Last-Minute Dos and Don’ts
Get organized
Here’s a list of practical things to do with yourself during those last boring and achy days before your baby arrives:
• Tour. If you haven’t already done so, sign up for a tour of your hospital or birthing center, if only to find out exactly where to park, where to go when you’re in labor, and to make sure that all of your forms are in order so you can have the quickest possible check-in.
• Check insurance benefits. Read your insurance policy carefully to see what your insurance will and won’t pay for during your hospitalization, such as a private room, the services of a lactation consultant, or a breast pump rental.
• Read. Read up about the stages of labor and finish off your birth plan. Decide which procedures and pain relief methods you do or don’t want, or reaffirm your decision just to “wait and see” what feels right when you’re in labor.
• Organize work issues. At work, update your résumé and collect addresses of professional contacts to take home with you in case you decide to extend your maternity leave or change jobs.
• Make a phone list. Create a “whom to notify” phone list and distribute a phone chain in your family about who calls whom so your partner doesn’t have to phone everyone after the birth.
• Store cell numbers. Key in critical telephone numbers: your doctor or midwife; the labor and delivery area of the hospital; the doula ; the most important relatives and friends to be called after birth. Buy an extra cell-phone charger for the hospital, and if you don’t already have one, get a cell-phone charger for your car.
• Organize mail. Set up a mail area in your house, with stamps, address labels, envelopes, pens, a bill box, and a trash can for tossing out junk mail.
• Finalize your baby’s name. If you haven’t decided on your baby’s name, make your final choice for both a boy and a girl (in case your sonogram was wrong).
• Stock up on household basics. Buy and store nonperishable household goods like trash bags, lightbulbs, batteries, office supplies, and of course, diapers and wipes (or washcloths). (For a complete shopping list, see in 4. Gear Guide.)
• Gather documents. Make sure your partner knows where important household documents are, such as insurance papers and prescription cards, passports, tax returns, car maintenance, title and registration documents, and other records.
• Make duplicate keys. Get copies of your house and car keys for neighbors, visitors, or anyone who will be providing household help after birth.
• Protect your mattress. Purchase a waterproof pad for your mattress in case your water breaks before you go into labor and to protect it from all of those postpartum fluids, like breastmilk and diaper leaks.
• Prepare for guests. Hide anything in your house that you don’t want visiting in-laws, cleaning ladies, or baby nurses to see.
• Plan for babysitters. Arrange care for any other children and/or household pets while you’re in labor.
• Check your suitcase. Make sure you’ve got everything packed for the hospital or birth center. (See A Word from the Authors.)
• Post critical telephone numbers. In addition to pizza delivery and your doctor’s or midwife’s office and pager numbers, it’s also good to have posted the direct line to the birthing center or hospital labor and birthing center where you’ll be; your doula (and her alternate); your baby’s soon-to-be pediatrician; and a taxi service.
• Install the car seat. Purchase a rear-facing car seat suitable for a baby weighing as few as five pounds and install it in the backseat of your car using the directions that come with the seat and with your vehicle’s owner’s manual. Then, contact your local police or fire department to see about having the installation safety checked. (For more about car seats, see in 4. Gear Guide.)
• Follow up about your records. Call your doctor’s or midwife’s office to confirm that the hospital or birthing center has a copy of all of your records and a copy of your birth plan.
• Complete thank-yous. Write and send thank-you notes to people who have given you baby gifts.
• Manage baby gifts. Put any gifts that your baby is not old enough to use, such as a high chair, a swing, or clothes larger than 12 months in storage, until later. Return or exchange any baby gifts that you’re not going to use.
• Decide about circumcision. Ask your baby’s pediatrician-to-be about the benefits and risks of circumcision. Evidence suggests that there are some potential medical benefits of circumcision, but they’re not strong enough for the American Academy of Pediatrics to recommend routinely circumcising a baby. If you do decide to circumcise, make sure the procedure and the baby’s pain relief and anesthetic are covered by your insurance. If you plan to have the circumcision performed in the hospital, find out when, where, and by whom it will be performed and what pain relief methods will be available to your son. No matter what, insist that pain relief methods be used.
