The 6-month mark is the point at which many parents begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Routines have been established, work arrangements have been made, and the baby has become more and more responsive, which can make parenting feel much more rewarding. As life returns to something like normal, you may find that you now have enough breathing room to think about long-term issues such as your own physical health and establishing financial stability.
Health and fitness: getting your body back
Early postpartum paunch is pregnancy-related. But after the 6-month mark, whatever extra weight remains is yours to keep—and you probably will have permanently wider hips, a softer belly, and bigger feet. Plus, remember you’re a year older than you were pre-pregnancy and time slows down everyone’s metabolism. (Now you know why those moms in the 1950s wore girdles.) Here are some pointers for starting an exercise program at 6 months postpartum (or beyond), or kicking your existing program up a notch.
Fitness rules for the second six months:
• Work on your abs. Make working your abdominal muscles a priority. They’re the core of your strength and stability. Try practicing yoga or Pilates to build core muscle strength postpartum. When you first attempt leg lifts or crunches, you may be shocked by how much weaker your abdominal muscles are, because your pregnancy has pushed them out and apart (called diastasis recti). If this has happened to you, you’ll notice a ridge running down the middle of your abdominals. You will have to make an extra effort to rebuild your abdominal strength, even if you were in great shape before your baby and you worked out every day of your pregnancy.
• Cut calories. While trying to count points or measure servings is just too much to deal with in the first few months after birth, the truth is that you won’t lose weight unless you also control your calorie intake—if you exercise, your appetite will just increase to keep up. However, wait until you have breastfeeding well-established and your body is healed before you even attempt to cut calories to weight-loss levels (always get at least 1,800 calories a day if you’re breastfeeding). Depending on how much you weighed pre-pregnancy and how much you gained, a loss of between ½ to 2 pounds a week is healthy. If you go back to your pre-pregnancy calorie intake and physical activity levels, your weight gradually will return to normal, or something like it, though a year after giving birth, a woman weighs on average 1 to 3 pounds more than her pre-baby weight. That sounds significant until you note that the average American woman gains a pound a year, anyway. The cause isn’t pregnancy, but decreased physical activity and age.
• Don’t count on breastfeeding for long-term weight loss. While breastfeeding does burn a lot of calories, it also makes you hungry. Trying to cut calories while breastfeeding is like trying to cut down on breathing. And long-term studies show no difference in weight between breastfeeding and bottle-feeding moms. When you’re breastfeeding you need to get 1,800 to 2,200 calories a day, depending on your size and activity level. You may notice that that’s not very many: Experts used to recommend that nursing moms get an extra 500 calories a day. However, recent research indicates that breastfeeding moms don’t need a big calorie boost unless they’re underweight. While you’re breastfeeding, you can basically just eat the way you did when you were pregnant, an extra 200 to 300 calories a day. The main difference in your pregnancy and breastfeeding diets is that postpregnancy you can have wine with dinner.
FLASH FACT: American Woman
The average American woman is 5 feet 4 inches, weighs 140 pounds, and wears a size 14 dress.
Tip
It’s a myth that you need to drink a lot of water while you’re breastfeeding. You only need to drink when you’re thirsty, and it doesn’t just have to be water: juice, milk, soup, tea, and even fruits and vegetables can provide hydration. The issue is finding a way to always have hydration on hand while you have a baby in the other. Big, spill-proof plastic mugs full of ice water can be good to have around.
• Don’t join the gym (necessarily). Don’t freak out and join an expensive gym. Consistency is what counts with fitness. If you can afford it and you can find a gym that offers infant care (and hot showers and fresh towels), a gym membership can be a great thing to have. But while pumping iron in a shiny new health club can give you a burst of enthusiasm, machines and treadmills can quickly become boring (and can also make you start to feel like a hamster on a wheel). Adding activity to part of your everyday lifestyle, like doing your errands on foot instead of driving, or taking a family walk every evening after dinner, may be a better long-term strategy for fitness and weight control. Or, do both! If you do join a gym, look for one that offers child care, a variety of classes, and activities so you don’t get stuck in a rut. YMCAs or YWCAs can be great, because some also offer parenting support groups.
Unfortunately, many parents don’t sit down to do the math and figure out how having a baby is going to affect their budgets. Current government estimates are that it costs a family about $170,000 to raise a child to the age of 18. But there’s no need to panic. Most of that money is averaged out over the process of nearly two decades.
Life insurance
Although it’s hard to think ahead about how your baby will be taken care of should something happen to you or your partner, an insurance policy can help to support your child if either of you dies until he is old enough to support himself. And one harsh reality is that accidents are the leading cause of death for adults age 44 and younger.
Your child will need financial support if you’re not there. You don’t need to take out life insurance on your baby, but you should consider purchasing life-insurance policies to cover the breadwinners in your family. The policy is basically designed to replace lost income should you die and leave your baby behind.
