WEEK 4
Weight: 7 to 11 pounds (average for girls);
7 to 12½ pounds (average for boys)
Height: 19¾ to 23 inches (average for girls);
19¾ to 23½inches (average for boys)
YOUR BABY
Your baby is one month old at the end of week four! Does it seem like an eternity since you were in the hospital? And does your baby seem larger and more of a person than when you first brought her home? You’re adapting!
Four-week-old baby
Your baby can now shakily lift her head when you hold her to your shoulder, and when she lies on her belly. She stops moving and responds to the sound of your voice, and may try to focus on your face momentarily. She is more fascinated by the human face than anything else in the world.
Your baby is learning to adapt, too. When you bend over to talk to her, she may become very still, but her facial expression may sometimes seem vague and lack eye contact. Exaggeration helps: When you speak to her, put your face near hers, softly raise your voice and your eyebrows, make big blinks and flutter your eyelashes to attract her attention.
While your baby is lying on her back in an alert state, she may briefly try to turn her head to look at something. If you dangle a toy about the size of a tennis ball tied to a string six to eight inches above her face when she’s sitting in an infant seat, she may briefly track it by moving her head. (Babies are less responsive when they’re flat on their backs.) Try moving the toy very slowly from one side to the other, or from above her head down toward her chest to see if she attempts to follow it. Her eye movements may be jerky, and if her gaze wanders, try returning the toy to the center position to see if you can recapture her interest.
Usually, your baby’s hands are clinched tightly into little fists, but if you gently pry open her fingers or caress the back of her hand to encourage them to open and slip your finger inside, she’ll grasp it when pressure is applied to her palm. If you place a rattle in her hand, she will clench it on contact but quickly drop it. Don’t try to lift her using only the strength of her grasp: She may lose her grip, causing her to fall.
“My baby screamed around the clock, and I felt horrible about it. It felt like he was blaming me for being a rotten mother. I would break down and cry, too. Fortunately, his crying eased up a few months later, and we finally bonded with each other.”
Your baby’s small, throaty sounds are turning into cooing. Being cradled and rocked are also high on her priority list of pleasures. Her body molds to the shape of yours, and her body language tells you when it’s time to be fed.
The baby’s immune system is still vulnerable, so protect her from germs spread by coughing and sneezing: Wash your hands frequently, especially if you’re sick, and ask smokers to do it outside. Large gatherings, such as family events in restaurants or reunions can be stressful for both you and your baby and can cause your baby to be more fussy than usual. You may have to leave the party to find a quiet spot to retreat and nurse.
YOU
The pressure of being new parents can simultaneously fill you and your partner with pride and also bewilder you both to the point of being almost overwhelming. If it hasn’t already, the radical lifestyle change that happens when a baby comes into the house may start to hit you this week.
Long, leisurely gourmet dinners with wine and candles or impulsive trips to the movies or the mall have been replaced by trying to eat what you can before the baby wakes up again or you fall asleep. And you will discover that for now an hour or two at a time of socializing is probably all you and the baby can tolerate.
Tip
Your baby will learn the intricacies of language by listening to you. Call your baby by name and use simple, lively phrases to describe what you’re doing as you move around the house together.
Go to sleep, please?
At birth, a typical baby sleeps approximately 50 percent of the daylight hours and 50 percent of the evening hours. By this week, that will have shifted to about 54 percent of the daylight hours and about 71 percent of the nighttime hours, showing a gradual transition from daytime to nighttime sleep. By the time she reaches about four and a half months of age, her daytime sleeping will have decreased to only about 28 percent, while the percentage of time she spends in nighttime sleep will have risen to 83 percent.
But for now, you are likely to feel a compelling sense of being sleep-deprived with a strong urge to snooze in the daytime. You’re not being lazy! Your body is still in recovery, and you’re not getting the full, deep sleep it needs. It makes sense to yield to the desire to nap while your baby is sleeping rather than squander precious rest time washing dishes, doing the laundry, vacuuming the carpet, or surfing the net. Extreme times call for extreme measures.