• Locate a mohel. If you’re Jewish, line up a mohel for the ritual circumcision and think about where you want to hold the bris.
• Speak to your care provider. Ask your care provider at what point she wants you to call if you think you’re in labor.
• Discuss dad decisions. Talk to your partner about your birth plan and how he wants to participate in the birth. Does he want to cut the cord, or would he rather be passing out cigars and making phone calls in the waiting room? Do you want him to accompany you into the operating room if you have a c-section?
In your spare time
• Walk. Walking will help to get your muscles into shape, get your baby into the proper position, stimulate your digestion, and help you sleep more soundly.
• Bask. Swim or take warm baths. Being in water will take pressure off of your strained muscles, and you may be able to float on your back and watch your baby kick.
• Create. Sew something, or create a family scrapbook.
• Listen to or make music. Make or mix CDs of your favorite music. Your baby’s hearing is very developed at this point, and studies have shown that the kind of music a baby’s exposed to in the womb will have a soothing effect on him after birth.
• Chat. Find other pregnant moms online and commiserate. Set up a blog to post your birth story and baby pictures on, and/or read other moms’ blogs.
• Try to get some rest. Try arranging pillows of all sizes and firmness levels, or try napping with one leg slung over the back of your sofa. Make sure your bed is as close as possible to the bathroom, and get a night-light so you don’t have to wake up completely during your five nightly trips to pee a teaspoonful.
Things to avoid
• Spending into debt. Control your pre-baby spending. Don’t go for cute, overpriced cribs, toys, or other frivolous baby products while shopping in a hormonal fog.
• Fights. Your whole perspective on the world and all of your relationships are undergoing radical changes. With new circumstances, new conflicts come into play, and many couples have a hard time expressing the deep and complicated emotions that come along.
• Panic. Don’t race off to the hospital at the first sign of contractions. You’re more likely to have a birth without unwanted interventions if you take it easy and let your labor evolve and become well-established before hitting the road to the hospital. Just relax, eat, and try to get as much rest as you can while waiting to see what develops.
Did you think to pack these?
Here are some miscellaneous items that you may find useful during your hospital stay. Then again, lots of moms say they stuffed their suitcases to the hilt only to find they were too busy laboring to open the bag!
• Lip balm. Your lips will get dry during labor.
• Nursing bras and pads. Two roomy nursing bras and a box of comfortable breast pads.
• Several pairs of PJs. You don’t have to wear a hospital gown if you don’t want to, as long as health-care professionals can get where they need to go. If you bring your own nightgown, button-down styles work best.
• Drinks or snacks. Prune juice will not only hydrate you, it’ll also help make your first BM after birth more bearable. And bring something to snack on in case the cafeteria is closed. When you get your appetite back after delivery, you’ll be ravenous.
• Secretarial supplies. A notebook and pen will be useful for writing down any medical instructions or anything you want to remember. You may also want to bring an address book with important people to notify and a folder to hold important documents.
• A camera. You’ll want to record this momentous event!
• Earplugs. Hospitals are busy places, and it’s tough to sleep with people coming in and out and your neighbor watching television at top volume.
• A blanket and pillow(s). Your partner can use them to nap in the chair in your recovery room. Plus, hospital linens are notoriously scratchy and often smell of bleach. Be sure to put your pillow in a colored case so you don’t accidentally leave it behind.
FLASH FACT: Giving Babies Their Due
On the average, girl babies spend a day longer inside their mothers than boys. First-time babies often arrive days later than their due dates. On the average, Caucasian babies spend five days longer gestating than African-American babies, while babies in India spend six days longer than white babies inside. These arrival averages appear to have a genetic corollary and are not associated with the size of the babies or the affluence or poverty of their parents.