Buying a life-insurance policy can be a daunting task. There are countless options to choose from, and policy types and legal fine print that you’ll have to wade through to make a good decision. You’ll need to choose the level of coverage you feel you can afford, and decide to whom the payment should go.
Estimated Baby Costs
• At-home delivery. Having your baby at home, including prenatal and postnatal care: $2,800.
• Birthing center delivery. Using a midwife, including prenatal and postnatal care: $3,200.
• Obstetrician delivery in a hospital. Having an obstetrician deliver your baby in a traditional medical center: $7,300.
• Having a c-section. Add an extra $2,000 to a hospital delivery.
• A high-risk baby, labor complications, or a premature baby. Could cost hundreds of thousands more, depending upon the circumstances and medical interventions required.
• Baby furniture, clothes, gear, and disposable diapers. Add $9,000 to $11,000 or more.
• Baby formula. Bottle feeding, rather than breastfeeding. $2,000 a year.
• Baby care for working mothers. Between $5,000 and $36,000 a year or more, depending upon the person and/or setting.
Roughly, the amount of coverage you need to carry should equal between five and ten times your annual income. So if you’re earning $30,000 a year, you’ll want a policy worth $150,000 to $300,000. There are other projected expenses that you may also want to factor in, such as how many children you have, your debts, the payments on your home, and your plans for your children’s college education.
Term life insurance is the best buy for new parents. It provides the largest death benefit and will only pay off if the insured person dies while the policy is in effect. Your policy can be for 10, 15, or 20 years, or until you reach a specified age. The younger and healthier you are, the less you’ll have to pay. Choose a policy that guarantees your premiums won’t increase for its duration.
When you’re insurance shopping, beware of agents who try to convince you to steer away from term insurance for other, more costly packages, called cash-value policies—for example, “whole,” “permanent,” “variable,” or “universal” life-insurance policies. While these types of policies offer the agent a larger commission, you may be shown overblown examples of how much cash you’ll be eligible to receive later based on an unrealistically high rate of return. Plus, the premiums for these policies are often so high that as many as one in five consumers drop them within the first two years.
Even though you may be struggling financially, by shopping around, you may be able to find a term policy that you can afford. The cost of insurance varies according to your age, state, and profession, but in some parts of the United States, a healthy, 30-year-old, nonsmoking man or woman may be able to purchase a $250,000, 10-year term policy for less than under $200 a year.
One way to shop for insurance policies is using Internet sites that offer objective comparisons of policy costs and benefits. Avoid sites that try to induce you into buying a specific product. Some companies don’t pay agents’ commissions, so you may be given a more objective statement of options. Don’t be surprised if you’re asked to supply your birth date, zip code, and to supply basic health information when you ask to compare rates.
Before settling on a policy from a company, be sure to research the company’s rating. You don’t want the company to go under while your policy is in effect. The two largest companies that rate the insurance industry are Standard & Poor’s (www.standardandpoors.com/ratings), and Moody’s (www.moodys.com/insurance). Both grade insurers according to their financial health and stability, but make sure you know the meaning of the letter ratings (A, B, C) assigned to companies, since rating codes are not the same for all rating companies.
Then, read the fine print on policies you’re considering. Seek out the advice of a certified financial planner or certified public accountant if you get confused by all of the “insurance-ese.” These professionals won’t have a vested interest in one particular insurance product as an insurance agent would, and they can help you realistically compare your options.
Some employers offer group life insurance plans for their employees, such as those equal to one year’s salary. One advantage of your employer’s group plan is that if you smoke or have a medical problem, you may not have to take a medical exam to join the group plan.
The downside is that your employer’s policy on your behalf will probably end if you leave the job. Check with your benefits manager about your personal premium costs should the company no longer employ you and you have to take over the premium payments yourself. If you’re young, a non-smoker, and healthy, it may make sense to shop around for insurance policies and have a backup policy on your own.
Saving for your child’s education
Although it may seem too early to think about saving for your child’s college education during this first year of your baby’s life, rising education costs make advanced planning a necessity. In fact, your child’s college education will be one of the most expensive investments you may ever make. By the time your baby finishes high school, four years of college education at a public university are likely to cost more than $200,000, and it will double that for attending private colleges. But, by saving, say, $50 a week, it is possible to have more than $80,000 stashed away by the time your child reaches college age.
There are numerous plans that allow you to put money away for your baby’s education later. Traditionally, parents have used savings accounts, taxable investment accounts, annuities, and U.S. Savings Bonds to build college money for their kids. These savings options are now being joined by new investment opportunities, such as federal Section 529 college-savings programs and Coverdell Education Savings Accounts that allow your earnings to grow without your having to pay taxes on them, and they may be tax-free as long as you use them for your child’s post–high school education. Some savings plans administered by outside companies may be more stable than others, depending upon the financial health of mutual funds and the stock market. Here is a list of some post-secondary education savings options to explore:
• Qualified Tuition Program (529 plan). This plan allows you to save money for tuition while postponing having to pay taxes on the funds you are accumulating until you withdraw them, and the savings may be tax-free when you use them to pay for your child’s post–high school education costs.
