DAY 3

If you had an uncomplicated birth, you’ll be home today, but if you had a c-section or other complications, you’ll still be a guest at the hospital. (For more about cesarean recovery, see in 5. Managing Your First Year.) If you had a hospital birth, the length of your and your baby’s stay depends upon the type of birth you had and what your insurance will pay for. Federal law mandates that for a normal delivery, insurance companies must pay for a 48-hour hospital stay, and for a cesarean section, 96 hours. Alternatively, if you give birth in a freestanding birth center, you can go home whenever you’re ready.

Whether you realize it or not, you are already preprogrammed to respond to your baby’s cries. One study found that only three days after birth, almost all deeply sleeping mothers awakened right away to the recorded sound of their own babies’ crying, but they kept on sleeping if the recorded crying was from a baby belonging to someone else. Forty-eight hours after giving birth, about half the mothers could pick the recordings of their own babies’ cries out of those from 31 other babies. The mothers could easily tell the difference between cries of pain and hunger.

When you walk in the front door of your home for the first time, even though it may have only been a few days since you left for the hospital, it can feel like you’ve been gone an eternity. And as for the baby, though we can’t speak for him, we can imagine that he’ll be pretty excited to go home, be close to you and somewhere that smells familiar, and away from strangers, needles, and bright lights. The closest he’ll be able to come to expressing this, of course, will be to nurse and look at you.

Quietly take some time to show him around while you and your partner tell him about his new house and family. His brain is already starting to make the connections that will lead to language, and he’s very familiar with your voice from listening in the womb.

It won’t take long to discover that your baby’s needs are really quite simple, and you’ll quickly adapt to diapering, feeding, and putting-down-to-sleep routines. Babies are actually quite sturdy, even after birth, and it won’t take long until you’re sailing through like a pro. (For lots of useful baby care tips, see 3. Your Baby Maintenance Guide.)

Getting started

Almost every culture in the world has a tradition of mom and baby spending the first month to 6 weeks in seclusion, resting, recovering, getting to know each other, and being tended to by immediate family. This is a great tradition to adopt, and we hope you have the support to make that happen. In the first month, you will be in a physically and psychologically fragile state—your body and world have gone through a radical change.

If you don’t have that support, then it will be up to you to mobilize what family members, friends, and others you can so that you are able to get all the rest and recovery time you need to get yourself back on your feet. If you don’t have family around, or your family is unable to cook, clean, and take care of you, think about hiring a postpartum doula or a baby nurse to be there for you during your recovery period. Your insurance company may even cover their house calls. Meanwhile, you’ll be sore, bleeding heavily, bloated, flabby, and bruised. Visitors who aren’t there to pitch in with the workload may be more of a drag than a joy, especially if they bring unwanted germs with them.

Sometime in the next few days you will also experience what’s called “milk coming in.” There was already some fluid in there, called colostrum, and if you were shown how to use a breast pump in the hospital, you may have produced a tablespoon or two of it. But when milk-making starts for real, your breasts will swell and harden, and you may experience the highly unusual sensation of milk flowing through the ducts in your chest. If you have pale skin, you may even be able to see your ducts, as well as your veins. You also may be surprised to discover that the milk comes out of multiple holes in each nipple like a lawn sprinkler.

Milk coming in can be uncomfortable at first, and your nipples may hurt for the first 10 days or so of breastfeeding. You may also still be feeling twinges of uterine cramps each time your baby nurses. Breastfeeding releases a hormone that helps your uterus to contract and shrink, which feels like menstrual cramps. (For more about breastfeeding, see in 3. Your Baby Maintenance Guide.) After that, breastfeeding will become quite comfortable.

 

“You can’t take too many pictures. You’ll be amazed in a few months when you see how tiny the baby looks next to your furniture!”

You’ll quickly adapt to taking care of your baby (mostly because you don’t have a choice). But you may find that it’s the other practical details that pose the real problem. What do you do if you’re rocking the baby, he’s almost asleep, and you have to go to the bathroom? Who holds the baby, or what are you supposed to do with him if you want to take a shower? How do you prepare a meal with one hand when you’re holding the baby in the other? These challenges will be particularly tricky if you find yourself alone in the house with baby—a situation you should avoid at all costs during at least the first month.

If you had a c-section you’ll be extra sore with practically everything hurting when you move. Picking your baby up is almost impossible, and you won’t even be able to bend over to change your own pad. Things WILL get better, but recovery will be gradual, not overnight.

If you have other children, or your pets have always been your “babies,” you may worry about how they’ll accept your new family member coming home from the hospital. (For helpful hints for introducing everyone to one another, see in 5. Managing Your First Year.) Never leave animals alone with your baby.

Anyone from outside your home who wants time with your baby should wash his or her hands using antibacterial hand soap before holding the baby. If the person has a cough or cold, ask them to wait until they feel better, or supply them with a face mask to protect your baby from exposure.

Let small children “tickle the baby’s foot” instead of suggesting that they hold the baby. If an older child wants to hold the baby, swaddle the baby first, have someone help the child wash her hands, then sit the child on a soft surface, such as a couch with arms, before the baby’s presented, so there’s no danger of the baby falling.

Coping with stitches

If you had an episiotomy, here are some quick pointers for helping to reduce your pain and protect your stitches:

• Squeeze and tuck. If you’ve got stitches in your vaginal area, contract the muscles that squeeze your glutes (the muscles in your butt) together when you lower yourself down to sit, and sit as flat as possible on a hard chair. Sitting on a doughnut-shaped peripad or with your legs crossed in front of you may be temporarily more comfortable than chair sitting.

• Soothe. To avoid infection, write down any instructions you get in the hospital about how to care for your stitches (and your cesarean site). Use warm sprays of water and dab with a soft washcloth to clean yourself after using the bathroom instead of wiping with toilet paper.

• Lifting and driving. Don’t lift anything heavier than the baby, and try to avoid trudging up and down stairs. Care providers caution against driving, fearing that the discomfort of the stitches may make you slow to react.

• Don’t rush in the bathroom. Getting up and down from the toilet may be painful. Slow down and take it easy.

 

“Here’s what to expect your first week home: feeding your baby, diapering your baby, burping your baby, watching over your sleeping baby, being awakened by your baby, worrying about your baby. Repeat.”