The good news is that your and your baby’s schedule will start to improve as the months pass. As your baby’s stomach grows and her internal systems become coordinated, she’ll start to sleep through most of the night. Then, you’ll gradually get more buffered time to do chores after the baby goes to bed. By the time your child’s a toddler, going to bed at 8:00 p.m., or so, you could have two or three more hours to yourself every night before your own bedtime!
Whatever will you do with yourself then?
Getting out and around
Are you ready for your first serious post-birth outing yet? Even if you haven’t had a c-section, it is important not to push yourself. You may discover that your energy stores aren’t what they used to be, at least for now. You may find you can manage one errand with the baby, but probably not two, and definitely not three.
Plan a good (yet doable) trip, like a stroll to a neighborhood restaurant, a movie, a walk along the river, a trip to the salon, or a few hours out with the girls.
Tip
Make a vow to make good eye-to-eye contact with your significant other at least once a day; try to force a smile, and express thanks for the small gestures.
Be sure to leave some sustenance at home for the baby, of course, like a bottle of your own milk, or, if you’re bottle feeding, some formula. Even with a bottle handy, your baby may prefer to hold off until you get home for the “real thing.”
Resist the urge to pick up your cell phone and check in. Just enjoy your moment and deal with things when you get back home. (For information on breast pumps, see in 3. Your Baby Maintenance Guide.)
Party (but not quite as hardy)
Have you started planning a welcome-baby party yet? No matter what your culture, it’s pretty much expected that you’ll throw some kind of fête du junior, be it a bris, christening, or just a welcome-home get-together.
“There’s no need to feel guilty about the fact that the expensive, big-wheeled jogging stroller is still gathering dust in the garage. Recovery takes longer than most people think.”
Whatever you decide to organize, we recommend making your event simple, manageable, and early rather than at night, so you and the baby will be awake and alert.
If you decide to drink, note that your tolerance for alcohol will be lower than it was before you became pregnant. Drinking alcohol can also reduce your milk volume by as much as 13 percent. Match every alcoholic beverage with a nonalcoholic one, and pace yourself at one drink per hour.
Tip
Get out of the house at least once a day with your baby. Going out together before your baby’s morning nap will give you both a good start on the day. Put your baby in a fabric carrier or a reclining stroller and take a stroll around the neighborhood.
How to entertain a baby
The length of time your baby can remain alert will gradually grow from seconds at a time to five minutes or more before hunger or sleepiness set in. Here are some ideas about what to do when your baby is awake and aware:
• Interact. Hold your baby, nurse her, talk to her, play music, sing your favorite songs, or take her for a walk outside and show her the trees.
• A baby sling. At this age, your baby will be more comfortable with a rounded back than having to sit upright. A baby sling is perfect for toting your new baby around while you do chores. It can be a challenge to adjust, though, so try models on first to see what works for you, and ask an experienced mom or salesperson to help with adjusting for correct fit and positioning.
“My daughter loved being in her bouncy seat. I’d put it on the dining room table when we were eating, in the kitchen when I was cooking, and on the bathroom floor while I took a shower.”
• Infant seat. A cozy, semireclining infant seat will allow your baby to lie in an almost horizontal position while she takes in her new world. Some seats vibrate or have color mobiles and light shows, but stillness and silence may be less jarring at first. Three rules: Don’t try to carry your baby around in the seat—it’s not that sturdy; don’t put the infant seat on a smooth or high surface in the belief that this will help prevent it from falling over; and don’t put her in a heavyweight car seat that’s not fastened in the car— the seat could get knocked over, causing head injuries.
Tip
Placing a bath mat under your baby’s bouncy seat will keep it from “walking” when your baby jiggles.
• Mobile. A battery-operated crib mobile, or one with a wind-up music box, may provide brief intrigue for your baby while you use the bathroom or brush your teeth.