• Coverdell Education Savings Account. Your earnings from this account are tax deferred while it’s growing and tax-free when you use it for your child’s post–high school education costs. And, in some cases, you can also use the money, tax-free, for primary and secondary school expenses.
• U.S. Savings Bonds. Certain bonds will build earnings and can be redeemed tax-free when you, your spouse, or your child pays for college expenses and fees if you fall under certain income guidelines.
• Individual Retirement Account (IRA). Early withdrawal penalties may be waived when Roth IRAs and traditional IRAs are used to pay qualified post–high school education costs for you, your spouse, your children, and even your grandchildren, but you may still have to pay taxes on your withdrawals.
By the time your child is ready to attend college, there are likely to be a variety of tax credits, scholarships, and student loans available that can help pay for schooling. And, your employer, or your child’s, may help to underwrite the costs of higher education.
As you think ahead about paying for your child’s education, you also need to factor in your own retirement costs, since, at least for now, there are no grants, scholarships, or federally funded loans to support you when you no longer work. It may be wise to take full advantage of special retirement accounts such as 401(k), IRA, and 403(b) tax-sheltered annuities, especially if you’re employed and your employer will match your contributions.
In fact, planning for your own retirement and your child’s future education should be part of the same financial plan. It’s important to use the services of a certified financial planner or certified public accountant to help you in structuring the best way to do this. You may even be able to tap into some of your retirement savings plans tax-free as a secondary source for funding your child’s education if you need to, but it will take the help of a professional to figure out exactly how to do that.
Creating a will
The thought of writing a will can be off-putting because no one wants to dwell on death or leaving a baby behind, but the process doesn’t have to be morbid. Basically, a will is a legal document that enables you to control what happens to your property and to your child should you die. If you die without a will (intestate), half of the property in your name will go to your spouse, and the other half to your baby.
Unfortunately, if both of you die without a will, the courts will be left to decide who gets your house, your property, and other assets after your debts have been paid. A judge may not decide the way you’d like. Usually, judges will award custody of your child to your nearest relatives, and that can conceivably lead to costly, drawn-out battles between sets of grandparents. Both you and your spouse will need to have separate wills drawn up, even if most of your property is in one person’s name. Doing that will allow you to name your spouse as the person who will benefit from your property should you die first, and you can decide where your property should go if your spouse dies before you do. If you wrote a will before you became a parent, you may need to change it now to reflect your new addition. It’s better to write a new will than to try to revise an existing one.
Tip
Store your life-insurance policy, your will, and living will or other directives in a safe but easy-to-access place, and let your partner and parents know where these important documents are. Possible storage places: in a moisture-proof envelope in a filing cabinet; in a desk drawer at home; in a home safe; or in a rented safe-deposit box at a bank.
You can hire an attorney to help you draw up your will, or you may want to start the process yourself by downloading a simple will kit from the Internet or by purchasing software that offers you a boilerplate will.
All wills start with a list of assets, which includes the value of your car, home, savings accounts, stocks, bonds, and life insurance policies. Then comes the listing of liabilities: everything you owe, including the mortgage on your home, student and other loans, and your credit card balances.
One of the things you will need to decide is who will administer your estate after you die (the executor). That person will handle the paying of your debts and the distribution of your property. He or she can also be named as the guardian for your child should both you and your partner die.
You can choose to have your executor and the guardian for your baby be one and the same person, or you may decide that one person would be better at handling the legal and financial issues of your estate while another would be the more responsible and a more emotionally suitable person to care for your baby.
Most people choose to leave all of their assets to their spouse or partner, with their children inheriting any remaining assets after that person’s death. Jointly held assets, such as shared houses and bank accounts, will transfer directly to the other owner, as will life-insurance and retirement policies that already have a named beneficiary.
You can also use your will to specify whether you would prefer burial or cremation, or if you would like to be an organ donor. A money-saving option is to create your will yourself using a boilerplate form, and then turn it over to an attorney for finalization to make sure you’ve covered all of your bases. Your attorney may be able to interpret state laws and suggest options for helping to reduce the amount of tax your inheritors will have to pay later. Your will then needs to be signed and notarized.
Choosing your baby’s guardian
Your will can help to designate the person who will serve as a legal guardian and stand-in to take over the care of your baby should you and your partner die. It may be a serious topic to think about right now, but it could make a huge difference in your child’s life later. If you fail to name a guardian, then that job will be turned over to a judge who won’t have known you, doesn’t know your child, and may not be aware of the dynamics of your family. Here are some qualities to consider when deciding on your child’s guardian:
• List your prospects. Make a list of possible candidates and write out the pros and cons for each person. Would your parents or one of your siblings be the best choice? If you don’t have family members who might take over, are there any friends who could step in under such serious circumstances?
