MONTH 2
(8–11 weeks)
Baby’s weight: 8½ to 13½ pounds (average for girls);
9 to 14½ pounds (average for boys)
Baby’s height: 20¾ to 24¾ inches (average for girls);
21½ to 25 inches (average for boys)
YOUR BABY
Something very important happens to your baby this month: She begins to open up to the world around her. Your baby’s awake-and-aware time grows ever longer, and you may catch her looking around sometimes. She’ll seem intrigued by your face when you talk to her, stare up at you while she’s nursing, or spend time briefly gazing at her hand when she’s lying on her back. If she’s fussing, you may be able to distract her with a toy or a change in scenery.
Even though she still holds her hands mostly in a fist, she may grasp a rattle for a few seconds without dropping it.
Two-month-old baby
Her first spontaneous smile—one that’s not just a muscle twitch or gas—will be a major parent-baby milestone. Your heart may leap, and you’ll feel like it’s finally payback time for all your lost sleep. With one toothless grin, your baby transforms into a real person!
You’ll soon discover that your baby doesn’t just smile with her face, she smiles all over. She kicks her legs, and her arms wave like a windmill. The words “bundle of joy” truly apply.
As your baby begins to “wake up” and becomes more sociable, you’ll also discover more clues about her personality. She’ll reveal herself in many ways: through her attentiveness and ability to focus; her activity level; how regular she is about eating and sleeping; how easy or hard it is for her to adjust to change; and how social or shy she is.
Tip
Invest in baby socks and booties that actually stay on. Most babies hate wearing socks and will kick them off in a New York minute, causing every other person you pass on the street to demand to know where her socks went.
Some babies like tick-tocking back and forth in automatic baby swings, while others can’t stand it. Some beg for attention and stimulation, and others are happier just being left alone and staying quiet. Some babies go to sleep almost immediately when they’re in their car seats, others protest vigorously the minute they’re strapped in. If nothing else, being a parent will teach you to be flexible and inventive.
YOU
Combine this peak month for baby’s crying, your own physical recovery, and potential pressures for returning to work, and you’re facing an exceptionally stressful month. In fact, more than one mom has commented to us that this postpartum adjustment period is as difficult as childbirth itself!
A word about talking
When parents talk to babies, it isn’t idle chatter: It emphasizes sounds that babies need to hear in order to master their native tongue. Your baby may now begin to respond uniquely to you. You may notice that your baby’s body and face react differently to a stranger leaning over to talk to her than when you do, and she’s likely to show excitement when she knows you’re reaching down to pick her up for feeding. “Motherese” is the term linguistic researchers use for the unique language that parents use to communicate with their children. In every culture and language in the world, mothers and other adults talk to babies in a voice that’s an octave higher in pitch and that slows down and creates contours in sounds. Try coming in close and looking into your baby’s eyes and saying sweet nothings. She’s likely to look back at you and make a cooing sound in response. Then, it’s your turn to imitate the coos. There, you just held a mother-baby or dad-baby conversation! But, don’t expect to have the interchange happen again the next time you try. Baby responses at this point are not always predictable. Just enjoy the moment when it happens.
YOUR BABY
Baby’s body changes
While your baby was in your womb, she stayed folded up with her elbows bent, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her knees drawn up next to her body, and her back rounded in a curve—you know, the “fetal position.”
FLASH FACT: Every Baby Is Unique
Is your baby easygoing? Slow to warm up? Mothers of more than one child have told us how their first baby was very different from their second, and how their third baby was different from the other two—and they swear the differences were there from day one! Though parents have a strong influence on their children’s development, studies show that there are significant genetic components for intelligence, demeanor, and personality as well.
“People used to tell me, ‘Your life’s going to change,’ but I never listened. I had no idea how much my priorities would change.”
But now that she’s been out in the world for a while, you can see her body starting to relax and stretch out as her muscles start to lengthen. Her fingers are opening up into chubby little starfishes, and she may be able to briefly (but disinterestedly) grasp a rattle.
Her arm and leg movements are becoming smoother and less jerky, and her arms may move around in circles when she’s excited. Her legs are starting to appear less curved and more extended, but her feet may still turn inward. She will use both her arms and legs to bat at a toy swirling around above her.
Your baby is now gaining more head and neck control, which lets her raise her head and hold it up for seconds at a time to look around when she’s against your shoulder, and to raise her chin momentarily when she’s on her tummy or supported by you in a sitting position.
