WEEK 3

YOUR BABY

Your baby may have longer periods of wakefulness while he seems content to simply gaze around and take in his world. It’s tempting to jump right in and try to stimulate him with a rattle and to constantly jabber at him. That’s what parents are supposed to do, right? Maybe not.

Part of the skill of effective parenting is being able to arrest these impulses; try to hold back and observe your baby and then act in response to his cues. Sometimes your baby may simply need peaceful time to take in his new surroundings. Try placing him on his tummy or back on a blanket in a safe place and staying right beside him while he has a chance to look around, but pick him up if he starts to complain.

If you want to interact with him, lay him on your lap with his head at your knees and his feet at your stomach and simply watch what he does, and then imitate him. Or, lie beside him in the direction that his head is facing, raise your eyebrows, and speak to him softly and slowly in a high-pitched voice. Or, raise him up with both your arms, cupping his head in your palms without touching his cheeks. Draw him in close to your face (about 10 inches away) and talk to him. Slowly move your head from one side to the other to see if his eyes follow you.

While you’re doing any of these things, if he shuts his eyes, lowers or turns his head, glances to the side, grimaces, hiccups, yawns, sneezes, or starts to fret, he’s probably signaling to you that he’s getting overwhelmed by all this attention and has had enough mom(or pop-) time for now. Try imitating what he’s doing. It will help you have more empathy and grasp his signals better; plus, it may bring him back around for a few more minutes of “conversation.”

How to read your baby like a book

Watch your infant intently and you’ll catch the first tender shoots of feelings— basic contentment or distress— start to emerge and be expressed even though he can’t yet talk. When your baby’s happy, he will smile and make smooth, easy movements. If he’s distressed, he will grimace, breathe faster, grasp his shirt or diaper, and of course, cry.

Surprisingly, your baby’s face is already equipped to show all of the emotional states that adults have. Here’s how to read his facial expressions:

• Interest. When your baby’s interest is barely there, he will be awake, but his face will look sober and not very expressive. If he’s more interested, he will seem relaxed, and have a curious, wide-eyed expression on his face. If he’s really excited about what he’s seeing, he’ll be wide-eyed, and his eyebrows will knit together above his nose. His eyes may appear a little more closed and may even look as though he’s got crow’s feet around them. He may look like he’s concentrating or quizzical.

• Wariness. Your baby’s brow area will be wrinkled, his body may become still, and he will appear to be trying hard to concentrate as though to understand what’s happening. There could be a pause when he decides whether to cry or not. In a couple of months, he may purse his lips into a thin line like a Cabbage Patch Kids® baby.

• Gaze aversion or head lowering. If your interaction seems threatening or too stimulating to your baby, he may avert his eyes to the side or lower his head. It’s his way of saying “back off!” If you imitate his actions, you may see him return to concentrating on your face. Other withdrawal signs: eye shutting, grimacing, hiccupping, yawning, sneezing, spitting up, or becoming fretful.

• Surprise. Your baby’s eyebrow area will be raised high, and his eyes so wide open that you can see the whites of his eyes. His mouth will open into an “O” shape. This expression flashes by in an instant and is usually caused by an unexpected sight or sound.

• Sleepy smiling. Your baby may smile in his sleep! Eyes may squint, and his mouth will turn up at the corners, as though he’s having a pleasant dream. (For all we know, he may be!) By 3 to 4 weeks, you may catch his first conscious smile back at you, and by 6 to 8, he’ll smile more often. Once he starts doing that, if you move in close to your baby’s face, raise your eyebrows, and wag your head at him while talking to him, he may smile or giggle and move his arms and legs to signal his excitement.

• Pain. Your baby will draw his brows together and lower them so there’s a noticeable bulge across his forehead. He will tightly squeeze his eyes together like he’s squinting. Then will come loud crying with his mouth wide open, almost square and showing his cupped tongue inside. Your baby will cry like this when his heel is lanced, and when he is circumcised if he isn’t given painkillers. Cries of hunger quickly turn to cries of pain if the baby’s ignored or if he is placed on an arbitrary feeding schedule. Babies with colic will also show the pain cry, although interior hormonal, heart rate, and blood oxygen levels may not be as radical as when the baby’s experiencing serious pain.

• Disgust. Your baby will turn away from a disgusting taste or aroma. His mouth will gape open, his lower lip will pout, and he may gag. Some babies initially show disgust at the aroma of formula. At six months, he may show disgust at certain flavors of baby food.

• Pouting. Your baby’s brow area will turn down on the outside, his eyes will narrow, folds of skin will appear between his eyes, and his lips will turn down like a little horseshoe. He may raise his chin and stick out his lower lip.

• Anger or sadness. Your baby will draw his brows together and unmistakably lower them down further than in any other expression. He may cry, and if so, his mouth will look square and his crying will have a rhythmical, rolling quality to it. For most young babies, this expression combines both anger and sadness. If he’s feeling sad, his cheeks and mouth area will turn downward into a pout.

• Fear. Even one-and two-day-old babies react with fear to unfamiliar events by looking away, shutting their eyes, arching their backs, or putting their hands up to their eyes, mouth, or ears. That’s a baby’s way of trying to withdraw from whatever is frightening or has startled them. Usually, crying follows that. In the months to come, the frightened expression will be eyebrows raised, tense lower eyelids, eyes wide open, lips drawn back, and there may be the surprise face, too.

YOU

While you’re responding day and night to your baby, it may be tempting to skip meals in favor of just a little more shut-eye or to run just one more load of dirty clothes. Plus, your cupboard may be pretty empty because you can’t drive yourself to the grocery store.

But, just as when you were pregnant, you still need a good supply of protein, healthy calories, calcium, folic acid, iron, vitamin C, and other essential vitamins. Most breastfeeding moms continue taking their prenatal vitamins, too, just to be sure all the bases are covered. Here are some tips for taking control of your nutrition so your body can recover and you can stay healthy:

• Get someone to take you to the local farmers’ market or food co-op. Stock up once a week on fresh, local vegetables and herbs. This will help you save money, plan your meals for the week, and eat better produce.

• Experiment with healthful convenience foods. Breastfeeding makes you ravenously hungry but allows you little time for food preparation. With that in mind, stock up on healthful, flavorful foods that you can pick at (besides a bag of cheese puffs): stuffed grape leaves, dips and fresh vegetables, yogurt, raisins, and nuts are all good choices.

• Discover the slow cooker. In the morning, put in meat and vegetables, pour on broth and maybe a little wine, turn on, and in 6 to 8 hours and enjoy a healthful dinner plus leftovers.

• Learn to eat with one hand. It will be a while before you’ll be able to sit down and eat a meal any other way. Most babies choose to be fussy at dinnertime, dashing your image of a romantic, candlelit dinner for two to celebrate parenthood. It will just have to wait. Meanwhile, you may be able to sneak in a few two-handed bites by putting the bouncer seat on the table or placing the baby in a semireclined automatic baby swing.

• Take your vitamins. Continue taking your prenatal vitamins for at least the first three months after birth.