• Confirm their values. Ideally, your child’s guardian should share similar values, religious affiliations, educational aspirations, and lifestyles, if those things are important to you. Ask yourself how well these persons have managed with children in the past and, if they’re childless, whether you feel the person is emotionally mature and capable of coping with the responsibility of a child.
• Check their resources. Although babies and children thrive on love, they also take a lot of time and cost a bundle of money. Hopefully, you’ve already taken out a life insurance policy (see in this chapter), but your child’s guardians will also need to have financial resources of their own for rearing your child.
• Assess their health. Remember, you’re looking ahead for the next 18 years. Are your parents, or aunts and uncles, healthy enough to care for a child for that long a period of time? If not, then you may want to think about naming a brother, sister, cousin, or friend.
• Think about the transition. Does the person live nearby, or all the way across the continent? Does the person have other children about the same age or a little older? How difficult will it be for your child to move to them? Can you picture your child adjusting to their home and lifestyle?
Work with your partner to name three or four persons as your top choices for guardians, then plan a formal meeting to talk with them about your concerns for what would happen to your baby if the two of you were to die. Give them time to think it through, then, if they agree, plan to redraft your will and have it notarized to reflect the person’s name and appointment as guardian.
Again, your child’s guardian and the executor of your estate can be one and the same person, or you can choose two different people, perhaps because one is good at money management and has the skills for settling your estate, while another is more of a child-loving person who would make a good substitute parent. Plan to integrate that person into your life on a regular basis through visits and to keep him or her informed through e-mails and letters about your child’s growth and accomplishments over the years.
Trust funds
Many parents with babies and young children set up trusts to direct the management of their assets to the benefit of their children. Trust funds can make sense for a variety of reasons: You may be able to: save your estate from probate costs; lower estate taxes; ensure care and protection for your child, especially if he’s disabled; and leave a child from a prior marriage an inheritance that can’t be tampered with by your current spouse.
Basically, a trust sets up a relationship between three parties: you (the parent, moneymaker, and property-owner), the trustee (the person you designate to manage your property), and the beneficiary (the person who is going to benefit from the value of the property—in this case, your child). A trust specifies who is going to manage the property you put into the trust, and how it is to be used. The distribution of your property to your child can continue until he reaches a certain age, or as long as you wish.
“Money issues get my husband and I riled up every time! We disagree about spending. He takes exception to every little thing I buy for myself or for the baby, but he leased a new SUV and bought a camcorder without even asking me about them!”
An after-death trust comes into effect until after you die, while a living trust is effective while you’re still alive. Some types of property must be placed into a living trust. If the trust is irrevocable, it can’t be changed without the consent of both you and the other persons involved, while a revocable trust allows you to cancel the trust or change its details whenever you choose to without anyone else having to agree to it. For example, if you take out a life insurance policy and you die, the money from the policy is supposed to go to your child, but if you haven’t created a trust, your state may be able to appoint its own guardian to collect and manage your child’s assets, even if you’ve named a guardian for your child.
If you’re concerned about your child having access to all of his funds when he turns 18 and spending them irresponsibly rather than using them to pay for college, you can specify that separate payments be made over a period of time, or that someone else be in charge of deciding whether your child is mature enough to take over control of his own assets.
Handling financial feuds
Most new parents are prepared for the strain of interfering in-laws, but most are surprised at how creating wills, deciding on insurance policies, and worrying about impulse shopping can arouse emotionally heated debates between each other. The costs that new babies bring can strain already-fragile relationships, especially if you have also had to downsize from a dual to a single income.
When a baby arrives, “your money” and “my money” is forced by necessity to become “our money.” And couples can sometimes be shocked at what different attitudes they have and how different they are, especially when it comes to values, goals, and priorities. Couples fight over what the baby really needs; over each other’s spending habits (the overly cautious spender versus the shopaholic); and how money should be allocated (whether to save money for college or spend it on a nanny, for example).
Most people have inherited their overarching work and money attitudes from their own parents, and they will cling to those money values almost as stringently as they will to their religion. And sometimes a person may rebel against his or her parents’ attitudes about money and willfully will insist upon doing just the opposite.
Then again, a person may decide to bend over backward NOT to be like his or her parents—spending money to break out against the strict money controls of childhood, or scrimping and holding onto money in rebellion against parents who were impulsive spenders and always broke.
Either way, money issues are going to constantly rear their ugly heads. Here are some tips worth considering when it comes to new-baby spending:
• Keep a check on attitudes. Many couples adopt a “nothing is too good for our baby” stance, and assume that by buying the most expensive product in a line, such as a premium stroller, they help to fulfill their obligations as “good parents”; or they believe that simply because one product costs more than others, it will be safer or more durable. The truth is that a baby’s needs are very simple: to be held, rocked, nursed, and diapered, and middle-of-the-line products are not only more economical, they often are more durable than items sporting costly (and unneeded) add-ons.
