DAY 6

YOUR BABY

You could swear your baby smiled in her sleep, but that kind of smile is more reflexive than on purpose. Early, fleeting grins can be caused by your baby hearing a high-pitched voice, such as yours, being tickled, and when he’s passing gas. A few months from now the real smiles and coos will come, and they will be aimed directly at you. As you know, your baby has lots of reflexes. If you touch her cheek, she will turn her head in the direction of the touch; the brush of a blanket against her cheek, or tying a bonnet around her chin can set off this reflex.

If you lower her backward too quickly for a diaper change, she’ll start screaming—that’s her startle (Moro) reflex making her gasp as her arms fly backward and her hands clutch, and this will almost always be followed by crying. Lowering your baby down slowly and preventing rapid temperature changes by keeping her covered are good ways to keep her reflex switch from turning on accidentally.

Cradle cap

Some babies develop a red, scaly rash on their scalps, which can appear on their faces, too. This is called cradle cap, and it can show up anytime between two weeks to three months after birth. Usually it clears up on its own after a few months.

The causes of cradle cap are not completely understood, but it may be related to overproduction from the oil-producing sebaceous glands. With mild cases, your baby will have flaky, dry skin that looks like dandruff. In a more severe case, there will be thick, oily, yellowish scaling or crusting patches. Your baby’s pediatrician may recommend rubbing mild vegetable or olive oil into the scalp, letting it sit for about 15 minutes, then gently combing out the flakes with a baby comb or medium-soft brush before shampooing your baby’s scalp. This can be performed two to three times a week. Some doctors instruct parents to let shampoo sit on the baby’s scalp for about five minutes. Later, add another drop of baby shampoo, lather, then rinse and pat the head dry.

In some cases, a yeast infection may appear in the creases of your baby’s limbs that is bright red and itchy, and may become oozy. It is usually best treated with an antiyeast cream prescribed by your baby’s pediatrician.

  Tip

Some doctors find that using an antidandruff shampoo containing selenium sulfide 2 to 3 times a week will help to cure cradle cap, but special care must be used to keep the shampoo out of the baby’s eyes.

This shampooing and combing procedure is best carried out at the kitchen sink. Before you begin, firmly swaddle your baby by wrapping her body in a blanket or towel cocoon, leaving only her head exposed. Again, be extremely careful about the water temperature, and avoid hitting the baby with the faucet. Also, keep the shampoo out of your baby’s eyes. Even though it may be labeled “tearless,” it still has chemicals, and she’ll still cry.

YOU

Your first look at your body in a full-length mirror can be a shocking experience, and we recommend putting it off for as long as possible. The view will be especially scary if you’ve had a c-section; your belly and thighs are covered with stretch marks or are sagging like deflated water balloons, or you may have bruising from needles.

If you have the guts to stand on the scale, you’ll find that your first-week postpartum weight will not be not much more than a few pounds less than what the baby weighed. That can be very discouraging. The good news is that your pregnancy weight will drop in the coming weeks and months, most scars and stretch marks will fade, and bruises will heal. The bad news is that your abdominal muscle tone may never completely return. But if you’re in exceptional physical shape, with lots of vigorous and determined work you may be able to recover your pre-pregnancy body, or at least get close to it.

If you suffered tailbone injuries, your lower back got strained, or your birth assistants stretched your thighs apart when you were pushing while numbed by an epidural, it may take weeks or even many months for the discomfort to subside. Meanwhile, ask your health-care provider about pain-relief options, such as warm or cold compresses, and overthe-counter anti-inflammatory medications. Your health insurance may pay for massage or physical therapy, too.

Be sure to report any post-birth headache you get to your care provider, especially if it’s severe. Commonly, it’s just a sinus headache, which feels like a sharp pain, often behind the eyes, that worsens when you move your head around. If you are prone to migraines, they may return and even worsen during the postpartum period.

