WEEK 6

YOUR BABY

By now, your baby may be feeling more like a little person to you, especially when she reacts to your coming close. You’ll notice that she’s spending more time being awake and alert and is staying active for longer periods.

She is gradually gaining more head control, and may move her head around more to look at things. When lying on her belly, she may temporarily be able to hold her head up at about a 45-degree angle before it bobs, and she may stretch her legs out behind her to help balance the weight.

From now on, your baby’s hands will be a constant source of interest to her. She will stare at them, watch them move, and start the long process of getting them under control that will culminate in a month or two from now with the ability to reach for things, grab them, and bring them to her mouth.

Your baby’s sleep is now becoming more circadian—meaning that her activity, heart rate, and body temperature are starting to develop more distinct patterns depending upon whether it’s night or day. Sleeping episodes will get longer with more time awake in between.

Unless delivery was complicated, you’re largely recovered from the immediate physical effects of childbirth. Your bleeding, or lochia, will have turned to pink, then white discharge, and then gradually tapered off. Your episiotomy or other stitches should be healed by now. After some itching, your c-section will be looking more healed now, too. But your core energies, your elan vitale, may still be lagging behind.

 

“It’s amazing how quickly a day passes with a baby. I have to remind myself if I get one thing accomplished each day—whether it’s grocery shopping, folding laundry, or just having got dressed and taken a shower— I’ve done a lot.”

The six-week mark is also time for your checkup with the doctor or midwife, and it may conclude the year-long, intense relationship that you’ve had together. If you have lingering concerns about what happened to you or your baby during birth, take along a copy of your hospital records with a pen and notebook and ask your caregiver to help you translate the notes there.

If all looks normal, your care provider will give you the okay for driving, exercising, and having sex. Even if you’re feeling like you never want to have sex again, one subject you definitely want to discuss during this appointment is birth control.

It is possible to get pregnant again as soon as a few weeks after giving birth—even before your period comes back. Although solely breastfeeding your baby with no formula supplementation may delay your becoming fertile again, breastfeeding is not a 100-percent fail-safe contraceptive method.

YOU

Sex after birth

What’s that? Even though you’ve been given the go-ahead by your health-care provider, the thought of having sex may not be very appealing in these early months after giving birth, and for some new mothers, not for the first year!

A University of Wisconsin study of 570 new parents found that it took bottle-feeding parents about seven weeks and breastfeeding parents about eight weeks to resume having sexual intercourse after having a baby. And surveys in popular parenting magazines appear to show that routine sexual intimacy may not return for many months after that for some couples. Plus, babies are notorious for waking up just as their parents get comfortable. Combine those interruptions with sleep deprivation, chronic stress, and possible worry about vaginal pain and it’s easy to see why two-thirds of new parents report that sex is close to the last thing on their minds during baby’s first year.

Plus, breastfeeding reduces vaginal lubrication, and it can also temporarily thin the lining of your vagina, which may make you fear being injured. Psychologically, a lot of new moms also feel “all touched out” by their babies, and many women feel resentment at the shift in roles at home.

Don’t feel pressured by someone else’s standards for recovery and returning to sexual activity. But do steal time for intimacy. (For more about postpartum sex, see in 5. Managing Your First Year.)

   FLASH FACT: Sex Before and After Baby

One survey found that, on average, couples made love 10 times per month prior to the pregnancy, 5 times a month during pregnancy, and 4 times a month after the baby was born. But every couple should respect their own pace.