• Control “compensatory spending.” Just as people splurge on comfort foods, it’s also tempting to splurge on big-ticket items such as a new SUV or a bigger house in an attempt to make life feel more balanced and stable when a baby causes it to spin out of control. Wading through the early storms rather than taking drastic measures could save hundreds of thousands of dollars that could be better used to establish a core of economic security.
• Be open about your financial situation. Although the word “budget” carries a negative connotation of deprivation and curtailed enjoyment, having a bead on your spending and honestly assessing your financial situation, then establishing clear goals for spending and saving, can help to allay money anxieties. It can also make you feel more in control of your life and help you to make joint decisions about who gets to spend what.
“I go ballistic every month when I have to sit down and pay the bills. My wife doesn’t understand. She goes out and buys expensive designer clothes for our baby, talks for hours on the cell phone to her mom in Kansas, and basically brings home anything that strikes her fancy. Meanwhile, we’re digging ourselves deeper and deeper into credit card debt.”
• Share your money. Just because one person is bringing home the bacon doesn’t mean only he, or she, runs the show. Even if only one of you is bringing home a paycheck, you both need to accept that every dollar of money is equally shared. One person may feel the right to control the spending; the other may withdraw from financial decisions and feel dispossessed. Neither approach works well. Instead, strive to problem-solve as equals.
• Examine options. Which expenses are draining the coffers? Once you identify them, you’re in a position to consider alternatives. You may be able to save money by linking your savings or money-market accounts to your checking accounts. You could save on car insurance by combining it with your house insurance. CDs (certificates of deposit) or special savings plans may produce more interest income than those offered by standard bank accounts. You may be able to sidestep costly credit-card finance charges by moving your debt to a more competitive credit-card company, or by taking out a lower-interest bank loan or home-equity loan to consolidate your debts. You could save on costly cell-phone fees by switching back to land lines and using prepaid long-distance or Internet calling spelarvnisc. Bundling your Internet services with telephone services and satellite television or bundling your car insurance with your homeowner’s insurance may be less expensive than paying for each of those services separately. You may be able to drive down any tax debt by negotiating with the IRS.
• Pick the proper moment. Don’t try to discuss your financial situation while your baby’s crying, you’re trying to get dinner on the table, you’re exhausted from a stressful day at work, or when you’re in bed. You both need to be focused and calm, so schedule a weekend afternoon or evening when the baby’s napping and you’re both relaxed and well-fed. Pour a cup of coffee or tea and sit beside each other at a clear table to start taking a look at your financial situation. Then limit the amount of time you spend to no more than 30-minute intervals. If either person begins to get anxious or snappy—stop, shut up, look into each other’s eyes, and hold hands until the emotional siege passes.
• Study. Solid financial management is like gardening: You’ve got to devote time to money issues on a regular basis and do the weeding and watering. Questions to ask: What are the best ways we can allocate our resources? What do we need to spend today, and will that allow us to save what we need for tomorrow? Visit noncommercial, consumer-oriented Internet sites that offer practical advice about saving money and budgeting; subscribe to consumer magazines that offer helpful advice about money markets, mutual funds, insurance, and helpful investment strategies; and before purchasing expensive baby items or pricey “educational” toys, take a look at baby product advice books and articles in the library.
• Think ahead. Have your bank automatically save a portion of every paycheck into a savings account for your child’s tuition. A life insurance policy may be important to protect your child should one or both of you die. Planning ahead for college tuition is important, but so is thinking about your retirement after your baby grows up and flies the coop. Weigh as many options as you can about how you’re going to allocate your resources.
“When we listed out all the money we were spending on meals out, personal-care items, clothes and shoes, magazines, cell-phone charges, and entertainment, we discovered we could probably trim nearly $400 off our monthly expenses!”
• Get help. A certified public accountant or a certified financial planner can be invaluable in helping you to create a viable financial plan and to access ways to save money through tax credits, special savings accounts, insurance, and investments. The less money you have, the more important it is to get help with managing it.
25 IDEAS FOR SAVING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
If your baby expenses have you feeling the financial crunch, you can save thousands of dollars in the coming year by following these simple savings suggestions.
1. The little black $$ book. The best way to get know where your money is going is to keep track in a little book or on your PDA for a month, or by using a debit card for all of your purchases. You’ll discover it’s the nickels, dimes, and dollar bills spent on impulse buys that often eat up the budget. Knowing you have to record your purchases will help you get control.
2. Javanomics. Instead of paying for expensive, designer-brand coffee by the cup when you’re out, invest in thick, well-insulated coffee mugs and brew your own at home to take along. And drink water (or milk)! A soda habit can get really expensive, too.
3. Maganomics. Buy annual subscriptions to your favorite magazines instead of paying high prices for single issues; or start a magazine-sharing club with friends or co-workers.
