest of things until he could do it no more, was the way Kai saw the world. He seemed to always see the best in people.
“Now that is a shame,” Mum said. “We’re just going to have to predict what happened in the end. Did she book a flight? Did she get on the plane?”
“Did her ex want to see her?” Kai said.
“Does the ex she told you about even exist?” I said.
“If they did meet, has her ex moved on already?” Mum said.
“Is the love they once shared strong enough for a second try?” Kai said.
“Oh, good one.” Mum said.
I smirked at the two of them. They were both enjoying themselves. I leant back and listened. I was never that good at making up stories from the top of my head anyway.
“I think we should go with she booked the flight and met her lover. They were both filled with emotion because of their break-up and the sweet memories of their past relationship, and the fact she flew thousands of miles for the speck of a chance that they could be together again, that they started dating again,” Kai said.
“Yeah … They took a chance. Things weren’t perfect. They had their rough patches. But they stayed together.” Mum smiled. “I like a happy end.”
My heart struck with a little pain. I felt bad that my mum didn’t have the happily ever after she wanted. The happily ever after she deserved.
“So Kai, what are your intentions with dating my daughter?”
Kai smiled. I knew he knew my mum asked through a jokey tone, but he answered honestly. “Certain aspects of our future relationship are unclear, as they should be I think. But my intentions are to treat her the best I can. I want her to fall in love with me, head over heels, and be so captivated and consumed by me and our love, that in her mind, nobody else is good enough apart from me. I intend to do this in the healthiest way possible.”
Mum looked impressed and slightly shocked. But I couldn’t read the other expression on her face. “And how are you going to feel about her?” Her tone was different now. Serious.
Kai answered like he had prepared for it his whole life. “As I think you already know, Emma, I’m intrigued by your daughter. Everything about her I want to know. I want to understand. I’m falling in love with her, but I don’t think she knows that. Maybe she will now that I’ve said it out loud. I’m already captivated by what we share and how much I feel for her. And I’m waiting patiently for the love, she might in time, give me. I already know no one else will match, compare or reach her standards, or perfection if you will. Together I want us to just, be.”
“Wow … He’s a keeper.” Mum removed herself from the table and checked on the food.
Kai and I remained seated. I didn’t know what I should have said back to him. He was so brave about the way he felt about me and the way he wanted me to feel about him, the way he saw our relationship growing. I’d never even really thought about it. A part of me wanted to leap from my chair and kiss him passionately. Tell him I wanted all of that too. Tell him that being with him made me happy. Made me feel hope. Made me feel stronger. The other part of me wanted to run and hide, because now I was even more afraid that I wouldn’t be enough.
The doorbell rang.
“Who’s that? Are we expecting something?”
“Can you get that P, while I finish dishing dinner out?”
When I answered the door, I felt lighter.
“Liam!”
“What’s going on, P?”
“What are you …” I couldn’t believe he was there. “What are you doing here?”
Liam stepped inside and closed the door. I wrapped my arms around him. His clothes were cold. We squeezed each other tight. He lifted me off the floor. His arms locked around my core and I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t care. As he placed me back on the ground, I felt my ear-to-ear smile.
“Mum and I planned a surprise dinner for you tomorrow night. Then she told me that your boyfriend was coming tonight. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet him, so I came down a night earlier. Where is the lucky lad?”
Liam was a confident person. A “party starter” Mum liked to call him. He marched straight up to Kai and stuck out his hand. “Hey. I’m Liam, Peyton’s brother.”
Kai stood and shook Liam’s hand. “I’m Kai. She’s told me a bit about you. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
I saw Liam inspecting him. He made it obvious enough.
“So you’re the coffee-shop kid?” Liam said.
“Is that the title I’ve been given?” Kai looked to Mum and me.
“In earlier conversations,” Mum said. “But you’re more than that now.” She smiled warmly.
The four of us spent hours chatting. Kai seemed to fit in just right, as if there was a perfect space for him to squeeze into. He happily and quite easily followed our banter and wasn’t shy to chime in with his own remarks. I was given the nod of approval from Liam when Kai wasn’t looking, and I already knew Mum liked him.
Later that night, when Kai was going home, he left me with a kiss on my cheek then kissed my knuckles like he had at the end of our third date.
A sparkling force lingered around the house. I scanned the room and could see how it all connected. The glow from the moon thrust though the window, grazing the glass on the photo frames and sending a thin line of light to the lamps. The bulbs’ brightness spread across the room like the early-morning sunrise, making Mum’s earrings sparkle almost as much as her eyes. Her laughter glimmered to Liam. Seeing them smile warmed my insides. That moment was a light I wanted to soak in. Bask in.
I was glad Liam had come, and for once I was even happy that he and Mum had kept it a surprise. Having the three of us under one roof felt right. It reminded me of the many morning moments we used to share before we went our separate ways for the day.
Liam and I helped Mum with the dishes. After a little while we went to bed. I rested under my warm blankets. I smiled and breathed the deepest breath I’d breathed since returning home from hospital. I took a moment and relished the blissful light.