 

“Be patient with your weight postpartum. Keep repeating that old saying: ‘Nine months to put it on, nine months to take it off.’ ”

For a common headache, your care provider may recommend a regular dose of acetaminophen (Tylenol®) or sinus medication if there are no signs of something more serious. But a headache accompanied by swelling and vision problems may signal a serious and potentially life-threatening case of postpartum preeclampsia. Notify your doctor or midwife about those symptoms without delay. (For more about your physical recovery, see of 5. Managing Your First Year.)

Dealing with diaper “doody”

Expect to change about 8,000 diapers before your baby is finally toilet trained—the ultimate test of parental devotion. Young babies usually stool more often than older ones, sometimes after every meal, but after the first six weeks both breastfed and bottle-fed babies may skip a day or two of pooping without it being constipation.

Does the smell and texture of poop make you feel like gagging? Most parents learn how to hold their breath momentarily until the fumes stop rising out of the open diaper. (Actually, breastmilk poop isn’t that entirely offensive, but formula poop—phew!)

Diapers carrying a bowel movement load should be changed as quickly as possible after you discover them. Baby poop contains chemicals that interact with urine and break down the natural, protective barriers on the surface of your baby’s skin, making it more vulnerable to diaper rash. Soap isn’t necessary for cleaning. It dries your baby’s skin and will wash away its naturally protective skin oils, just as it does on facial skin.

To get the poop off, especially if it’s dried onto the skin, spray your baby’s bottom with a spritz bottle filled with warm water and use a fresh, damp washcloth or a disposable baby wipe to gently clean the diaper area.

   FLASH FACT: Body Changes After Birth

Seventy-eight percent of women report having stretch marks after birth, and 73 percent report a sagging stomach. Generally, after six months, any extra pregnancy weight will be yours to keep or try to get rid of. Your uterus will never be quite as firm as it was before, but no one will be any the wiser about that.

If you’re changing your baby on a bathroom counter with a pad, try holding your baby under the faucet or lowering her into several inches of lukewarm water in the sink like a sitz bath, as long as your baby’s umbilical stump and circumcision area has healed.

When you’re using the sink, move slowly. Be extremely careful that the water is only lukewarm. Babies’ sensitive skin can burn in water that’s comfortably warm for adults. Also, remember that wet babies are very slippery, and take care not to strike your baby’s head or body on the rim of the faucet. After bathing, quickly wrap her up in a towel to keep her from getting a chill. (For more about diapering, see in 3. Your Baby Maintenance Guide; for advice on choosing changing tables and diaper bags, see in 4. Gear Guide.)

The “spoiling” myth

Lots of parents worry that they will become total slaves to their babies’ every whim, and their children will grow up to be “spoiled”—demanding, clingy, self-centered brats. The truth is, the idea of spoiling a baby is an old doctor’s tale promulgated by a rather unfriendly physician in the early 1900s who warned mothers just to let their babies cry in their cradles, lest they become used to being coddled too much and demand more and more of it. Unfortunately, old dictates have a hard time dying.

Multiple infancy studies have shown just the opposite is true. The more rapidly and consistently parents respond to their babies, the more independent and less clingy they’re apt to become later. In fact, studies found that expectant parents who determined in advance that their babies were not going to be spoiled were more likely to produce the very offspring they hoped to avoid a year later.

 

“Everybody thinks they’ve got to rush around. Babies spend most of their days being lugged in and out of cars and trying to adjust to strange situations. We’ve decided we wanted to create a calmer, more peaceful life for our baby, and we’re taking as much time off as we can to just relax and enjoy his world, instead of trying to make him adjust to ours.”

Being present for your baby and answering her pleas for help are exactly the right things to be doing at this stage in your baby’s life. So, don’t fall for parenting classes that urge you to schedule your baby’s eating and sleeping routines for your own convenience or that try to discourage you from being a responsive, attentive, and sensitive parent.

On the other hand, leading a reasonably predictable life so that each day is similar to the next will eventually help your baby to stabilize, develop good sleeping and eating habits, and feel more secure.