4. Book bonuses. Instead of paying $25 or more for best-selling books, put them on reserve at the library and check them out for free. (While you’re there, take a look at the magazines, CDs, recorded books, and movies on DVD.)
5. Diaper smarts. Buy disposables and wipes in bulk from big warehouse membership clubs like SAM’S CLUB or Cosco (but remember your baby’s going to grow), or invest in well-made reusables that you can use over and over again. Sign up for diaper clubs online to get money-saving offers.
6. The formula for saving. Purchase baby formula by the case from discount clubs to save money and trips to the store. Sign up for online baby clubs sponsored by formula manufacturers (they often give away moneysaving coupons), and clip and use grocery store and drugstore coupons. Ask your pediatrician about substituting generic formulas. Buy powdered formula, which is about 20 percent cheaper than ready-to-drink versions. If your baby needs special, predigested formula, check with your health insurance company to see if your policy covers the cost. If you want more coupons, tell formula companies (or any company that asks, as new-mom mailing lists are hot commodities to corporations) that you plan to breastfeed. You’ll actually get more special offers and samples, since confirmed formula-users don’t need persuading.
7. Paper chase. Recycle fabric napkins and buy toilet paper, facial tissues, and paper towels in bulk from discount outlets.
8. Long distance. Save on exorbitant cell-phone minute charges by postponing impulse calls until you get to a landline.
“Our hospital didn’t permit us to run our video camera during birth, plus my wife looked really miserable— drained and sweaty. Our best film moments came after we got home, when she was rested, cleaned up, and more relaxed.”
9. No-see, no-spend. Have your bank automatically deposit a set portion from your paychecks each month into an IRA or mutual-fund account. Since you can’t see it, you won’t miss it.
10. Cap gas. Keep your car’s engine tuned, change the oil on schedule, monitor the tire pressure, and keep wheels aligned to improve gas mileage and reduce wear and tear. Create a ridesharing group for getting to and from work every day. The company and conversations will be fun, and you’ll make big savings on gas. If available, give public transportation a try.
11. Digitize. Take baby pictures with a digital camera so you can pre-select your photos and print them at home using your computer to save on film-processing costs.
“I pulled together a group of my favorite photos of our baby and mounted them on colored squares of poster stock and then fastened them together like an accordion. I’m keeping this scrapbook to show our son at bedtime when he’s older.”
12. Make your own food. Cut back on eating out, make your own healthy lunches, and roll your grocery cart past the expensive frozen entrées. Get back to the basics of healthy veggies, fish, and meat that you can quickly steam or stir-fry at home. (You’ll save on calories, too.) Blend and mash your baby’s food using healthy vegetables, mushy fruits, and well-cooked meats with juices.
13. Shop the outer aisles of the grocery store. The healthier, fresher food like milk and vegetables are usually on the outer parameters of the grocery store. More expensive canned and boxed foods are usually kept in the middle. Shop outside the “junk zone.”
14. Freeze it. Consider investing in a freezer so you can buy meats and frozen foods in bulk, especially when they’re on sale.
15. Don’t pay to exercise. Walk and run in the fresh air instead of being cooped up in a (expensive) gym. Set up your own in-home exercise area, and don’t allow yourself the luxury of watching television without doing jumping jacks, stretches on your exercise ball, or moving around with weights.
16. Don’t pay for television. Consider canceling premium channels or cable television and rent movies or DVDs of TV reruns instead. You probably won’t have time to sit down and watch an entire program, anyway.
17. Turn down the heat. Reduce costly fuel and air-conditioning bills by making sure insulation is in place in your attic and by blocking leaks around doors and windows. Install insulating drapes to help keep heat and air-conditioning indoors. Fit a thermostat with a memory that turns down the heat at night and when no one’s home, and that raises it in the morning—or simply make it a habit to do it manually. Keep baby warm in your bed, or put him in a sleep sack. (And turn off lights, just like you were told to as a child!)
18. Bundle your insurance. You may be able to save hundreds of dollars by negotiating with your insurance agent to have your car, your house, and other insurance from a single insurer.
19. Get a hand on hand-me-downs. Used baby clothes, blankets, and bedding are a great bargain! Beg them off your friends who are giving up baby-making, or do swaps. Hunt thrift stores, consignment shops, and tag sales for T-shirts, gowns, booties, and other everyday baby clothes. Use an oxy-style detergent to lift the milk stains.
20. Co-op it. Join a food co-op, a babysitting co-op, and any other type of sharing venture that cuts costs.
21. Crunch your credit. Use credit cards that build miles for trips, but only charge what you can pay off in the same month. Instead of building up credit debt with high interest rates, consolidate your debts into a single loan at low interest and pay it off faithfully every month.
22. Get a piggy bank. Emptying all the change in your pockets each evening into a jar or piggy bank can add up quickly—sometimes to as much as $100 a month. Buy a coin sorter, get wrappers from your bank, and sit down once a month to package your loose change for depositing in your bank account (or the savings account you’ve set up for your baby).