Your baby may already be settled into regular sleeping and eating routines, or she could still be quite unpredictable and wake up and nurse at seemingly random times day and night. Most babies do become regular and predictable eventually; some just take longer than others. (For more about baby temperament, see in this chapter.)
By now your baby is starting to get her immunizations. (For more information about them, including possible side effects, turn to in 6. Medical and Safety Guide.)
Simple connections
Your baby is now beginning to make simple connections. She tries to reach out with her hand for an object and leans forward to put her mouth on it instead. You can see her mind working: “I cry: I get picked up.” “Mom raises her shirt: I get fed.” “I’m getting put down: My diaper’s going to be changed.”
Your baby’s communication skills are improving, too. Soon your baby will be flexing some very important muscles: her vocal cords. This month you may find her practicing some vowel-like sounds like “oooh,” and “aahhh.” You’ll hear a variety of coos, gurgles, and other interesting chortles. A few months from now, your baby will laugh out loud at some silly thing you do and the games will really begin.
Tip
Instead of trying to devote all of your evening hours to spending quality time with your baby, go to sleep early and plan to play with her in the morning when she’s wide awake and you’re refreshed.
The vision connection
One of the reasons that your baby really begins tuning into the world this month is that her eyes and the visual centers in her brain are developing. The cones, or cells, in the retinas of her eyes are starting to mature and increase in number.
When she was a newborn, your baby could only focus 8 to 10 inches from her face, but now she can see clearly about 8 to 10 feet away— basically across the room, with boys able to see greater distances than girls, and girls more able to distinguish individual faces. Between now and next month, your baby’s eye and head movements will become increasingly smoother when it comes to tracking objects traveling across her visual field.
Tip
Once in a while, tuck your baby facing outward with her back against your chest and your arm passing across her shoulder and under her opposite arm to give her a change of perspective.
Her eyes will also start converging—working together—better when she’s looking at something. Eye muscles nearest the bridge of a baby’s nose are the strongest, and sometimes that may make one or both of her eyes appear to be crossed temporarily. Sometimes, too, babies can look cross-eyed if the skin of the upper eyelid folds over. This will gradually change as your baby’s face matures and the bridge of her nose begins to elevate.
“I came home exhausted and depressed from baby worries and work pressures. My wife handed my son over to me the minute I stepped in the door. He looked up at me and smiled this huge, toothless grin for the first time. Tears welled up in my eyes. ‘He knows me! I’m his DAD!’ The rest of the world disappeared in that moment.”
Preemie skills take longer
If your baby arrived prematurely, she’ll need more time to accomplish the same feats as full-term babies her age. Premature babies (“preemies”) are usually assigned two different ages. Chronological age refers to when your baby was actually born, and adjusted age refers to the age your baby would be if she had arrived on her due date. Use your baby’s adjusted age—the date she was expected to arrive—when you compare your preemie’s skills to those of full-term babies. Remember, too, that there are wide variations in how quickly all babies master skills.
Signs of Eye Problems
A baby with a visual impairment can range from being partially sighted to completely blind. Here are some signs this month that your baby may be having trouble seeing:
• Wandering eye. One eye consistently drifts in a different direction from the other after the first four months. (Take a picture to show your baby’s doctor.)
• Discoloration. There are white spots, or there appears to be a grayish coating over one or both eyes.
• Crossed or drifting eyes. Your baby’s eyes stay crossed all the time.
• Unusual eye movements. The eyes make purposeless or repetitive movements.
• Eye irritation. Your baby squints, closes one eye, blinks a lot, has a heavy, mucous-y discharge, or frequently rubs her eyes.
• Poor coordination. At this age, your baby has trouble reaching and grasping for toys.
If your baby has any of these symptoms, ask your baby’s pediatrician about having her eyes examined, because getting eye problems treated early can make a big difference. If your pediatrician finds something unusual, you will probably be referred to a pediatric optometrist or ophthalmologist. Although both of these vision experts have special training in diagnosing and treating children’s vision problems, and both can perform tests to detect vision problems, ophthalmologists are physicians specializing in eye diseases and who can perform eye surgery.
Annoying Questions
Everybody always wants to get in on the act when it comes to baby advice! You may be shocked that total strangers in the grocery store will make comments and may even try to touch the baby. You probably remember these people—they’re the same ones who tried to touch your belly while you were pregnant and asked if you’d started looking at preschools yet.
When it comes to dealing with Nosy Nellies, remember it’s not you, it’s them. All parents are insecure about the choices they’ve made. When it sounds like someone is asking, “How long do you plan to breastfeed?” what they may really be asking is, “Did I breastfeed long enough?”