23. Nix costly “designer” cosmetics. Buy lipsticks, foundations, moisturizers, and eye shadows from the drugstore. Cheaper brands often work just as well and are of similar quality to costly, designer cosmetics that rely on their image and name to attract customers. No cream can keep your skin from aging or erase your stretch marks, so don’t waste your money.
24. Do your own nails and hair. Save money by doing your own manicures and pedicures and by touching up your hair color yourself.
25. Come clean. Avoid expensive dry-cleaning bills by only buying clothing and coats that are wrinkle resistant and that can withstand lots of machine washing and drying. Use cold-water detergents to save on hot-water bills. For non-washable garments, use at-home dry-cleaning kits that work in your own dryer.
RECORDING YOUR BABY’S FIRST YEAR
Having a baby presents you with so many momentous “firsts” that it’s a shame not to record these special times whenever you can. A variety of options are available for helping you keep a historic record of Junior’s first year.
Rather than relying on disposable cameras, which can sometimes yield disappointing results, many new parents are moving to portable, handy digital cameras and camcorders to freeze-frame or film their babies’ milestones and antics.
Here are some practical suggestions for taking great baby pictures:
Basic Travel Equipment
It’s amazing how much you’ll end up packing to cover your baby’s travel needs! Here are some essential items to carry on board (as opposed to packing them in your checked luggage or deep in your trunk):
• Medical information. Take your pediatrician’s telephone number and your baby’s medical insurance card.
• Diapers. It’s better to have too many than too few. If you end up stranded with car trouble, or sitting in an airport because a flight’s been canceled, you won’t feel like trying to fashion a diaper out of paper towels and tape.
• Formula. The same “better safe than sorry” policy goes for pre-measured, powdered formula and bottles if you’re not breastfeeding. It’s hard to predict when a flight will be canceled or delayed, and you don’t want to be stuck with no way to feed your baby. If you’re not breastfeeding, carry enough powdered formula in your carry-on luggage to last at least one day.
• Clothing. Pack a collection of baby T-shirts or other clothing to make sure you’re covered for any spit-ups or diaper blowouts. You’ll also want to pack a couple of lightweight cotton baby blankets, a baby hat, and an extra shirt for you in case your baby spits up all over you.
• Pacifiers. If your baby is dependent on them, then pack 3 or 4 (at least).
• Plastic bags. Zippered 2-gallon plastic bags are great for storing soiled clothing, and put several folded, damp washcloths (or disposable baby wipes) in a sandwich-sized one for cleanups.
• Skincare products and medication. If your baby’s over six months of age, carry sunshield lotion made especially for babies and children. A tube of zinc oxide or a jar of petroleum jelly will come in handy as bottom protection if a rash flares up. Infant Tylenol® and a thermometer will be useful if your baby develops a fever.
• Portable stroller. A lightweight, easy-to-fold stroller with a good canopy, or a clip-on, gooseneck umbrella will come in handy for sightseeing and strolls. But if you’re flying, be careful about checking your naked stroller as a piece of luggage! The frame may get bent unless you secure it in a protective box like those used for golf bags. Your best bet is to wheel it all the way down the jetway and check it there, where it will (hopefully) sit on top of the other luggage and be waiting for you when you get off the plane.
• Travel play yard. If you’re driving and have to take your own baby bed, then consider purchasing an easy-to-fold travel play yard. It should have a firm mattress pad that’s well fastened down. Don’t waste your money on models with bassinets or diaper-changing add-ons. Those features aren’t worth it, and they may be unsafe if there’s a chance the baby could roll overboard or get caught between the tubular components. (Your other option is to rent a crib from a local rental service store.)
• Get close. The closer you can get to your baby’s face and hands, the more touching your photos will be. Try to fill at least a third of the frame with your baby.
• Be prepared. Baby milestones, like the first smile, the first step, or the adorable drool down the chin happen in an instant. Keep the camera charged and ready to go and take a series of pictures one-after-the-other to make sure you capture the moment.
• Experiment with different angles. Try capturing a pet in the background with the baby to one side in the frame, or do something different and take shots from above, below, and at eye-level.
• Get the “Anne Geddes shot.” Take a picture of your sleeping baby nestled against his dad’s bare chest, or prop your baby in the middle of a pumpkin, a huge flower pot, or a field of flowers.
• Use props. A small baby usually photographs better on his belly with a firm pillow or supporting him under his arm and chest. Babies look winsome or silly in hats, glasses, or standing in dad’s shoes. Girls look cute surrounded by the puffed-up skirt of a fancy baby dress (with a bow in the hair). Propping up your baby in his car seat and draping it with a blanket can make for a good head shot. Use a hand mirror to reflect sunlight off your baby’s cheeks if there is a shadow.
“It’s a lot safer if your baby’s flying in a car seat if the plane hits turbulence. Adults have to fasten their seat belts for safety, [so] why shouldn’t babies?”
• Go outdoors. Babies photograph best in the shade, and the richest outdoor colors are early in the morning, or two hours before dusk.
• Other hints. Try for a simple, non-distracting background. Use a flash if the room is dark, or let in natural light. Improve your odds of capturing a great baby moment by taking a series of photos in a row instead of only one at a time. The steadier you hold the camera, the clearer your shot will be.
• Journaling. In addition to taking lots of pictures, consider creating “word pictures,” too, by keeping a daily journal with brief descriptions of your baby’s day and milestones, or drawing cartoons of your baby’s antics. They could be a treasure years later and help you to recapture those moments before you forget them.
Taking a trip with a baby is exhausting, especially if you’re still recovering from giving birth and trying to adapt to parenthood. Your baby may be an angel, but it takes tons of luggage to tote all those baby supplies.
If you’ve got a crawling or walking tot, you’ll need to be extra vigilant to protect your baby from accidents at your destination. Motel staff, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and friends can’t be expected to keep an eye on your baby. Consider before you go: Will you need to take your own baby gate to protect your baby from open staircases? Are there going to be widely spaced openings between stair spindles or deck railings that will need to be protected by mesh to protect from falls? Will there be an unprotected pond or pool?
If you’ve got an active crawler, join the troops of wide-eyed, anxious parents who race into motel rooms and grandparents’ homes searching every nook and cranny. Then again, you can ask your relatives to come and visit you, instead (and to clean the house while they’re there).
Car travel tips
First and foremost: Be sure you’ve got the right car seat for your baby, and that it’s installed correctly. The seat should be designed for your baby’s weight (for example, if you have a newborn, it should be suitable for babies weighing under 20 pounds). It should be installed in the backseat and facing toward the rear bumper of the car, not forward (to protect baby from air bags, which can kill, and from whiplash). And if you try to wiggle the seat, it shouldn’t move.
If you run into installation problems, such as loose belts that let the seat flop around, contact your local car dealer, the police department, or call the toll-free customer service line for your particular car model to get advice.
“Our airplane was rerouted several times due to storms and congestion. At one point we were grounded for over an hour on the tarmac in Philadelphia. Fortunately, we packed plenty of dry formula mix for the trip!”
Don’t stash parcels or anything other than passengers in the backseat. In a crash, everything, including suitcases, strollers, and diaper bags becomes a dangerous projectile. If you’re traveling with a dog, make sure to secure him in a car harness—he could become a canine missile in an accident.
If it’s summertime and hot, you may want to get a suctioned sunshield for the window nearest the baby to prevent glare and sunburn. Take a blanket or beach towel to cover your baby’s seat when your car’s parked to keep the hardware from getting burning hot. And, of course, never leave your baby inside the car without the air-conditioning on and an adult during the summer. Interior temperatures soar to 120° F and higher and can be fatal for a baby.
Tip
Don’t be surprised if you find yourself more tired when you get back home than before you left! Lots of parents tell us they return home feeling like they need a vacation AFTER their vacation.
Negotiating airports
Air travel these days can be complex and exhausting, especially if you’ve got a baby in your arms. Here are our hints for making it through your next flight:
• Ticketing and documentation. If you can afford it, buy a separate ticket for your baby and his car seat. If not, plan to hold your baby in a lightweight front carrier and ask the ticketing agent to assign you next to an empty seat, if possible. Book your flight during off-hours, such as midday in the middle of the week, when planes are less likely to be stuffed elbow-to-elbow with passengers. If you’re flying with another adult, reserve the window and aisle seats in a three-seat row on the chance that the middle seat will be left empty.
• Call ahead. To avoid having to throw things away during the security screening process at the airport, contact your airlines, a local travel agent, or the Transportation Security Administration (www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/children) to find out in advance if you can take items such as formula; breastmilk; canned, jarred, or processed baby foods; and gel-or liquid-filled teethers through security checkpoints and aboard your plane.
• Passport. Your baby will need a passport for overseas travel, and that requires a form, a fee, and two photos of your baby. Plus, you’ll need to present a certified copy of your baby’s birth certificate, and you may need a signed and witnessed consent form from your baby’s other parent. No one else can be in your baby’s photo. Lay your baby on a white background, or drape a sheet around yourself so that only the baby is in the shot. Consider taking the shot yourself. Some passport cameras can’t come in close enough to get a clear picture. Use a digital camera, then crop the picture and enlarge it with software. First-time passports may take up to a month to process, unless you pay an additional fee for faster service.
• Baggage management. Use a lightweight, folding frame with wheels made specifically for infant car seats to wheel your baby through the airport. Use a backpack with wheels for your purse and your baby’s diapers, dry formula, extra clothes, baby wipes, and changing pad, so your hands are free. Carry your tickets and I.D. in a pouch around your neck.
• Arrive early. Save yourself a lot of stress by getting to the airport an hour or two earlier than your departure time. You can then take